AN: I know this is a day late, but it came to me while passing out candy last night, and watching all of the older siblings helping the younger ones pick a piece of candy. Also, this is why I think Sam truly hates Halloween.
Dean sat on the edge of his bed and listened as his little brother went on and on and on about the Halloween party that they would be having at school. He talked about the pictures they colored, about the cupcakes he was sure they were going to have, that would have spiders and worms on them, or in them, he wasn't really sure. All Sammy knew was that it was going to be the most fun thing in the whole wide world.
Dean smile, and listened, and wished that he didn't have to break it to the kid that he wouldn't be able to participate in all of the events. The fall walk they would go on, to show their costumes, wouldn't be very fun for Sam, because he wouldn't have a costume, Dad forbade them to even mention the word Halloween in his presence, it meant that the next day was the anniversary of their mother's death. That wasn't something you talked about with the Winchesters.
Plus, with all of the evil things that Dad fought, it was like Halloween all of the time. But Sammy didn't know that. Sammy didn't know about the thing that took their mom, didn't know that their dad fought evil things, ghosts and stuff. He didn't need to know that. Sammy didn't remember their mom and he didn't need to be forced into this life.
"Can I Dean?" the five year old asked enthusiastically.
"I want to be Batman for Halloween. Kenny says that you are supposed to dress up and be something you're not. I wanna be Batman." The bubbly child announced.
"I don't know Sammy."
"Pwease Dean." He turned big hazel eyes on his big brother.
"Dean, everyone else gets a do stuff. Pwease." Dean closed his eyes and sighed inwardly. He didn't have any money to get him one of those store bought costumes, and they didn't have so many clothes that they could ruin some to make a costume.
"Sam, you can't go as Batman." He finally said wishing that they were like normal kids and could just ask their parents and they could get what they wanted. Dean hardly ever wished for normal, but when it came to his little brother, he wanted that normal. He wanted him to be able to have a life, to be someone other than what Dean was destined to become. Sam's face fell, and a tear threatened to come down his face.
"Why?" The little boy's voice was whiney and sad, and it killed Dean to hear it. He couldn't just simply say 'we don't have the money' or 'dad wouldn't let us'. Sam wouldn't understand that, and he was too inquisitive to let it go. Sam would ask over and over and over again until Dean came up with something that he would understand, something that his little brain would think made sense.
"Dean?" The little boy asked again trying to get his big brother to answer his question.
"Because why Dean?"
"Because if you go as Batman then everyone will know your secret identity."
"Secret idembtiy?" Sammy's asked.
"Yeah. If everyone knows that you're Batman then they will want you to break pieces of lead, they will want your autograph, they will want to see all of your cool weapons, and you won't be able to because you've signed a Bat contract."
"Contract. You know. A piece of paper that swears you won't tell the secrets of the Bat World."
"I don't know where the Bat World is? Do I have to go there?"
"It's not a place…it's like a club."
"Like….like those secret clubs on TV."
"Oh." Sam said and truly didn't understand what his big brother was talking about. "But I wouldn't tell."
"But part of the contract is that you can't show people your costume."
"But…but I'm not the real Batman."
"But I wanted to be Batman."
"There is a way you can be Batman."
"Really? I wanna be Batman."
"Well, you'd have to wear my old sweatshirt, the blue one, and sweat pants and put dirt on your face and mess up your hair. And when anyone asks you what you are, you have to say a homeless man."
"I gots a home." Sam said with confusion.
"Yes, I know you do Sammy. But you have to pretend that you don't so people don't know that you are Batman."
"But I'd still be Batman?"
"Yup. And you can't tell anyone, not even Dad, Uncle Bobby or Pastor Jim."
"Okay Dean." And that was how Dean got out of it. That was how Sammy was satisfied and that was how he dressed his little brother on the day of the Halloween party. His little brother came running to him after school and chattered all about the party, the worms in the dirt that was really cookies, and the spider rings on cup cakes, and the cookies and the candy. He talked about costumes and the fall walk, and when they finally got back inside their apartment, Dean was starting to wonder if he himself had actually attended the party.
Dean was starting to fix supper for the both of them when Sam finally took a breath long enough to ask; "Dean, we goin' tricks and treating?"
"Kenny says that his big brother and sister and him are going tricks or treating…I want to go too. He says you take a pillow and get it filled with candy."
"We can't Sammy."
"Why not Dean?"
"We just can't Sammy." Sam turned on the eyes and Dean and tears started to flow down his face.
"But, but, Dean, all the kids at school are going. I want to go." Dean was torn. He knew that if he let the kid go and their dad found out he was a dead man walking, but then again, he remembered a time when life was normal, and they had a mom, and a dad, and they were a family like all of the other families in the world, and he had gone trick or treating with his mom. As a matter of fact, that had been the last thing they had done together. She died the next day. Sammy had never done that, never been able to go door to door and ask for candy, and just be happy that someone put something in his pillow case, and then come home and dump it all on the floor and see what the plunder was. Dad was going to be gone until late. Dean looked at his little brother again, and watched his little fists dig at his hazel eyes and Dean decided that disobeying their father in this matter wouldn't be that bad.
So, they had their supper, Dean touched up the dirt on Sam's Batman disguise, stripped a pillow case off of an unsuspecting pillow, and when dusk fell Dean took his little brother out trick or treating.
They got to the first house and Dean stopped at the drive way and nodded towards the door. "Go on."
