Disclaimer: I own nothing! Gilmore Girls is owned by the WB and the song title is from Phosphorescent!
New Jess and Luke centric story! I came up with this idea so randomly, but I liked it. I hope you guys like it as well.
Please review and I hope you enjoy the first chapter!
Liz was laying lazily on the couch, legs sprawled out, her dress sliding up to her thighs. She was staring up at the ceiling, eyes wide, intrigued with something that seemed to be up there. There was nothing there except a water stain, but to her, it seemed to be the most amazing thing in the world. Her stringy strawberry-blonde hair was a frizzy mess, the thick strands falling down against her shoulders, knotted and greasy as if it hadn't been washed for weeks--which was the truth. The bright hazel in her eyes had died down years ago, and that color had been dulled into the pale gray that colored her iris. The light seeping in through the blinds shined on her body, stripes running up and down her dress.
Her eyes suddenly rested on his, his brown eyes locking with her dull gray ones. She just stared for a moment as if he was the most intriguing thing she ever saw, before giving him a small smile. She raised her hand up and sent a weak wave his way, and he tried to smile back as truthfully as he could. He couldn't hold it though. The whole motion felt so unnatural to him, and his muscles were begging him to just relax them.
She slowly sat up on the couch and reached over towards the coffee table to grab one of his cigarettes. Those were his, bought with the few bucks he could spare, and he wanted to yell for her to put it back, yell for her to get her ass off that couch and get herself cleaned up and go out and get a real damnjob, but he couldn't. She was in a good mood today, and he wasn't going to risk it. If she got all worked up, she may kick him out again, or worse. You never knew what she would do when angry. She sometimes just snapped and chased him around with the iron, or maybe even a hanger. Liz was like that
She scared him sometimes, she really did. It scared him that she could get so angry at him, it scared him that she was always high, it scared him that she was his mother. This woman, a blonde-haired, thirty-three-year-old junkie was not fit to be a mother. She didn't match up with the title and its image. A mother is caring and peppy, fun and lively. She was just a woman who was slipping fast away from reality, a woman with schizophrenia and a heavy addiction to coke. That doesn't fit the description one bit.
The door creaked open and his mother perked up, sitting up and looking over towards the door. Her smile appeared wide and bright this time. Ted walked in wearing a matching grin, his beer belly prodding out of his gut like an overstuffed pillow. He leaned down and planted a long, hard smooch on his mother's lips. The connection lasted for what felt like ages, and as they broke off their kiss, it was like Ted had sucked away at more of her life force. She laid back down with duller eyes and paler skin, and she slumped back down onto the couch.
Ted looked his way and sent the boy a sickening grin, and he suddenly felt his bile reflex act up quick. He held it back and looked off towards the TV that was shinning off images of an old television rerun, brightening up the dull, dark room. When watching TV he could escape from his mother and his life for a while. His mind would become completely absorbed in the story and would block out everything else. Books were his favorite escape though. When he had a good book he could be lost in the story for hours. He wouldn't have to wait for another episode to air and there would be no commercials to interrupt his thoughts and bring him back out. A pile of books sat in his room, stacked up high and cluttering almost half of the small space. The stacks were composed of classics as well as the works of a few modern writers. Bukowski, Hemingway, and Charles Dickens were a few of his favorites.
He remembered once when he was younger Liz had decided to destroy all of his books. It had been a few years ago, and she started up a huge fire in the back of their trailer in Omaha. She tossed books in with such force and rage that it scared him. When his mother got like that he didn't know what she would do. Hell, she could have even tried to throw him into the fire that night.
She's been off her medication for ten years and the so called "voices" in her head had been set free again. They whispered lies and orders to her and she would believe and obey. Around the time of the fire, the voices were telling her that there was something wrong with Jess. He was changing, going from childhood to adolescence, and had quickly picked up an attitude. She burned the books because of the voices, she said they told her that they were corrupting his mind. As the years passed, she became worse. The voices told her to burn him with irons and use him as an ash tray. That was how he had obtained the many noticeable scars on his back. The one that stuck out the most was the words she had burned in with cigarettes when he was twelve. It had been terribly painful and he remembered her screaming and screaming at him while he screamed for her to stop. The words "Bad Boy" in capital letters were permanently placed on his lower back after that night.
