Hey, I decided to do another one shot for final fantasy, hopefully this one is a little better than the last one and gets more than one review…but that's alright, it got almost 200 hits which surprised me, I didn't think that many people read in this section. But yeah…on with the fic and hopefully it is funny and entertaining and review worthy ^_^
Disclaimer: I do not own the final fantasy trademark or any of the characters unfortunately…*sniffle*
Zidane was bored, and when Zidane was bored, bad things happened, that was why Squall tied him to a tree when the 10 made camp in a small forest clearing.
"Squall! Please let me down! I solemnly swear that I won't talk Bartz into joining me into doing random things to everyone while they are sleeping!"
"Don't call me that!"
"…You know I'm going to call you that until you let me down."
"If you do call me that one more time, I'll knock you unconscious."
Cecil stood up, "I'm going to go scouting. Does anyone want to come with me?"
"I will." Squall answered, they quickly left and began to scout the perimeter.
"SQUALLY!! SQUALLY COME BACK TO ME SQUALLY!! GET ME DOWN SQUALLY!" Zidane screamed, then sighed, then ever so slightly cocked his head to the poor person next to him. "Oh warrior of light please let me down…" he put on his best pout.
"No, I think you are just fine right there. You are lucky the light saved you the last time you vandalized my armour."
Tidus cracked a grin, "But it was funny…well to me it was." He hastily turned away and busied himself in some random endeavor.
"Writing 'Geriatric' and 'Generic' and sunshines with rainbows and unicorns, not to mention putting random names on my armour isn't funny, nor will it help me remember my real name."
"Think of it like this, we were trying to pimp your armour. You needed colour….we thought the brightness would invoke the light to help you remember." Bartz tried helping his friend out.
"Do you call Sam-Sam a name?"
"Yes!" Bartz exclaimed. "He used to deliver free pizza for 50 gil."
"He was fired from the delivery service 2 hours after Tifa hired him." Cloud stated monotonously.
"Cloud, will you untie me?" Zidane asked with a hopeful pitch to his voice.
Firion glanced up at Zidane, "I will only because enemies could be directed to our location by the noise you are making, but one prank and I'll find some different, more painful way of punishing you."
Zidane squealed, "Thank you rose bud!" as Firion untied him. They all were sitting around the fire they made before and were silent. Zidane wasn't one for silence of any kind and racked his brains for a topic of conversation, there was one thing that was bugging him about one of his companions and he couldn't take it anymore, he just had to ask, "Why are Cecil's lips purple, or at least purple tinged?"
His other companions looked at him but they were obviously considering the question.
"Maybe he drinks too much blackberry juice…" Bartz suggested, "It seriously does stain your lips purple, maybe he's addicted!!"
"Wouldn't grape soda do the same thing?" Luneth asked.
"Nope, just makes your shit green." Tidus grinned. Terra blushed at the vulgarity of the statement.
"I take it this is from experience?" Firion couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah! I drank a case of it in one day, and I guess since it has cabbage juice in it, it reacts with the acid in your stomach and the bases in your intestines to change the color." Tidus explained.
The warrior of light decided to step in for Terra's sake and because he is the chivalrous one of the bunch, "It's not very appropriate to talk about such things when women are present."
"I keep forgetting I'm not with Yuna or Rikku…sorry Terra…" Tidus scratched his head in an awkward fashion.
"It's alright…" Terra answered, "Maybe it's his lunarian heritage that makes his lips that color, it's probably no different than me and my esper form."
"Maybe he has hypothermia." Tidus suggested. "He goes to the Lunar Subterrain quite a bit, and that place isn't exactly warm..."
"Some cancers cause discoloration of the skin, maybe Cecil has cancer." Firion suggested.
Luneth wasn't really paying attention at the time until now, "CECIL'S GONNA DIE?!" tears began to well up in his eyes.
Firion uncharacteristically panicked, "No he's not going to die! All I said was that maybe he has a tumor or melanoma on his face or some sort of disease that makes it that way."
