Invader Zim Fanfiction
A/N: YAY! First Invader Zim fanfiction XD Dude, this is going to be sooooooooo fun! :)
Hope you enjoy reading it! Hope you laugh your guts out too! XD I don't know how long this fic will last but rest assured, I will keep the characters as IC as possible AND I will try to make it as hilarious too! And I dislike OCs so there will only be ONE OC if it's possible, 'kay? It'll make your suffering more bearable XD
Also, barely any romance will be in this fic. Just drama and butt-loads of humour. MAYBE there might be a one-sided crush. Dunno. But I just want to let you know that there will be NO pairings. Maybe. So you can rest easy knowing that Zim won't suddenly turn all gooey and -shiver- romantic. Neither will Dib. Urg. In fact, let's just to stick to the original genre of the IZ series and just have NO romance at all. Yeah, that'll make it easier :D
Anyway, whatevs. Have fun reading!
PS: I will update my other fic soon too. Promise! ;)
"I am ZIM!"
"Yes, yes, I know you are, but I'm ask--"
"I am ZIM!"
"I know, Zim. You've told me. Now, tell me if--"
"I am ZIM!"
"GOSH DARN IT, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT U--"
"I AM ZIM!"
The man then proceeded to open the window, stand on the sill, scream and jump. The class collectively gasped but since they were only on the first floor, the man only scraped his knees and stood up again. His upper body could be seen through the classroom window. With an insane grin, he waved madly at the students and then ran off screaming.
Zim snickered behind his hand but then abruptly stopped when a shadow befell him. He looked up to discover that Ms. Bitters was looming over him in a… looming manner. "Zim," she hissed darkly, a snake-like tongue jutting out of her mouth. "He only wanted to know if your desk was wobbling." She gestured to the other desks in her classroom. "You know that the mutant termites have eaten all the left legs of each desk in this filthy school. Because we're cheap, we were only going to replace the left legs with the various items around the vicinity. But now you've chased away the labour guy, who we weren't even going to pay. Zim, as punishment for your evil deed, you shall replace him."
"Hmm," Zim pondered, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Will Zim get paid with the monies?"
"No," Ms. Bitters growled. "Now get working, you doomed child."
Zita, the girl all the way in the middle row, then put up her hand. "Ms. Bitters, isn't that called child labour? Isn't it illegal?"
As soon as she said 'illegal', the classroom suddenly lit up with flashing red and purple lights. "WARNING, WARNING," said a mechanical, somewhat computer-like voice from the ceiling. "TABOO HAS BEEN BROKEN. PREPARING TO CLEAR THE THREAT. SUSPICIOUS PERSONAS WILL BE NULLIFIED."
Then metallic arms appeared from the ceiling and, screaming, Zita was captured by them and disappeared through a hole.
The class was silent for a moment before Ms. Bitters turned to look back at Zim. "Well?" she asked darkly.
Zim saluted. "I'll be doing my job right away, sir!" He stood up and began picking up any random thing in the classroom: trashcans, scrunched up pieces of paper, a heater, mousetraps, an explosive device, Keef, lollipops, discarded pencils… Once he couldn't find anymore things, Zim began to stack them all under the desks, making them resemble sort of like actual table legs. The previous sentence was a lie. They didn't look like anything, really. Just stacks of junk that would collapse at any moment.
Once Zim was sitting back in his seat, he took a deep breath.
Then four tables behind him crumpled, along with Dib's. Once the moans of the children were heard, Zim triumphantly stood up on his desk and punched the air in victory. "Success for I, the almighty ZIM!"
Dib, still on the floor, looked at the green alien disguised as a human with an incredulous expression. "What?" he yelled. "I barely leaned on mine and it fell! How can you be standing on it and not be… falling… too…. yourself… and hurting…" He winced. He really should think about his sentences before he actually spoke them.
Zim smirked at the scythe-haired human. "Because, filthy Dib-stink, I am SUPERIOR to all you DIRTY, UGLY, SMELLY worm-babies!" He shook his fist at him. "Why can't you just appreciate the amazingness of ZIM and be done with it?"
Dib gaped. "Done with what?"
