"WHO DID IT!?" a booming voice rang through the men's sleeping quarters.
Chopper jumped in fright at the rude awakening, falling out of his cot onto the floor where he was instantly squashed by Usopp, who fell from the cot above.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" the sniper roared, having landed directly on one of Chopper's antlers, which pierced his pants and was now lodged up his bottom.
"YOHO!" Brooke sang as he awoke and spun out of bed, reflexively assuming the 'play dead' pose on the floor.
"Hm??? Hm??" Luffy mumbled, shooting up to a sitting position and drearily looking around for the source of the noise.
Franky, more than startled at being torn from his pleasant dream by the ear shattering shout sat up with such speed that his steel plated head went completely through the wooden underside of the bunk above him, plowing into Zoro's back.
"GAH! What the hell!?" Zoro bellowed, jumping up on his mattress and reaching for his sword.
"WHO DID IT!?" the voice came again, this time accompanied by heavy footsteps as the shouter made her way into the room.
"Na-Nami-san…!?" Sanji exclaimed, leaning out of his bed to identify the disturbance.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Usopp thundered as he rose to his feet and grabbed his rear end, from which hung a screaming Chopper.
"UWAH! USOPP!" Sanji bellowed.
The orange haired girl reached the bunks and immediately slammed her fist into the hollering sniper's head, sending him plummeting to the floor.
"ANSWER!" she demanded, facing the rest of the men. "WHO TOOK THEM!?"
Nami stood barefoot before them, wearing nothing but a large t-shirt. She had a fierce glare on her face the likes of which they had never seen.
"What the hell's your problem!?" flared Zoro.
Nami grabbed Zoro's mattress, and, in an incredible display of strength, wrenched it out from underneath him.
"ZORO! WAS IT YOU!?" She thundered, tossing the mattress behind her.
Zoro backed up against the wall, bewildered.
"Nami-san, what's wrong!?" Sanji shouted.
"You seem to be rather perturbed!" exclaimed Brooke as he began to sit up. "Do you have a bone to pick with some one? YOHOH-"
Nami latched onto Brooke's afro and flung him skull first into Sanji's face.
"BROOKE! SANJI-KUN!" She seethed. "IT WAS ONE OF YOU TWO, WASN'T IT!?"
"What's going on!?" Franky hollered as he tried to dislodge his head from the frame of the bunk.
"Nami!" Luffy yelled. "What are you talking about!?"
Nami huffed for a few seconds, rapidly looking back and forth between the male members of her crew. Robin appeared in the doorway behind her. She was looking away with a mixed expression. She also had on nothing but a large t-shirt.
"WHO…" Nami began, leaning against a bunk for support as her muscles shook with anger. "…WHO…TOOK…OUR…CLOTHES…!?"
"W-What…!" gasped Sanji.
"Your…clothes!?" exclaimed Zoro.
Nami clenched her fists as she began to shake more violently. "Our shirts..." She hissed. "Our skirts…Our pants…Our bras…Our UNDERWEAR…! THEY'RE ALL GONE!"
Franky finally managed to pop his head out from the bed frame. "T-They're gone…!?" he questioned, spinning around to face her. "What do you mean they're gone!?"
"When we woke up, all of our dresser drawers were empty…" Robin said hesitantly, resting a hand over her arm.
"Not just that…" Nami said in an increasingly scary tone, "…The pervert who did this…TOOK OUR UNDERWEAR OFF US WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING!"
"Geh…!" Zoro remarked, cringing.
Franky gawked at them. "W-What kind of weirdo would…!?"
"T-Then…" said Sanji, an expression forming on his face that one who didn't know him well might mistake for a look of horror, "…c-could that mean…right now…! YOU'RE NOT WEARING ANY-"
Nami kicked the cook in his face, knocking him back against the wall.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT!?" she repeated, stomping her foot furiously. "AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM!?"
