Our House

Name of Song and Artist of Inspiration Song: It Must Be Love – Madness

Disclaimer: The characters belong to S.M. I'm just playing with them

Thanks to RowanMoon for being the best Beta a newbie to FF could ever hope for.

Originally Written for NaughtyHeels Anonymous One-Shot Contest

Our House

It must be Love -- Madness

I never thought Id miss you
Half as much as I do
And I never thought Id feel this way
The way I feel
About you
As soon as I wake up
Every night, every day
I know that its you I need
To take the blues away

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

How can it be that we can
Say so much without words?
Bless you and bless me
Bless the bees
And the birds
Ive got to be near you
Every night, every day
I couldn't be happy
Any other way

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

As soon as I wake up
Every night, every day
I know that its you I need
To take the blues away

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

It must be love, love, love...

"Yes Jasper yes! I need it!"

I bucked my hips harder against him, my thighs hitting his cheeks while I drove deeper into him, diving, exploring, loving, living. My hands holding his hips like I'm trying to stop the world from spinning, keeping us forever in this moment. A photograph of brief perfection. I felt the tug of my orgasm building deep in my balls and my stomach muscles clenched. I will carry this with me always.

"Now honey" I gasped "I can't...please cum with me sweetness." He shuddered at my words and cried out again and I felt him go, spilling onto the bed in front of us as the heat traveled down my cock like a live wire and I spasmed deep inside him. I stayed still for a few moments, not wanting to lose the connection or the feel of him so close to me. I groaned and touched my forehead to his back, glistening with sweat and listened as his pants subsided. I felt hot tears splash onto my cheeks.

"God Edward I love..."

My eyes opened and I was staring at the wall of my bedroom.


I was dreaming again. Damn damn damn.

Edward and I were best friends all through high school and undergrad and still shared an apartment off campus while we made our way through UDub. Edward was working on his advanced degree in composition – he was fucking brilliant on the piano. I was working toward my Masters in History.

I loved him.

I think I did even back in high school but I was sure of it once we got to college and I realized there was no one that made me feel like Edward did. We came out to each other as seniors and I watched him go through all manner of horrible relationships with shallow bastards while keeping my mouth shut.

I was an ass.

I looked at the clock. 10:00 am. Thank god it was Saturday. I had undergrad papers to grade and I was not looking forward to punishing myself with slogging through their bad grammar and the realization of how little I was able to get them to retain. Freshman. Jesus.

I threw my legs over the side of the bed and scrubbed my hands down my face. Ugh. At least Edward had spent the night at Mike's so I could shower and deal with the massive erection my dream had left for me. I needed to regain some composure before seeing him again. It was like so many mornings. It was draining me.

I got dressed and started a pot of coffee when I heard the door slam and a voice bellow

"Where my homos at?"

"I'm in here Emmett. I think Edward is still out." I sighed. I loved Edward's brother but lord could the boy put a sharp tinge on a morning.

"Is he still trying to make things work with that Newton douche?" Emmett asked in disbelief. I shrugged my shoulders, still trying to pass off my casual vibe. I was famous for that shit, but Emmett always saw right through it.

"When are you going to tell him Jazz? You know how he is. He is going to get his heart handed to him again and it drives me bat shit to see you trying to stay his mellow cohort when I KNOW it's gotta be eating at ya man."

"I don't know Em. He's the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I want to see at night. If I tell him and it all goes to shit, then I don't even have that." I croaked. It was fucked up logic, but I couldn't lose him. Even if all I had was our friendship and this apartment and my dreams, at least I had that.

"Dude, someday he might actually find someone who is going to treat him right and he'll leave and you will still have nothing."

Thanks Em. Put it in a pretty package for me why doncha?

The door slammed again and Edward came storming in. His hair it's usual swirling mess and his clothes rumpled. He looked like he hadn't slept. His eyes were swollen and red.

Oh shit.

"Bro, you look like shit man." Emmett helpfully observed.

"Mike's been fucking Jessica for 6 months! Before we even started dating!" Edward shouted. "He tells me what we were doing was fun and all and if I'm willing to keep it on the down-low we could still see each other." His voice caught in his throat. " I'm such an idiot."

