Disclaimer: Harry Potter Books are the intellectual and financial property of J.K. Rowling. I receive no financial compensation for writing fan fiction. I merely get the fantastical pleasure of playing in her world, and you get the pleasure...or displeasure…of reading the result.






ThE SeVeRuS SnApE FaN ClUb






Severus gave a tiny sigh of relief as he spotted a familiar head of black shaggy locks sitting at the Gryffindor table. By the time the rest of the students returned, Harry had recovered nicely. He was talking rather shyly to one of his fellow Gryffindors. Severus snorted and rolled his eyes. When Harry was at the center of attention, he curled into his shell and peeked quietly out. However, when it came to the Severus Snape Fan Club, Harry became a quite different, hyper, enthusiastic child.

Like a Potter.

It was like Harry switched from mother to father quicker than a light switch.

He shook his head, lips twitching. Once upon a time, thinking about the Potter side of Harry made his lips curl in disgust and anger. But recently, when thinking about the Potter side of Harry, his lips still curled, but not in disgust. Unlike his father, Harry's Potter side was not cruel, demeaning, and bullying. No, Harry's humor was actually funny, ironic, and distinctly Slytherin, despite the lack of subtlety.

Harry caught Severus' eye and shot him a thousand watt grin, a glint of something in his bright green eyes. Severus resisted the urge to groan in exasperation, wondering what the cheeky little blighter was planning now.

Harry had his head ducked, grinning as he turned his flame down, readying his potion to be collected and marked.

"Based on the way you express the inability to sit still in even the most calming activities, I assume you've sent off another one?" A voice drawled above the shaggy head.

Harry beamed up at the potions master, who scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Wanna see it?"

Severus rolled his eyes again. "If I say no, you will probably still show it. Personally, I don't see why you even bothered wearing your robes over it."

Harry giggled, his eyes sparkling. "Well, since you want to see it so bad, I guess I can oblige you."

Severus snorted as the brat shrugged off his robes. It appeared to be a comic in six blocks.

This is Severus.A small picture of a cartoon Severus scowling. Severus like coffee. A picture of a coffee cup bubbling with something inside as another cartoon of Severus stirred it with a tiny cauldron stirring rod. Severus shook his head. Severus likes Hogwarts. A picture of the castle with some sort of purple liquid gushing out of doors, windows, and leaking out of every crack. A few cartoon students ran out with mouths open in a silent scream. Severus likes the Headmaster. A picture of Dumbledore drinking a suspicious smoking green liquid while Severus hid behind the headmaster's chair, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Severus likes potions. Several potions spouted, bubbled, or streamed elegantly in the air as Severus stood in their midst, using a cauldron stirrer like a musical director's baton. Severus likes Harry Potter. Severus' eyebrows raised as a caricature of Severus ran out of the sixth block, chasing a cartoon Harry around the rest of the front of the T-shirt, weaving arouns several of the other blocks, with a vial of potions. Every once in a while, a talk bubble would appear over the cartoon Snape's head. "Get back here, Potter! It's time for your medicine!"

Severus smirked and tsked, gesturing for Harry to turn around. Harry happily complied. On the back of Harry's shirt was the face of the cartoon Severus, staring deviously around with his hands crossed below his face, a open vial fisted in each hand, as thought he was planning on using them to fight someone.

Never get in the way of the things Severus Snape likes...

As though sensing that Severus had read the words, the cartoon smirked in sadistic anticipation...

(toxic potion letters) OR ELSE!

Severus snorted again and cleared his throat. "So, how much are you charging for one?"

Harry and several other students looked at the potions master in shock. Was he actually planning on purchasing one?


Lockhart sailed across the dueling platform amongst cheers of the dueling club members.

"Go, Severus!" Harry shouted. "Whoo! Go! Severus, sexy! Severus, sexy!"

Severus froze as other students picked up the chant. For a moment he remembered another chant, many years ago.

Snivellus, greasy! Snivellus, greasy! Slowly, his memory was overlapped and outshouted by the present chanters. "Severus, sexy! Severus, sexy!" A small tinge of pink settled comfortably on his cheeks as the students chanted and cheered.

His lips twitched slightly as Lockhart got up, scowling jealously around at the students and at him. Nearly all students were chanting, even the ones from Slytherin.