A short silence ensued as Zoro, Franky, and Brooke glanced around at their fellow male crew mates, Luffy frowned confusedly, Usopp writhed in pain on the floor, and Chopper fearfully looked up at Nami as he tried to disconnect himself from Usopp. At the same time, Sanji slowly sat up, wiping the blood away from his nose.
"I-I can't believe one of us would do something like that…!" Franky eventually exclaimed.
"Y-Yeah!" Chopper agreed from his discomposed position.
"No…" Zoro said markedly, eyeing Sanji with a menacingly calm expression. "…If we're looking for a guy with perverted interests, one definitely comes to my mind…"
Sanji quickly finished wiping the blood from his face and glared at Zoro for a moment before returning his gaze to Nami. "Don't even joke like that…!" He scoffed. "Nami-san, you're right. This is serious. Whatever sick bastard did this is going to pay…! Which one of you was it!? Name yourself!"
"I assure you, it was not me!" Brooke declared, standing up and placing his skeletal hand where his heart once resided. "Though I would be thrilled to see them if you ever so allowed, never would this gentleman do something so brutish as to seize a lady's panties!"
Nami squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth as she fought the urge to attack someone again.
Luffy tilted his head to the side slightly.
"Nami, are you stupid?" he asked.
Nami instantly snapped her neck around. "LUFFY…!"
Luffy huffed. "Why would we want your clothes? We have our own clothes! And we're guys! Guys don't wear girls' clothes! Didn't you know that?"
"SHUT UP!" she barked, leaping over to him and smashing him over the head. As she leapt, the back end of her shirt rose up slightly, revealing enough of her backside to make Sanji and Brooke burst out, "OH!"
Nami stiffened up for an instant and stared at the ground, torn between anger and embarrassment. Another short silence ensued and a feeling of intense awkwardness began spreading through the room.
"…G-Get it out…" Usopp mumbled, weakly pushing down on Chopper's head as he lay dazed, immobilized by the blow.
"Um…" Robin said, gaining the attention of a few of them, "For now, could we get something to wear…?"
"Ah, of course!" Sanji exclaimed, jumping to his feet and running over to the dresser.
"This is so idiotic…" Nami muttered, rubbing her forehead.
"I don't get some people's tastes..." Zoro sighed as he climbed down from his bunk.
Franky hopped over to Chopper and unplugged him from Usopp.
"T-Thanks…" Chopper whispered, dizzily standing up. Usopp remained on the floor, barely conscious.
Luffy got up as well and rubbed his head where he'd been hit.
"EH." Came Sanji's voice.
Everyone turned to him.
"What is it?" Franky inquired.
"O-Oi…" Sanji said, looking at his crew mates as he pointed to the dresser drawers, all of which he had flung open for some reason.
The crew slowly gathered around him to see what he was talking about.
"Eh." Franky reiterated when he arrived.
"What the…!" Zoro hollered.
"Ah!" Luffy shouted. "They're gone!"
The dresser drawers were all empty.
"EHHHHHHH!?" shouted Zoro, Luffy, Nami, Chopper, Franky, and Brooke.
"O-Ours are gone too!" Franky yelled, placing his hands on his head.
"What the hell is this!?" Zoro bellowed, grimacing.
"This is quite strange!" remarked Brooke.
"Hold on! Hold on!" Sanji exclaimed, rapidly looking around the room. "This doesn't make any sense! None of us would do this!"
"That's right…!" Franky agreed, looking towards the door. "…Which could only mean someone else did this!"
"S-Someone else!?" Chopper hollered. "Someone else is on our ship!?"
"That would make the most sense…" Robin agreed, nodding. "…And whoever it was couldn't have gotten far away..."
"Then let's find them and end this nonsense!" Zoro huffed, racing out onto the deck.
Everyone except Usopp followed him out.
The sun was just rising over the horizon and a warm breeze was blowing across the ship. Above was a clear, blue sky, and below was a calm ocean, stretching out beyond view in every direction. After a quick order from Nami, the Straw Hats split up and headed in different directions across the deck.
