A/N- Oh my god, I just found this. It's REALLY REALLY OLD. But I got a laugh out of it, so maybe you will, too. Note that the scenario is mostly a situation where fighting would do more harm than good for whatever reason you can think of. (I prefer to think that they're "captives," however impossible that would be. Perhaps ... in a neutral zone?)
A/N- Well, well... what do we have here? It's another crack situation that even I haven't determined the extent of, but yet again (like with "Tea"), fighting is a no no.
There will be implied yuri, slightly maybe sortof kindof implied yaoi, weird questions and lots and lots of ItaSaku chit chat that's closer to banter (-cough-flirting-cough-).
Ah yes, there's also some implied (one-sided as usual) NaruSaku. Emphasis on "Naru".
Anyhoo, without further adeu, I present to you;
Wow, who knew he could be such a smartass?
"Cookies or cake?" Sakura asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
"What?" Kisame inquired, looking at the pink-haired girl oddly.
"Just answer the question..." She sighed.
"Cookies, I guess..."
"And you?" Sakura inquired after a pause, looking towards their silent companion.
Sighing, Sakura looked over to her own teammates.
"Cake," Sai answered simply, while Naruto shrugged his own answer.
After a minute or so, Naruto spoke up. "Blue or purple?"
"Purple." Sai answered.
"Either." Itachi murmured, eliciting an eye twitch from Sakura, who answered "blue".
"Purple." Kisame grinned, "I see enough blue every time I look in the mirror." He elaborated. "Meat or veggies?"
"Meat!" Naruto grinned, while Sai shrugged and Sakura answered the former.
The four looked towards Itachi, who blinked. "Either."
"Can't you say anything else?" Sakura snapped, glaring at the Uchiha.
"Red or pink?" Sai inquired, sensing a topic change was at hand.
"Red." Kisame answered instantly.
Naruto looked as far away from his female teammate as he could, carefully muttering "Red".
Sakura smiled a bit, staring at Kisame as she spoke up. "I see enough pink when I look in the mirror."
Once again, everyone in the room glanced at Itachi. After a while, his gaze landed on the kunoichi who was currently glancing at him expectantly. "Pink." He stated evenly.
After a long moment, his words (word, rather...) registered, and viridian eyes widened and quickly looked away.
Just as she was about to speak up, a quiet voice beat her to it.
"Wood or metal?"
"Metal," Naruto growled deliberately, glaring at the reason for Sakura's current flush.
"Wood." She answered distractedly, keeping her gaze pointed straight ahead. As the others answered, her mind was drawn into the task of keeping her gaze exactly where it was, and she didn't notice as an awkward silence ensued.
"...Sakura-chan?" Naruto spoke up hesitantly.
Gaze snapping up, she focused on the owner of the voice. "Huh?"
As her face turned a few shades darker than her hair, she happened to notice a small smile on a usually impassive face. Her cucumber eyes narrowed oh so slightly, blush dissapearing as she returned his gaze with a faint smirk. "Family or friends?"
Before anyone even had the chance to answer, the Uchiha spoke up once again. "Black or white?"
"Either." Sakura responded cooly, bringing forth another smile from within the careful mask, "Paintings or sculptures?"
As their companions glanced wildly between the two, confusion and surprise written across their countenances, there was a brief pause that almost went unnoticed.
"Male or female?" Itachi asked at last, amusement barely visible in his dark eyes.
Smirking widely, Sakura let out a brief laugh. "Either." She said finally, meeting those eyes with her own.
Naruto sputtered, and the room fell into a stunned silence.
"You?" Sakura inquired after a small moment of thought, trying not to grin.
A small twitch of his eye was the only answer, at first, then, "I've never thought about it."
"Really? You never got...curious, or anything?"
There was no answer.
"Huh...so, you don't deny that... if you were to try it...there'd be chance...?"
"...Cool." Sakura's grin finally broke through, followed closely by another twitch of the Uchiha's eye.
Through all of this, everyone else in the room, including Sai, was staring at the pair with wide eyes.
"Cold or hot?" Sakura inquired, turning to the room's other occupants at last.
"Hot," Naruto said slowly, staring at Sakura in an odd manner.
"Cold." Kisame muttered, staring blankly ahead and sounding for all the world as if he were saying that it was how he himself felt that moment.
Sai lifted his shoulder, and Sakura turned her gaze to Itachi. Surprisingly, his own gaze was focused on Naruto as if he were understanding something that no one else appeared to, before he moved it back to the original inquirer. The silence that Sakura was beginning to despise reigned as he seemed to debate whether or not speaking was worth it.
Apparently, it was.
A/N- This feels incomplete without an ending note...