All of his memories of Liz made her seem like this terrible person and made it seem like he had this terrible life. Maybe that was true now, but things hadn't always been that bad. There had been a short time when she was on medication. It was from the period of when he was two to six years old. His grandfather had taken him in for a few years and forced Liz into a hospital. Those few years had been very normal for him. He did all the things little kids did; played in the park, built snowmen, tick-or-treated, went to the zoo, all of it. He had friends, two little girls named Rory and Lane with two very eccentric and odd mothers, as well as a boy named Chuck. His grandfather owned a hardware store in a small town, and his Uncle Luke worked there with him. He remembered his Uncle Luke incredibly well--the baseball cap, stocky frame, and odd love for flannel. His uncle had been kind of awkward when it came to being a family man, but he pulled it off rather well for a bit. He also insisted that Jess refrained from calling him uncle. He wasn't sure why, but he obeyed.
When his grandfather died shortly after his fourth birthday, his Uncle Luke had taken him in. They moved from his grandfather's house to a small apartment above the hardware store, and his uncle converted the store into a diner. Shortly after that, Liz filed for custody. Of course, the court favored the biological parent over the uncle and since she was taking her medication and seeing a shrink regularly, they let her have Jess back. A few weeks later she stopped showing up to therapy and her and him made their first major move to Texas. The medication quickly disappeared after that and their moving became quite frequent. The moved almost two times a year. He never understood why, but after moving to New York when he was fourteen, the moving just stopped. He was sixteen now and had stayed at the same school for a record of three years. He had grown to love New York: the tall buildings, the parks, the vast diversity of the people; it was a great city that held a lot of good places to escape from his life at home.
"Baby," his mother's voice rang through his head, and the memories he had been caught up in quickly disappeared. He looked towards his side and spotted his mother standing in front of him, wearing a dazed expression and wide smile. Her hand quickly went up to his cheek, and Jess flinched back, a natural reaction he tended to have now. Touch just didn't feel right to him. Whenever someone brought a hand up towards him, he usually got a blow to the head.
Liz went at it again, and Jess fought the urge to flinch, letting her brush against the bruised skin on his cheek. She had done that. A few nights before she had slapped him over and over in a fit of rage, and he just took every hit. Running only made things worse, and when she was just smacking him around it was safer to let her get it out. After that she would be calm and exhausted, her steps sloppy as she retreated her way to her room to go snort a line.
"I'm sorry," she started up. If Jess didn't know any better, he would have rolled his eyes and let out a snort. She said that every time she hurt him. She never meant it though, or maybe she did. It was the voices, it wasn't her, right? She didn't really want to hurt him, it was the things inside her head that did. Everything was just so confusing for him, and he hated it.
"I know," Jess replied, his eyes traveling off towards the television. He didn't want to deal with Liz right then. Moments like this between he and his mother were always very awkward for him. The way she looked at him, dull eyes showing such concern and care, made him even more confused. She showed such care for him right then, but how could she really care about him if she did these things to him. You don't hurt the people you care for, that's not how it works.
She kept her hand resting gently on his cheek for a moment, wearing that concerned, motherly expression, while Jess kept his eyes glued to the television. He was trying to get absorbed in the story once again, escape his life and hopefully cause his mother to leave him be for a while. He really wanted to read a book though, it would be easier for him to get away that way--he always loved reading more than television--but the book he was reading was in his room, and he couldn't just get up and get it. The TV would have to do, he supposed.
Liz's hand eventually fell from his cheek at some point after he got sucked into the story line of the show, and she had wandered off to her room. Ted was in there as well, and he really didn't want to think about what they were doing in that room.
Jess stood up from his seat and walked over to the coffee table and picked up his pack of cigarettes as he walked to his room. He kicked the door shut behind him and picked up a book from his stack. Plopping down onto the bed, he opened up his pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips, hand sliding down into his pocket to grab a lighter. Once the stick was lit, he inhaled and exhaled a cloud of misty smoke. He opened the book he had grabbed from off the stack--ironically, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest--and began to read.
The story grabbed him in quick, and the world around him quickly began to disappear. He could no longer hear the loud blaring horns of the cars stuck in traffic outside, he could no longer hear his mother's moans from her bedroom. Everything that surrounded him was gone. He wished it could be that way forever. He wanted to stay stuck in some book for the rest of his life; it would be one hundred times better than staying in his own life.
He took another drag and rested his back against the bed post. Things felt somewhat normal in that moment, and that made him feel incredibly good.