"But, you have to come to." Sam said suddenly nervous at the idea of walking up to a stranger's house and ringing the doorbell. Dean relented, and Sam took his hand and the two of them went up to the door.
"Ring the doorbell Sam." Sam hesitated. "Come on Sammy. You are the one who wanted to do this."
"But I'm scared."
"Why are you scared Sammy?"
"What if they don't like me?" Dean almost laughed.
"Sammy. They will like you, they will be nice to you. Just ring the door bell." Sam, who trusted his big brother more than anything, knew that he wouldn't lie to him, so he did as instructed, and the door opened and a smiling woman answered the door.
"Well, then aren't you so cute. What are you supposed to be."
"I can't tell you." Sam said after a second. "I'm in contract." The woman laughed and Dean blushed.
"Okay well then." Dean nudged his brother to say 'trick or treat' like they'd practiced on the way here.
Sam looked up at Dean unsure, bit his lip for a second, and turned his eyes back to the woman, and then thrust his bag out, and said "Twick or Tweat." And then his hid face in Dean's side.
"You are adorable little man." She said and then put a piece of candy in his bag, and Sam turned to look then.
"What do you say Sammy?" Dean encouraged.
"You're quite welcome." Her eyes went to Dean. "Where's your bag?" she asked with a piece of candy in her hand.
"This is for my brother." He said. "Thanks anyway ma'am. C'mon Sammy." And the two headed down the driveway.
"That was fun Dean!!!" Sam exclaimed jumping up and down.
"Wanna do it by yourself next time?" Sam considered it as they walked and when the next house already had a crowd of kids heading up the drive, Sam relinquished his hold on Dean's hand and flew up the drive, and joined the chorus of "trick or treat" And Dean felt a little proud that his little brother was the only one to say thank you.
They kept going until they didn't see any more porch lights on, and the other kids had gone home. Sam jabbered about costumes, people passing out candy, decorations and the candy in his bag all of the way back to the apartment. Dean smiled and enjoyed his prattle. Sammy deserved this kind of memory, it made Dean feel like he was finally able to give some part of their mother to his little brother. Dean unlocked the door and went inside.
"What do we do with the candy?"
"Well, we see what you got, and then you eat one piece and then we put it all back."
"I get one piece?"
"You have to go to bed Sammy. And too much will make you sick." Truthfully, he just didn't want a hyper Sammy running around the apartment. So they sat on the floor, and dumped the pillow case on the floor. Sam had collected a mountain of candy. They began separating it and Sam turned his nose up at some claiming it was grose and that Dean could have it, and just as Sam was picking out his piece the door flew open and their Dad stepped through.
"Sam, go to bed."
"But, Dean said I gets to have…"
"Go. To. Bed. Sam." Sam looked at his big brother and Dean nodded almost imperceptibly and Sam got up and with eyes glued to his big brother, he went slowly into the bedroom and closed the door. He sat down against the door and pressed his ear against it.
"Dean Michael Winchester! What in the hell do you think you were doing?"
"I just took Sammy out for trick or treat."
"You know better! You know that this night is not a good night for children to be out."
"Sammy wanted to…"
"And you are older and you should have just told him no."
"But, I just thought, well I thought that since mom took me…" Without warning John rushed Dean and threw him against the wall, his hands locked onto Dean's shirt.
"Your mother didn't know better! I didn't know better! You know better! Don't you ever use your mother as an excuse again! You knew better! You had no business taking your brother out of the house on a night like this. You are supposed to protect your brother, not drag him into greater danger. I trusted you Dean." Dean's stomach sank.
"I'm sorry." He said softly.
"Sorry doesn't cut it Dean. Just doesn't cut it. Your mother would be so disappointed in you. And on the night she died. Dean, what kind of man are you going to grow into if you can't follow simple rules, if you can't protect your family. Dean. I'm disappointed in you." Dean's whole body froze at that. He licked his lips and looked down. John grabbed his chin and forced him to look him in they eye. "Don't you look away, don't you cry, you did wrong, and you don't get the right to cry when you screwed up. Now, tomorrow morning, we will be leaving so Uncle Bobby can watch you. He's got better things to do other than watch you and your brother but since you can't be trusted…you better apologize to him and help him around the salvage yard."
"Yes, sir." Dean said trying to keep the quiver out of his voice.
"Now, go, get to bed." Dean swallowed hard and started for the shared bedroom.
"Can Sammy at least keep the candy?"
"No. It might be witched. You don't know those people Dean. One of them could have been a real witch. I don't want your brother to die because he ate a piece of candy that a witch cast a spell over. See, Dean, this is why you can't be trusted. Go to bed."
Sammy scurried away from the door and into his bed. Dean opened and closed the door softly, assuming his younger brother was asleep. He got into bed, curled on his side, and let the silent tears flow down his face.
Sam got out of his bed after a little bit and got into his big brother's bed and snuggled against him. "I hate Halloween." Sam said softly. "I didn't like tricks or treating. I don't want to do it again Dean." Dean nodded.
"Okay Sammy." And Sam cuddled into his brother's side as tightly as he could trying to show him that he loved and trusted him.
"Thank you Dean." he said.
"Sorry about the candy."
"I didn't want it anyway." Dean's heart broke. In the living room Sam had been so excited about his candy, about the suckers especially, and was asking when he was going to be allowed to have it and where he would put it in the Impala when they left, and now, here he was, curled up behind his big brother, declaring that he didn't want any of the candy, and that he didn't like trick or treating. Dean's tears flowed faster and faster, and he realized that his dad was right, his mom would be disappointed in him.