A/N: Tyranno's girl here! With another one-shot since I am still procrastinating when it comes to my regular stories.

Deidara- She's lazy, un.

TG- *eye twitches* Oh really? Well, wouldn't you know? This fanfic stars you Dei-chan!

Deidara- Oh dear God, un! Not again!

TG- Yes. So without any further ado, here is the first installment of The Akatsuki Horror Series: Alice of Human Sacrifice.

Deidara- NOO!!!

TG- I don't own anything by Masashi Kishimoto, Yamaha, or Disney (just thought I'd throw that in there...)

Also… Yeah, um, I planned on writing this so that I could post it as a Halloween gift to . But I made the mistake of underestimating how fricken long it would take me to finish! That's why it's so late. My apologies to anybody who noticed.


Akatsuki Horror Series: Alice of Human Sacrifice

It would go on. Day by day, month by month. Today was no different. Deidara Azumoji sighed as he got on the school bus. He didn't want to go on this school field trip. But since it was for a grade, he had no choice. Deidara went to a prominent high school for young artists. Musical, culinary, fine, it didn't matter what the student was gifted at as long as it could be shown off. Deidara himself was quite the gifted young sculptor. Anytime that he moved clay in his hands, the product would be almost life-like in its beauty. But did that get the blonde any positive attention? Deidara looked up as he walked onto the bus. All around the other students glared, jeered, or laughed at him to his face. The blonde didn't even try to fight it as he sat next to one of the chaperones in the front of the bus.

You see, Deidara was from a single parent family; a sharp contrast to all the other students with their full families and their big mansions. Deidara had been lucky to get accepted into a special program for young aspiring artists from disadvantaged homes. And how the other students would remind Deidara of this fact every...

"Why don't you go back to your hovel, poser!"


"Oh? What's wrong, Deidara? Your dad spend all your food money on booze again?"


Just then, someone threw something at the blonde's head that exploded in a splash of pink on contact. The brunette teacher besides Deidara yelled back, "Hey, you little brats! Knock it off or I'll have the driver turn this bus around!" Deidara shook his head before quietly whispering,

"Its okay, Iruka-sensei. It's only..." The teen took some of his now-wet hair and sniffed it. "Strawberry milk, un..." Iruka sighed before digging into his backpack and pulling out a container of sanitized-wipes.

"Well, we'll get you cleaned up." Iruka took a wipe before handing the container to the blonde. Deidara sniffed before he began wiping his hair half-heartedly. He knew that it was only a matter of time before something else happened.


After hours' worth of driving, the class finally made it to their destination. "Here we are, boys and girls! The Emerald Forest!" The students all gasped in awe as they filed out of the bus and into the area around the bus. The school had sponsored a trip to one of the nearest and most beautiful natural locations, even if that meant a six hour bus drive, in order to surround the students with inspiration for their mid-terms. "Isn't it beautiful?" Iruka sighed dreamily as he let his chocolate eyes roam over the trees to the birds that were taking off in flight; startled by the strange noises that the new-comers made. "This is a beautiful opportunity for art. There are muses all around us, children and..."

Everyone began to tune the enthusiastic teacher out once the noticed who came out of the bus last. Deidara silently walked out of the bus and looked around. "It's gorgeous, un..." He breathed out as his cerulean eyes looked around. Suddenly, he gasped. He saw a girl who bore a striking resemblance to him and as soon as she looked over, he averted his gaze and thought. 'Ino-chan...' All throughout middle school, the two had been good friends. They had been drawn to each other by how similar they looked and, in those three years, were inseparable. Now, in the art high school, Ino had more than drifted away; more focused on her flower-arranging and her new friends. Deidara shook his head as he remembered all of that and began to walk away. Unfortunately, he bumped into someone. "Sorry, un..." The student wasn't satisfied with the apology.

"I don't believe you. First, just because you get some fancy scholarship, you think that you're just like the rest of us. Then you want to bump into people, you have some fucking nerve Blondie!" He pushed Deidara to the ground and gestured for the other classmates to come over. They discreetly walked over, lest they attract the brunette teacher's attention, smirking and snickering all the while. "Let's teach Blondie a lesson, huh?" Everyone laughed before they began to brutally torment the blonde teen: pulling his hair, kicking, punching, and pushing his face into the dirt and grass. Deidara tried to scream but he was muffled by a girl shoving grass into his mouth. Deidara felt like sobbing from the torment but then he saw Ino. The blonde girl was standing to the side with a pink-haired girl and a corn-yellow blonde with her hair up in four places. The other blonde, Tamari laughed,

"What a riot, huh Ino-chan?" Ino weakly smiled and replied,

"Yeah... A real riot." Deidara spat out the mess in his mouth and screamed bloody murder, which finally got Iruka's attention. The dolphin yelled,

"Deidara?!!", before running over and pushing the group away. He picked Deidara up and while dusting him off, asked, "Oh my God, are you okay?!" Deidara flinched. He was sure that he had a black eye, his face and clothes were covered in dirt, and his morale was decimated. He roughly pulled himself away and yelled,

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!! What the hell do any of you care, un?!" Then, before he could let tears fall, he bolted away from the group, deep into the woods.

"Deidara!" Ino called, running away from her friends to go after the blonde.

"Deidara, wait!" Iruka called as he followed.

Deidara shut his eyes as he ran through the forest, miraculously not hitting any trees. He was sobbing heavily and just wanted to get away. From his abusive drunk of a father, from his sell-out friends, from teachers who were forced to care. He couldn't take it anymore. He abruptly stopped running to wipe his stinging eyes. Then Deidara looked around himself. He had no idea where he was! The trees didn't look like the trees near the bus and there were strange animal sounds, not like normal birds anyway. "Oh great, un..." Deidara sniffled as he looked around for something familiar to no avail. "Oh... Maybe I should have just stayed and been tortured, un..." He whimpered.

'That wouldn't have been wise...' A voice said. Deidara gasped and almost fell to the floor.

"Wh-Who's there, un?!" He asked, his voice shaking besides himself.

'Walk forward, my child...' The voice continued. Deidara wanted to run so badly. Since when the hell could he hear voices in his head?! 'Forward...' Deidara clasped his hands over his ears, in hope that it would block the voice out.

"La, la, la! I can't hear you, un!"


"Stop it please, un!"


"Stop!" Suddenly,

'I'll stop when you follow my orders... Now move!' Deidara screamed as he blindly got up and ran, not knowing which direction he went in the least.

"Stop it, stop it, STOP IT, UN!" He screamed as he broke through a wall of trees and brush. He fell down with a yell and whined. "My head, un..." He rubbed his scalp a bit before opening his eyes. The sight he was welcomed by made him gasp and widen his eyes. It was a beautiful mansion tucked away in the woods. It was surrounded by walls of rose-bushes that made a maze around the building, various animals frolicking around, and a small brook. Deidara found himself walking towards the mansion, trying to take in everything at once. He thought that he had never seen anything more beautiful. That was until he heard footsteps coming from the building. He wanted to run, lest this person was the owner of this house and didn't like trespassers. However, once he saw the man, he froze.

The man had beautiful, short-cut, red hair and tree bark-brown eyes. He was dressed in a red and brown Victorian-style outfit, yet Deidara could see that it was made for the outdoors. He had a face like a prince and his expression was so calm and serene as he knelt by the brook and began to pick up what looked like various herbs. The red-head picked up two identical leaves and seemed to compare and contrast them before he put one down and stuffed the other into his pocket before he went back to work. Deidara simply watched the man work for what seemed like ages until the man stood up and was about to make his way back to the mansion. Suddenly, his eyes locked with Deidara's. They stood that way for a while, looking at each other until the red-head gasped at Deidara's appearance.

"Oh my-- Are you okay?!" He called as he ran over to the injured blonde. Deidara, who had all but forgotten that he was injured, finally remembered his bruises.

"Yeah, un. I'm fine..." The red-head made it over and Deidara could smell him as he inspected Deidara's body. He smelled of all sorts of herbs mixed together in a beautiful arrangement.

"Your beautiful body's all bruised up. Who could have done this to you?" The man asked his voice full of concern. Deidara eventually found the will to answer.

"It's nothing, un. I just... Well, I'm not very well liked and..." The blonde was cut off when the stranger came up closer and looked deep into his eyes. There was more silence between the two for a few minutes until the red-head pulled back and smiled warmly,

"My name's Sasori. If you would follow me, I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you feel better. Alright?"

He knew that he shouldn't. That maybe he should try and find his group. But this was one of the few times someone had been kind to him and it had felt real. Deidara followed the red-head into the mansion.


