A/n: Okay, so I couldn't leave well enough alone and here is Wilson's pov upon waking up from House drugging him. Again, probably a bit crackish but in my world it really is going to happen (Yes, I'm just that delusional). Just as a reminder; text not in quotes are Wilson's thoughts. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.

Fic Rating: T for language

Fic warning: Implied slash, spoilers for season 6 ep 7 based on promos

Word count: 800 word one shot

Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!

Continuation of "The Adventures of De-Panting Wilson"

The Adventures of De-Panting Wilson-The Awakening

"Ugh..My head; what the hell? Oh yeah….House!"


"Show your face you little weasel!"


"The jerk left me here…how did I get on the bed...wait, where the hell are my pants?"

Ahh, I really shouldn't have tried getting up so fast. My head is killing me. What the hell did he drug me with? Why the hell would he take my pants? Oh shit, my speech; I gotta get down there. Shit shit shit, where are the rest of my pants? He did not take the rest of my pants…. The son of a bitch did. I'm gonna kill him! Answer the phone, answer the ph…

"Housey speaking."

What the hell did he just say?

"House…at this moment, I would like nothing more than to kill you. But because you are my friend and are completely insane, I will turn the other cheek. Now…I…need…pants."

"Which cheek are you turning? The rosy one on your face or one that's nestled in those pink boxers of yours?"

Ah fuck!

"House, your purpose is served; I can't make it in time to do my damn speech so get your ass back here now!"

"Geesh, chill out Wilson; silly Housey is on his way."

"W-what…House? House….? Damn it, he hung up."

Why did he call himself silly Housey. I swear to God, I really think he's losing it again. Silly Hous…ah shit; I didn't…I didn't. Fuck, I did. What else did I say? Think Wilson think, he's going to be back any minute. Silly Housey, Silly Housey….come back to bed…ah fuck fuck fuck! I'll just play it off as a joke. That's it, just a joke. He doesn't need to know that I may have meant it. Who the hell am I kidding; of course I meant it….but he doesn't need to know that. Oh God, did I say anything else? Damn him for drugging me, but it really was a sweet gesture in a horribly psychotic sort of way…stop that! Stop thinking things he does are sweet! Ok, get your head out of the House clouds and concentrate…did I say anything else? I'm cold…I remember saying I'm cold. Well that's understandable without pants on. I wanna fuck….ahhhh fuuucckk!

"Hi honey, I'm home and I come bearing pants."


"Wow Wilson, you look like you've seen a ghost."

Maybe he won't remember, maybe he didn't hear me. Be cool, be cool.


Real cool Wilson.

"Hmm, that's interesting. That a new side effect of the drug that I'm unaware of or are you speechless?"


"Speechless it is…Hey, I went to Cuddy's room before I came here. Did you know she was seeing Lucas? I have to say it was quite a relief. I was ready to tell her that I was done with our little game and just wanted to be friends. Now I don't have to worry about it cause she's already getting some from elsewhere. Cool huh?"

"I…I thought you wanted her?"

"I wanted sex, she just seemed convenient and it didn't hurt that she's hot. Besides I can have sex all I want now and be with the person I want to be with at the same time. Isn't that so much better? Much healthier I think. You gonna put your pants on or what?"

"What the hell are you talking about…who the hell are you talking about?"

What the hell is he talking about…and why isn't he reacting to me saying I wanted to fuck him? Did I actually say it? God, my head hurts…he is so damn cute just standing there though isn't he? Shut the fuck up Wilson!

"Oh come on Wilson, don't play hard to get now. You know you want me. I'm silly Housey…remember what you said? Here, I'll remind you…."You're so silly Housey…come back to bed, I'mmmm cooollllddd. Commmonnn, I wanna fuck, pleeeasseee?"

Oh God…please world swallow me up now…please.

"I was drugged, you were molesting me what do you expect."

"I expect to get some serious action tonight from my new boyfriend."

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God…

"Okay, but I'm on top."


A/n: Thanks so much for reading and I hoped you enjoyed it :)