Light waves splashed against the wooden frame of the Thousand Sunny as it continued to spiral inward toward the sparkling lights. The sounds of gusting wind from the surrounding hurricane could be heard off in the distance. The six awake members of the Straw Hat crew were gathered at the front of the ship, focused on their current predicament. Unbeknownst to them, a great event was about to take place, one that would shake the entire world…
"IDIOT!" Nami's roar echoed through the ship, immediately followed by a loud *thump!* as Luffy's head collided with the deck.
"GAH!" Luffy hollered, clasping his scalp in pain.
"What do you mean, MARRY you!? What kind of stupidity is this!? How can this even get any stupider!?"
Nami huffed again and again as she stood over Luffy, furiously clenching her fists. She quickly glared around at Zoro, Franky, and Chopper, the three of whom were still taking the scene in with minor shock.
She seethed, "All of you men…! Running around with your pants off, acting like horny dogs…!"
"H-Hey, you don't have any pants on either!" Franky was quick to point out, instantly earning him his own fist in the face, which sent him flying back into the railing.
"You're all going to regret this day…!" Nami seethed further as her face took on a dark expression. "Doing this to Robin and me…! Getting us into this situation…!!"
Zoro frowned, feeling indignant. "How was it that we caused this situation? From what I saw, we only got sucked into that hurricane because you were too busy flirting with that hairy pirate and shouting at us to see it coming. As the navigator, wasn't that your job?"
Nami's anger began to erupt inside her, and just as she was about to strike Zoro down, Luffy yelled,
"Wait! Nami! You didn't answer my question!"
Luffy rubbed his head as he stood up, staring at Nami questioningly. Nami snapped around to face him.
"What…are…you…TALKING ABOUT!?" she thundered as her body shook in anger, ready to explode.
"…Like I just said," Luffy continued, bewildered by her rage, "I love you. Do you want to get married?"
"Wha…!" Nami fumed, glaring at Luffy with a mixed expression, but feeling her rage quickly start to dissipate, "…What are you saying!"
A few seconds passed in silence while Luffy stared at Nami earnestly. Nami's breath caught in her throat after a moment and her tensed muscles suddenly relaxed of their own accord. She took a step back in surprise, but continued to return Luffy's stare, her eyes widening.
"…Do…Do you even understand what you're saying!?" she let out.
Luffy smiled but maintained his confused look.
Nami's face turned a brighter shade of red, but it wasn't clear if it was out of embarrassment or anger.
She continued to frown as she spoke. "…What-…Where…Where did this come from…!? Are you thinking clearly!? Aren't you just horny!?"
"Horny?" Luffy reiterated, tilting his head to the side as he searched his vocabulary for the vaguely familiar word.
"…Oh. No, I was a little while ago, but I'm not horny anymore." He concluded after a moment, at the same time pointing at Franky and Zoro. "If I was horny, I'd look like them down there."
At Luffy's comment, Franky lifted himself up from the rail and looked down; Zoro did as well.
The cyborg and swordsman each swiped a hand down to cover their saluting members and whipped around to face the sea. As Franky voiced some excuse involving cola and Zoro shouted a curse and how he needed more training, Nami said,
"Of course. I'm always serious!" Luffy reminded her with a big grin.
Robin and Chopper both stood nervously as they watched the scene unfold and waited through another uncomfortable silence. Chopper didn't fully understand the situation, but he could feel the tension in the air. Nami continued after another moment.
"…H-How can we get married!?" she exclaimed, "We're in the middle of our adventure! I thought you wanted to find One Piece! We don't have time for something like that!!"
"Ah! I didn't mean now. I meant later!"
"Then why are you saying this now!?"
Nami smacked her hands over her face, covering her eyes, and made a mixture between a whimper and a growl.
She whined, "I can't take this…! Everyone's being an idiot and there's no clothes and we've gotten trapped in this horrible hurricane…!"
She dropped her hands from her face, shot a quick glare at her male crew mates, then stomped towards the steering wheel.
"THAT'S IT!" she announced angrily over her shoulder as she grabbed the wheel. "You've all lost your speaking privileges! Until I say it's okay to talk again you're all going to shut up! I'm not taking any more of this humili--!"
"AH! Nami!" Luffy interrupted, pointing at something.
"Be quiet!" Nami ordered, spinning back around to face the front then gasping and covering her face with her arms as she was blinded by sparkling lights. The ship had finally reached the lights at the cyclone's center.
"O-Oh!" Franky shouted. "We've reached those lights! Surely something SUPER is gonna happen now!"