This was the life! Sasori had brought Deidara into the mansion, which was huge like a castle on the inside, and straight to a bedroom-like suite. He ran a warm bath and poured in herbs and such like chamomile and lavender which translated to a beautifully relaxing soak for the blonde. Sasori had excused himself before the blonde undressed and thus left the blonde to his own devices.

Deidara was so content, the smells of the tub soaking into his own body and he sighed in contentment, undoing his matted hair before he dipped under the sweet-smelling water. He stayed there for a minute before resurfacing; his blonde hair looking like liquid gold. "Mm... I could get used to this, un..." He moaned and dazedly looked to the side. There on the chair besides the tub were clean and pressed version of his original clothes. "Oh! Well that was nice, un." Deidara observed. After twenty more minutes, he decided to get out of the tub. Drying off with a nearby towel, which felt so lush and soft, he followed by drying his hair and then putting on the clothes. Then Deidara went to the mirror in the bathroom and as he began to put his hair up, he got quite a jolt at the sight in the mirror. His bruises, his black eye, it was all gone. "Wow, un..." He sighed. But nonetheless, he finished straightening up and walked out of the room.

When he got to the hallway, however, he realized that he was lost again. "UGH! I am so sick of being lost, un!" He walked down one way, then another, then another. The blonde was just bout to give up until he heard a chorus of laughter from down the hall besides him. He gulped before gathering up his courage and walking down the area. It wasn't long before he arrived at a door. It was very ornate and had carvings that depicted a spade, a diamond, a club, and a heart. The blonde passed it off as pretty and slowly opened the door.

In the room, there was a man with slicked-back white hair kneeling back on a wall one the far side of the room, with a fencing rapier in his hand. He was also dressed in a blood-red Victorian-style fencing-outfit.

Then, sitting on a couch near a window was a man with blue hair, black eyes, and held a violin in one hand while holding the stick (A/N: I don't know what it's called...) against his lips. He wore an ocean-blue Victorian musician's outfit; the white ruffles on the chest made it look all the more sophisticated.

In a grand chair in front of the room, was an exceptionally beautiful woman with azure hair up in a bun decorated with golden pins and flowers. She sat next to a small table, her violet Victorian-style dress hanging beautifully off of her. Her blue eyes had a smile in them as she drank some tea.

Finally, there were two young males standing and talking with each other in the side of the room. One was obviously younger, he had a shorter height and his ink-black hair was short and messy. He looked up at the taller male with wide brown eyes. The other male was slim and taller, quite pale and had long black hair. His brown eyes looked down at the younger, regarding every word that was spoken.

Everyone in here was actually quite attractive, Deidara noticed. He also noted that they were all smiling, as if in their own little worlds. He was doing a good job of not being noticed until he almost fell back when he tried leaning on the door. Everyone snapped up and looked at the intruding blonde. There were a few tense moments of silence before the blue-haired man chuckled,

"Hey, are you alright?" Deidara nervously nodded his head as he stood up. Then the woman in the chair smiled warmly and said,

"Well now, Deidara, are you feeling better?" Deidara gasped.

"H-How do you know my name, un?!" The woman giggled.

"Sasori told us. He will be joining us shortly so would you like to have a seat?" She waved to the open chair at the small table. Deidara was quite unsteady but the way the woman looked at him and spoke... He couldn't have possibly have refused. It was like she had… something that lured people to her. The blonde sat down in front of the woman and she began to speak again. "We should all introduce ourselves to our new friend. Shall we?" The albino glanced over and stated, holding up one of his fingers,

"Name's Hidan." Then the blue-haired man chuckled and held up two of his fingers.

"My name is Kisame; it's a pleasure to meet you." The woman put up three of her fingers and said,

"I am Konan." Then the two brunettes ran over and after putting up four fingers each, the younger said,

"Tobi's name is Tobi…" Then the taller finished,

"..And I'm Itachi." Itachi looked deep into Deidara's eyes, much like Sasori had earlier. But this time, something flashed in Deidara's mind. There was a hallway. Then various doors. And suddenly something that sounded like fine china crashing to the floor. Deidara was taken out of the weird thoughts when Itachi said, "It will be such a relief to have someone here who's just as pretty as me.", before grabbing Tobi's hand and walking over to Kisame.

"What was..?" Deidara was about to ask. Just then, the door opened to reveal Sasori. He was still in the clothes that Deidara had seen him in earlier but now he was pushing in a cart that had beautiful cakes, cookies, and a fine china tea-pot. The red-head noticed Deidara and smiled,

"Was the bath to your liking?" Deidara nodded as the cart was pushed to the table. When the red-head was setting the things on the table, Konan asked,

"We were just about to have a bit of afternoon tea. Would you care to join us?" Deidara suddenly realized just how hungry he was; he hadn't eaten breakfast this morning (there was nothing to eat). So he nodded,

"Yes please, un!" Everyone in the room cheered at that. Deidara didn't know why, but hell! This group was already eccentric with their old clothes and their mansion, who was he to judge. Sasori cut the cake and handed out slices to everyone. Then he began to pour out the tea. It had an… eerie type of smell, Deidara noted. Like something was trying to hide underneath the guise of the regular tea smell but it couldn't completely.

"This is Sasori's special blend of tea made using some of the special herbs that grow around here." Konan explained. Sasori handed a cup to Deidara before stating,

"I hope you enjoy it." Deidara thanked Sasori and ate a piece of the cake. It was delicious! The blonde made sure to take extra time to let the flavors of the confection grace his tongue. He took another bite... and another… and soon he realized that he had finished it before Konan had even gotten halfway. He groaned,

"I'm so sorry, un! I'm such a pig…" Konan laughed,

"Nonsense. Here, Sasori, give him another piece please." The red-head followed the command and Deidara bowed his head slightly in thanks. Then, he picked up his tea-cup. He didn't notice it but everyone had stopped whatever they were doing in order to stare at him. He smelled it once again before taking a sip.

There was a sudden falling; a sinking sensation that made him flinch for a minute.

Deidara shook it off, however, and drank the cup down. It actually tasted a lot better than it smelled, it seemed. Like something rare and sweet. Something that you can only get once. He finished the tea and gasped, "Wow, un." Konan was looking down and stifling back giggles, from what, Deidara didn't know because it looked like the woman was in hysterics.

"It seems that… you, ha ha... Liked it!" Deidara smiled.

"Mm-hm! Is there any left?" Sasori didn't even have to be told to pour the boy another cup. But after he did, he stayed besides the table and asked,

"What is your favorite color?" Deidara blinked but nonetheless answered,

"Beige, un. But why did you need to..?" The door opened again. Little did Deidara know that he was about to get an answer to his question. But whether or not he would like the answer, that was the question. The figure who walked in had spiky orange hair, smoky gray eyes, and a stern look. His clothes had to be the most regal out of everyone's in the room: they were black and red robes with silver trimming and he had piercings in the bridge of his nose and in his ears of the same color. Deidara shivered at the sight of the man. Something about him made the blonde want to bow down or something. But it wasn't until he heard everyone in the room say,

"Pein-sama.", that he got a little scared. The man nodded, acknowledging the greeting and then looked straight at Deidara, causing him to feel like a deer caught in a couple of ashen-gray headlights.

"Who is this?" He asked and, God did his voice sound cold. Konan laughed before Deidara could say anything,

"His name is Deidara Azumoji. And he's our fifth Alice." Deidara asked,

"Wait- What? Who or what is an Alice?" Hidan laughed out,

"Hey kid! It's not that bad, just roll with it!" Kisame chuckled,

"It'll all be over with soon." Tobi cheered.

"But it's really fun, so don't worry!" Deidara shook his head.

"But I still don't understand. Who are all you people? What are you doing here in the middle of the woods?!" They all seemed to ignore him, except for Pein who raised his hand: signaling for everyone to quiet down. Deidara looked to the red-head and asked, "What is this, Sasori." The red-head smiled in response, cooing,

"It will be fine, Deidara. Just drink your tea." pushing the cup to the blonde. Deidara was getting scared now. But rather than make anyone angry by refusing the hospitality, he took the cup into his hands.

"Deidara." Pein began. "Allow us to relay to you a small tale about me, this mansion, and, of course, the Alices." He waved his hand and said, "Begin." Hidan's voice began,

"There was once a man who studied all religions in the world, looking for the answer to life." Kisame continued,

"All his intensive studies had revealed to him is that unless you control things, you have no place in this world." Konan's voice flowed through the room,

"So the man decided that he wanted to be a god. Who but a god could control the world and make it what he desired most? But how could he do such a thing?" Tobi cheered,

"So the man traveled near and far and one day found a new world where he could be whatever he wanted. Duke, king, god..! It was his oyster! But…" The boy's voice lowered a bit. "As we all know, in order to be a god, you need followers." Itachi's voice said the final part of the tale,

"He decided: 'I will lure people to me and they will be my followers. Their hearts, souls, and blood shall be the foundation for my new world.'" Deidara was quiet. That story had been very... cryptic. He gulped and said,

"Well, un... That was very interesting but maybe I should... AAH!!" He turned around and was met with an unnerving sight. Everyone was watching him; a collective predatory-look on their faces. "Un... Are you guys... Alright?" He asked, cringing back into his seat.