"There's no land or ships in sight, so whoever did this has to be on board!" Nami exclaimed as she headed towards the ship's bow. "Find them!"
Less than a minute passed before Chopper's shout came. "I-I FOUND HIM! GUYS! THE DINING ROOM!"
Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Franky, Brooke, Nami and Robin all bolted towards the dining room.
When they arrived, each of them nearly fell over at the strange sight that sat before them.
"Elephant, elephant. Yes, yes. So much work…Oh, it's hard to be old…" muttered an old man wearing thick rimmed, square glasses. He was sitting on the dinner table with a thread and needle, sewing a pattern into a piece of cloth. Underneath him, covering the table top was a large, patchwork quilt. The gray haired man seemed completely unaware that he was surrounded by eight people.
"…Old man, who are you!?" Luffy asked after a few moments.
The man glanced up at Luffy momentarily, squinting his eyes to see him, then he blinked and returned to his sewing. "The trunk, oh the trunk…What's an elephant without a trunk? Ho ho ho!"
"Who the hell are you!?" Sanji shouted.
The old man glanced up again, squinting his eyes at Sanji this time. His eyes widened slightly and he raised his hand to point at Sanji's eye brow.
"Oh, yes, yes!" he exclaimed, nodding. "Elephants do curl their trunks sometimes…"
He returned to sewing. Sanji's eye twitched and his face got red.
"I SAID WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" the cook repeated, stomping his foot.
The old man ignored him, continuing to sew while muttering, "The tusks too, oh yes, yes…"
"T-This is really strange…" said Franky.
"Hey, mister!" Nami shouted. "What are you doing on our ship!? And where are our clothes!?"
"Hmm, hmm…" the old man muttered, nodding his head. "Ho ho ho! Yes, and with that, it's finished!"
He held up the piece of cloth for the crew to see. It had an image of an elephant sewn into it.
"Good, yes?" he asked, apparently looking for their approval.
"Ah! That's pretty good!" Luffy exclaimed. "Old man, can you do a goliath beetle!?"
"Oi, oi!" Zoro yelled. "Old man, who are you and why are you on our ship!?"
"Hmm, hmm…" The old man mumbled, rubbing his chin. "A goliath beetle, you say? Let's see…"
The man lifted his right forearm up, and stared at it.
"W-What are you doing!?" exclaimed Franky. "Just who are you!?"
"I'm envisioning." the old man replied. "Before creating a new work, I must first decide what cloth to use…Hmm…Oh, yes! That's it!"
The old man's forearm suddenly turned blue.
"WAH!" Everyone exclaimed, jumping back in surprise.
A wrinkle formed in his skin, then a thin piece of blue fabric began peeling off his arm. He grabbed it and yanked it off. It was a square piece of cloth.
"What the hell are you!?" Sanji hollered. "Is that some kind of Devil's Fruit ability!?"
"Ho ho ho!" the old man laughed, setting the piece of cloth on the quilt he was sitting on. "That will be the background, so then for the pattern…"
The old man's forearm returned to its normal color, but this time a gray thread sprouted out of it. He pointed at the thread with his middle finger and a needle suddenly jutted out from his finger's tip. The thread then lengthened, protruding further from his arm where it looped through a small hole in the needle.
"W-What are y-" Franky began but was cut off by a loud tapping noise as the old man lowered his finger to the blue piece of cloth and began rapidly tapping it.
"He's sewing!" Nami gasped, noticing the gray thread being worked into the blue cloth.
The old man quickly moved his hand down the cloth as he weaved a pattern into it line by line. After a few seconds, the thread coming out of his arm clipped itself off and he lifted his hand from the cloth, the needle receding back into his finger tip. Sewn into the cloth was an image of a goliath beetle.
"WOW!" Luffy shouted, eyes gleaming. "THAT'S AMAZING!"