"SILENCE! Zim demands you to be quiet!" He sat back down on his chair and innocently twiddled his thumbs on the desk's surface. "I sit like a HYUMAN because I'm NORMAL. Do any of you doubt me?"
Nobody raised their hand. Good. Zim wouldn't need to shoot anybody with a laser today, although the thought of not killing any humans always saddened him. Which, in fact, defeated the purpose of the situation being 'good', so really, Zim should be unhappy that no one raised their hand so he could kill them. Oh, woe is Zim.
But if no one suspected him – other than the Dib-worm – then that meant he was undergoing his mission smoothly. That was a good thing.
Too bad he couldn't kill any of his classmates though.
Wait a second, he thought, his antennae twitching beneath the itchy wig he wore. Why must I, the amazing ZIM, need an excuse to destroy my filthy earthen classmates? He grinned broadly. I need no excuse! I am superior and so therefore, I need not obey anything! He cackled evilly. Not even reason, sense or pure logic! That's how great I AM!
Again, a shadow loomed over him. Zim stopped his insane laughter and looked up at Ms. Bitters again. She was growling. "Why are you happy Zim?" she asked in a hiss. "No one should be happy in my class. Everyone knows that happiness burns my skin. Are you trying to kill me, Zim?"
Zim didn't know whether this earth-dwelling female was actually HUMAN. She was too scary, and tall. In fact, if Zim didn't know that she wasn't apart of the Irken race, he would've thought that she was a descendent from a previous Tallest. Scary, tall and, most importantly, evil. And, because she resembled an Irken Tallest so much, Zim couldn't help but feel an instinctive need to obey her. If not, then he would probably die.
"No, sir!" Zim said stiffly, trying not to cower beneath her deathly glare.
"Then why were you laughing?" she snapped.
Quick! I must think of another INGENIOUS excuse to fool these stupid earth-creatures. "It's just that Dib's head is so darn big!" Zim pointed accusingly at his arch-nemesis who had fixed up his desk and was currently sitting on his chair. "It's so hideously LARGE that when I look at it, I feel more grateful for my smaller yet more SUPERIOR brain-skull-head thingy."
Ms. Bitters glanced at Dib. His mouth was hanging open again. "Well, you're right," the teacher spat. "Dib's head is unusually large. I pity the unfortunate child even more than I pity you, Zim, with your awful, ugly skin-condition."
Zim nodded full-heartily. "Yes, yes. I am and shall always be more amazing that the Dib-worm."
Ms. Bitters sneered at the green child before sneakily creeping behind her desk again. "Now, since Skool is such a horrible, miserable place and is filled with such undeserving, miserable children, we have decided to make your lives even more miserable by adding a new student to our horrible class. It's a random occurrence that you ugly children should be used to by now." She glared subtly at the door. "I've forgotten that I've left her out there for an hour and thirty-four minutes. You can come in now, pathetic new girl."
The door opened slowly and the new girl walked in, a little timidly.
Upon her entrance, the whole class's (besides Zim's) eyes widened.
She had grey eyes and her shoulder-lengthened hair was dyed rainbow. Rainbow! Everyone who was socially active knew that dying your hair rainbow was a homosexual's sign for pride. Immediately, the students of the class stretched as far away from her as possible on their seats, leering with slight disgust. It didn't help that she was wearing the most hideous clothes either. Too bright, too pink and too yellow. Who was this girl?
Ms. Bitters ignored their reactions but still glared at the meek-looking child. "Tell the class your name, one sentence about yourself and then go sit down and never speak again."
Slowly, the girl forced herself to look up, boldly meeting the class's rejecting gaze. "My name is Ren. I like the sound of pebbles when I step on them." Her voice was quiet, slightly melancholy, but other than that, it sounded pleasant.
Before an awkward silence could begin, Ms. Bitters spoke. "Yes, we all love the sound of crushing things beneath our feet. Go now to your seat, Ren." She said her name in a hiss, just like how she said everyone's name.
Zim stared at the newbie in suspicion as she took a seat in the front row, a few desks away from him. The ones who sat next to her shuffled their desks a little further away, glancing nervously around them. Upon seeing her, Zim immediately disliked her, and not for the reasons his class did. Why didn't he like her then? It was because she was different from all the other stuuuupid pig-smellies in this stuuuupid human class filled with uuuugly worm-babies. Although this inferior girl was still short like THEM, still STANK like THEM and had the same horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE human genetics like THEM, there was something about her that was different, other than her unusually coloured hair: her eyes.
