NEOPOLEAN DYNAMITE, THE FAMILY GUY, PT 1
It was a normal day in Cohog. EXCEPT..... Peter was working in teh yard. He said "Remember that time i was not doing yardwork??" Then he watched Tv. "hehehe. Flippin sweat." Louis came into the house and dropped the groceries, "PETER YOU'R SUPPOSE TO BE DOIN THE YARDWORK!" "eh dont worry louis. i got it covered. i hired a man 2 do it for me." brain and stewie were sitting on the couch watching tv too. "do you think this is a good idea??" Brien asked pEter. "Kno w what was a bad ideA?" asked stewie."The time we listened to pop music. " Then it showed them listening to brittany spears and stewie catches on fire on account of its very bad. In the present time chris comes into the room and he says. "There s a man in the yard!! Im going to show him my poop!" and then the door opens and who comes in but Napoleon Dynamite!? "Flippin gosh everybody." says Napoloeon Dynamite. "How the heck am i suppose to do all this yard's work with all this NOISE!?" Then he went "hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" like what's in the movie where he breathes out a long time. Then peter said, "hehehehe dont' worry napoleon. we'll get u fixed up." Then it shows like an 80s montage of peter and napoloeon getting a nice new suit and some cool clothes. But like maybe there's a robot that chases them. What's from Robot chicken. XD they became friends cuz they did some male bonding at the thrift store and bought some weights to lift. then they decide to show napoleon's new duds to uncle rico.
"Whose this guy? asks Uncle Rico." Uncle Rick points to Peter Griffin. And throws a football. peter gets hit with it in the foot. Then he bends down, holding his foot, and he goes "tthhh... ahhhh..." over and over again, like what's from the show Family Guy. Then Kip Goes, "you guys are interrupiting this. " He throws his time machine at Napoloen and napoleon goes "thh.... ahh..." too next to peter. And they do it at the same time. Both together. then uncle rico notices hes being stupid cuz of kip throwing the machine. Then he takes out a steak and says "im sorry Peter. Let's eat up!!!!" and they all enjoy the steak. BUT......
Back at home Brien and Griffie are playing chess. "How do u keep winning? you're only a baby!!!" Says Brian. "maybe its because im a genius baby. im so smart that im going to kill louis. " says Stewie. And he gives Brain a look like what's serious. Then they share a soda cuz theyre gay with each other.
Uncle Rico and Napoloen and Peter are very good friends. BUT THERE'S A PROBLEM!!!! Kip is so jealouse of them. It shows him on the computer typing HOW TO KILL THE FAMILY GUY into . and he looks at the computer and smiles evelly. AND THEN...........
those three are hangin out and it turns out theyre on a roller coster. and they brought brian and griffie cuz they were flippin tired of playing so much chess all the time. and they also brought kip becouse he was done on the chat room. and then stewie was talking to kip. and this is how it went: "Kip i hate peter.' "so do i hes ruining my family." "lets destroy this roller coaster!!!" and then they take a spanner and before brian can stop them they take apart the roller coaster!!!! And it crashes! And then Peter says "GRAB ON FELLA'S!" and then they hold onto him and his fat blows out like a parashoot lol. Stewie is like "BLAST WHAT THE DOUCE!" and kip says "your'e mom is what the douce. " and then he lols.
PT 2 napoloen's curse...
Napoleon and Pedro and peter were listening to heavy metal (slayer). And they were headbanging. Napoleon said "Gosh this song is sweat." Pedro said in a mexican voice, "yea i think Slayer is the best band in the world."
MEANWHILE.... Kip and stevie were planning a murder. a murder of louis. They were practicing by putting mouse traps in megs shoes. and by reading her diary. They went to her high school and in front of her friends read a part of her diary that said "i farted todAy." She got so embarrassed that her face turned red like a tomato and her head blew up what's like a balloon and her hat popped. then she said I HATE YOU ALL!!! and she ran away. stevie and kip did a high five and a laugh. Up down and all around.
Chris came up to napoleon and peter and said "is that nickelback??" and they said "no flippin way take a hike country bumbkin we're listening to slipknot. its sweat" the evilmonkey pointed at chris and laughed cuz even an ape knows that nickleback stinks. karate chop
"i think were ready to kill louis now. " said stewiert.
CHAPTER 3 A FIRE AND A TAXPAYER...
Stewie got the knives turned on caught in a mosh by anhrax and headbanged. Kip got a migraine and said TURN THAT DOWN JOSHUA!!!! like my mom. stewie said: which one of these words dont you understand, we are going to KILL LOUIS... kip said,"oh yeah. sweet. i love to kill." he put on his time machine suit and stewie got his knives. they threw up the metal horns to each other to show their comitment and left their secret hideout. WHICH WAS BRIANS DOGHOUSE!!!
louis and meg were watching the movie titanic and eating bon bons in their fuzzy slippers. they were both crying like this: A BLOO A BLOO A BLOO IM A LADY. they had candles everywhere because ladys dont like the smell of stinky dead food. that peter leaves all over. he has been gone for three weeks with napoleon.. lets check in on them shall we....