"But he could die!"
"And he couldn't."
"Why are we even talking about Cecil's lips anyway?" Cloud asked.
"Even I do not know." The warrior of light answered.
"Because it's interesting!" Bartz answered.
"I feel sorry for you…" Cloud muttered.
"Join us Cloud!" Zidane tried to involve him.
"Now that I really think about it…my purple lipsticks keep going missing…" Terra pondered, "Do you think maybe he…" she trailed off. "Maybe he uses them?"
"Yes! Yes! I think it's Cecil!" Zidane exclaimed a little too quickly.
"I agree!" Bartz added.
"They've been using your lipstick Terra!" Luneth ratted out the dynamic duo.
Terra began to cackle with magical energy, "Why is that you two?" she said in a surprisingly menacing tone.
"Is that what you used to draw on my armor?!" The warrior of light added, in the firelight they could still see a fair amount of what looked like grease and oil on his usually well kept armor.
"Umm…it could be…?" Zidane was slowly beginning to back away into the woods. Bartz began to follow suit. "You're dead Onion shrimp."
"Meep!" Luneth hid behind Firion, who just decided to watch rather than be a part of it.
Bartz suddenly pointed to a random point behind everyone, "LOOK A CHOCOBO!"
Firion and Cloud both looked to where he was pointing, Cloud did because he didn't want to be attacked by one tonight and Firion because he honestly thought there was one there.
Firion began to pout a little, "Damn I fell for it again!"
Unfortunately for the trouble makers no one else did, so they were back to square one,
"What will it take for you to spare our lives?" Bartz asked.
"Do our chores for a month and we'll postpone it." Warrior of light answered.
"Deal!" Bartz answered.
"So…let's get back to the conversation we keep getting side tracked from…" Luneth tried to restart the conversation.
"Maybe he's stealing from the emperor." Firion thought aloud, "He wears purple lipstick as well…though…Cecil would be dead if that was the case because the emperor is a fruit and is very protective over his talcum powder and other such things."
"Eggplant?" Bartz suggested.
"Maybe one day he was chewing on a purple pen and it exploded!" Tidus said very fast and in one breath.
"Who was chewing on a purple pen and it exploded?" a mysterious but familiar voice asked.
"Oh Cecil! Hey how was patrol?!" Zidane asked.
"It was good, didn't see any manikins or worse opponents." Cecil answered, "So who was it who chewed on a purple pen and it exploded?"
"Was it you?" Luneth asked.
"No…so who did?"
"No one." Terra answered.
"Cecil, why are your lips purple?" Tidus asked since no one else did.
Cecil just pondered the statement, "I was born that way I guess, no one ever asked me that before, so I never really thought about it."
"I guess you were right Terra." Bartz grinned sheepishly.
Cecil just stared at his comrades, "You guys were discussing different reasons why my….lips were purple the whole time I was gone?"
"Pretty much." Tidus answered, "It was Zidane's brainwave though."
Cecil cast Zidane a mildly bewildered glance, then muttered something along the lines of, "I would hate to see what any of you come up with when you are doing anything interesting…", and picked a place to lie down and settle in for the night.
Squall just looked at them and shook his head at the four more childish ones of the group as he followed suit.
"SQUALLY!" Zidane attacked Squall, but Squall knew that this was going to happen and put up his gunblade. Zidane crashed into the blunt end of it and went flying, "No fair!" he rubbed his aching ribs and sat down, giving up, at least for this night.
Fortunately, for the warriors who still had some sanity left, there were no more disturbances.
I get the feeling I'm losing my touch with my humor stories…My last one I wrote only got one review, and I'm starting to think maybe life is taking it's toll on me and poorly effecting my writing. But, if you think this isn't true, please review me and let me know, it'd be much appreciated. ^_^ and also, I seem to be getting a lot of one shot ideas for Dissidia, if you guys want me to continue on and make a one shot collection please let me know! Hint hint huge hintage!! Feedback is much appreciated and welcomed!!
Sakura Sama 101