The old man mumbled something to himself, then picked up the two pieces of cloth and stuffed them in his mouth.
"Geh!" Nami exclaimed.
"Oh my!" interjected Brooke.
They all heard a loud gulping noise as he swallowed the fabric.
"He swallowed it!" Chopper hollered. "He's going to choke!"
"Ho ho ho!" The old man laughed again. "Two new pieces to add to my collection!"
The man's shirt suddenly sunk into his skin and vanished, exposing a large, muscular chest. The elephant pattern and the goliath beetle pattern appeared on his skin.
"J-Just what are you-!?" Franky shouted.
The man's pants and what the crew briefly noticed were his slippers sunk into his skin as well. The two patterns were then joined by hundreds more as the old man's entire body became covered with sewn images of animals.
Chopper fell over and yelled, "AHH! A MONSTER!"
"H-He looks like a rag doll…!" Sanji exclaimed, backing up.
"HE'S SO COOL!" Luffy announced.
Zoro reached for one of his swords and prepared to unsheathe it.
"Ah, but this won't do…No, no…" the old man rumbled, looking over his body with dissatisfaction. "I still haven't found the right cloth for the perfect patchwork…"
"…Could he have eaten a Devil's Fruit that made him a 'cloth man'…?" Nami theorized.
"Yes, yes…" the old man sighed, briefly looking up at Nami and then back at his patchwork skin. "The Maku Maku Fruit…With this body I can control cloth to my will and create the most beautiful designs with it…I've searched the oceans for sixty years, but I still haven't found the perfect cloth…"
The old man continued to sigh as his skin returned to normal.
"Could you explain what happened to our clothes?" Robin asked.
The old man nodded. "Oh, clothes, yes, thank you for those..."
The crew watched him silently in confusion for a few seconds longer before Luffy abruptly exclaimed, "EH!?"
The crew turned to see their captain staring down at his vest, the bottom half of which was rapidly vanishing.
"Eh!?" Nami repeated.
Two threads were drawn taut between Luffy's vest and the old man's finger tips, and they were being vacuumed into his fingers as the vest became unstitched, line by line. Within a few seconds, Luffy's vest disappeared entirely as the last of its threads were sucked into the old man's hands. His buttons fell to the ground.
"GAH!" Luffy boomed.
"Ehm…!" came Brooke's voice before the crew had time to react. The skeleton's shirt was disappearing in a similar fashion.
"AH!" hollered Sanji, noticing his coat being swiftly unstitched as well.
"He's taking our clothes!" Franky bellowed, pointing to the numerous threads connecting the old man's finger tips to the crew's clothing.
Zoro hastily unsheathed his sword and cut through a thread protruding from his haramaki. He lunged forward and tried to grab the old man.
"Hmm…!" the old man muttered as he shot up from the table and hung in the air from a thread connected to the ceiling.
"N-No!" Nami shrieked, covering her privates with her hands as her t-shirt vanished.
Franky gasped as his speedo left him. "Ah! My best pair!"
"Shit…!" Zoro cursed, grabbing his swords as his haramaki came off.
"Damn perverted old man…!" a shirtless Sanji thundered, leaping into the air and throwing a kick at him.
"Ho ho ho!" the man laughed, flying out of the way of Sanji's kick on a zip line of thread. He sped towards the doorway, grabbing the quilt he had been sitting on as he went and stuffing it in his mouth.
"NAMI!" came Usopp's voice as the now conscious sniper charged into the dining room. "HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I WOKE YOU UP THAT WA-"
The old man sped past Usopp and at the same time engulfed his clothes.
"WAH!" Usopp hollered, falling over naked.
"He's getting away!" Sanji roared, chasing the old man out the door.
"And he's still taking our clothes!" Chopper exclaimed, staring at his shorts, which were being pulled apart by a thread stretching out the doorway.
Zoro swung his sword in front of him frantically as the threads of his pants and shirt continued to come apart. "Damn it!" he flared. "There's too many threads to cut…!"