They were grey, a colourless, absolutely dull shade. Zim narrowed his eyes cautiously at her. Perhaps the strange colouring of her vision organs allows her to have supernatural abilities? He continued to glare at her. This is no ordinary HUMAN, his thoughts hissed. What if she, like the pathetic human boy Dib, tries to foil my plans because she could see through my INGENIOUS disguise? She may have a sharper vision than all the others, allowing her to see through Zim's AMAZING, NORMAL HUMAN-BOY cover. He decided to ignore the fact that the new girl hadn't once glanced at him in an odd manner. In fact, she hadn't paid attention to the green kid or even directly looked at him.
This irked him somewhat.
She caught Zim's attention; why wouldn't she even look at ZIM?! He demanded acknowledgement!
But ooh… He would get it. She shall acknowledge me, for she MUST, when I crush her frail, weak, human bones by my SUPERIOR Ikren technology! he cackled madly. Stuuuupid child! She has no chance against the might of ZIM!
Unbeknownst to him, he had laughed out loud in the middle of Ms. Bitters' lecture. Again.
"Zim," she snarled, a terrifying, dark aura cloaking her and the stubborn alien. "I grow tired of your uncrushed spirit. I expect to see an essay of TWO THOUSAND words by the end of the day based on my teachings thus far. It shall be counted to your overall grade, Zim, and if you fail, you'll suffer a fate worse than death, I assure you," she growled.
But her threat was like lice: it died horribly once it made contact with Zim's skin without him even noticing it.
"Uh-huh, yeah, whatever," the alien-in-disguise shrugged off easily. It'd be easy to construct that essay. All he needed to do was write the words DOOM, MISERY and HORRIBLE. How hard could that be?
The lunch bell went off and the children of Ms. Bitters' class scurried away, even as she continued to mutter, "Doom… doom… doom…"
Zim was eating by himself, as usual, in the cafeteria. He poked his cafeteria food, which then gurgled and spat as if it was an engine. Slowly getting used to his food not being completely dead yet, Zim pushed the tray aside with his spork. With a sigh, he glared at the filthy human children as they chatted and laughed amongst themselves, ignorant of the alien who plotted their demise.
They're so horribly dirty, Zim thought with aggravation. Earth is so dirty in general. Nothing is clean on this planet. These pig-smellies are all so short. Stuuuupid. They're practically begging for me to destroy them! Look at that FILTHY child pick his nose! I feel like vomiting.
Zim narrowed his eyes beneath his contacts, his sneer growing with every second he was forced to observe these inferior beings. By the unwelcoming and hostile air he gave off though, he was surprised when someone actually had the guts to sit with him on the opposite side of the table.
He stared at her blankly for a few seconds, wondering when she'd realize that she was sitting in the wrong area and hastily walk away. But she didn't. She just sat there, staring back at him nervously. Annoyed at the fact that she wasn't speaking, Zim finally growled, "What do you want, annoying new-girl?"
It annoyed him further when the new girl jumped as if she was surprised that Zim could speak. "I-ah, y-you're in my class, aren't you?" she stammered awkwardly. He noted that she had a soft voice. She wasn't the type to ridicule other people, then.
Zim just stared at her, not bothering to honor her ridiculous question with an answer. How could she have missed the boy with green skin and no ears and a missing nose?
The girl - Ren, he recalled absently - gulped and immediately started to apologize. "I-I'm sorry. Silly question. Of course you're in my class; I saw you." She took a deep, calming, unsteady breath. "My name's Ren." She smiled timidly. "Can I ask for yours?"
Again, Zim didn't see the point of that question. "Sure," he replied with a shrug.
A beat passed. "W-What is it?" she stuttered.
Her stuttering was beginning to annoy him too. If she wanted to know my name, then why didn't she just say so from the beginning? Zim thought harshly. Why did she need to ask if she could ask for my name? Idiot earth-girl. "I am the almighty ZIM, pathetic pig-smelly," he stated in his usual dramatic manner. "Now BEGONE with you! Zim dislikes your DISGUSTING presence!"