"If I could have your attention, please," Lockhart said with what he believed to be a winning grin.




"LISTEN!" Lockhart roared.

"– SEXY –"

Severus shook his head, amused at their lack of response to Lockhart. "Alright, settle down," he drawled, and the crowd instantly quieted.

Lockhart looked taken aback by their instant compliance, his gaping expression triggering sniggers from the audience and a smirk from the formerly dour professor.

"Today, Forms One through Three will practice the Disarming Spell, Forms Four and Five will practice the Stunning and Shield Spell. Year Six will practice nonverbal casting of the Disarming spell, and NEWT students will practice wandless summoning of their wands."

Students nodded eagerly and set to work. Since the first disastrous meeting and the change that Severus unknowingly underwent, the students complied easily with his demands. Not even Draco Malfoy risked sabotaging people's potions in the class anymore.

Since the fan club and Harry's open endorsement of the man, the students all wanted his approval, his nod of praise.

He watched as Harry and Longbottom practiced with a tiny grimace. He worried that Longbottom would hurt Harry. The foolish boy wasn't know for being the best student in potions or other classes.

He watched as Harry stopped the boy, corrected the boy's wand movement, spoke encouragement, and stepped back.

"Expelliarmus!" Longbottom tried, and his own wand flew across the room, causing several people to duck.

Harry giggled. "That was great, Neville."

Neville blinked, raising his lowered head. "It was?"

Harry smiled. ""Course it was. Next time, try a smaller flourish with your wrist. With the amount of power you're putting into the spell, you don't need to move your wrist as much as the others."

Neville blinked again as Seamus handed him his wand. "Thanks, Harry." He said quietly. After a few more times, Neville managed to disarm Harry and knock him back a couple of feet.

"Perfect," Harry gasped as Severus and Neville rushed forward.

"Are you alright, Potter?" Severus asked, wincing as Harry yelped as he lightly pressed his side.

"I'm sorry!" Neville cried, tears forming in his eyes.

Severus raised a brow as he cast a diagnostic spell. "What are you apologizing for, Longbottom? Your execution of the Disarming Spell was flawless. Besides, it's just a bruised rib," he said as he handed Harry a bruise salve. "Easily handled."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said as he opened the bottle and began applying it.

Neville stared in astonishment, his eyes watering. "Thank you, sir," he choked.

Severus scoffed, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with the show of emotion. "Merlin. Are you sure you shouldn't be a Hufflepuff, Mister Longbottom?" He ribbed.

To, his surprise, Neville giggled through his tears.


Severus paused, looking over his shoulder suspiciously before he continued walking toward his destination, the Potions Shoppe in Hogsmeade, to pick up his order. After pruchasing and bagging his selections, he strode down the main road of the wizarding village before coming to a complete stop in front of a curly-haired, busty, strawberry blond-haired witch.

"Hello, love," the woman said with a sultry wink.

Severus swallowed, a tinge of pink on his pale face. "Madam," he said, mentally cursing himself for sounding unsure and shy.

The woman chuckled at his timidity. "Why don't you come inside? Your drinks are on the house."

As he sat, he could hardly believe it. Lily used to tease him about his appreciation of the then teenaged Rosmerta. When she had been alive, he tried his best to hide it, because he loved Lily more than some mere physical attraction to some random person he never talked to, other than to give drink orders to.

Severus stumbled toward the castle in a daze, his face dusted pink. His...whatever it was..with Rosmerta had been...interesting. The woman had been strangely fascinating, for a barmaid. He shook his head, his eyebrows lowering as he firmly scolded himself for liking another woman other than Lily. It was too much. Too fast. Too soon. As he stared at the ground in front of him, he never noticed the group of females stalking his lithe, black-covered form until they pounced.

Minutes later, a black-boxer-clad man wearing one black sock ran through the halls of Hogwarts, with various shades of red lip prints all over his pale body. Several students barely showed any reactions to their half-naked professor running down the halls, being chased by the squealing women, apparently desensitized to the routine. He slammed his portrait door closed, panting heavily, watching through the peep hole as several persistent witches bounced off Salazar's portrait.

A few moments later, once he had recovered enough breath –