Mario: Hey everybody, it's the Super Mario Sketch Show! Dad a dad a!
Author: And now everybody, it's time for if Mario Kart was more realistic! In the last episode we saw what happened if Super Mario Bros was more realistic, but what about Mario Kart? This episode marks the reappearance of Doctor Walson the doctor and Doctor Smith the vet from my Mario fanfic "A day in Doctor Walson's office" which for people who read that fanfic when it first came out, may have found a few mistakes with how the words were laid out and how it had not been published properly. As of 2nd November 2009, those mistakes have now been corrected along with some other format mistakes found in my fanfics. Damn website and its glitches, to read the Doctor Walson fanfic just click on my username….and now….
If Mario Kart was more realistic!
Scene 1 The Mario Kart Double Dash race tracks.
Mario and Luigi are waiting by themselves for the other racers.
Mario: Yo! Where are the others? We don't have all night to wait for them.
Luigi: You told them the race was on the 20th right?
Mario: I sent everybody an e-mail, and sent them faxes. I don't understand!
Luigi: Hey here's another car, but it looks like an ordinary doctor's car.
A doctor's car drives up to Mario and Luigi and stops, out get a doctor in his 50's with white hair and glasses called Walson and a younger doctor with black hair in his 30's named Smith get out.
Mario: Well…well…hi Walson. I'm still taking those painkillers, what are you doing here?
Smith: A message from Yoshi in the animal hospital, he said to tell you both that the other racers can't make it tonight.
Luigi: What! Why not!
Walson: Well because they're all dead. Well nearly all of them.
Mario and Luigi: WHAT!
Walson: Yes, the last race you had was two weeks ago right? And you had come in 1st right?
Mario: Yes, so?
Luigi (smiling): Oh that was an awesome night.
Walson: You're not going to think that, after I tell you this, I sat watching the race and saw the kind of weapons you threw at the racers.
Mario: Go on.
Walson: Remember that red shell you threw at Peach and Daisy that sent them flying off the cliff into the sea?
Walson: They both drowned.
Luigi (in shock): We killed our girlfriends!
Walson: They went in too deep into the sea upside down, and the Lakitu couldn't get them out and it was too deep to swim to the surface so they drowned.
Luigi (crying): Sob! Daisy…..
Walson: I still remember Daisy's last words I heard before they flew off the cliff. I will quote "Luigi, you asshole son of a bitch!"
Smith: But don't worry, if they hadn't already drowned, they would have got their flesh blown off by the Wicked Brothers, Wario and Waluigi.
Smith: Remember that bomb that Waluigi threw?
Mario: Well no we were well ahead of them.
Smith: Many of the racers were caught in the explosion, it was a horrible gorey mess. It was sad that the Wicked Brothers themselves were caught in the explosion. It was horrible seeing the splattered remains of Wario, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong and Birdo all over the track, and the look on Birdo's face after she got her head blown off, it looked like she had seen hell.
Walson: It's a miracle Yoshi survived. But he's lying in the hospital, horribly burnt, in bandages , in a huge amount of painkillers.
Mario soon joins in crying with Luigi.
Mario: Sob…..Poor yoshi.
Luigi: What about Bowser and Bowser Junior are they ok?
Smith: No…they died from being hit by the front of a truck, what you were doing having a race on a road with traffic going backwards is beyond me.
Walson: The other racers are O.K although some are horribly scarred for life and horribly burnt in some areas of that big fireball you threw at them just before you made it to that finish line.
Mario: What have we done! My god…our friends.
Smith: The other racers as you might guess, don't want to race ever again.
Luigi: Who can blame them?
Walson: It makes me wonder what you two were doing was illegal.
Smith: I think it is, Yoshi said that seeing as it's called "Mario Kart" he thinks that Mario should be locked up for organizing such a dangerous event. The police are on their way now. Luigi too for going along with the idea
Luigi: We're in trouble.
Walson: Well…..enjoy prison you two. Well I've had a hard day treating your friends so I'll call it a day.
Smith: Same here, Walson.
The two doctors get into their car and drive off leaving Mario and Luigi in shock. Police sirens are now heard outside the race track.
And that's what would happen if Mario Kart was more realistic, but if it was much more realistic then that, where would Mario and his friends even get their own race tracks named after them in the first place.