"Hey hey, you aren't, Edward, Mike's a dick. You deserve so much better than that fuck" I said as I stepped forward to calm him. Inside I was screaming. Inside I was plotting Mike's death in a thousand painful ways. Here was this gorgeous creature that wanted so desperately to be loved and some undeserving loser was wanting to keep him as a side thing. A homo vacation. Fuck.

"Jazz, please, I don't want to hear it OK? I obviously don't deserve any better because this shit keeps happening to me," tears threatened to spill down his face and he looked broken. He actually believed what he was saying.

"And it's not like you even KNOW what it's like. Have you ever been in love? Have you even tried to have a real relationship? Shit man, haven't had a date in year!" he shot at me. It was his pain talking, but it pushed at me hard. I had nothing to say to that – well Edward actually I love you. Yeah right. That would be a Kodak moment.

I had been with men. In my past, I had been with quite a few. In the last year however, I just couldn't do it anymore. None of them made me laugh the way Edward did, none of them made me get that heat in my gut when they were around like Edward did. None of them were Edward. So I stopped. No dates, no hook-ups, just this apartment and my dreams and Edward's sweet face every day. It was enough. It was everything.

"Look, I'm sorry guys, I'm a little upset. I'm going to shower and go to campus and practice OK? Jazz, see you later?" Edward looked even more vulnerable if possible and left the kitchen quietly. I heard the bathroom door close and a soft sob escape before the water started.

"Dude, you must love him to put yourself through this man." Emmett shook his head and gave me a shrug before heading out himself.

I stood there alone in the kitchen, my coffee now cold in my cup and my heart wanting to leave my body and join the confederate states in rebellion. I listened to the water running. My mind wandered and I started to daydream:

Edward's gorgeous fingers caressing the keys of of the piano at his senior recital. He played 3 pieces of his own. He was light and music and warmth. Angelic beauty as the stage lights caused his hair to reflect a million different shades of golden umber and reds that made his green eyes flash even brighter on his face. I loved him so much in that moment.

The image turned to Edward coming home after his first date with Mike, flushed, hopeful and giddy. I seethed inward with jealousy that night. It flared hot inside me. I wanted him to be happy with me.

Because I was obviously daydreaming to torture myself -- my thoughts turned what Emmett had said over in my mind...

Instead of Edward coming home this morning with swollen eyes and looking defeated, he was elated and shining, like my recital Angel Edward.

"He loves me!!" He shouted into the kitchen, like a kid on Christmas. "He wants to move in together!" Oh Jazz I've never been so happy. My blood ran cold. My brain floated back to the present, standing alone in our kitchen.

..."he'll leave and you'll still have nothing" Emmett's voice played in my head like sick carnival music. My body was suddenly drenched in sweat and shaking. I turned to the sink and threw up.

I rinsed my mouth and shook the psycho soundtrack out of my head. What was I doing? Did I honestly think that keeping my feelings from Edward was helping either one of us? Did I learn nothing from studying the battle of Gettysburg?

I decided what I needed to do. I pulled my boots onto my feet and shot out the front door. I needed to get to the music building and fix about 10 years of stupidity and put my heart on the line.

Campus was fairly quiet. Not many students were going to waste a Saturday actually doing any studying, the papers waiting for me at home were proof of that. I parked next to Edward's car in the lot of the music building and walked in.

I wandered the hallway containing the practice rooms until I heard it. Rachmaninov's Preludium cis moll was floating sorrowfully in the otherwise silent hall. The rooms were fairly soundproof but muffled strains still managed to filter out and that made the sound even more painful. He always played this piece when he was hurting. My chest jumped into my throat. God I was an idiot. I hope this worked.

I entered the room quietly, he was so absorbed that he didn't notice me. I stood in front of an old couch someone had drug into the room. Edward's eyes were closed but I could see damp tracks on his cheeks. His fingers moved slowly along the keys, pouring his pain into the strings buried in the piano. My tortured musician, my broken angel. Why had I been such a foolish ass for so long?

He stopped playing but his hands did not leave the keys. I sighed. "Edward"

"I'm sorry Jazz," he started, his voice thick and raw from crying and lack of sleep. "I shouldn't have said those things."

"It's OK." I was steeling myself. Can I really risk this? How could I not?

