I don't own G.I. Joe. If I did, Ripcord and Scarlett would not have been making out in the movie; Snake Eyes and Scarlett would have. Also, if I owned the rights to G.I. Joe, I would have a LOT more money. Money that I am NOT making writing this fic.

This is fluff. Fluffy fuzzy mature-themed fluff. But then, Snake Eyes has been through a lot in his life, and I thought I'd do something nice for him.


Snake Eyes sighed , and tilted his head a bit to give Shana better access to his right trapezeus. Her fingers dug in, and tension melted away. Mmmm.

"Jesus, Snakes." He heard Scarlett's voice above him; she was straddling his back as he lay facedown on their bed. "I thought ninjas were supposed to be able to relax themselves with meditation. You've got knots on your knots back here."

He moved a hand to talk. *I could…but I like it better when you do it this way.*

A snort of laughter. "You would."

He smiled into his pillow, and sighed again as she worked her way lower. Ahh. He let himself melt a little bit further into the boneless puddle she was kneading him into.

Shana liked to treat him to the occasional massage. She knew both how much he liked them, and that she was one of the few people he would relax enough with to really enjoy the process. What she lacked in training and technique, she more than made up for with sheer affection and thoroughness.

Actually, Snake Eyes couldn't imagine any situation where a naked Shana O'Hara giving him a deep backrub would feel anything but fantastic.

Any time that he got to spend with Scarlett was good time…but tonight had been particularly enjoyable. Both of them had just recently returned from missions, so there was little chance of them being sent out again within the next few days. Snake Eyes had swiped their dinners from the mess hall, and they'd locked themselves in his quarters with a bad 70s kung-fu flick that she'd somehow acquired.

Snake Eyes would never, ever, ever let on to anyone the fact that bad martial art movies were a guilty pleasure of his. He'd watched them with Terry when they were young, and when he'd joined his first Tae Kwon Do class, it'd had more than a little to do with the fact that he'd seen more than his fair share of Hong Kong schlockfests.

Scarlett was the only person alive-including Tommy and Stalker-who knew about his affection for bad martial arts movies. It was a love she wholeheartedly shared, and they had spent many a happy hour snorting with laughter at some of the ridiculously over the top stunts and really impractical moves on their small television screen.

Tonight, however, one thing had led to another, and another, and eventually the movie had been ignored completely in favor of…more acrobatic activities. Which Snake vastly preferred to even the best terrible kung fu movie ever made.

In the warm haze of post-coital cuddling, Shana had suddenly sat up and told him to roll over. Snake Eyes had happily complied, and now was stretched out under her hands as she reduced him to a contented puddle on the bed.

By the time she'd worked her way all the way down his spine, he was only half-awake. He reluctantly opened his eyes as she slid off of her perch on his legs and sat cross-legged beside him.

"Feel better?" She was smiling cheekily down at him. She knew perfectly well the effect that a thorough rubdown had on him. "Well, you're done. You roll over now."

He considered that. *Moving sounds like a really bad idea right now.*

That got a laugh. A really, really wicked laugh, and she had a truly mischievous gleam in her eyes that made her look absolutely adorable. "So, you didn't want the happy ending, then?"

Oh. Well. In that case…

He was on his back so fast that even Shana blinked in surprise. Then she pursed her lips, and that wicked gleam back in her eyes. "Mmmm…sorry. You missed your window of opportunity, buster."

He gave her a hurt look. *Tease.*

"I never claimed not to be."

*That's not very nice.*

"Did I ever say that I was nice?"

*Yes. Shall I list dates?*

"Oh." She wrinkled her nose at him. "Damn your ninja memory. I have been defeated by your Spock-like logic."

Spock…He raised an eyebrow. *You watched Star Trek?* She'd never really seemed the science fiction sort…*Please tell me you don't have a pair of Vulcan ears somewhere.*

She raised an eyebrow in response. "And how would you know what a Vulcan's ear looks like, hmmm?"

*I saw one episode, one time, years ago!* Damn it. She was intel, after all. His childhood geekhood was something that the Joe team never needed to know about. He'd have to kill Ripcord if that one ever got out.

"Mmmhhmm." She made a disbelieving noise. "What was the Horta composed of?"

Waitaminute…*If you know what a Horta is, you, Shana O'Hara, are a geek.* He reached up, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her down to kiss her. *Don't worry. I won't tell.*

She kissed him back, and it was long and slow and full of heat. She made a longing little noise against him, and pressed more closely against his chest.

When they finally came up for air, she moved up to straddle his waist, and smiled down at him. He rested his hands on her hips, and she bent down to nibble at his earlobe.

"Actually, I think that that 'happy ending' offer is still open." She whispered. "Interested?"

He smiled and kissed her again.

Later, after happy endings had been enjoyed by both parties, Snake Eyes fell into a half-doze as Shana snuggled herself up against his side. His brain felt pleasantly fuzzy, and he wanted nothing more than to drop off to sleep right then and there.

And, actually, there was no reason he couldn't. He was just about to do so when Shana moved against his side, propping her chin up in one hand. He reluctantly cracked one eye to look down at her.

"Mmm." She sighed. "That was…Wow."

He smirked. *You are most welcome.*

"Want to finish the movie?"

*You can if you want to. I'm going to fall asleep now.* He closed his eye again.

A poke in his ribs. "What? Falling asleep after sex? That seems suspiciously like a normal man, Snakes. No ancient ninja trick for this sort of thing?"

*Nope.* He smiled, but didn't open his eyes. *Not a one. You have found my only weakness, my love.*

Her lips pressed briefly against his temple. "Actually…falling asleep sounds like a pretty good idea." She settled back down, resting her head on his shoulder. He curled an arm around her, and let himself drop off.

Yes, any time he spent with her was good…but tonight had been exceptionally enjoyable.


I shall post on my not-yet-existent-because-I'm-not-going-to-make-one-until-next-week livejournal account at a later date the full, unedited, and definitely not safe for version of this, for those of you who enjoy smut. You know who you are.

(Don't feel bad. I LOVE smut. So does my fiancé', or at least he loves it when I read/write smut…ahem)