A/N: Don't know what possessed me to do this other than Wilson's naked legs. I'll say it's probably on the crackish side of things but hey, you never know when it comes to what House is thinking. I, for one, am going to believe he thought about this while removing Wilson's pants. Hope you enjoy and please let me know if you liked it. Thanks

Fic Rating: T

Fic warning: Implied slash, spoiler for season 6 ep 7

Word count: 500 word one shot

Also, when not in quotes, those are House's thoughts. I'm sure you all would figure that out but thought I put it here just in case someone is confused. Thanks again!!!

The Adventures of De-panting Wilson

"You don't deserve her."

Damn it he's gonna hit his head…gottcha.

"Words, can hurt ya know."




Okay, now that I've got you drugged off your ass, what am I going to do with you? God, shouldn't have said that, now I've got all these hot and crazy thoughts going through my mind…Fuck Wilson, you're heavy. Mental note ; remind you to start jogging more. The things I do to protect you from your own idiocy…dragging your drugged sorry ass across the room to the bed. Oh, and while I'm at it. You know I'm only going after Cuddy because I want sex and you won't stop pushing the damn subject. The shit I do sometimes just to make you happy.

Okay, here we are; the bed. Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to drop you that hard. It's a good thing you're drugged, huh. Now what? How to keep you in the room after I leave to make your speech….Again, the shit I do to protect your sorry, albeit, pretty ass from your own idiocy. I got it! I'll take all of your pants with me. If it were me, I'd show up to make a speech in my boxers, but don't think you will. You're too concerned about what people think of you. Speaking of which, back to Cuddy…damn, how many pairs of pants did you bring? Shit, now I'm going to have to find someplace to stash your suitcase while I do your speech.

Oh yeah, Cuddy. I'm tired of the game, I'm going to her room later to tell her that and then I want you to leave me the hell alone about it. You know, for a guy who prides himself in being so open and helpful, you certainly don't help me when it comes to us finally fucking. Okay, all the pants are packed except for the pair you have on. Trust me; I'm really going to enjoy this. You know, we always screw around about screwing around, I'm not quite sure why we haven't you know…screwed around. Why is your belt so hard to get undone? Anyway, why haven't we? Oh that's right, because you'll claim to be 100% heterosexual, which we both know is bullshit. Well, I rest my case on the heterosexual count; pink boxers with purple stripes…Really? You are such a girl. One more leg…..


Shit shit shit

"You awake Wilson?"

"Noooo, wudya doin?"

"You're dreaming, go back to sleep."

"You're so silly Housey…come back to bed, I'mmmm cooollllddd."


"Commmonnn, I wanna fuck, pleeeasseee?…..wait..why am I sooo tirrredd."



"Huh. Well, that's all the proof I need. Adios Cuddy, I'm fuckin' Wilson tonight!"


A/n: I Hope you liked it, thanks for reading :)