A/N: I had this chapter all typed out and perfect. What did I then do? Well, I over-wrote it with Chapter 2. Highly annoying. Teach me to pay more attention. So, here is Chapter 1 re-typed.

TITLE: This Courage In Your Eyes

SUMMARY: Isabella Swan loses her parents in a horrific car crash at the age of seventeen. Fostered by Carlisle and Esme Cullen, she withdraws entirely into herself. Carlisle and Esme's son finds it impossible to reach past the brick wall she has built herself, and she remains a shell of her former self. When she meets Jasper Whitlock, a soul even more damaged than herself, the pair embark on a dangerous spiral of self-destruction. If they don't get help soon, if they can't let anybody in, neither of them will survive.

PAIRING: Bella/Jasper

WARNING: Graphic mental torture, scenes of extreme violence and mutilation, self-harm and a rape scene. Rated M for a reason, this will get nasty. Possible lemon, haven't decided yet.




The family step out on Friday nights. They get into their little red Vauxhall car, and they go and see Bella's maternal grandmother. She doesn't know who they are, but Bella doesn't mind. She still loves her grandma. Some days, Grandma knows who she is, and Bella sits at her feet, and Grandma strokes her hair. On the days Grandma doesn't know them, they simply sit, and they tell her all about themselves. Bella doesn't cry as much now, but it still hurts her when she looks at Grandma.

It is Friday night, and they get into their car. Their neighbour waves to them from her front window. She does each day, a habitual greeting. They drive away, Bella in the back, chattering excitedly.

A few miles away, a black BMW X5 is going too fast down a residential street. The old man who walks his dog there every day shakes his head as the car goes past.

"There'll be an accident there, Lassie, you mark my words." The dog looks up, whimpers as though she understands and they continue on their walk. The driver joins the motorway, and he goes too fast. There is almost an accident at the junction, when the black car cuts up a driver, cutting across three lanes of traffic. Horns are hooted, swear words shouted at the driver who is long gone. More than one driver thanks Heaven he braked soon enough.

The red Vauxhall joins the motorway. The carriageway is clear, the father pulls out onto the road. For five seconds, everything is fine. The music plays, the family laugh and talk. And then everything goes black and silent. For Bella, firmly strapped into the back seat, the next six seconds are an eternity. For six seconds, the car rolls, skids along and judders to a halt. When it stops, and she dares to open her eyes, she is faced with the impossible. The entire front half of the car is gone. It has been ripped away, and is sitting two lanes across from her. She is facing traffic, and traffic is building. A man has abandoned his car and he is running towards her. He is shouting for her not to look. But she looks. Her parents are lying in the road. Her father: broken like a doll. Her mother is still in her seat - or part of her is. Her mother has no legs, and the seatbelt has partially severed her head. Bella screams, looks down at herself, sees blood, screams again. She faints, just as the man reaches her side. She hears him tell her he is a doctor, but the darkness is calling, and she faints happily. She wants to wake up and find it is all a horrible, horrendous nightmare. She knows she won't, but she hopes it just the same. Less than six feet away are her parents. Her parents are dead. Even as she faints, she knows that image of her parent's lifeless bodies will be engraved onto the inside of her eyes forever.

She is in a coma for three weeks. She misses her parents' funerals. She doesn't cry when they tell her this. She doesn't do anything. She doesn't speak, she doesn't cry, she doesn't even bat an eyelid when they tell her the driver of the other car survived. He was twice over the legal limit for drink and drugs. He will be tried. He will be pleading guilty, although Bella doesn't know, and she doesn't care. All she sees is her parents lying lifeless.

Her foster family are nice, she decides, but they aren't her family. She declines dinner, she stays in her room. She unpacks and then lays on her bed staring at the ceiling. She is scared, although she won't admit it. She hears the couples teenage son come in. She knows his name already, although he makes no impression on her because she hasn't seen him yet. Only Esme comes in to say goodnight, and Bella's half angry. This isn't her mother, why is she acting like it? She starts the downward spiral by withdrawing. She doesn't want to talk, or be sociable. She's upset. But she won't cry. She'll never cry.