"You said I don't even try Edward, and you're right, just not for the reason you think." My mouth ran dry and I thought I might actually faint. I tried to steady myself so I could fall on my sword and get through this.

"I haven't been with anyone in a year," I started explaining. Here it goes. No doubt he noticed I was never out of the house overnight and I certainly didn't bring anyone home.

I took a breath, trying to steady myself enough to finish "It's not that I don't know what love is, I do. It's you. It's always been you Edward, for as long as I can remember." I swallowed hard. Ready to see where my admission had gotten me

Edward sat for what seemed like an eternity not saying anything, just staring at his hands and at the keys on the piano. My mouth watered, my tongue grew thick and I thought I might throw up again. I located the trash can, just in case.

Edward finally stood and walked to me. I couldn't read his face, was he going to slap me? Walk away from me? Had I screwed this up so badly I really would lose it all? His friendship, his presence in my life? My mind swirled and looped like a falling plane toward the ground.

He put his arms around me and I thought my knees would buckle. I wrapped myself around him and inhaled deeply. He smelled faintly like sweat and soap and...home. I sighed.

"Why?" he asked. I knew what he meant. Why had I not told him? Why had I watched him go through loser after loser, letting him doubt himself and not realize he was the most amazing, creative, loving man that walked the earth?

"I am so selfish. I didn't want to lose your friendship, even if I could never love you fully, I wanted you in my life" I said. My voice was shaking, I was shaking. Please please please

Edward pulled back from me and his eyes bore through me into the very depths. I couldn't breathe, I think my heart actually stopped.

"We're both idiots" he chuckled. What?

"Jazz, all those guys I got so worked up over. All those dumb blondes? I was trying to fill a hole, a Jasper sized hole." He sounded almost defeated. I was confused and trying not to allow myself to hope. Maybe please please please

"Who else knows me better? Who else makes me feel like this? Only you. Always you and I never thought you felt even an inkling of the same thing." He shook his head at himself and chuckled again.

I tried to calm myself and prayed I sounded more like myself than a lost little boy.

"Wait, you mean...?"

"Damn Jasper I love you too."

So much wasted time

I felt a rush as air reentered my body and I wondered if I wasn't going to wake up in my own bed. Again.

"I...tell me this isn't another dream" I practically begged him.

He leaned in an pressed his lips to mine. "Does this feel like a dream?" He grinned against my mouth

"Well...I do have some pretty damn vivid ones where you are concerned." This time I was the one laughing at the silliness of our situation.

He pressed his lips again, this time teasing mine open with the tip of his tongue. My heart exploded as I opened my mouth to him and took it in. Swirling, tasting, burning for him, with him.

He pulled away and I whimpered. He pushed his forehead to mine. We stayed like that for a few moments, breathing in each other, enjoying the close proximity. Edward put his hand under my chin and tilted my head to look me in the eye.

"Tell me" he said. I knew what he was looking for, I tightened my arms around his waist.

"Edward, I love you" I leaned in and kissed his upturned mouth "I love you" another kiss "I love..."

He pushed his tongue in my mouth and interrupted me. I was spun, spinning and sighing and soaring. My tongue swirled and tasted and Edward tasted like heaven and home.

His hands pulled at my hair and my neck as he struggled to deepen our kiss even further. I pulled away for a moment

"Are there locks on these doors?" I managed to rasp.

Edward spun and flipped the lock on the door and came back to me. He pulled me down onto the small couch in the practice room. The dam broke then, hands everywhere, lips, teeth, tongues. I felt tears on my face, it was unreal. I could not believe this man was here with me, loving me, kissing me.

I pulled at the bottom of his shirt, wanting to finally touch his bare skin. He lifted his arms so I could bring it up his body and drop it to the floor. I've seen him without a shirt before of course but this was different. He knew how I felt and I now had permission to do things I had tortured my dream self with for years. I traced my fingers over his shoulders and down his arms. His skin was soft and underneath I could feel his muscles ripple as I teased and traveled back to his chest. I flattened my hands and moved my palms over his nipples, the sprinkling of course hair tickling against my skin and setting my thighs aflame. His breathing picked up and I wanted to do nothing but listen to him make those sounds for the rest of the afternoon. My hands continued their exploration down his stomach and he twitched in response under my fingers.