The sphere of lights lit up, momentarily blinding the crew. Nami hollered and covered her eyes. After a few seconds the brightness died down and the crew was able to look back at it. Each sparkling light in the sphere now showed a part of Nami, like reflections on broken mirror fragments. The sparkling fragments rotated around the sphere's center, where Nami stood.
"W-What just happened!?" bellowed Chopper.
Zoro shielded his eyes with a hand and squinted as he tried to get a better look at the phenomenon. After a second, he noticed something strange and glanced up.
"Wow! It's really bright!" Luffy shouted, looking upward to avoid the light. "-AHHH!"
"Oh no!" Robin gasped as she saw the sky as well.
Franky followed their gaze. "-S-SUPER…!"
Nami stumbled out of the sphere of lights, which was now staying in one place at the helm as the ship rotated around it.
"What…" she muttered, rubbing her eyes. Her eyesight returned after a few seconds. She saw that everyone was staring upward. She looked up as well.
"Wait! Nami!" Robin shouted, hoping to stop her in time. "Don't look…!"
"…Eh…" Nami breathed, her mouth slowly opening and her eyes slowly widening.
Luffy, Zoro, Franky, and Chopper all rapidly turned to her and gaped.
Nami's body twitched as a shiver struck her and the realization of what she was seeing hit her.
"E-Eh…!" she squeaked, blushing like a little girl.
Above them, high, high up in the sky, stretching out from horizon to horizon, was a huge projection of Nami's unclothed figure, rotating and sparkling.
"U-Ugh…" Sanji grumbled as he awoke, the shouts of his crew mates tearing him away from his pleasant dream. As he opened his eyes, he felt an uncomfortable pain in his stomach, and so sought to steady himself by sitting upright. Before he could regain enough wit to realize where he was, however, the cook found himself falling through the air after slipping out of the hole in the sail he had been plunged into. He hit the grassy deck with a thud.
His landing was immediately followed by Brooke's, who had made the same error as he awoke and fell from his lodge in the crow's nest's window. He landed with a "YOHO!" and a quieter thump, shards of glass falling beside him.
"Brooke!?" Sanji exclaimed as he clutched his rear.
Brooke shook his skull to steady himself, then quickly stood up and looked around.
"Hm?? Oh?? Where are we now?"
Sanji stood up as well and hastily took in his surroundings.
"Is this…the inside of that cyclone!?"
Brooke scratched his bony chin.
"Strange. I can't seem to recall how we got here…The last thing I remember, we were approaching a ship of pirates, and then I must have dozed off because I had the most lovely dream. Robin-san was in it and I believe you were in it too…"
"AH!" Sanji exploded, grabbing his head and clenching his teeth. "ROBIN-CHAN! WE…!"
The cook bolted towards the main mast and slammed his head into it, spattering blood out over the grass.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" he roared, smashing his head against the mast again and again. "Robin-chan! Robin-chan, I…! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!"
"Ehhhhhhhhh!?" Brooke hollered, "I thought that was a dream! Are you saying I actually did such an ungentlemanly thing to Robin-san!?"
"GYAAAAAAA!" Sanji bellowed, dropping to the grass and sticking his face in the soil. He began eating the dirt.
"I shall atone for this crime with my life!" Brooke announced, pulling out his sword and impaling his ribs with it. "Ah! Curse me! I'm already dead!"
"Curse me! Curse my foul, heartless existence!"
After a few minutes spent shouting and injuring themselves, the skeleton and cook regained enough of their senses to think clearly. They stood next to each other, their backs against a wall.
"We've…done something abominable." Sanji said, glaring at the ground. "Robin-chan will probably never forgive us for this."
"Indeed…" Brooke agreed. "We have truly committed a horrible crime against the title of 'gentleman'. I hereby denounce myself as one!"
"Even if we spent the rest of our lives making it up to her, that wouldn't be enough…!" Sanji snarled, continuing to glower at the ground.
Brooke nodded. "Quite true. If I could take my life now I would!"
Sanji nodded as well and looked up at Brooke with a grave expression. "Right, Brooke, that's where I have an idea...Since you've eaten a Devil's Fruit, all we'd have to do to kill you is drop you in the ocean. We can do that, and then in order to make our amends to Robin-chan, I'll present her with your corpse and my lifelong services as her servant."
"…I…I see…" said Brooke.
Sanji nodded again and took a step forward. "Anyway, before that, we both need to apologize to her. We need to convince her and show her that we're truly remorseful. Never again will we look at a female with lust."