His words were like knives stabbing at her chest. Even the usually ignorant Zim was aware of how she flinched, the pain in her grey eyes apparent and gleaming with fresh, hot tears. She tried to force her expression to remain calm to no prevail. "May I ask why, then?" she asked quietly, without her usual stutter. "Why don't you like me? You barely know me."
Zim glared at her. Although he realized her sadness, he didn't feel a tinge of compassion. "Because, dirt-child, you're--" He stopped himself for a moment. Was it normal for a human to be so unsympathetic to another human? If he shunned her in her hour of need, would that make him seem less human and more like… a monster? No! I cannot blow my cover, not now of all times! he thought determined. I should be nice to this PATHETIC girl. Then others will see how utterly NORMAL and HUMAN I am as they witness Zim's almighty sympathy skills! He inwardly shivered. Humans and their vulnerability to such weak and pathetic emotions disgusted him.
He forced down the bile that threatened to spew out of his mouth as he said, "Zim is having a BAD, HUMAN day. I didn't mean to" - shudder - "say that I didn't like you." He almost balked at his own lie. "You are a good, human earth-girl. You are good and nice and smart and funny and everything else that is good and nice and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. Accept Zim's consoling and GO AWAY." He managed a creepy, forced grin. "Shoo and spread the word of Zim's natural, human ability to empathize with his peers among the other worm-babies in this pathetic Skool."
There. My cover remains unbroken, he thought with triumph.
But the girl didn't do as she was told. She just sat there, tears still in her eyes, and happily smiling at Zim. "So you won't mind if I sit with you then?" she asked brightly. "Good. Because everyone else is avoiding me. You're the first one to actually say something not mean to me. Do you know why they're acting so strange around me, Zim? Is the rest of the class avoiding me because I'm colour blind?"
"FOOL!" Zim shouted, standing up on his chair and pointing at her. "Are you deaf, stupid new-girl? I told you to GO AWAY and spread my amazingness around the Skool! You can definitely not sit with the amazing ZIM! Such a pathetic, moronic, stupid, uuuuuugly pig-smelly can never be important enough to--" Then he stopped, her words finally registering in his alien mind. He glared down at her. "… Colour blind?" he repeated slowly.
She nodded, growing both confused and scared. Was this Zim bipolar or something? "Y-Yeah," she stuttered. "Can't you tell? I've been told that my clothes clash in colour and that my eyes kind of hint at it. I-I can't see colour, Zim. Is that why the class doesn't like me? Because I'm different?"
Zim sat back down on his chair quietly, staring at her with new speculation. So her bland eye colouring is due to colour-blindness? Or is that just a cover-up to whatever other human powers she has? "I thought the females of your UGLY human species couldn't be colour blind," he pointed out calmly.
Ren avoided his critical gaze. She also ignored the way he spoke so weirdly. "I-I wasn't born with this. T-There was an accident when I was younger so I, um, turned out this way." She gave him a nervous grin. "You couldn't tell I was colour blind? Does that mean the class doesn't know either?"
Ah. Something clicked in Zim's mind. The reason why she wasn't keeping away from him like his other human classmates was because she was colour blind. She didn't know that he had green skin. But she must see that I have no nose and ears, he thought in suspicion. What is she planning? "Of course I knew that you were colour blind!" Zim denied full-heartily, acting appalled that she would even think that he'd be that ignorant. "I was just, ah, testing you! Do not question the almighty ZIM! I'm not as pathetic as the other pig-smellies," he snarled.
"So they don't know that I'm colour blind?" she asked, more puzzled than ever before.
Talking to her was tiring. Zim wanted her to go away. This was probably the most he'd spoken to anyone on this dirt-ball of a planet other than Gir and Dib and the transmissions to the Tallests (oh, and his computer too). He narrowed his eyes at her brightly coloured hair and the strange, bright, neon colours of her clothing. "Oh, I think they know that you're colour blind," he found himself saying in a wry tone. "Perhaps your assumptions were correct: they all reject you because of your defect."
Which, by the way, if he wanted to stay 'normal' in the eyes of the majority of the human population, it meant that he must reject her too.
And he would. Gladly.