The crew hurried out onto the deck and looked up to see the old man hanging between the two masts by a hammock he had just formed. Thousands of threads were protruding from his body and going into every doorway on the ship's deck.
"He's taking all the cloth from the ship!" Nami realized with horror.
Franky stumbled forward as the final thread of his shirt came off, but quickly recomposed himself and pointed upward. "He's taking apart the sails too!"
Multiple holes were forming on the sails as they too were assaulted by the strange man's ability.
"If he takes the sails, we'll be stranded!" Nami cried. "Stop him!"
Luffy, Zoro, and Franky all reacted together.
"GOMU GOMU NO PISTOL!"
"THIRTY SIX POUND CANNON!"
The man dodged the three attacks by sliding to the side on another one of his threaded zip lines. "Ho ho ho!"
"HURRY!" Nami cried again. "If he takes the sails apart any more they'll become useless!"
"GEAR SECOND!" Luffy thundered as he pumped up his legs, wasting no time. "JET PISTOL!"
Luffy's lightning fast fist blazed through the air and immediately came into contact with the unsuspecting man's face.
"BWAH!" the old man bellowed as he was knocked out of the sky, blood gushing out of his nose. He fell to the deck, his broken glasses landing beside him.
"H-He got him!" Chopper exclaimed.
The old man quickly stood up and hopped onto the railing of the ship.
"Oh my, oh my!" he said, sniffling as blood dripped from his nostrils. "What pain! Oh, what pain! But it was worth it! For I've finally found the perfect cloth!"
He held up a red ribbon for the crew to see.
"AH!" Luffy yelled, grabbing his hat, which was now missing its ribbon. "HE TOOK MY RIBBON!"
"What amazing cloth!" the old man exclaimed, inspecting the ribbon gleefully. "Such a fine fabric, and it's imbued with so much haki! I've never seen a finer piece of cloth!"
"Give it back!" Luffy shouted, annoyed, throwing another "Jet Pistol!" at the old man.
The old man flung his arms up in front of him and a black cloth formed between them, shielding his face. The moment Luffy's punch reached the cloth, his arm went limp.
"Ho ho ho!" The man laughed. "This is a special impact absorbing cloth I stole from the lab of one 'Doctor Vegapunk'! Attacks are useless against it! Now, I must be going!"
The old man jumped off the railing and a huge parasail burst out of his back. The sail was immediately picked up by the wind, lifting him up into the sky.
"HE'S GETTING AWAY!" Franky boomed.
"NO!" Nami shrieked. "We have to stop him! He took all our clothes!"
"Thank you for this fine ribbon!" the old man called down to them as he ascended. "With this, my life is complete!"
As the enormous parasail was drawn taut by the wind, it became apparent that it consisted of hundreds of separate sails all sewn together, each with their own skull and cross bone design.
"I-I've heard of this man!" Robin exclaimed as she covered her body with her hands. " 'The Sail Stealer'! He's an infamous pirate who steals the sails off of ships! His legend is over sixty years old!"
The Straw Hats, all of whom were now naked, watched in disbelief as the old man disappeared into the clouds with their clothing.
"He…He's gone…" Nami whispered, backing up against a wall.
"WHO WAS THAT!?" Usopp shouted as he stumbled out onto the deck, covering his groin with one hand and grabbing his aching bottom with the other.
"MY RIBBON!" Luffy cried, falling to his knees.
"OUR CLOTHES…!" Sanji bellowed, scouring the deck for any remaining trace of fabric.
Nami quickly stumbled into the women's quarters.
"T-The sails look like they're still in good enough shape…!" Franky announced as he hurriedly inspected them from the base of the mast. "But they have holes in them! They won't be able to pick up wind very well!"
"THAT STUPID OLD MAN!" Luffy yelled angrily.
"THE SHEETS TOO!" came Nami's voice as she stumbled back onto the deck. "The bed sheets and the mattresses are all gone!"