They had just started for the stairs when something caught Sanji's eye. He looked up.
A low, mighty sound reverberated from the depths of the cook's chest, coming out as a heavy "OH." He dropped his arms to his sides and fell to his knees, staring up at the sky with the face of one who had just looked into the eyes of God. He brought his hands together in prayer.
"Hm?" Brooke questioned, following Sanji's gaze.
"That sphere of lights must have somehow cast her image into the sky!" exclaimed Franky, gaping back and forth between the sky and the sphere.
"Nami!" Robin shouted as she reached the speechless, now timid navigator and grabbed her shoulders. Nami's face was as red as an apple. She stared at the image in the sky, her lips quivering.
"A-And that projection…! It's huge!" Franky went on, "It looks like it goes all the way into space! Something that big…It's got to be visible halfway around the world!"
"Ahhh…Ahhhhhhh…!" Nami whimpered, a tear leaving her eye. She abruptly turned on her heel and tore herself from Robin's grasp, stumbling across the ship to the women's quarters, throwing the door open, and running inside.
"Nami! What's wrong!?" Luffy shouted after her.
"We have to find a way to make it stop projecting!" Robin exclaimed.
"I'll do it." Zoro declared, unsheathing and pulling back his sword. In a moment, a blade of light was flying from the swordsman's katana. The blade passed through the sphere without effect, though a momentary flash of light appeared and then disappeared in the sky. Nami's projection remained.
"That's not going to work…!" Robin shouted. "But there has to be another way!"
Luffy looked at the sky menacingly. "So that's what's making Nami sad!?"
Usopp suddenly stumbled up onto the helm, panting. Streams of blood were pouring down his legs from his hind quarters, which now had red sores all over them from the syringes he had just pulled out. The sniper was grinding his teeth and glaring between the sky and the rest of the crew.
"What the hell is that!?" he snapped, pointing up while leaning against a cabin wall to support himself. "I told you I couldn't take any more excitement! I said it! I'm about to bleed to death! Are you all trying to kill me!?"
"I've got it!" Franky proclaimed, ignoring Usopp and heading towards the sphere. "I'll go into it and then girly's image will be replaced with mine! This is perfect! Now the whole world will bear witness to the true pride of the Exposed Lions!"
"Ohhhhh!" Chopper hollered, impressed.
Just before Franky reached the sphere, Luffy pushed him out of the way.
"No! I'll do it! If that's what's making Nami sad then I need to get rid of it!" the captain declared with a snarl, stomping up into the lights.
"Ah-Hey! No fair!"
The lights lit up again when Luffy reached their center, and just like before, the surrounding crew members were all momentarily blinded.
A few seconds later, as the light diminished, Chopper shouted,
"D-Did it work!?"
"…No." Zoro answered plainly as he caught first sight of the result.
"…Eh…" Robin muttered with a tone of nervousness as her vision cleared up enough for her to see the new image as well.
"Ghhhrrrrrgh!" Usopp growled in contempt as he stared at the sky and fought his anus's attempts to leak more blood. "WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!?"
Franky raised an eye brow at the new projection. "…This isn't quite what I was imagining…"
Replacing the previous projection of Nami was now a projection of both Nami and Luffy, their nude bodies moving against one another and rotating in the wide expanse of the sky.
Luffy dizzily blundered out of the sphere, rubbing his eyes as they recovered from the flash.
"What happened!? Is Nami out of the sky now!?"
"NO YOU DOLT!" Usopp bellowed, limping up to Luffy and smashing him over the head. "YOU JUST MADE THINGS WORSE!"
"A-Are Luffy and Nami mating!?" Chopper exclaimed, staring at the new image in wonder.
Zoro started walking away. "I've had enough of this. I'm taking a nap."
"LUFFY!" came Sanji's roar. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO NAMI-SAN!?"
The enraged cook stampeded past Zoro toward Luffy, infuriated at having his religious experience destroyed by this horrifying new scene in the heavens.
Brooke hopped up behind him, two stripes of red dribbling down his skull and chest bones from his nasal cavity.
"May I ask what is happening?" the skeleton inquired. Before he could get an answer, he began to wobble and reached out to the railing to hold himself up. "Oh my! I seem to have lost too much blood! YOHOHO!"
Sanji leapt through the air and kicked Luffy in the face. The captain fell back with a yelp and rolled a ways down the deck, then yelped again and dived out of the way of another one of Sanji's bombardments as the fuming cook pursued him.