"Oh, we're fine, Dei-chan..." Hidan replied in a voice that sounded so much like a purr. His eyes, which were simply pink at first, were now cat-like dilated ruby orbs. Kisame's voice floated over,

"You'll see that everything's fine." The blonde glanced to the blunette and saw that his eyes were dilated too; like that of a shark.

"Kisame?" He gasped as he saw the man's changed appearance. "Wait! What is this?!" Deidara gasped as he saw that all of his hosts were looking more and more monstrous... demonic almost. Kisame waved a hand and a flourish of music arose. It was lively, classical, and... almost bouncy. The blonde could tell that it was meant to be a joyous song but with the strange people around him and the fact that he didn't know where the music came from, the blonde was extremely creeped out. Hidan walked to the middle of the room and, out of nowhere started dancing. It was like a strange mixture of ballroom dance and sword moves with his rapier. His dancing was so in tune with the music, it was almost hypnotizing. Deidara was only brought out of the albino's spell when he began to sing,

"The first Alice was a gallant lad in red...", then to tell his tale...


A blood-curdling scream rang out through a small village. Immediately, people began to file out of their own homes to see what the commotion was. They all surrounded a certain house where the screams and cries were originating from and waited. This had happened on each consecutive night, it seemed. They just had to wait for whoever was causing it to come out and reveal themselves.

The screams abruptly stopped with sickening snap. Then... silence. It was so quiet; you could have heard the heartbeat of the person next to you.

"YA! HA HA HA!!" A loud voice screeched into the air before something jumped out of the window, seemingly not at all affected by the glass. The villagers stepped away when the figure landed in front of them. He chuckled before standing up: A short-haired albino with blood-stained clothes and holding a sword that was drenched with crimson. Wild magenta eyes whipped around and the figure cackled, "AH HA HA HA!! So, you think that you all can capture the rogue knight, Hidan?! Don't make me laugh, AH HA HA!" All at once, the men of the village leaped at Hidan; torches and pitchforks in hand. Hidan scoffed and, quicker than a panther, had slain all of those who were after him and the women and children who had accompanied them. Now the albino was drenched in blood from head to toe and laughing like a madman. His cackles rose up into the air, hanging up their amongst the clouds.

A while later, Hidan found himself walking away from the village he had decimated and into a strange path. He was too busy coming down from the high that he was on from stealing the lives of all those people that he hadn't even noticed the landscape changing around him. "People are so weak. It's so beautiful to feel their life slipping away and knowing that you were the cause..." Hidan moaned as he walked on, in his own little world. His thoughts were suddenly broken by a chiming laugh. Then another. Then more. Hidan scowled as he looked up and around. But then he gasped. "Where the hell am I?!" He frantically looked around himself. He had just been in a rural village, how the hell did he wind up in a city? Granted, it was a beautiful city with sparkling buildings and paved roads.

Hidan walked down the street, taking everything in, slightly enjoying his little tour. Until he saw them... Little... pudgy... soft... weak! A large group of children were playing in the street: tossing a ball, making flower wreaths, playing with dolls and toy horses. Hidan began breathing hard; his heart was racing and his eyes narrowed as he watched the children. Or, as he referred to them as, little sacks of spineless, worthless, weak-willed shit. He hissed deep in his throat and clenched his teeth. He hadn't planned on doing away with anymore... garbage today. But then, a voice asked,

'Hidan, don't you think that the walls of these buildings would look so much better... red?' Hidan smirked and picked up his sword.

"Hell, I don't know who you are, but a damn good idea is a damn good idea!" He charged towards the children, sword high, and yelled, "Get over here and meet your maker, you little worms!!!" The children all screamed in terror as Hidan went on a rampage: slitting innocent young throats, slamming frail bodies to the floor, cracking skulls, snapping necks... Hidan was in rapture as he cut down small life after small life. It was weird, he was a murderer, but it had never felt this good before.

He was just about to kill a small girl when there was a harsh whistle; drowned out by the blood rushing in Hidan's ears. Yet, just before he stabbed the girl in the heart, he was tackled down to the ground by soldiers. "AGH! What the hell?! Let go of me, ya shit-eating maggots!!" The soldiers didn't respond as they tied Hidan up and began to drag him to the forest that was just on the outskirts of the city. When the albino saw the dense mass of trees, he chuckled, "What's this then? Too dead-poor to afford a decent prison after building your over-grown dollhouse of a city?" The soldiers were still quiet until they made to the front of the forest. Then, with all the force they could muster, they promptly shoved Hidan inside.

Hidan coughed as he made contact with the forest-floor. Brushing himself off, he stood up and surveyed his surroundings. The trees in the forest were extremely close together and their branches came together and covered the view of the sky so it was like no light could penetrate to the ground. Hidan scoffed; he didn't know if this was supposed to scare him or not but he was a murderer, he didn't scare easily. "Stupid bastards trying to scare me." He turned to where he thought he was thrown in from and yelled, "I've broken out of bathrooms that were scarier than this!" It was just then that he noticed that he still had his sword. The albino smirked and added, "And people say that I'm stupid one!" He walked back a few steps and withdrew his sword. Then, with a yell, he charged at the trees and swung.

He instantly recoiled as if he had hit a brick wall. Falling back, he shook his head and whispered, "The hell?" He stood up and swung at the trees again, getting the same result. After about an hour of doing the same thing with repeated results, Hidan found that he had to take a break from exhaustion. "Fucking… stupid… trees…" He panted. Hidan stood up and looked around himself again. "Now where did they..?" He whipped his head to the left, then the right. But found he couldn't see where the soldiers had thrown him in from anymore. "Shit!" He hissed. He picked up his sword and began walking through the trees. "I'll find my way out of here, damn it! I don't any help from any bastards!!"

Five hours later, we find a very frantic Hidan running through the forest, panting and heaving as his feet met the ground. His magenta eyes were wide and frenzied and he had broken out in to a cold sweat as he ran up to one wall of trees... "This is fucking insane!" He gasped as it felt like the walls were closing in on him. He ran to another area and tried swing his sword again, just to have it recoil again. "Cut, damn you, CUT!!" He yelled at his blade and ran off again. Hidan ran... and ran... and ran, trying to find a way out of this tormenting prison. At first, it hadn't seemed so bad; a bit quiet, but nothing much. But then the voice spoke up. It wasn't the voice that had spoken to him earlier. Rather, it was a deep, hoarse voice that reverberated all throughout the forest and deep into the albino's soul. And this voice didn't say anything either... It sang:

"The first Alice was a gallant lad in red...

He wandered, sword swinging, into this Wonderland...

Then his crimes caught up and he was thrown into this wood...

What happened next is not clearly understood..."

It would repeat: Over and over, each time more ghastly than the last. Hidan crouched down into a fetal position as the melody was repeated for the sixth time and began actually sobbing, "SHUT UP! GOD-DAMN IT, PLEASE, SHUT UP!!! The albino was clutching at his sword and rocking himself back and forth, the melody still going on. Hidan was whispering, "Please shut up, please shut up, please shut up..!" with his eyes clenched shut so he didn't notice the footsteps coming towards him. The albino didn't notice that the singing faded until he felt the presence of someone in front of him. Immediately, he grabbed for his sword and let out a feral yell.

"Stop." A voice said. And, amazingly, Hidan did just that while letting his eyes take in the sight in front of him. It was a tall man with tanned skin and ragged brown hair. His face was set in a stony frown and Hidan noticed the stitched-scar that ran across his face. Emerald green eyes looked down at him as the figure spoke, "Like a stray cat... Hey," He poked Hidan. "You alright?" Hidan abruptly found the will to move again and began to yell,

"Like Hell I am!! I'm trapped in this shitty forest, with no food, light, water, or any life around for ages, and...!" The brunette held up a hand and he rumbled,

"You're wrong about the life thing, just so you know." He stood and stated, "My name is..."


Deidara yelped as he took something in. As Hidan danced, his shadow began to move. It winded and swelled until it took a taller form than the albino. Then, even as Hidan kept on dancing, the shadow stood still. It then peeled up from the wall and floor and stood besides Hidan. It filled out; creating a brawny figure with ragged hair. When it was done growing, the shadow cleared its throat and the shadowy cover dropped. Deidara gasped. The man looked just like the one Hidan had been talking about during his little dance. The new figure made a closing motion with his hand and Hidan quieted down immediately. Then he began to speak...