this is what theyre doing right now: napoleon and peter where getting very sick of eachother. after camping for so long on lake cohog. "EAT THE DOOTY NAPOLEON..." said peter and he pushed a pair of dirty underwear into napoleons face. YUCK.. napoleon said and he barfed. the underwear and barf fell into the lake........... it floated down to the bottom.... and a innocent fish saw the poopy... oh gee thanks thats real nice. said the fish in a family style. "thats ok. thats real sweet. im cool with that. no no dont worry about it. just leave your barf and poup everywhere." peter said "whats the big deal" and it was awkward. like what's on family guy. then they started drinking beer and getting so drunk and barfing in the lake some more.
meanwhile, back at the ranch, stewey and kip were coming inside acting innocent and whistling a tune. "hi there louis.." said kip. "hi what have yall been up to. get a long little doggy." said louis in her stupid southern accent. "nothing much just planning to kill you.. WOOPS!!! i mean planning to kill meg..." stewie elbowed kip really hard. ow gosh.... but louise was like "oh okay. i'll help yall. " and then they flipped meg off and killed her with chains. stewie spit "ok what do you guys plan to do now???" said louis. "kill you. WOOPS!!! i mean chat online with hot babes like in the movie." said kip. and then stewie said remember that time we did that? and it shows a scene of them in the movie chatting with hot babes but stewie isnt interested hes homo.
well it looks like peter and napoleoon have found some more trouble. it shows peter and napolean on their boat but then under the water TROUBLE IS BREWING... the fish are so sick of those drinking buddies puking up their water that they start to morph together and form one big fish. lol. its like a robot fish with hands and chains and hacksaws. the fish rises up out of the water and towers a whopping 420 feet "high"..... HOLEY CRAP!!! say peter and napoleon together and their hair stands on end. "excuse me... " said the fish and it barfed all over them. "i think this belongs to you....." the fish barf smells SO GROSS! their barfing all over and getting diarhea from the fish barf. the fish leans down and breathes stinky breathe in their faces and says "i'll put your body in a catacomb..."
stewie and kip are whistling and hiding their hatchets behind their backs and following louis into the kitchen where she plans to do a womans work. such as washing a whole possel o dishes or peeling a bushel of patatoes. stewie says: "hi louis what are you up to.... " and louis turns and starts to laugh like ehehehehe and they put a knife in her chin... but its not louis's chin!! it's a big stupid quagmire chin and they realized they killed GREG QUAGMIRE!!! he goes gigody... gigody... gig...... o.. ty... and then DIES. BLOOD AND SKULLS. crap says kip and they run off. then louis sees quagmire dead on top of all the potates she was peeling and she says QUAGMIRE!!! youve ruined my tots once again.
CHAPTER 4.... PEDROS magic gift....
pedro flipped on the tv but all he heard was blah blah blah... man kill this noise said pedro and he went outside to lake cohog. which was right outside his house. he was hiding from the cops what wanted to send him back to mexico for smoking so much POT. just then, he saw the fish monster towering over his broes. he took a HUGE BONG RIP and blew it in the fishes face and the fish chilled the f*r**ck out. it got so high it forgot how to swim and it drowned in the barf lake. noo
"heheheh. flippin sweat.." said peter. pedro came over and said "hola amigoes... time for a fiesta... lol" and he got in the boat. peter and napolean forgot their quarrels and they set sails for adventure. while slayer played pedros cousins were slayer, they were there and good at playing metal.
but there were PROBLEMS BACK AT THE OL HOMESTEAD... a couple of barnyard joes aka stewie and kip were milling around thinking about their" grave" mistake.... which was literally that quagmire was in a grave. "how now brown cow...." said stewtie and at the same time the old man was touching chris's booty. "we need to get his help. said kip and they both looked at each other and smiled evilly and said SWEET.....
so they went over to his house. "hey, your not a boy that i want to try molesting with using POPSICLES FOR BAIT. said herbert. what the heck are yall doing at my home??" stewie said. do you want to touch chris's butt as much as you want?? because if you help us you can. you micheal jackson pedophile. "heck yeah" said the old man and they put him in kips backpack and walked home.
they all sat around in megs room becuse she was dead now and they plotted a mysterious plan to kill louis once and for all because she had gone too far./.. the plan was to feed stewie lots of dynamite so he would drop a deuce in his diaper and when louis changed him she wojuld explode. so they started feeding him a bunch of dynamite and he got so fat from eating so much of it. stewie goes ahhh i cant believe how fat i am aahhh.. and then he rubs his belly in satisfaction and gives a sassy look. "um.. problem" said kip. "explaine" said stewie and kip was like "duh.. you havent made a dookie yet" and then herbert said i'll solve this problem boyos and he picked up stewie and squeezed him and he started pooping all over the place with a lot of fart sounds. robot chicken. there was poop bombs in his diaper now and he crawled over to louis's room with a saggy poop butt the kind of whcih he really enjoyed. where she was sewing a flower. she stopped crying when he came in and said hello stewie. looks like you made a hot crap. aw yeah said stewie.
then she took him over to megs dead body which was a changing table now and unlatched his diaper. there was poop all over meg. it was everywhere and there was blood and bones in her eyes and mouth. then louis exploded. congrat's. said kip to stewie. "now whose gonna change my BUTT. " said stewie and herbert said "im sure not.. you arent chris.." "thats too bad because im gay." said stewie.
the end/...???or is it lol