"I've lived a long time, but I've never seen anything so…otherworldly! And arousing!" Brooke remarked, leaning back against the rail as he gazed up in awe. "Could this be a dream…?"
Franky began making his way back towards the lights. "It's no dream! Those lights show whatever is in them to the whole world! And now it's time for FRANKY to enter the scene!"
The cyborg pounced at the sphere and was about to reach it when Robin made two of her arms sprout around his legs, tripping him. For good measure, she stopped Sanji as well, sprouting an arm around his legs and back and sending him face down into the deck.
"Anyone else entering those lights will only make things worse." She stated. "The projections will probably fade eventually…All we can do now is wait for that to happen!"
Brooke scratched his afro contemplatively as he continued to look up. "…I-In any case, it appears the legend surrounding this cyclone was true after all…Anyone who reaches the center…will certainly become famous throughout the world!"
East Blue – Kokoyashi Village
"Nami-chan…! It's Na-chan!"
"She's in the sky!"
"And she's naked!"
The villagers of Kokoyashi stood outside their homes, staring up in disbelief at the enormous image of their friend floating above the clouds. A scarred, moustached man ran through the streets, pushing people back into their houses and yelling at them.
"Get back in your houses! All of you!" ordered Genzo furiously. "Stop looking! You there! Stop looking! You too!"
The old man clasped his hands over his head, not knowing what to do.
"Gen-san!" Nojiko exclaimed, running up to him. "W-What's going on!? Why is Nami in the sky!?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" he bellowed, sweat pouring down his face. "But…! But! This is terrible! This is a disaster! Such a scandalous image…! WHY IS SHE NAKED!?"
"AH! It changed!" a villager boomed, pointing upward.
"AHHHHHH!" Genzo roared, biting the tip of his lip off as he saw the sky image's new addition. "THAT BRAT! WHAT IS HE DOING TO NAMI!?"
"Eh…!?" Nojiko gasped, staring up as well. "A-Are they…!?"
The island erupted in shouts and gasps, people all over rushing into the streets to view the erotic spectacle. Genzo bounded for the prairie.
"Where are you going!?" shouted Nojiko, running after him.
"OFF TO SEA!" Genzo declared. "I'M GOING TO KILL THOSE PIRATES!"
"Uwah! It's Luffy!" shouted a villager.
"Why's he in the sky!?"
"Why is he naked!?"
"He's got a girl friend!"
"Way to go Luffy!
Grand Line - Alabasta
"Vivi-sama! Wait! Don't come out!" Igaram pleaded as Vivi came running towards the castle balcony. "This is no sight for the eyes of a princess!"
"I heard someone say 'Straw Hat'!" Vivi exclaimed. "Are they here?"
She reached the balcony and quickly looked around. "Where are th-"
The princess stopped mid sentence as she caught sight of the moving forms above her.
"Wha…!" she gasped as she looked up, blushing. "N-Nami-san!? Luffy-san…!?"
King Cobra ran up behind her. "What's going –AHH!"
The king's feet left the floor and he fell onto his back, blood squirting out his nose.
"The entire kingdom must be able to see this!" Igaram bellowed as he covered Vivi's eyes. "What are those pirates doing…!?"
The emergency alarm was sounding throughout Marineford as panic broke out across the island. Men were staring at the sky, mesmerized. Some marines were being called to their stations to prepare for battle. Citizens were ordered to stay in their homes, but most ignored the order and crowded the streets to get a better view.
"What the hell is that!?" roared a captain.
"Are they having sex!?"
"It's not just here! Reports of that foul image in the sky are coming in from all over the world!"
"Pirates! They're pirates! It's the Straw Hat pirates!"
A Vice Admiral slammed his fist into a wall, glaring at the sky. "God damn pirates…! Showing us such a heinous sight!!"
"Bwah!" hollered Garp as he looked out a window. "L-Luffy's really going at it!!"
"Damn you Garp…!" Sengoku seethed from behind him, his eye twitching. "That brat's past offenses were one thing, but this…! Is this how you raised your grandson!? Do you have any idea what kind of effect this filthy display will have on the world!?"
"…A-Am I going to be a great grandfather soon…?"
Down at the plaza, Admiral Akainu was rallying up a mass of marines.
"We can't let this sickening display of unrighteousness go unpunished!" The Admiral boomed. "According to our history records, the only place from which this wicked act could have been executed is the Summer Island Cyclone! Send a fleet there immediately! Leave none of them alive! In the name of unyielding justice!"
Robin slowly approached Nami in the women's quarters for the fifth time that day. The navigator was curled up in a corner of the room, staring blankly at the wall.
