Push

Disclaimer: Keith is not mine. Really.


She doesn't care about the meaning of life in that one moment. All it is is just lying there, in the back of the truck, feeling as the tyres move forward slowly then speed up, echoing the rapid beating of her heart. It's in this moment that she could die. She could just let go, and never look back. But it's in that moment that she's never felt more alive. More free. And she can see him in that one instant. Just staring, and smiling, and so heartbreakingly beautiful that she almost lets herself go, riding into the abyss of the unknown.

It stuns her still. The exhiliration of the moving truck. The way the blood pumping through her veins, the adrenalin pushing itself forward in her body, indicates just how lucky she is (because she is), and it's with that thought in mind, that she doesn't. That she remembers, if she lets herself go, then what does that make her? She can't give away her life like that. Not when she knows how hard it is for people that have it taken away. Life has never meant more to her than in that one single minute.

Before it all comes to an end, it's her way of sharing what they had. Keith and Natalie. Appreciating what life was all about. She didn't realise it then, it scared her, but she didn't think about it's importance, and it's significance. The way that that ride would make her learn, and grow up in ways that she didn't think were even achievable.

She hears the wheels churning, and they churn his name. The wind blows the familiar scent of his soap in her face, and she can feel him all around her. Surrounding her, making her remember him in a way that she could never have otherwise. She listens to the soft padding of the leaves on the ground as they swirl, bringing thoughts of him to the surface of her mind. She has him here with her. She can feel him, and it almost feels real.

She lets herself remember him, because it doesn't hurt. She's come to terms with it now, and she understands that feeling him is all a matter of knowing that he's still there. Whether or not he's physically on earth or not, she doesn't care. She doesn't care if there's a God, or of there's something more to her existence, or time on earth. Maybe it might have been once upon a time. That life was what we lived, and what we lost, because there was something better. Some everlasting life somewhere in the universe. But she doesn't believe in that anymore. Not that there's no everlasting life, but that there has to be something more to the life she has now. Something vital that's anchoring her here, keeping her safe, saving her.

She likes to think that Keith's still there, here on earth, because she knows he is. Even if she can't see him. She can feel him. he's there, and maybe he's what helps her in the end. He's what pushes her on, helps her in figuring out that maybe the reason that she's still alive is because there's something bigger than the both of them. And that while people die, love doesn't.

So just when she's reaching the end, feeling the truck rolling faster, almost at the edge, she's back, and pulling herself to her feet. Pushing every piece of her mind, because she knows that this is what life is. Knowing that it's something to treasure, something not to be afraid of, but to live to its fullest.

She stops the truck, and leans onto the seat, resting, breathing slightly faster, heart thudding rhythmically.

She's safe.

And she smiles. Because life is exactly how it should be.


A/N: I saw this movie last year, and remember being in love with it. And then this came to me. Drabbly, I know, but I had to get it out of my system. It's not the greatest, but oh well.