I liked writing everything down from Alec's point of view, so I decided that he very much deserved his own life.

Here it is!

Hello! I'm Alec.

I recently wrote in my sister's diary, but I was officially banned from it because my entry was "stupid" and "gay". I don't think it was. But that is sisters for you.

And to prove her wrong some people did actually like it. I think. I hope.

But anyways I decided to share a typical day for me with you. My idea of a typical day is nothing like Jane's idea of a typical day. Because her idea of a typical day would be torturing someone, yelling at me, torturing someone else, sulking and yelling at me again.

I would say that the relationship (oo-er) between me and Jane is like chalk and cheese. We are both completely different yet we still like each other. In a strange kind of way. And don't say that is nothing like chalk and cheese because... well I don't know.

Now you see, I am nothing like Jane in that I am not violent in any way.

Apart from when I punched Caius in the face.

But that is perfectly understandable and reasonable. And people were amused by it. And Caius is a very punchable person. Which makes everything ok.

So enough about her. This is MY diary. Sort of.

So anyway, the day started in the normal way. A few fat tourists... and I'll skip that part because I understand a few of you might be sick. And no one wants that.

And yeah. I went off to sit in my room and play my guitar for a bit (oh shutup) but I got a bit frustrated and ended up breaking all of the strings on my guitar. Oh well. I was just restyling my hair (I am not vain. Nor am I gay. So you can stop the jokes now. Ok?) because Jane had completely fucked it up. I mean, who has a bowl cut in this day and age? Apart from nerds and... me. Damn her.

Just when I was in the middle of sorting it out Felix burst into my room and flung himself on my beanbag.

"Oh hello Felix, I'm sorry you had to wait so long for me to answer the door when you were so clearly knocking."

Sarcasm is, without a doubt, clearly one of my greatest talents.



"I feel well annoyed."


"Me and Heidi have had an arguement."

"What about?"

"Her tartiness. And Jane."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"It ain't funny mate."

"You... had... an... arguement... about... her... tartiness?" Then I was off laughing again.

"And your sister."

"What has she got to do with anything?"

"Heidi is still in a stress with her about her bloody mirror and so I told her that she should like, you know, call a truce with her and stuff."


"And she went on and on about her mirror and how much it means to her and how Jane is a bitch etc..."

"And what did you say?"

"That she looked like a tart."

I snorted.

"You're kind."

"Well she was annoying me."

"And what did she do?"

"She stropped off stopping only to hit me over the head with a chair."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I dunno."


Then all was silent.


Felix was officially startled beyond words at my sudden outburst.

"I've got it!"

"Got what?"


"Um... what is it?"

"Here's the plan. I use my lurvely power to knock out both Heidi and Jane, then we'll drag them to a room somewhere, slam the door, lock it..."

"They'll be able to knock it down."

"Not with us outside."

"Oh... OH! I see!"

"Yes and we wait for them to sort out their differences... then all will be well and jolly."

"Good plan Batman."

Then he started dancing around the room in a crap way. And before I could stop him, my guitar bit the dust.

"Felix... FELIX!"


"Simmer down... you've broken my guitar, dammit."

And that is a typical day.


Alec Volturi.

P.S. HA! I even stole Jane's signing off thingy. Muahahahahahahaha.... I'm useless at being evil.