"Nami…" Robin said comfortingly, kneeling down next to her.
It was getting late into the evening now and Nami hadn't yet said a word or moved from her spot. The men were gathered around the door, a few of them looking in.
"It seems she's really upset." Franky commented, scratching his head.
"My ass hurts." Usopp commented, scratching his ass.
Sanji scoffed at Usopp. "Can't you take a second to think beyond your own sullen self! Nami-san is suffering and it's our fault!"
"I didn't do anything." Usopp growled. "I haven't done anything all day but get abused and tortured by all of you."
The sniper glanced down at Sanji, who was lying face-down on his stomach.
"You're the one who got a broken back for molesting Robin."
When Robin tied up Sanji with her ability earlier that day, she had apparently let a little of her anger out and applied more force than was necessary. Sanji's old back wound from Drum Island got reinjured and he had to spend the rest of the day crawling around on his stomach.
"I hope Nami gets better soon…" Chopper said worriedly.
"That thing's still in the sky." Zoro tiredly pointed out, focusing his crew's attention up again.
Now that it was darker, the provocative, moving image of Luffy and Nami was clearer than ever. Their joined figures glowed amongst the stars. Luffy watched it for a few seconds, frowning.
"…Okay. I'm going to cheer Nami up." The captain suddenly announced, facing back into the room. He started walking in.
"Ah-! Hey, Luffy, what are you doing!?" Sanji snapped, trying to grab Luffy's leg to stop him but finding it too difficult to do from his position.
Robin, who still hadn't managed to get anything out of Nami, noticed Luffy walking in.
Luffy walked up next to Nami and sat down.
"Nami." He began, breathing a heavy sigh. "I've decided. We're not going to be naked anymore."
Nami didn't say anything, but Luffy nodded to himself with a "Hm." and continued.
"Also, from now on…"
Luffy creased his faced as he apparently fought with himself to form the words for his next statement.
"…from now on…I'll give you all my food every night at dinner."
Luffy crossed his arms over his chest and thought for a second about what to say next.
"…And…And also, when you guys are all wearing clothes again, I'll still stay naked wherever we go so people will forget that you were naked."
Nami moved a little.
Luffy took on a deep frown for a moment, then nodded again and said what he had been mainly planning to say.
"And I won't ask you to marry me anymore. Since it makes you mad."
Luffy's face fell again and he looked down. His expression started to turn exaggeratedly sad.
"Even though I love you, it's not like getting married is the only fun thing to do…" he said in a slightly wavering voice, "Instead of getting married, I can…stand in the wind…or kick rocks on a beach…or…lay in the mud…" Luffy's voice dropped to a mumble, and it started to seem like he was talking to himself more than to anyone else. It also seemed that he had forgotten what other fun things there actually were in life.
"…Anyway, you should be happy! So think about the things I said and feel better." He finished in his best mock-intelligent voice. He took off his hat and put it on Nami's head just as she began to turn.
"You can wear this." He said, standing up and nodding. "Until you feel better."
He turned around and headed towards the door. Nami finally turned to look at him, lifting the rim of the hat up a bit.
"…Luffy…" she said.
Too lost in his own sorrow, Luffy didn't hear her and kept walking.
"LUFFY!" Nami repeated in a bellow.
"WAH!" Luffy hollered, jumping around.
Nami sat up straighter and stared at him for a moment, then she rose to her feet.
"…I never said I wouldn't marry you." She stated.
"Wha…" came Sanji's mutter from the background.
Luffy's face immediately lit up, though he tried to keep his emotion under control, resulting in a ridiculous expression consisting of despairingly sad eyes and a smile stretching from cheek to cheek. Nami narrowed her eyes at him.
"…But that doesn't have anything to do with this situation!" she snapped. "Why are you making me think about you and feel bad…!? I'm the one whose naked body is floating up in the sky for the whole world to see!"
"Oh! I went into those lights after you so now I'm up there too!" Luffy declared happily.
"What?" Nami questioned, hastily stomping through the room and out the door. When she got outside, she looked up.
"See!" Luffy exclaimed. "Everything's better now."
Usopp grumbled. "Idiot."
Nami stared at the continent-sized projections of her and Luffy for a few seconds. The way they moved together in the sky made it seem like they were nuzzling foreheads. Luffy's hand was also slowly moving over Nami's breasts.
"What…" Nami breathed, slowly lowering her head back down to look at Luffy.
"WHAT IS THAT!?"
To Be Continued.