"Jasper..." he whispered as he tugged my t shirt from my jeans and yanked it over my head. It crumpled with his on the floor.

Our eagerness kicked up and we were struggling with belts, buttons, zippers and denim legs, socks and shoes quickly elevating the mound on the practice room floor. Soon we were naked and panting and I am overwhelmed at the beauty of the man here with me. My Edward. We lay back on the couch and I am kissing and sucking and biting every part of him I can reach. His cock grazes mine and I suck in a breath so quickly I almost choke on it. His body is long and lean and his skin is slightly darker against mine. He moves to hover over me and I stop him. I want to show him how much I love him, how long I have loved and needed him and I didn't want him to lead this.

He quirks an eyebrow at me and I chuckle at myself. "I want...I need to put my mouth on you" I manage through the haze of him that is clouding my mind.

He smirks "And why is your need greater than mine?"

Well, you have me there...

An idea bobs to the surface of my brain and I tell him to turn around. "Bring your cock up here sweetness." I tell him. His eyes darken with understanding and moves his body so we are laying along side each other, mouths to cocks.

"God you are beautiful" I tell him. He twitches slightly and his erection bounces, hitting my lips. YES!

Forcing myself to calm down and enjoy this, I slowly lick a circle around the ridge surrounding his head. Precum making a pearl at the tip. My tongue sweeps it up and I groan at the taste of him. Salty, pure Edward. My dreams have been woefully inaccurate but I can't find it to be sorry for that.

I can feel his hands grip my shaft and his thumb lightly caresses my tip, spreading my own moisture over me. He moves one hand to stroke my balls as I groan again and take him into my mouth. It's almost too much and yet and yet and yet...it will never be enough. Never. He strokes and teases and grabs and pulls slightly and when I think I might just cum at that moment, he sighs and slides his mouth over me. His hot, wet tongue creating a suction that threatens to pull my heart down to my balls.

"Oh Gooooood Edward!" I growl around him and pick up my pace, licking, sucking, sometimes grazing slightly with my teeth as we suck and love each other. My hands start to wander over his hips and lightly brush over his skin, continuing to worship and tease the way I have wanted to hundreds of times.

He moves beside me, hips pushing and rocking, loving my mouth while his tongue strokes my cock and makes my heart sing. His hands still tugging and playing me like only he can. My gorgeous piano man. My best friend. My world.

We are getting more frantic as we speed up together. I move my fingers to the cleft in his ass, dipping and seeking then teasing the ridged skin hidden there. Edward gasps and focuses his ministrations once again. I can feel my orgasm starting to build, a column of heat that threatens to scorch me from the inside out. Edward's cock twitches and jumps in my mouth and I keep up my teasing of his opening.

"Jasper...Jasper please" Edward breathes at me "I'm so close." His legs are shaking and his body is covered in a light coat of sweat. My own muscles are straining just as much under the pleasurable feel of his hands and mouth on me.

All I can do is nod my response because rational thought has left my body. I am focused only on the writhing creature pressed to me and everything I want to give him.

"Let go baby." I beg, "I want all of you, I'm there with you" and I pull his cock to the back of my throat.

His hips buck and he shakes and soon I am swallowing his cum and I groan around him while he cries out.

"Jasper! Jasper! God I love you!"

Those words from his lips send me over the edge and I am cumming and gasping and tears slide down my face.

"Oh Edward, fuck! I love you!"

He sits up slightly and moves to join me at the same end of the couch so we are once again eye to eye. We are both still panting slightly and I take his face in my hands. Stunned and thankful and happy.

"Edward, I have no words," I start. He smiles brushing the remnants of tears with his thumbs and kisses me softly.

"I love you Jasper. Thank you for coming here and telling me" he places another kiss on the end of my nose.

"I'm sorry, I was so stupid. I wasted so much time." I spew out in a rush.

"Sh Shhh, it doesn't matter now. We're here now." He runs his fingers through my hair and my eyes close. I am suddenly exhausted.

Edward must feel the same as he sits up and hands me my part of the jumbled mess of fabric from the floor. We dress, stealing looks at each other as we cover our still glistening skin. Edward puts out his hand and pulls me toward the door of the practice room.

"Let's go home"