"..Kakuzu. I'm a prisoner in here too but, unlike you, I've found a way to thrive here." Hidan pouted and huffed,

"Well, isn't that nice for you? Look, I'm just trying to find a way out of this shit-hole and..."

"There is no way out." Kakuzu replied. But then he stopped and thought for a second. "Well... There is one. But I'm not sure that that's how you would want to leave this place." Hidan scoffed and chuckled,

"I'm pretty sure that anything is better than being cooped up in this place!" Kakuzu shook his head before walking away. "Hey! Where the hell are you off to?!" The albino picked up his blade and ran after the brunette man. Kakuzu glanced back discreetly and saw that the albino was following him.

'Perfect...' He thought to himself. He spoke up, "You'll need to set up your own shelter. I take you to a place in this forest where a small amount of light reaches. That's where my home is located." Hidan's ears twitched and he smiled.

"Your house? So, you would have all the necessities: Food, shelter, water?" Kakuzu nodded,

"There's actually a pond near it so the water issue is taken care of." Hidan smirked to himself.

'Well, it isn't a total loss. I'll just kill tall, dark, and gruesome here and take his shelter. Someone will have to note when he's gone sooner or later...' The albino held back a snicker after formulating his little plan. After what seemed like ages of quiet walking, Kakuzu stopped.

"Here it is." Hidan looked from behind the man's shoulder and gasped.

"Wait, what the hell is this?!" They were in a large, empty clearing. "You son of a bitch, what are you trying to pull?!!" Hidan jumped back a few steps and brandished his sword. Just then, Kakuzu's shoulders began to shiver. "What now? Are you fucking cold or something?" Then there was a growing chuckle. Hidan gulped. Then, Kakuzu began to slowly turn around and then Hidan had to bite his own tongue to keep himself from screaming. Kakuzu's emerald eyes were dilated like some kind of monster. He spoke up, rows of sharp teeth being revealed with every word.

"Now, Hidan..." Hidan flinched. He never told this bastard his name! "Why so timid? Were you not just thinking of killing me a minute ago?" Kakuzu chuckled. "Where did your roaring fire go?" Hidan hissed over,

"I still have it, you asshole! In fact," He charged over, "See for yourself!!!" He yelled as he swung his sword.

Hidan fell to the ground with and grunt. He immediately looked around and saw that there was no one there; he was alone again. He breathing began to quicken and he clenched his sword all the tighter. "Hello?" He called.

There was no answer.

"Anyone there?"


"Kaku-- AAGGHH!!!"(1) Hidan screamed in agony as a giant, black, sharp thread came from nowhere and dug itself into his back. "OH GOD! AGH!!!" Hidan continued to scream as it picked him up and slammed against the ground not once, but twice and then held him up in the air. Hidan panted and looked around with wide, fear-filled eyes. There was an agonizing silence before another thread appeared and shot into one of Hidan's arms. Then another came and did the same with the other. "STOP!! WHOEVER YOU ARE, STOP!!!" Hidan screamed again in pain. Suddenly, two more of the threads came and ripped into his legs. Hidan wailed into the sky for a long time, the threads twitching in response to each miniscule movement by the albino. Hidan was sniffling, trying desperately to hold back any signs of weakness. Suddenly,

"The first Alice was a gallant lad in red..." Hidan's magenta eyes widened as those haunting words drifted into the air. He dared to look down and was greeted by the sight of Kakuzu standing on the ground. However, now the brunette was dressed in a black Victorian-style suit and had black threads crawling all over him, as if they were pets.

"Kakuzu..." Hidan whimpered.

"He wandered, sword swinging, into this Wonderland..." Kakuzu sang, petting one of the threads, a smirk growing on his face. Hidan groaned in horror as the threads tightened. Looking up, Kakuzu sang out, "Then his crimes caught up and he was thrown into this wood..." Hidan shook his head slowly, panting

"No... No, I... Didn't mean it, honest..." Kakuzu shook his head and sang, very slowly,

"What happened next is... not... clearly... understood..." Hidan choked, tears beginning to run down his sweaty face. Kakuzu scoffed, "Yes, cry out, Hidan! Feel the pain that you've caused to hundreds, nay, thousands of people!!" Hidan sobbed,

"PLEASE! I didn't mean it! I just-- AGH!" One of the threads breached the albino's skin and dug bag in. Upon being able to breathe again, he screeched, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!" Kakuzu laughed,

"Oh! It isn't?! Who was the one slaughtering all those innocent young lives, Hidan? Cause," He chuckled, "It certainly wasn't ME!" Kakuzu clenched his fist and the threads got tighter throughout Hidan's body. The albino coughed and shed new tears as he tasted blood in his mouth. Kakuzu smiled, "Prepare to feel the wrath of god, Hidan..."

"NOO!!" Hidan screamed. "Please, STOP IT!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING! Just please, DON'T KILL ME!!!" Kakuzu stopped in his tracks. Hidan had his eyes shut fast when the threads were constricting. He opened them to see Kakuzu standing and singing,

"He suddenly found himself on an eerie trail...

Akin to a boat on a stormy sea without a sail..."

The brunette looked up and commanded, "Say that you will become an Alice." Hidan flinched and his eyes widened.

'Who or what the hell is an Alice?!' He thought but upon seeing the man ready to clench his hands again, he nodded furiously. "YES! YES, ANYTHING!!!" Kakuzu smirked again and gestured for the threads to lower the albino down. Hidan began to sigh with relief through his panting. "Thank you. I truly mean it, thank you!!" Kakuzu didn't respond. Hidan watched on as the brunette held up a hand and the nails on it extended into claws. Hidan flinched but he asked, "Are you... Are you going to cut me down now?" Kakuzu smiled an eerily warm smile and replied,

"No." Hidan looked to the left then the right before asking,

"Then what are you doing?" Kakuzu shook his hands but replied, laughing.

"Hidan... Do you know what must happen before one becomes an Alice?" Hidan shook his head slowly. Kakuzu's smile grew. "You... Have to die a most horrible death!!" Hidan didn't even get a chance to retort before Kakuzu's clawed hand dug into his chest and crushed his heart. Hidan choked, coughing up some blood before his body went limp; his eyes still wide in shock. Kakuzu withdrew his hand and brought it to his face. He licked at it and then kissed Hidan's forehead. Looking at the puddle of blood that was pouring from the albino body to the ground, he sang, "If it weren't for the bloody path that he made..."

Something drew a picture on Hidan's lifelessly swinging hand. It was a spade made out of blood.


"No one would have believed that he ever existed!" Kakuzu and Hidan ended their story with the last line of the song. Deidara was trying as hard as he could to sink into his seat and convince himself that this wasn't happening. But when he saw Hidan's ears grow into a longer, more feline shape, his mouth grow fangs, his hair get wild, and the white tail that now swung from behind the albino; he was about ready to faint. Kakuzu's new claws and demonic-looking eyes didn't help either.

"But, I stopped being a murderer, so it all worked out!" Hidan mewled, Kakuzu rubbing him behind the ears. Deidara was scared almost-stiff so he just silently nodded in response. Then, Kisame stood up from the couch and snapped his fingers. A violin appeared in his hand and he began to play it immediately. Deidara couldn't help but notice that there was also a piano and an accordion playing along in the background. Kisame looked dead-on at Deidara, his eyes sharp and hungry, as he sang,

"The second Alice was an artist with the blues..."


"Aaahh!" A young man groaned loudly into the air as he walked into a forest. Kisame Hoshigaki was a much respected musician for the royal court. His songs and symphonies were much liked throughout the kingdom in which he lived. The blue-haired man sighed again. But did that mean that people were offering him work? No! Did that stop people calling him a hack because his music wasn't as current as it should be? Of course not!

"Did that stop my wife from leaving me?! No! Grr…" He grimaced with a growl. His beloved wife, who he had devoted his whole life to making happy. Despite all that he did, she ran off… With their butler of all people! He was currently taking a type of vacation in order to find some inspiration. Something that would get people listening to his music again. So he had chosen a forest that was not too far from his home city and vowed not to come out until he had something truly great to present to everyone.

"I'll show them who the hack is!" He yelled to the heavens, vowing what he said.

Hours later… "Oh… What am I doing here?" Kisame groaned as he walked down a path, violin to his chin in the playing-position but not doing anything. His plan had been a failure! All he had succeeded in doing was ruining his clothes by falling into a river that he hadn't seen, losing track of his belongings, and threatening to kill some of the pesky animals that had been interrupting his work. "Oh to hell with it!" He groaned, "I'm going home!" Suddenly,

'Oh don't give up now… Just listen to the back of your mind and I'm sure you'll hear a song forming...'