"UWOOOOOOOOOOH!" Sanji's voice echoed through the vessel as he finally noticed the naked Nami and Robin.
"YOHO! YOHOHO! YOHOHOHO!" Brooke exclaimed ecstatically as he noticed them as well, hopping into the air and clapping his feet together.
"W-WAH!" Usopp added, nearly falling on his face.
"IDIOTS!" Nami shouted. "THERE'S BIGGER THINGS TO BE CONCERNED WITH RIGHT NOW!"
"B-B-BIGGER!?" questioned an enraptured Sanji, blood gushing out of his nose. "I-IMPOSSIBLE! THERE'S NO WAY!"
"Y-YEAH!" Usopp agreed. "NO WAY!"
"I really am dead!" Brooke exclaimed, blissfully jumping up meters into the air. "Heaven! This must be heaven!"
"Wait…!" said Franky. "If that guy even took our bed sheets, that means we have nothing to cover ourselves with!"
"WHO CARES!?" Sanji exclaimed joyfully. "NAMI-SAN! ROBIN-CHAN!"
"YEAH! WHO CARES!?" Usopp agreed, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he gazed at the nude females.
Robin hastily crossed her arms over her chest. "Seis Fleur."
Two hands popped out of Sanji's, Brooke's, and Usopp's heads, covering their eyes.
"AH! NO!" the three shouted together.
"I can't believe this!" Nami snapped, backing into her room and hiding behind the inside wall of the doorway. "Perverts! Do something about this!"
"My ribbon…!" Luffy whimpered, on his hands and knees. "It's gone…! That stupid old man! I don't like his stupid animal drawings anymore!"
"God, this is dumb…" Zoro muttered, slapping his head.
The crew was gathered in the dining room. The men sat around the dinner table while Nami and Robin sat on stools behind the kitchen counter.
"So that old man had an ability that let him eat cloth…?" Usopp asked, rubbing his chin. "And he ate all the cloth on the ship?"
Sanji bit down on his cigarette, trying to keep from staring at Nami and Robin. "Y-Yeah…" he replied. "That freak took everything except the sails…"
Zoro sighed, resting his head in his hand. "So we have nothing to wear for now. It's not such a big deal, is it? Resisting the cold will be good training."
"…But…it seems like it's going to be a while before we reach an island…" Franky commented, leaning back in his chair while making no move to cover his exposed privates. "We were already a few days away from the next island, and with those holes in the sails our speed has been halved, at least. We might not reach land for a week or two…That's a long time to deal with the cold."
"The cold isn't the problem here!" Nami huffed. "This area of ocean is located between three summer islands, so it should remain relatively warm! The problem is…!"
"Yes…" Robin agreed. "The problem…is that there are women aboard this ship…"
Sanji pursed his lips and tried with all his might not to look in the direction of the two females, knowing that if he saw them he most likely wouldn't be able to avert his gaze. "Y-Y-Yeah." He said in an agreeing tone, sweat dripping down his face. "T-T-This is a s-s-serious issue...! T-This must be v-very hard on you two…!"
"What are you sweating for?" asked Zoro, grimacing.
Sanji bit his lip. "Shut your face, sea weed!" he snapped.
"Anyway, what are we supposed to do about this?" asked Usopp. "Luffy, you're the captain. Don't you have any ideas?"
Luffy, still depressed over losing his ribbon, sat draped over the table, unconcerned with his crew's predicament. "Hmmm…" he mumbled lazily.
Silence fell over the room as a familiar awkwardness returned.
"…What are we going to sleep on?" Chopper asked after a moment. "The sheets and mattresses are gone…"
"What are you talking about?" asked Zoro. "Men don't need beds. We can sleep on the floor."
"And what about us?" asked Nami.
Zoro tiredly eyed the two girls for a moment. "You're women aren't you?" he said with a sigh. "You can just sleep on each other."
"What do you know about women!?" Nami snapped.
