Disclaimer: I own nothing Keith related.
It was supposed to be a game.
He was the one that had to play with her mind. He was the one that was meant to play her. She had a life that he could only dream of. She was lucky, and perfect, and everything that he wasn't. Healthy. And she wasn't even appreciating all of that. She wasn't even living it. She had this whole beautiful life ahead of her, and she was doing nothing with it. He hated her for it. Despised her. Because it wasn't fair. And though he'd come to accept that that was all his life was ever going to be, he didn't have the patience to sit around and watch others waste what they were given.
So he played with her.
And it was so easy at first. It was so simple, just watching her try to live up to the things she said. Just watching her. Because she had no idea how fucking flawless she had it. No idea. And so at the beginning it was just messing with her. Even teaching her in a way. Because isn't that what life is about? Learning?
But then she got into his mind, and the players switched.
Suddenly, all his control was nowhere to be found. She had it. She had him. She seeped into his mind, his thoughts, his dreams. She was this perfect person, and it wasn't fair. He thought that that had been all of it. That his life had nothing more to offer. And that if he checked out now, it wouldn't matter because he'd lived his life. Sure, it was unfair, but he had learnt to cope. He wasn't going to pity himself, let it screw around with his mind. He was going to get out as simply as he could. No strings attached.
Then she changed sides.
And she broke him. She obliterated him. Because she was so amazing. And she was so much more than what she was on the outside. So much more. She made him into some unrecognisable image of himself. He had lost. And he was trying to pull out, but she wasn't letting him.
His attempts to avoid her were in vain, she followed him, hid in the back of his truck, and cried. She cried. And how the fuck was he supposed to just let her go like that? He couldn't just stand back and watch her cry. He couldn't just helplessly do nothing. She was the one that had all the control, and why the fuck did it hurt so damn much. It was all supposed to be a simple game, something that he could go on from and forget about. Because he was going to die anyway. He was going to leave everything behind, and he'd been ok with it.
He tried so hard. So damn hard. Just to let her walk away. For her to forget, and to never come back, and to stay away from him. Because he was angry, and scared, and so damn tired of it all. He didn't want her hanging onto his pathetic shell of a life, because she had her own life to live, and she didn't need him. Ha. She never needed him. Game or no game, it was all a bunch of bullshit in the end. He had never been more angry at himself in his whole entire life. How could he have let it get so far?
He had to get her to hate him. It was the only way. He screwed her, and he was dumping her, because that was the only thing that he knew how to do. She couldn't...couldn't love him. Because, god, it teared at him. Love. What the fuck did that even mean? He punched his truck (he'd never done it before), pounded it, and slid down crying, because he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't. The pain, and the heartbreak of it all. How much he just wanted to stay, even though he couldn't, and why did life have to be so wrong?
It ate at him. Knowing that he'd done that to her. What kind of person did that make him? But it was only to save her, because it was better than the alternative. He didn't need her with him because it was only going to make things worse. Make them so much harder than they were already going to be. But why did the pain not stop hurting? Why couldn't he just forget about her? Why couldn't it all just go back to the way things were before any of this even happened?
Then she found out, and everything worsened.
She wasn't supposed to find out. She was supposed to go on living her perfect, happy life. The one that she deserved, because it didn't involve him. That was his one wish. That she would live the life that she was meant to live before they'd met. That she could just walk away, and never know. She didn't need to know. How was he supposed to deal with that?
But then she'd tried to inch her way back into his life again. And he couldn't keep the resistance up anymore. He couldn't hold it because he wasn't strong enough. He didn't have the energy to keep fighting. Couldn't she see what she was doing to him? Here was her chance to move on, and she wasn't. She was staying here with him, and he would have done anything to see her walk out, and away from him, even if it killed him inside. Just knowing that she was fine, and safe, was enough for him. So he tried so hard to achieve that. To get her to hate him, and to leave him.
But then she whispers that they made love, and he can't take it anymore. His resolve crumbles, she's forcing him to try, and he's letting it tumble out.
She's the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
He doesn't say that she's the best, as well (even though she is), he spits out the words and turns around, because that's all he has left in him. That last sentence. It's his last attempt, and it's with those words that he's ready to end it. For her to go back to her life and just forget all about him and what he did to her. But she doesn't.
She's telling him that she's not leaving him, he's a stupid jerk, and he doesn't have it in him to fight anymore. So when she grabs him and kisses him, he's letting go. Dropping the suitcase, kissing her, wrapping his arms around her, this time not letting go. He can't pretend anymore. And yes, it's going to hurt, but he has her.
And she's enough.
A/N: Oh, Keith. I don't know what this movie is doing to me, and why now, but hey, inspiration is inspiration right? This piece was meant to be a bit messed up, because Keith's not exactly in his right mind. Love does weird things to people. Sorry if there are some things wrong with it. I haven't seen the movie in awhile, but I needed to write this after watching one of the scenes in the movie. You'll know which one ;P
Oh, and if you notice the past to presence switch I made, it was on purpose. That's pretty much the point in the story where Keith himself is at.