Kisame jumped when he heard the voice. "Who's there? I'm sorry for disturbing you if I did, but…" Kisame stopped. He heard something else. It was very faint at first and Kisame wasn't sure what exactly he was hearing. It sounded like music; someone singing. But it grew. And grew. Until Kisame had no choice but to position himself and begin playing along. It was beautiful, Kisame thought as he moved the stick across the violin. A strange melody that he had never heard before but as he played it felt as if he had known it all his life. Then the words appeared in his mind and he had no choice but to sing.

'The second Alice was an artist with the blues…

Wandering the Wonderland, trying to find a muse…

He discovered that there was great power in his words…

He wanted to use it to create his perfect world…'

There was a giggle besides him. Kisame gasped and stopped playing to look besides himself. There stood a pretty young woman looking up at him with shining eyes. He, after stammering for a bit, found the will to say, "Well, hello there." The girl giggled again before saying,

"Well hello to yourself!" She then turned her gaze to the man's violin and asked, "What song was that? It sounded so sad yet so beautiful…" Kisame shook his head,

"It was nothing, I…" He stopped. "Did you say it was beautiful?" The girl nodded,

"Of course! In fact," She stepped back and then Kisame saw that he was no longer in the forest that he had walked into that morning. It was a large city with everything classical and made of white stone. He noticed that there were some flecks of red here and there, but paid it no mind.

There was a murmuring as people started to walk over and surround the man and the girl. When there was a medium-sized group, the girl turned and smiled, "Please! Sing again!" Kisame nodded and instantly began to play.

'The second Alice was an artist with the blues…

Wandering the Wonderland, trying to find a muse…

He discovered that there was great power in his words…

He wanted to use it to create his perfect world…'

People gasped and clapped in awe. Some cheered, "A masterpiece!"

"True art!"

"Almost god-like!"

Kisame smirked and answered, "It's really nothing. I'm just a musician of the royal court and…"

"Oh!" The girl exclaimed. "So you're even more special than we thought! Come on everyone, we must give our most special guest our loving hospitality!" Everyone cheered and, before Kisame knew it, he had been brought to a giant mansion. "Here we are, Kisame!" Kisame was immediately taken in by the sight.

"So, is there a room for musicians or something?" Everyone laughed, causing him to turn and look at them questioningly. "What?" The girl walked up to the man and stated,

"This mansion is yours, Kisame!" Kisame's eyes widened and he did a double-take before asking,

"You all can't be serious?!" The girl laughed again, that bright smile still on her face,

"Yes! Anything you want, Kisame!" She held out her hands. "In this world, as long as you still make that beautiful music, it's yours!!" Kisame simply stood there, trying to take everything in. His mind was filled with questions: When did he tell this girl his name? Why did everyone here have those smiles on their faces? What did she mean by 'this world'? He could have asked but suddenly he felt the girl's hands encompass one of his own. He looked down and saw here gazing up at him. She whispered, a slight blush growing on her face, "Anything you want, Kisame… It will be yours." The blue-haired man decided that questions could wait.

It was true. All Kisame had to do was play even the most miniscule note and the citizens of this city would give him anything his heart desired. Food, wine, women (or men, he didn't have a preference)… Well, it was actually only person who he would allow to be close to him. It was that same girl that had introduced him to the city when he first got there. She would take him on tours, go shopping for him, even feed him if he wanted. The girl, like everyone else, was completely subservient to Kisame. And it was paradise.

For about all of a month.

It was to be the thirty-first day that Kisame would have spent in the city. And he was sick of it!! The always having his favorite foods cooked to perfection, the never-changing perfect mansion, the smiling faces of the citizens, their subservience. Ugh… Just the thought was making him sick! Kisame was so bored that he didn't know what to do with himself. He had just eaten breakfast a few hours ago and there was nothing he wanted to do. He picked up the gold-plated violin that the city had given him and played a few notes before calling, "Jira!" Almost immediately, the girl he had dubbed his companion walked in; that beaming smile on her face.

"You called, Kisame?"

"I'm bored." The man replied. Jira hummed.

"Hm… Well," She sat down on the couch in Kisame's room. "We could go for a walk."

"We did that yesterday."

"How about shopping?"

"We did that last night."


"I always catch the biggest fish. It doesn't amuse me." Kisame huffed, standing up from his lounge chair. Jira's smile didn't waver as she followed Kisame out of the room.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked. Kisame shook his head,

"No, everything here is perfect." Jira sighed.

"That's good. I-" Kisame snapped,

"NO! That's not good! Nothing is supposed to be perfect day in day out! It gets boring and damned near unlivable!!" Jira shook her head, still smiling,

"I don't understand. This is your world Kisame. It's perfect. If something's making you unhappy then tell me and I'll make it better." Kisame growled and began to walk away. Jira shrugged and followed after. Kisame was so tired of this! Nothing ever happened. No problems, no visitors, no…

"Jira." He stopped at the head of the staircase. Jira replied,

"Yes Kisame?" Kisame looked at the girl, long and hard, before he asked,

"Why haven't I heard of anyone dying here? Or at least falling ill?" Jira tilted her head then said something that made Kisame flinch and visibly stiffen.

"Ill? Dying? What are those?" Kisame shook his head.

"Wait, wait, wait! You don't know what death is?"

"Is that a new language?" Jira asked, trying to comprehend what Kisame was talking about.

"Death is…" Kisame began but realized that not even he knew how to properly explain it. "It's when…" Jira laughed.

"Well if you don't know then it really isn't needed, is it?" Kisame silently looked at the girl then the stairs then the girl again. No, it was needed. In fact, it may have been just the thing Kisame had been looking for. Something to give him a muse. He walked up to Jira and placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to say, "Oh! Do you want sex again? Well, let's go to the bedroom and..." Kisame shoved.

Jira's flew down the ornate staircase. There were a series of sickening cracks whenever she would make contact with the ground, and it was a long staircase so there were many of them. After what seemed like forever, Jira's body finally landed on the bottom floor, quiet and still. Kisame laughed to himself. "That's better." He smiled before he walked down the stairs to see his handy-work.

Yet when he got there, his blood ran cold. Her neck had snapped, her head lolling to the side, her arm was twisted and her leg was broken. But Jira was getting up. Kisame watched on, horrified, as her body began to fuse back together with the most sickening snaps and groans that he had ever heard. When she was done, she looked as she did when they had first met. She looked up and smiled, "Was that to your liking, Kisame?" Kisame bolted out the door, not even noticing if the girl was following him or not.

As he ran, the citizens looked up from whatever they were doing to ask, "Did you need something?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Play a game of cards?"

Kisame ignored all of them; simply trying to get away from these people. No, these things. He smiled thankfully when he got to the edge of the city and actually sped up. He only blinked once. And then there was a white brick wall. He skidded to a halt and slammed his hands on the wall. "No… NO! This wasn't here!" Abruptly, from behind him.

"Kisame?" He turned and saw the villagers looking at him with those accursed smiles. "You weren't about to leave were you?" Jira continued, "Why would you want to leave a paradise such as this?" Kisame shook his head,

"This isn't a paradise! IT'S HELL!!!" Jira tilted her head,

"Hell, what's that?" Kisame groaned and sank to the floor. He knew one thing. He couldn't take it. He would either go insane, if he hadn't already, or he would… Suddenly, his eyes landed on a city guard. On his belt there was a gun holster with one of the weapons inside. Kisame smiled wildly and stood up. He addressed the citizens and said,

"You poor pathetic fools… You probably don't even know the color of the blood that stopped running here years ago…" Just as Jira was about to ask what blood was, Kisame bolted over to the guard and shoved him to the ground, taking his gun. He cocked the weapon and position it between his eyes. Suddenly, music came to his ears,

'This Alice found a true paradise…

One that wasn't meant for such impure eyes…'

He smiled madly and yelled, "Do you all want to know what blood is?!! Well here, TAKE A LOOK!!!" There was a sound of thunder and a splash of red on the wall. Then Kisame's lifeless body slumped to the floor. All was silent. The citizens didn't say a word. Then, Jira's smile grew wide and she gasped,

"How… Beautiful! Blood is beautiful!!!" All the citizens crowded around the deceased artist and sang the praises of the new beauty that he had bestowed unto them. As they all fawned over the body, someone came up and sang,

'He was shot by a cross-eyed man…' Before carving a diamond onto one of the dead man's hands.


"And he was admired by all as he died." Kisame finished singing. His body had turned blue during the course of his story, and his beneath his eyes there were gill-like marks. He smiled widely, exposing razor-sharp teeth and spoke. "I'm much happier now, so it all worked out." Deidara inwardly groaned at the creature talking to him. He wanted to leave but just before he could ask, Konan sang, her eyes looking vicious,

"The third Alice was a beauty but so vain…"


Konan was a beautiful woman who graced paintings far and wide. Artists all over the world shelled out thousands for the honor of being able to use her visage in their work. But alas, as it usually does, all that beauty and praise went to her head and she soon became hot-tempered, vain, spoiled, and a hellish nightmare to work with.

