A/N: I have things I should be working on. In fact, I was working on a sequel to a crackfic I co-wrote with my sister, my chapter fic for Code Geass, AND attempting a NaNoWriMo (which TOTALLY isn't going to happen) when...well my sister spontaneously wrote some angst for post-Twilight Princess. She sent it to me and out of no where I felt like I HAD to write this as a response...so in that regard it's an almost-sequel. I'll get back to work on my other stuff when I find time, I'm not sure how I keep getting all...busy. I never DO anything but apparently I do.
Anyway, here's the fic this follows: fanfiction . net/s/5489786/1/Ache
Warning: Angsty mostly. But it's kind of bittersweet?
Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda or Code Geass. Trust me, you'd know if I did.
Sorrow and grief are intense, overwhelming emotions. There are times when their weight can drag you into a spiraling depression, and depression can bring you to strange and otherworldly places.
Whether through dream or reality, the Hero had ended up here.
It wasn't pitch black, just a dreary sort of gray. Most things were featureless and bland, which only proved to worsen his mood. How long had it been since Midna had left him? It felt like an eternity, and yet another one stretched on before him, threatening to swallow him whole. It was painful to trudge through his life without a reason for living. The world had been dark and dangerous before, but because there had been Midna…he preferred it to the warm, carefree, and safe world they had created. What was the point when your heart was broken?
He found himself standing at the edge of a body of water. Its size seemed immeasurable, a confusing distortion, but upon shaking it off realized that the actual size wasn't important. The water was as gray as the ground he stood on, but he could see his reflection.
Everything about him looked terrible. He was worn ragged and thin, a mere shadow of the heroic idol he had once been. There were bags under his bloodshot eyes and his hair was dirty and tangled beneath a fraying green hat. His clothes were ripped in a number of places and hung like rags draped around his skinny form. He hadn't had much of an interest in eating…or doing anything, really. Here was the consequence staring back at him and he wanted to recoil and cower at the horrifying image.
He was snapped from his thoughts by the sound of crying. At first he couldn't tell where it was coming from or who might have been crying, but slowly, as if a fog was parting, it became clearer. The person was nearby and it sounded like a young girl. The anguish in her tears touched him in a way he hadn't felt since Midna left.
Curious, his worn boots carried him along the edge of the water until he found a very frail looking girl sitting on her knees with her face buried in her hands. She didn't wear shoes and her dress was practically in the same state as his own clothing…but she was covered in patches of blood. Her hair was a very, very light brown, practically ash blonde, and hung down to her waist in gentle waves.
Frozen and unable to think of anything to say to her, he stood stock still and watched her with large, sympathetic eyes.
When she had gotten control of her crying somewhat, she slowly raised her face to look at him. Her skin was so pale and her eyes, big violet eyes, were wet with tears. She had a kind face and looked very young and vulnerable like this. Despite the blood, dirt, and tears dirtying her form and the obvious struggling against her sadness, she gave him a tentative smile.
"…Did you lose someone special, too?" her voice was gentle, uneven due to her sobs, and just as frail as her small body. His throat felt dry, so he simply nodded in response. Suddenly he wanted to cry with her. The person they lost was different, but their feelings were the same.
"It's…really hard, isn't it?" she mused and attempted to rub away some of her tears. New ones replaced them and she sniffled. Even now she was trying to be strong, and he couldn't imagine why…or how she had the energy left to try. "And so…sad…it's so sad. When someone gives everything to make…the world a better place for everyone else…but in the end, they suffered so much and yet…they don't get a chance to be happy in the world they bettered…" She looked at him expectantly, almost desperately, as if needing a confirmation. They were complete and utter strangers in a place he couldn't be sure even existed…but he nodded and kneeled beside her. His eyes stung and his cheeks were beginning to dampen as well.
"It's not fair that…we can't all be happy together. Because…a happy world doesn't exist if they aren't there to share it with you."
As her tears started falling faster again, she reached for him with both small, trembling hands. A pained smile remained on her face. He gave her one of his gloved hands, and the dirtiness didn't matter to either of them; they were both in similar states.
"What was your special person like?" she asked very quietly after a moment of clutching his hand and sobbing.
He looked at her. Her violet eyes studied his face and she nodded slowly.
"Someone you loved very much…in a very special way…at times…they seemed a little brusque, didn't they? They seemed like they didn't care, that they were only doing it for themselves, and they said hurtful things…" it sounded like, while she was talking about The Hero's person, she was also reminiscing. "…but…they were a really wonderful person, weren't they? And even with other friends around…it feels…so lonely now."
He nodded again and looked down. There were times, yes. And then he had understood everything and Midna turned out to be…
"…A long time ago I lost my mother," she explained, catching his attention again. "I lost the use of my eyes and my legs became useless. The only thing I had left was my brother. I made friends…but my brother…was always the most special. With him, I knew that everything would be okay no matter what. I lost more people that I loved, but I had my brother and I clung to that…but…even then…"
It took her a moment before she could go on. He found himself feeling terrible. To lose everything…Had he lost everything? It felt like he had. It felt like Midna had become his everything and now that was ripped away from him.
"It's just so cruel, isn't it? I was finally able to open my eyes in time to watch my most special person die." She was trembling…but surprisingly it was her that moved a hand to touch his cheek.
"It's cruel and unfair…and no one else will ever be able to replace them, no matter what. Time might create a scab over the wound, but it will never stop hurting and it will never go away…"
It sounded so hopeless. What was the point? What was the point of any of it if it ended up like this? What was the point in living if happiness was so short-lived and hard to come by? He didn't want it anymore. There was no point…
"…But what would they want?"
Her soft voice snapped him out of it again. She wasn't crying anymore but the remnants of her tears still remained on her face. Her hand, soft, fragile, and gentle, was still on his face. He was reminded of Midna again and his chest ached.
"They went through so much work to make things right and to build a world where we could be happy. They gave up so much of themselves…they just wanted us to be happy. Without them…will we ever have the same happiness? Smiling is harder now and everything is always hurting, but maybe…there is still some of them left behind for us."
The idea startled him more than it should have, because he knew it wasn't true. Nevertheless her words struck him and his eyes widened.
"They put themselves into this world to make it right with us in mind. Through that…maybe…we can be with them. It's wrong to only think of your own happiness, isn't it, when all they thought about was ours? So maybe now it's our turn to make them happy…I don't know if your special person is the same, but…to make my brother happy, I need to live, be strong, and be happy for him. I can't let everything he did for me go to waste, and I can feel that he's watching me. He would never leave me alone. You can feel your special person too, can't you?"
He was crying again and he wanted to keep on crying and crying like he had been doing so often. Happy…happy…how could he be happy? Without Midna, how could he be happy? But Midna…if it was to make Midna happy…was he really that selfish? Had he really not noticed something like that? She had helped him create this world and now he was casting aside her final gift. Couldn't he smile for her, for that reason?
He couldn't be happy for himself, not ever again, but for his "special person"…for his special person, for Midna, he could do anything.
The girl was smiling at him again, so softly and kindly, with her halo of light brown hair and her glistening purple eyes and he felt a strong kinship with this stranger, this nameless innocent girl covered in blood and as dirty as himself.
Because it was for Midna, and because he was so incredibly grateful to both her and this little girl, Link hesitantly managed a very small and shaky smile – the first once since Midna had left him – while his tears continued to fall.
The tears would never stop falling, not for as long as he lived, and the pain would always be there. He would always feel empty.
But for the sake of making Midna happy and keeping all of her effort from going to waste…he would boldly face the challenge of living every day. He would be strong enough to smile again…because it was for Midna.