Jess had drifted off into a calm sleep about an hour after entering his room. The peace that had fallen over the house as he entered his sleep was quickly broken though, and the small crashes and yells from the living room stirred Jess awake. His eyes fluttered open and quickly landed on the door as he heard Liz storm her way over to his room, hand turning the knob and slamming the door open. The woman who entered the room was no longer his mother though; the voices had taken over and her own thoughts had been pushed somewhere far in the back of her mind. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and Jess could quickly tell she was high.
He sat up quick in bed and pushed his fear deep down inside of him and put on a tough mask. He would never let his mother see how frightened he was of her when she got like this anymore, he wouldn't let anyone see his fear. Those emotions were meant to be hidden. She made her way over to him in a wild frenzy, voice cracking as she yelled, "Get up, get up!"
Jess quickly obeyed and stood up, keeping his expression numb and unreadable. Her hand quickly came up and smacked him hard across his bruised cheek. Jess backed into the wall and kept his gaze off towards the ground. Another slap, painful and stinging, against his other cheek.
"Who are you?!" she questioned with a roar as she pushed him hard into his desk, causing the lamp on top to fall and shatter to pieces, "You're not my son! Where is he?!" She grabbed her arms and shook him madly. He hated to let himself get beat like this, but he couldn't ever fight back. He didn't want to hurt his mother, he knew he could overpower he easily, but the woman was mentally ill. He wasn't going to start pushing her off of him. He'd let her get it out of her system. She was just hitting him, and he could handle that. If she had pulled out an iron or anything more vicious he would fight her to some degree. The feel of an burning iron to the skin is practically unbearable.
"I won't let you have him!" Liz's hands shot up to his neck and wrapped around it tight. Jess couldn't keep on his mask anymore, and his eyes went wide as she slammed him against the wall. Her hands squeezed tighter as Jess tried to pry them off. She slammed him against the wall again but Jess kept fighting. He had to get her off, he just had to. He couldn't breath, and his body was craving oxygen. He was so scared, he needed to breath, oh God, he didn't want to die! He tugged and tugged at her arms as hard as he could but she just would not let go!
Jess felt his legs go weak and his back slid down against the wall, Liz's grip never letting up. He clung to her arms, trying to pry them off. His legs started kicking as hard as they could, and he felt himself going lightheaded. He was seeing specks and he knew that wasn't a good sign. He could not die, he couldn't! He was only sixteen, and he had so much more he wanted to do. He'd been stuck roaming around with his crazy mother for all of his life and had never done one thing for himself. He wanted to escape her and start his own life, publish a book and live in a flat somewhere in Bristol. He wanted to be as far away from her as possible. He wanted to finally be happy. He couldn't die yet, it wouldn't be fair. He had been forced to suffer at the hands of his mother for ten whole years and it wouldn't be fair for him to die like this! The faint sound of sirens and banging could be heard. Jess caught onto them somewhat, but he could barely think anymore. All his body could do was kick and tug and fight until he was either dead or breathing again.
When the blotches began to take over his sight and he felt himself slipping, the tight hands that hand been wrapped around his neck were somehow pried off, and he let out a horrific gasp for air. He slid down against the wall, coughing and gasping frantically. Inhaleexhaleinhaleexhale; that was the only thing that was going through his mind at a frantic and quick speed. His eyes travelled over towards his mother who was trying to fight off the stocky police officer that held her. She kicked and screamed and cried, exclaiming, "He's not my son, he's not my son!"
Jess watched as the cop dragged her out of the room. Her dulled eyes keep their gaze on him the entire way, staring at him with such hate as he gasped for breath.
"You're going to be alright," Jess' eyes shot over to the police officer who was kneeling down beside him. She gave him a weak smile, trying to comfort him in some way, "We've called an ambulance and the paramedics will take you to the hospital."
Jess' frantic breathing had calmed down somewhat, but his body was still craving oxygen more than he'd craved anything before. He adjusted his position on the ground and banged the back of his head lightly against the wall, still trying to get back all of the oxygen that his mother had kept from him.
He was going to be alright, that was what the officer had said. What the hell was she talking about? His mother had just tried to choke him ... and then it hit him. Right as the paramedics rushed in, as they were wrapping any oxygen mask over his mouth.
His mother had tried to kill him.
Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you liked it!
Luke comes in next chapter, and for the rest of the story he will be there! I just needed to sort of set things up in a way.
I'll update as soon as possible, but in the meantime, please review! Hopefully you guys liked it, or I guess I'll have to just write it for myself.
Thank you all so much for reading!