"I only drink water from mountain springs when I model!! Either get that through your thick skulls or I am walking right off this session!" She yelled at the two artists who had made the mistake of wanting to capture her beauty. But, rather than bowing to her whims, one of the artists yelled back,

"Fine then, leave! The only thing that I'll regret is having paid you in advance, you prudish whore!" Konan's eyes widened and then narrowed as she hissed,

"How dare you?! I'll make sure that you two never get work again!!!" She got dressed and stomped out of the room, slamming the door. "The nerve of some people!" She huffed as she walked down the street. "Denying me, Konan, her basic needs! They're just lucky that I was feeling so gracious today…" A school-girl ran up and asked,

"Could I get an autograph, Miss Konan?"

"BITE ME!" The woman yelled and continued on her way. "I don't get it. Why is everyone acting so mean now of days? Especially to a great beauty such as myself?" She walked by a store window and then stopped. She gazed at her reflection and sighed dreamily, "If only there was a way to make me even more beautiful. Then no one would try to defy me my will." The wind blew and with it came a voice,

'The third Alice was a beauty but so vain,

To extend her looks she came to this wondrous plain…'

Konan blinked. That was… weird. But it got the woman thinking. "Wondrous plain, huh? Well then, If it'll make me more beautiful, I have a trip to take!"

Konan really didn't know where she was going but her vanity and pride urged her on towards her goal of ultimate beauty. She one day was walking along a path in the middle of a field. "I wonder…" Suddenly, she saw a sign that read, 'Wonderland'. "Hm… It's a stretch but, I'll take it!" She ran forward in the direction that the sign indicated.

"Oh my…" She whispered as she saw her location. It was a large white town with a giant castle right in the middle of it. She gazed at the castle and sighed, "Wow! That castle is almost as beautiful as me! I want it!" Suddenly the town-goers saw Konan.

'Everyone gazed at this young beauty renowned...'

It was quiet for a moment until someone stated,

"She's beautiful!" Konan blushed. She knew it was true but it was always great to hear it. The villagers crowded around her and began showering her with praise. "How gorgeous!"

"You're like an angel!"

"So pure and elegant!"

Konan smirked and sighed, "Well, all this is true. But tell me, where can I find the owner if that castle over yonder?" The villagers looked and nodded collectively before picking up Konan and carrying her towards the castle. "Wow, you all sure know how to make a girl feel special!" She cheered.

Konan soon found herself inside the castle and in front of the two thrones in the throne-room. She looked around and huffed, "Well, I see two pretty chairs that I want to sit on but no one's here." She pouted and huffed, "So rude!" Just then, a trumpet sounded and then a man walked in. He had beautiful flowing robes of red and black and spiked orange hair. He walked up to one of the chairs and sat down before letting his eyes land on Konan's frame. He surveyed her body for a good long time before he smirked and stated,

"Beautiful." Konan blushed. She didn't know why but those words had never sounded more special than they did coming from this man. "Good day, my fair lady." The man greeted. "I hope that my people have made you feel most loved and appreciated." Konan giggled and answered,

"Well, they..." The was a large, collective dropping sound and Konan looked behind her to see that all the citizens had dropped to their knees and were bowing to Konan. "They certainly try their best." The man in front smiled,

"Good. I wouldn't want my new queen feeling uncomfortable." Konan blinked and then scoffed,

"Excuse me? When did I ever agree to anybody's queen? I just came here to find the secret to becoming more beautiful!" The orange-haired man tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow. He then asked,

"Why? You're already one of the most beautiful people that I've ever seen." Konan smiled and retorted,

"But am I the most beautiful? No. So I demand to know the secret!" She stomped her foot to the ground, much resembling an immature toddler. "Tell me now!" She stomped again and looked at the floor. It was just then that she realized that she had on the most exquisite crystal shoes. She looked at herself the best she could and saw that her whole outfit had changed into that of a regal queen. "What is this?" She gasped but when she felt the fabric she twirled and chimed, "Now this is worthy of a beauty such as myself!" The King smiled and stated,

"And there is only more, including what you think you seek. That is, if you were to become my queen."

'And soon their King, a new queen had found...'

Konan didn't even think for a second before she replied,

"Of course!" The King laughed,

"Excellent! Oh, but just one thing, Konan." Konan frowned,

"What is it?! Just give the crown and the fancy clothes already!" The King stated, very solemnly,

"While you are my queen, you must vow never to look in this mirror." The orange-haired man held out a beautiful golden, jewel-encrusted mirror.

"Ooh... Pretty!" Konan cooed. The King pulled it away and said,

"Do you vow, Konan?" Konan nodded, causing the King to place the mirror in her hands. He then walked off to make wedding arrangements, his new queen not noticing the malicious smirk on his face.

As the days went by, Konan got adjusted to the royal swing of things. It didn't seem like she had to do anything but wake up, bathe in her own hot spring, get dressed in more beautiful clothes, and sit on her throne besides the King's. She didn't have to get up, everything was brought to her: food, entertainment, and she constantly had companionship in the form of the young servant that the King had gotten for her. "You! Red-haired one!" The servant with the short-cut hair and warm brown eyes walked up to the throne, asking,

"Yes, your majesty?"

"I'm bored! And a beauty like me shouldn't be bored! Go fetch me a jester." The servant bowed and was off. Konan sighed and relaxed back into her chair. "A great beauty such as myself could get used to this..."

So it went on. Days passed into weeks. Weeks melted into months. And months grew into years. Konan not being bothered with the scheme of things. She didn't even notice that time was still going on in this Wonderland.

Until one morning...

Konan was sitting in her throne, reading a book that her servant had gotten her and not caring about much but herself. She was enjoying her time by herself until she heard something from around the corner. She tried to focus in on it, but it was still a whisper of something. She tried harder and when she could hear what it was, her heart sank.

"Honestly, I don't know why we still spoil that blow-hard hag!"

"She has been getting on in years, hasn't she?"

"Ha ha! You know, when I gave her clothes this morning, I could have sworn that I saw wrinkles and graying hairs!" The whispers cackled and then faded away. Konan shook her head, in silent disbelief. Old? Wrinkled? Gray? Her? No! It wasn't possible. Nonetheless, being the vain beauty that she was, she picked up the jeweled mirror that the King had given her and looked into it.

'Seasons come and seasons go...

And the her beauty began to fade like winter's snow...'

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" She screamed as she saw her reflection in the mirror. It was that of a decrepit, old hag. Her teeth were falling out, her eyes were sunken in, her hair was faded and gray; some of it falling out, and her face was just swamped in wrinkles. She screamed again and at once, the King came in and shook his head angrily, shouting,

"I told you to never look in that mirror!!" Konan tried to stand up and walk, but found she couldn't. Alas, the consequences of being idle. She slumped back down and yelled,

"What did you do to me? What the hell did you do to me?!!!" The King shook his head, trying to calm himself,

"I didn't do anything. You looked in the mirror after I said..."

"To hell with whatever you said, you USELESS excuse of a man!!" Konan interjected. "FIX IT NOW!!!" The King stated,

"There's nothing to fix! It's just an ill--"

"SHUT UP!!!" Konan shouted and began sobbing. "This can't be... THIS JUST CAN'T BE!! I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, I..!" She stopped and she thought. "No... I'm not the most beautiful. But I can be!! King!" Said man looked up. "The secret of that true beauty that you promised me all those years ago! Give it to me this instant!" The King sighed and walked up to stand by Konan's throne.

"The secret isn't what you think, Konan. If you would just think..." Konan screamed,

"Why are you being so useless!?! Just do it, do it, DO IT!! A great beauty such as myself deserves everything that's coming to her! So shut up and--" The King interrupted Konan by covering her lips with his own. All at once, Konan's body began to still and she melted into the kiss. But then, she suddenly began to feel weak. Her bones started aching, and her skin loosening. She felt her hair start to get lighter and she began to try and push the man away. However, it was futile because the man didn't budge an inch. "MMPH!! MMT MFF!!!" She screamed in her mouth but couldn't move. Konan still felt her body weakening, her struggles becoming softer and softer, her vision becoming foggy.