Brooke, in his own way of being gentlemanly, was remaining quiet while staring intently at Nami and Robin.
"Well, if it's so warm out there," Franky said, putting his hands behind his head as he leaned back further in his chair, "we can all just sleep out on the grass."
"You expect us to all sleep together naked!?" Nami exclaimed. "You're all just being perverts! Franky, stop sitting like that! And Brooke, stop staring at us!"
"You know, Zoro's right." Franky said, remaining in his exposed position. "Being naked really isn't such a big problem. We only need clothes to keep us warm, and right now the weather's doing that for us."
"I don't really care about not wearing my shorts." Chopper stated, rubbing his hat. "I used to be naked all the time…"
"I don't need my clothes…" Luffy whined. "I just want my ribbon back…"
Robin reentered the conversation. "Keeping warm isn't the only reason people wear clothes…" she said hesitantly. "…Males and females cover themselves to keep their respective desires under control…"
"D-Desires…!" Sanji squeaked, his body stiffening at Robin's mention of the word.
Zoro yawned. "I don't know what 'desires' you're referring to, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't group me with that curly crotched voyeur." The swordsman proceeded to hold up his Wadou Ichimonji. "My only desires rest with this."
"What the HELL did you just say…!?" Sanji snarled, standing up and slamming his hands over the table as he glared across at Zoro.
"Geh." Zoro cringed, looking away from Sanji's gonads. "Aren't you ashamed as a man to be sitting there sweating and stroking yourself, just because some women are nearby?"
"WHO THE HELL IS STROKING HIMSELF!" Sanji exploded. "AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A VOYEUR!? At least I HAVE an interest in women and I don't spend all day romancing a sheath!"
"…Do you want to die…?" Zoro asked, grabbing the handle of his blade.
"Will you idiots stop it!" Nami shouted. "Luffy! You're supposed to be the captain! Do something about this!"
Luffy remained slouched over the table, replying only with a grumble.
"You all don't seem to be taking this very seriously…" Robin commented, a tone of worry in her voice.
Usopp crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, even if we think about it, there's nothing we can do." he said. "All the cloth on the ship is gone. We're obviously just going to have to deal with this."
"Just get used to it." Zoro said, not breaking from his glare with Sanji.
"How are we supposed to get used to this!" Nami exclaimed. "We're NAKED!"
Franky scratched his chin. "It doesn't bother me..."
"Of course it doesn't bother you!" Nami snapped. "You're a pervert!"
"A-Am I a pervert too…!?" asked Chopper, glancing down at his fur-covered nether regions.
"You're an animal." Usopp replied. "Animals can't be perverts."
"This is going to have bad results." Robin warned.
"Don't worry, Robin-chan." Sanji said as he tried to burn a hole in Zoro's head with his glare. "If there's anyone on this ship with bad intentions, you can count on me to protect you from them."
"So it's decided then!" Franky announced with a noticeable tone of satisfaction. "From now on, we'll be the "Exposed With the Pride of a Lion" pirates!"
" 'From now on'…?" Zoro questioned.
"Ah! That sounds cool!" exclaimed Luffy, forgetting his sadness as he shot up in his seat.
Chopper's eyes lit up. "Yeah! That sounds cool!" he mimicked. "The Pride of a Lion!"
"IT'S NOT COOL AT ALL!" Nami shouted. "WHAT IF SOME ONE SEES US LIKE THIS!?"
"If we run into another ship, that'll be a good thing." said Zoro, scratching his back. "We can take their clothes."
Luffy jumped to his feet, completely rejuvenated. "Sanji!" he shouted. "Our crew has a new name now! We need to celebrate! Cook all the meat on the ship!"
Sanji stood up with a sigh. "I guess I'll make breakfast now…Nami-san, Robin-chan, you two should eat. You'll feel better afterwards!"
"Ahhh…!" Nami whimpered, collapsing over the kitchen counter, exasperated.
To Be Continued