Now that he thought about it, when he was the new kid, nobody was nice to him. Maybe it was considered normal for people to reject and ignore the ones who were different. So my resources were wrong, Zim thought with frustration. It must be out-dated. The human race must've stopped accepting those who differ a long time ago.
Hmm. Perhaps they weren't so prone to sympathy and compassion after all.
With that realization in mind, Zim glared fiercely at her. Ren flinched in shock at the intensity of his hostility. "Leave me be, new-girl," he snapped. "I don't want to waste my precious, precious time talking to FILTH like you! You made my already bad day even BADDER with your dirty, colour-blind self and I'd appreciate it if you never speak to the almighty ZIM again! I reject you like the rest of the world!"
His words were harsh, biting, soul chipping; and her tortured eyes spoke louder than anything she could ever say.
And, for some reason or another, Zim felt regretful. He felt like he always did whenever Gir cried because of something he did. Or leaked, whatever, since robots couldn't cry. Zim felt… uneasy. And he didn't like it. He began to hate this human more and more.
I am Irken! I am evil! I cannot feel remorse for practicing an evil deed! Zim is immune to such things!
But nevertheless, he found himself scowling as he added, "But you may sit with Zim for only TODAY and no more! Afterwards, you shall not speak to me unless I speak to you; you shall not approach me unless I approach you. Do you understand, stupid new-girl?"
Her eyes were still hurt, still sad and depressed, but she smiled nonetheless in gratitude. "Thank you," she whispered quietly. "Even if it's only for one day, you're the only one who's accepted me. Thank you."
But Zim ignored her. For the rest of the day, he would pretend that she didn't exist, even if he said that she could sit with him. This new girl, this Ren, would become a monster just like the rest of her species. She will learn how to hurt others, how to ridicule others, how to reject Zim. She will learn that by sitting with him, she was only dooming her chances to find real, human companions. Because that day was inevitable, Zim didn't see a need to befriend her or even hide the fact that he hated her. She would shun him like his peers did, she would reject him like his peers did; she would hate him because he was different too.
It was how humans were. From his observations, from his research on the ape-men, survival was rooted deep into their core. In this world, the only way to survive was to become a part of a group, a society or a family. All those who were rejected were left to die by themselves. The outcasts were sentenced to death; the rejects were doomed to die lonely and depressed. Those who weren't part of a community were those who were different. If you were different, you were shunned, but if you weren't, if you went along with the majority of the population, then you were accepted. As simple as that.
Those who were different couldn't survive. So desperately, people seek to find their place in the world, a place where they were accepted. And if they were to be accepted, they must reject the ideals or people that the community did not accept, since separate societies must have separate beliefs, the very essence that makes them separate. This rejection shall lead to more yearnings for acceptance and thus the cycle begins again in a never-ending nightmare of misery and neglect.
Zim found it pointless, really. They were only causing more suffering for themselves. As part of a superior race, Zim's only core instinct was to serve the Irken Empire. All Irkens had the same beliefs, had the same ideals, and so therefore were just one race. If there was only one race, then there was no room for a different society or community to exist within it. These humans, pathetic and stupid, divided themselves into nations, into 'groups', into social separations, which limited their power and merely heightened their anxiety. Irkens were superior because they acted as one, complete race (among other things). Besides the usual oddity, there was no room for rejection because ultimately, each Irken had the same goal.
Zim didn't need anybody, so he didn't suffer from loneliness. He didn't need to be accepted by the pathetic breed called humans so he wasn't dependent. With the single-minded need to contribute to the Irken Empire, the Irkens never sought acceptance or love or moral value. All there was, was obedience.
Obedience to the greater duty of the empire.
At the thought, a large, evil smile crept up on Zim's face.
I shall conquer this dirty ball of DIRT and I shall do my empire proud, he thought. Zim needs nobody. These pathetic humans shall die. He glanced at the new girl, who was poking at her food, oblivious to his murderous thoughts. This time, he didn't feel remorseful, he didn't feel regretful. He felt… like a true Irken.
I shall take over Earth… for the good of the Irken Empire.
And not even the sight of a thousand, weeping, miserable, tormented grey eyes could stop him.
In fact, he believed nothing could.
A/N: Alright, first chap done. How'd ya like it? :) Constructive criticism preferred XD