Then, finally, the King pulled away and stood above his queen. His shriveled up, balding, blinding Queen. Konan tried getting up but she couldn't move from her throne at all. All she could manage was raising her arm a little towards the King and wheezing, "What did you do to me?" The King scoffed and began to walk away, saying,

"I did what you wanted. I did something. And you said it yourself, 'A great beauty such as yourself deserves everything that's coming to her', wasn't that right?" Konan groaned and looked at herself. She know truly resembled what she saw in the mirror. The King turned and continued, Konan gasping at his new appearance. He had piercings in the bridge of his nose and in his ears and his eyes gazed at Konan: gray and full of indifference. "The secret that you were looking for is that beauty comes from within. A person could have a broken nose or a crooked smile but as long as they had a kind heart, they are truly beautiful. That mirror I gave you reflects a person's heart and, well, I guess their true beauty!" The King laughed, just a tad bit maliciously. Konan gasped, her breathing labored, and panted out,

"Please..! Give me back my beauty! Please!" The King huffed and knocked over Konan's throne, sending it and the queen to the floor. Konan yowled in pain as her great comfort fell on her back. She gasped and wheezed, "PLEASE..!!" The King kneeled down and whispered.

'Whatever happened to that beautiful queen..?' Konan was just about to beg again before her heart gave out from all the stress. Her head lolled to the floor, her eyes in a blank gaze. "So much for that one." Pein sighed before picking up a cup of make-up. He dipped a finger into it and drew a club on Konan's visible hand.


"Her heart's true beauty was to wretched to be seen." Konan finished her story with the last lyric of song. Deidara tired looking at Konan. The woman hadn't really changed from what he could see. But then she smiled and the blonde saw fangs. Her clawed hands grabbed for her cup and when she spoke, a forked-tongue showed itself. "But it helped me to ssee that I wass being a vain little witch, sso it all worked out." He eyes dilated as she drank more tea. Deidara shivered and decided to try and ask,

"C.. Can I..?" But then Tobi jumped to one side of him and sang,

"There once were two cousins,

One naive and one so bored..."

Deidara flinched when he heard Itachi's voice on his other side,

"The older was sick of life

In their humble abode..."

The two cousins sang the last part together,

"So they were truly happy when they received, one day...

A tantalizing Ace of Hearts..."


"Give me that!" An elder woman snapped at the two boys when they had a suspicious piece of paper in their hands. They had been wandering around in the gardens behind their home when the piece of paper floated down from the sky, right into Itachi's hand. Itachi frowned and stated,

"I do believe that that was ours, Auntie." Tobi nodded, agreeing with his elder cousin. The villagers always called Tobi 'one without a brain of his own' because no matter what, it always seemed that Tobi would always agree to whatever Itachi wanted. However, the old woman exclaimed after observing the paper,

"Do you foolish boys know what this is?!!" Itachi rolled his dark brown eyes,

"A piece of paper with a heart on it?" The old woman shook her head.

"It isn't just a piece of paper! It's an invitation to the Rose Castle!" Itachi's eyebrows rose slightly. Tobi asked,

"What's the Rose Castle?" Auntie replied,

"It's rumored to be a dark place. They send out invitations once every couple of years to the fairest ones in the land, operating under the guise of offering a tea-party to those who attend." Itachi smiled,

"Well, it's just a bit of afternoon tea, then. Nothing to be afraid of." Auntie screamed.

"Of course there's something to be afraid of, you twits! Anyone who's fool enough to go into the Rose Castle either comes out with half the mind they had when they went in. Or they never come out at all!" Tobi shivered, his Auntie always had a way of making things scary. But Itachi was smiling. The older raven asked,

"So what you're saying is that you would prefer it if we didn't go to the Rose Castle." Auntie replied,


"Okay then. Tobi, come on, let's go pick strawberries in the garden." Tobi raised an eyebrow and looked between his Auntie and his retreating cousin. He followed after Itachi and when they were far enough, he asked,

"Itachi? Are you feeling okay?" Itachi ate a berry and answered,

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you just gave up when Auntie forbade you from the Rose Castle, and..." Itachi scoffed,

"Oh no, Tobi." Itachi smiled, "I, nay, we are going to Rose Castle." Tobi tilted his head,

"But Auntie took the invitation!" Itachi smirked,

"Then I'll just get it back. Come now, Tobi, you don't underestimate your cousin now, do you?" Tobi shook his head softly. "Good. Then we will go when Auntie goes off to market tomorrow. Wear your best clothes, alright?" Tobi smiled softly,

"Yes, Itachi."

The next day came and, like Itachi said, Auntie went off to market. When the woman was definitely gone, Itachi grabbed his cousin and they were out the door. They walked and walked, Itachi following the directions on the invitation, all throughout the woods. Tobi asked, after a while, "Do you know where it is, Itachi?" The older raven said,

"Of course! I'm following the directions down to the dot. We should see.. it.. soon..." Itachi trailed off, as if he had heard or felt something.

"Itachi? What is it, Tobi..?" But then Tobi froze. He heard what Itachi must have heard.

'The fourth Alice was a set of two cousins...

They were invited to have tea inside of Wonderland...'

Tobi gulped and he felt Itachi flinch. But the elder raven then smiled and whispered, "We're here Tobi." Tobi looked to where Itachi did and gasped. It was a large, ivory castle that was covered and surrounded by rose bushes and vines. "Isn't it beautiful?" Itachi gasped in awe as they walked forward.

"Mm-hm!" Tobi agreed. When they got to the gate nothing happened, so Itachi called out.

"Hello! We're here for your tea-party!" For a while, there was only silence. Tobi murmured,

"Maybe they're not home?" Itachi shook his head,

"No. They're home, I can feel it." Just then the gate slowly rose up and the two cousins walked in. Upon walking in, they saw a gorgeous garden filled with plants and fruits and trees that they never saw at their garden at home. Tobi ran over giggling when he saw a tree filled with peculiar pink fruit. They looked like little bows that grew on trees. Tobi picked one and bit into it, his mouth filling with the most saccharine taste that had ever graced his lips.

"Itachi! Come over here and try this!" Tobi giggled as he finished eating the fruit. Itachi began to walk over but he saw something that made him stop. "Itachi?" The younger wiped his face, "What is it?" Itachi silently pointed to the center of the garden where there was a small table filled with cakes, sweets, and a tea-pot. "It's the tea-party!" Tobi cheered and walked over with his cousin. They sat down and Tobi was about to eat something when Itachi smacked his hand away, hissing,

"Mind your manners! We should wait for our hosts first." Tobi nodded and sat down; nice and proper like a good little boy. They sat for a while, waiting for someone to come out and greet them. But as time went by, no one came. "Well," Itachi began, "This is just plain bad manners, I can't believe..." His eyes wandered to the table and saw a folded piece of paper with another heart on it. "Hello. What's this then?" Itachi asked as he picked up the paper.

"What does it say, Itachi?" Tobi asked, still restraining himself from eating. Itachi simply shook his head before reading aloud,

"'I thank you for coming here to join me for tea today. Regrettably something has come up and I am unable to join you, my most honored guests. However, do feel free to eat your fill of the treats that I have laid out for you. My sincerest apologies.'"

"Yay!" Tobi cheered and poured himself a cup of tea after Itachi had finished reading. Itachi placed some of the cake on his plate but he mused,

"Curiouser and curiouser. Why would someone miss out on their own party?", before grabbing a cup of tea. The two sat like that for a while, eating and conversing, observing the strange new garden with awe. Until, when they were done, Itachi sighed,

"I want to know what happened to our host though." Tobi sighed, his cousin had been on that all day, it seemed.

"Maybe he had errands to do or..." Just then, there was a loud thump from the other side of the garden. Itachi bolted up, stating,

"That must be them! Come on, Tobi!" Tobi felt a vague sense of dread as his cousin walked towards the origin of the sound. He almost wanted to protest, but... "Come on, Tobi!"

"Yes Itachi!" Tobi called back as he followed the older raven. The two began quickly running down a green path through the garden, looking around for any signs of anyone in distress or anything. "Um, Itachi?" Tobi began but was cut off when Itachi began running down one way, calling back,

"This way!", and Tobi had to follow after. This went on for hours: Itachi and Tobi running down a random pathway, Itachi stopping for a minute, and then Itachi barking out another direction. Tobi panted as he ran after his cousin. Itachi seemed to know more and more about this place every second but Tobi still remained confused. Confused but still following his cousin like a lost duckling. They had run down their fifteenth path when the music came,

'The fourth Alice was a set of two cousins...

They were invited to have tea inside of Wonderland...

Once the fun was over, they traveled further in...

The lure of Wonderland is such a powerful thing...'

"Itachi... Tobi's scared..." Tobi whimpered. Itachi grabbed Tobi's hand and said,

"Just hang on to me Tobi, we'll be alright." Itachi had to admit, he was a bit unnerved now. But something, some force was urging him on. He couldn't deny it no matter how hard he tried. They turned and walked down one last path. Here, in front of them, was a beautiful wooden door. It had the engraved markings of a spade, a diamond, and a club. Tobi blinked and stated,

"Wait a second. They're missing a hea..!"

