A/N: Due to many requests, I'm doing Grimmjow's review of Harry Potter as a short interlude. Flames will be given to Louis de Pointe du Lac for his personal enjoyment. (Seriously though, I actually really like Harry Potter and the opinions of Grimmjow are not necessarily my own opinions.)
Yo, Grimmjow here. So, Aizen feels like we Espada are somehow "not educated enough" and that the solution is to make us read some Living World books. Which is totally not cool because reading is for losers like Ulquiorra, who wasn't even exempt from the assignment. Besides, who wants to read a book written by a human? Anyway, I would have just pretended to read a book, but Aizen wanted us to write reviews on them, no Wikipedia allowed. And Ulquiorra cero'd my computer, so…
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
So, there's this guy named Harry Potter, right? First impression was that he looked like Ulquiorra: Black hair, green eyes, pale, and skinny-to-the-point-of-anorexic-but-not-really. His parents were, of course, dead (really, can you expect anything different? This is a freaking kids' book), and so he has to spend those awful preteen years being pushed around by his d**che bag of a cousin and aunt and uncle and being hugged by complete strangers.
Then he gets this letter from a guy called Hagrid (think a hairier version of Yammy) inviting him to a magic school called Hogwarts (where is the author chick getting these names?). The rest of that part I kinda skimmed over, but they got his supplies and shit, and then Ulqui- I mean Harry, went to school. Oh, and he's famous now. While there, he made friends with a ginger kid and one of those brainy-but-ugly girls. Can't be bothered to remember their names. I think the girl was "Hermy-own" or something along those lines. He's always being told he has his mother's eyes, like in every single mother freaking chapter. Really, we get that he has green eyes. MOVING ON.
Then Harry made an enemy called Malfoy who's only ever called by his last name. They might have dropped his given name in there someplace, but I missed it.
Oh, and one of Harry's teachers turned out to be a pedo-slash-evil-minion who was physically merged with the Dark Lord himself and wanted to destroy Harry once and for all while taking over the wizarding world with a magical rock. He was creepy, like Ichimaru creepy.
They play sports on broomsticks.
And, that's all I can remember. Ciao!
A/N: So, an explanation. I kind of like writing in Grimmjow's PoV- he seems to me like the kind of person who just randomly throws stuff in as he remembers it. I'm thinking of branching off this series by having other Espada review other books. (After, of course, Szayel reviews Breaking Dawn.)