Written by Yours Truly, CitizenofVolterra


"So, Edward, Tanya's cute, huh?" Emmett hinted. He, Jasper, and I were out on what Esme affectionately called a brother bonding hunting trip. Half the time, it ended up being a make fun of Edward's virginity hunting trip- well maybe half the time is overstating it, but it happens enough to bother the hell out of me. It seemed like this would end up being one of those times.

"Yes, Emmett. I guess she is." I agreed reluctantly.

Emmett grinned, his thoughts wandering through the idea of Tanya and me together. As much crap Emmett gave me about being an 87-year-old virgin, he did genuinely want me to find someone. Jasper felt the acquiescence in my response, and knew better where this conversation was going.

"She's not that cute, Em." I said- cutting off his evolving fantasy before it went somewhere I really really did not want it to go.

"Oh, come on, Edward, you have to get laid at some point!" Emmett objected. "Maybe it would make you less grumpy and irritable," he teased.

Jasper laughed, his thoughts in vague agreement.

"You're being ridiculous." I countered.

"And you're being irritable, as always." Jasper teased.

"Maybe you really should look into the benefits of getting laid." Emmett half-joked.

Jasper's thoughts took on a slightly more serious tone. It may help with the loneliness.

"I'm not lonely."

"I think you should trust Jasper on this one, Edward, he's pretty good at knowing how people feel- in case you haven't noticed."

I rolled my eyes. "Even if I was lonely- which I'm not- sex is not the answer."

"You're right." Emmett started. "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

"Emmett, I'm not going to go around sleeping with a bunch of random girls hoping that I'll somehow magically fall in love along the way."

Emmett's thoughts turned in a new direction. "What about sleeping with a bunch of random guys? You know none of us would care if you were, y'know-"

I glared at him. "I'm not gay, Emmett, I've told you that a million times."

"I know, but it's fun to watch you get angry when I suggest it." He grinned. "So how do you feel about bestiality?"

"I'm going home." I said, turning to run back towards the house.

"Wait, Edward, Emmett was just kidding. Lighten up." Jasper said.

I sighed.

"Yeah, Edward, don't worry- we know you're too asexual to sleep with a goat."

I glared at him again, but Jasper laughed and I found myself laughing too. As annoying as it was knowing I was having my mood controlled, I was glad Jasper could (however forcefully and against my will) make me feel better.

As much as I denied it to my brothers, sisters, and Carlisle and Esme, sometimes I wondered if I was just lonely. It didn't seem like the right explanation- if I was lonely, I wouldn't have wanted to turn away all the girls I had. But every now and then I found myself wishing I had someone, wishing that there was someone I could love. But then again, I'd heard those thoughts in so many other people's heads before, that I may have just been repeating them to myself. I was fine alone- happy that way. I know Esme always worried about me being alone, and Jasper and Emmett made fun of me being a virgin, but it wasn't as if I was suffering from loneliness. I was perfectly content to be alone forever.

But as we all know, he only alone for another 20 years before, well, everything…

So remember- write the quote and author/speaker in THE REVIEWS. The first person to get it right gets to write the next chapter, but you should guess even if you think someone's already gotten it because they could be wrong.

Remember to read the official rules (in Ch 5), especially if your confused about anything. And if you have any questions that aren't covered there, feel free to review it or send me a PM and I'll answer it!

Happy Hunting!


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