He didn't finish before there were the sounds of footsteps on the grass around them. Itachi pushed his cousin behind him and began to try and see where the noises were coming from. The steps kept on coming. "Itachi! I'm scared!!"

'The foolish younger cousin..!

The wiser older raven…

They came so close to escaping, but were still so far…

"Sh-Shut up!" Itachi hissed back, the fear showing in his voice as well. Suddenly, the noises stopped. Itachi and Tobi let out simultaneous sighs of relief. "See, I told you we'd be alrig--!" Abruptly, without a single sound, a young man with short, blood-red hair jumped out of the bushes behind Itachi, holding a porcelain teapot in his hand. Itachi glanced and screamed, "RUN, TO..!"

There was the sound of shattering porcelain. And Itachi fell to the ground; a permanent stare of fear on his face and blood flowing from his head to the ground. The red-head sighed and smiled, "Perfect…" He then called out, "Kakuzu! It's done!" The stitched brunette came from the shadows and rolled his eyes, commenting,

"You're going to need a new tea-pot, Sasori." The red-head blinked and looked at the bloody porcelain handle in his hand; all that was left from his attack.

"Yes, well you're right." The whole time the two were talking, Tobi stood there, absolutely petrified.

"I..tachi?" He whispered. He walked over to the raven's body and he asked again. "Itachi?"

Silence was his answer. Tobi shook his head, gasping,

"No. No! NO!" He fell to his knees by Itachi's body and began shaking the corpse, panicking, "Itachi! No, please! You can't go! Tell Tobi what to do!! Tobi will do it, as long as you wake up!!" Itachi, of course, didn't move. Tobi began sobbing hysterically, "ITACHI!!! Please wake up! Tobi needs you… Needs you to tell Tobi what to do!!! I can't live unless you tell me what to do!!!" He lay himself on Itachi's chest and sobbed. Sasori flinched upon hearing the tears and said to Kakuzu.

"We might have a situation here…" Kakuzu looked down and saw the young boy sobbing over his cousin's body.

"Shit. That crying is getting on my nerves." Kakuzu groaned. Upon hearing the other voice, Tobi sobbed out,

"Take Tobi too."

"What?" Sasori raised an eyebrow. Tobi looked up and screamed,

"You've already taken what was most important to Tobi, TAKE TOBI T--!" In the middle of Tobi's begging, a giant thread had risen up from the ground and wrapped around the boy's neck. A clench of Kakuzu's fist and there was a loud crack before Tobi's arms swung heavily by his sides. The thread tossed Tobi onto the ground by Itachi and Kakuzu commented,

"He asked for it. And that crying was quite irritating." Sasori sighed,

"Well, I just hope that he'll accept both of them and…" Kakuzu held up his hand, signaling for Sasori to silence himself. Then Kakuzu pointed to the hands of both of the teenagers. Someone had placed two rose petals on each, making the shape of a rose on both.


"These two shall never wake up from their dreams…

They shall forever continue to wander Wonderland!" Itachi and Tobi sang, joining hands in the center of the room and hugging each other close. They both looked at Deidara, eyes blood red and claws on their hands. Tobi smiled,

"Tobi learned to be more independent…"

"..And I learned to take other people's advice, so…" The two shared a quick kiss before stating,

"It all worked out!" After that, the music ended and Deidara decided to make a move.

"Well, un…" He scooted his chair out but when it hit something, he stopped. "That was… very interesting, un. But I really think that I should get going, un!" Tobi frowned and whined,

"But why? We want you to stay!" Sasori sat next to the blonde and cooed,

"Yes, please do. I have a room already made for you." Deidara exclaimed,

"What, un?! You all can't be serious! I have to go, I have to get back to my class and go home and…" Pein spoke up this time,

"Go back to a class filled with absolutely monstrous people and a father who would sell his own children for alcohol if he could. Honestly, Deidara…" He stood up, "It would be much better for you to stay here. And I could always use another follower." Deidara shook his head and screamed,

"No, un! I just want to go home! This has all been just a great big nightmare that I want to forget, un!!" As soon as he said that, everyone began to laugh. Deidara whipped his head around and asked, "What is it now, un?!" Kisame chuckled,

"He's smart."

"Quite." Itachi added. Hidan, Kakuzu, and Sasori laughed on until Konan smiled and stated, looking down at the floor again,

"Sso right, Deidara. But not a nightmare. Nay, a beautiful dream." Deidara shook his head.

"What are you getting at, un?" Konan picked up her tea cup and asked,

"Did you like your tea, Deidara?" The blonde nodded carefully. "It's just weird that you mentioned dreamss, becausse, well," She began laughing, "You've been dreaming ever ssince you drank the first ssip!!!" Deidara gasped and he stood up, backing away from the table but he tripped over something.

"Ow, un… What was that..?" He looked over at his feet and his eyes widened. "AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!"

The blonde was looking at his own body. Everything down to his blonde hair to his school-clothes. However, his eyes were closed and it did look like he was simply sleeping. Yet, he wasn't breathing. Deidara crawled over and tried shaking this body, shouting, "Come on, Deidara! Come on! FOR GOD'S SAKE, WAKE UP!!!" Sasori walked over and stated,

"Hemlock, Witch Hazel, Dropwort, Laburnum… and just a bit of Earl Grey for flavor." He felt Deidara stiffen and he placed his head in the crook of the blonde's neck, murmuring, "Yes, you won't be waking up anytime soon, Deidara." When Sasori pulled away, Deidara just stood there, eyes wide and mind racing.

"I… I'm… I'm d-dead?" He gasped.

He didn't notice his clothes changing into a sky blue Victorian-style outfit.

"I'm dead?' He asked, slightly still disbelieving, again.

Then his nails slowly but surely grew into claws.

"No more… school?" He asked, his voice sounding… calm. "No more tormenting." He actually began to laugh softly. "No more beatings." He began laughing joyfully, "No more back-stabbers! No more having to hold myself back! No more of the hell!" He laughed absolutely full of rapture at this point. When finally calmed down, he looked back and smiled; his eyes dilated like the other but surrounded in blue, "What do we do with this? I'm not cleaning up this mess, un!" Pein smiled and called,


"I'm on it." The brunette picked up Deidara's body and with a bit of a salute, he was out the door. Deidara decided to sit next to Kisame, who was playing randomly on his violin. After getting comfortable, he had to ask,

"Pein-sama?" The orange-haired man sat in the sat that Deidara had left at the table and replied,


"If there are only five Alices. Who are Sasori and Kakuzu?" Pein smiled silently and dug into his robes. He pulled out a stitched doll that looked a lot like Kakuzu and a marionette that bore a striking resemblance to Sasori.

"They have been my most faithful servants since I became a god. And I wouldn't change that for the world." Deidara nodded, relaxing on the couch. It was then Hidan said,

"Hey, Deidara! Sing your song!" Tobi and Itachi added,

"Sing it! Sing it!" Kisame played the melody on the violin and Deidara waited. He felt the words in his heart and then sang out,

"The fifth Alice was a sculptor, we were told…

He looked like an angel with his hair of gold…'"


"Come on! I'm not leaving him here!" Iruka shouted to students. He had organized a make-shift search-party to find Deidara when thirty minutes passed without any sign of him.

'He escaped from torment into the Wonderland…

Yet, his fellow classmates would never understand…'

Ino shivered. She didn't know what or from where but something was making her whole body cold.

'He disappeared into the forest deep…

Lulled by dreams into a peaceful sleep…'

After hours of frantic searching from the whole class, they found him. Ino screamed when they found Deidara's body on the ground in the middle of a clearing. Even some of the students were feeling the dread. They could only feel as if they had caused this (which they kind of did). Iruka shook his head and ran over to the blonde, whispering, "No… Deidara. This can't be…" He felt for a pulse and there was nothing. In fact, the blonde's body was stone-cold. "Deidara, I'm so sorry…" Iruka cried. But then he noticed something.

'Paradise to some,

Hell to most,

His smiles shall forever grace the halls of Wonderland…

For the first time since he had ever seen the boy, Deidara had a smile on his face.


A/N: Well, first off… (1) Hidan wasn't a Jashinist in this fic so that hurt… A lot.

Secondly, Wow! This was such a big project and I hope that people like it!

Deidara- You killed me again, un…

TG- Yeah, sorry about that. But I promise that you won't die in anymore of my fics… *underbreath* Until the Akatsuki Horror Series story that I have planned for Thanksgiving…

Deidara- What?!

TG- Please review! I have nothing against Deidara, it's just that he's fun to write about in horror fics!

-Tyranno's girl.