Disclaimer : I don't own it.
Note : Inspired by a random youtube video I saw of Barricade with quite the potty mouth. LOL I don't own it. Oh, and I don't know if it was Samuel L. Jackson's (though on the quality I heard, I had to watch the video 4 times and REALLY listen, cause it sounded like Eddy Murphy (You might just have been right, Gix)) voice or not, but that's who it sounded like to me, so that's who I'm listing it as. You just have to look for the video with Barricade and a voice mod.
Summary : Someone Decides to play a prank on poor, unsuspecting Barricade. Just a random one-shot. And yes I suck at summaries, but I didn't know if this was good enough to post or not. We'll see.
Warning : Rated for LOTS of foul language!
A single pair of crimson optics blinked and narrowed as a tall, broad figure stepped into the darkened berth. The very same optics were overcome with an utterly michevious expression as they gazed down upon a single recharging figure below them.
One large hand suddenly moved a little, and the fingers uncurled to show a remarkably tiny creature within, it's own crimson optics shining with evil mirth as it was lowered to the almost still chest of the unmoving figure.
"You know what to do."
The tiny creature looked up and raised a single optic ridge, lightly tapping one of it's many feet as it stared him down. 'No, I suddenly forgot.' The sarcastic comment was ignored, however, as the little one turned down to his work. 'Remain at the door and keep an eye out for intruders.'
Who'd be stupid enough to come in here at this time of night? Looking around, the larger mech looked down at himself a moment. Oh, right. Never mind. Shaking his head, he turned and walked to the doorway, turning his sensors on high as he listened for any sound or signal that could indicate another of his kind stirring someplace, or approaching.
It seemed like forever, but was in reality only a few moments later when he received the call.
'So soon?' Optics widened a little in surprise as a head turned towards the source of the inner voice. 'Are you sure you got it?'
The optics narrowed. 'You question me? Voice modification complete. Voice set to 'Samuel L. Jackson'.'Clicking two of his feet together, he rubbed his hands and tilted his head expectantly, his optics hinting there was more to it than that. 'Are you going to give me a lift, or what?'
For a long moment, he contemplated the 'or what', but knew that if he left the little doctor behind, he'd likely end up betrayed and the voice mod undone. He was supremely lucky as it was that the little surgeon and torturer had felt like playing a prank to begin with.
Walking over, he scooped up the tiny medic and turned, leaving the room as silently as he'd entered. As he went, he chuckled quietly, knowing his plan had been set in motion.
As his optics slid back and forth, scanning every earth vehicle he came across, he barely managed to bite back a sigh. When's that slagging human going to come along? He frowned and cleared his throat forcefully, feeling as though he had something stuck within it. His scans showed the negative, but briefly Barricade wondered if he'd caught one of earth's more recent and advanced computer viruses.
Heh, they had Megatron frozen on ice for how long, and it still seems the technology continually advancing at an alarming rate is 'computer viruses'.
He rolled his optics, his light flickering as he 'blinked'.
Suddenly, he spotted the vehicle he'd been looking for. It held a single human male within it and he smirked evilly as he recalled the same human male he'd pranked multiple times before. His smirk faded however, knowing that he didn't have the time to play around much now. He was on a mission and he was going to complete it.
And no, he hadn't been told to find this particular human, but he had been told that he had to get the necessary information, no matter what.
It seems the Autobots made a more permanent version of the override chip, if the Decepticon information was correct, and
Pulling out from behind a large bill board, he activated his holographic driver, pausing only a second when he sensed Starscream flying by overhead. With an internal frown, he pulled after the man, waiting as he pulled into an empty building lot with a rather large parking lot behind the abandoned building. Once he was around the corner, he quickly transformed, growling as he grabbed the car and ripped the top off.
With a smirk, he watched the human staring up at him in shock.
"Not real. It's not real. It's just a bad dream."
Raising an optic ridge, Barricade tilted his head to the side a little, before letting lose a snarl. He reminds of that pit-spawned Witwicky fleshbag. He thought as he dropped the car and watched it hit the ground, causing the human within to bounce. Then, with lightning fast reflexes, he leaned down, bracing himself over the car as the human shakily climbed through the broken windshield on to the hood of the car.
Leaning down, he got right into the human's face. "Are you Justin Ramsey?"
Opening his mouth, Barricade was about to demand the same question again. Humans were, after all, rather primitive, dense balls of flesh. Then, something snapped inside of him. "What country you from?" He blinked a moment, stunned at the choice of words that issued from his mouth, and the fact that it wasn't his voice he was speaking in. A quick google search told him it was some earth actor by the name of Samuel L. Jackson, whoever the pit that was.
He growled, his mouth opening of it's own accord. "'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak english in 'What'?" His optics narrowed as he tried to stop himself from speaking, but to no avail. Whatever obvious glitch was messing with his vocal processors had also somehow blocked his attempts to stop speaking. I'm willing to bet I know who did this to me.
"English, mother fucker! You speak it??" The same voice demanded angrily as Barricade leaned down closer to the human.
Finally. So the human can speak other than 'what?'. "Where is the location of the Autobot base?!" Barricade blinked again and almost relaxed when he heard his own voice, speaking the very questions he wanted it to speak.
Alas, it seemed Barricade's joy was not to be long lived.
"Say 'What' again! Say. 'What'. Again! I dare you! I double dare you, mother fucker! Say 'What' one more goddamn time!" The voice was back, and Barricade watched bemusedly as the human stared at him a long moment before squeaking, turning and dashing off the car and into the building.
With a low growl, Barricade felt whatever glitch had come over him fade, and he took off after the human, plowing through the building and attempting to grab him, meanwhile mentally counting all the ways he was going to slag whoever had done this to him.
I think the only upside to this is no one was around to witness it. He thought with a frown as he watched the human decend into a tunnel-like entrance. His scans showed him it was futile to try and follow and he transformed back, gunning his engine as he took off.
Then he got a ping over his internal communications, took in the newly posted 'youtube' video, and groaned again. Spoke too soon. At least I know who I'm gonna offline.
Note : Basically, this goes back and forth. Revenge for revenge. It would only be another voice mod chapter, probably, and I don't have a muse for it, so to head off questions early, I don't know if there will be a revenge part to this chapter.
I've also posted it separately because of the massive foul language (I don't like using the 'f' word in 'T' rating, it's just me), and because I'm not so sure if it belongs in Autobot Pranks.
Hope you like it.