WARNING: contatins some minor explicit sexual references, and is a SLASH/Shassie. If you do NOT like this kind of stuff then don't read.

Thanks Winky_cutto for betaing for me. It helped have my story flow more and you gave some great suggestions. :)

Awkward Predicament

Lassiter was having a shitty day; okay skip that, shitty week. Long hours hovering over paperwork; one homicide case that was going nowhere but in pointless circles; the suspects of his newest case playing the blame game, which became useless when interrogating the two goons, getting nowhere; and endless prank calls to his phone. On top of that his wife officially divorced him and it was tough enough going through a time of failure, it being even tougher when admitting he screwed up finally, and having to give up; and to outdo all this crap already, he was having weird dreams about Spencer. 'Shawn fucking Spencer: Fake Psychic Extraordinaire.' This was crazy, this was insane, and actually, you know what? Lassiter thought this was ludicrous! He wasn't some horny teenager. But for god's sake he was having wet dreams about Shawn Spencer. Sweet Justice this was out of control!

He couldn't help himself, it was the way Shawn touched him, brushed up against him, or bumped into him. He loved to be close to Spencer, to feel his body up against his and for some reason Lassiter thought he was going insane. He didn't have feelings for men, especially Spencer for that matter. And he only experimented once in college. Well he just kissed a guy, and well, they did go down on him. So why did he want to fuck Spencer so much? Why was he having naughty dreams that left him panting hard or rather a gooey mess, when he awoke?

Many Cold showers and hot cups of coffee with extra sugar and milk later; having all this built up frustration was not good for Lassiter's soul. The gun range really wasn't working as of late. So after chasing after that suspect in the alleyway, tripping over a box and landing face first in a pile of garbage, then almost being hit by a car, and having to deal with Spencer's bullshit; a warm shower was really what he needed right now. So off to the showers he headed.

* * *

Juliet and Shawn stood in the Bullpen taking the rookie officers for a tour of the department and going over important codes and rules. The Chief wanted O'Hara to lecture the group of women on not only these, but about inner-department relationships: gawking at another male officer, sexual harassment, etc; just the finer points of working with the male population at the station. It just so happened, that Shawn decided to tag along. "Now I know sometimes you may want to be friendly to a fellow male or female officer but there is always a line that shouldn't be crossed. Trust me I know what I'm talking about. I had an experience once with a woman cop who got the wrong idea . . ."

While speaking, Detective Carlton Lassiter walked by abruptly, looking stern yet sexy. Some of the women began to whisper and bicker about how cute he was. "Excuse me but who was that, that walked by? " One of the girls asked.

"That would be my partner, Detective Carlton Lassiter, and I advise you woman to give him some respect, because he can be uptight sometimes and I'm warning you now if you get in his way, he will definitely have his own way with you."

That play on words made the women laugh and some smirked trying to hide their amusement. Juliet then continued where she left off, "Now where was I, since I know how hard it can be for woman officers sometimes and I mean I was just trying to be friendly, and you know what? Ugg god! That makes me so mad! It was only a damn cupcake! But oooh no, it didn't seem that way to her! . . ."

Shawn suddenly interrupted Juliet, "Jules! You're ranting."

Turning to face him, "I am not Shawn!"

"Relax Jules there's no need to get worked up." They began bickering, not even realizing that the women got bored and wandered off after where Detective Lassiter was headed.

* * *

Standing under the warm spray his muscles began to loosen. The stress of the day was at least waning away for a little bit. Looking around, no one was there and it was a slow day, so he was sure no one would be entering the showers until later. Not even realizing what he was doing, Carlton grabbed a hold of his member.

* * *

"Uhhh, Shawn, where did those rookies go?" Juliet asked inconspicuously.

Glancing around Shawn just shrugged, "I don't know."

Taking a look around they both suddenly realized sharply turning their heads to make eye contact. "Lassiter!" they both exclaimed in unison running in that direction.

"God Lassiter is going to kill me," Juliet blurted out. Shawn ran inside while O'Hara stood in the hall slightly embarrassed about the thought of seeing her partner naked. Shawn's a guy no big deal he'll just usher them out and I can yell at them when they get out.

* * *

In the showers Lassiter was totally oblivious to the gawking stares aimed in his direction. But the rookies were also unaware of the visitor entering the room behind them.

Slowly thrusting his hand back and forth, Carlton fought back the urge to finish quickly. Instead he wanted to savor it with the thought of Spencer running through his mind. Slick soapy fingers slid along the throbbing vein, eliciting a low moan from Carlton's mouth. He began to imagine Shawn hands all over his body, running through his hair. Then his thoughts wandered towards Shawn's tongue; on his lips, in his mouth, across his chest, down his stomach, slowly drifting downward from his navel until it reached a certain hard throbbing erection. Shawn's tongue danced around his head sliding up the length and taking him all in. He sucked and hummed, and used his talented tongue to encourage Carlton's orgasm. Riding in the waves of pleasure Carlton breathed out a whispered, "Shawn," under his breath. His head was about to explode in a colorful array of fireworks when the sounds of giggles and sexy whistles came his way. He also caught a manlier voice, "Have somewhere to be ladies?"

Women stood by staring at him with lust and heavy desire written across their faces. As soon as he glanced over Lassiter saw Shawn and the woman rookie officers crowded around with shocked expressions, as if they just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Lassiter suddenly made eye contact with Spencer, giving an agitated glare toward the group of women standing nearby. Shawn suddenly began to usher them out as Lassiter, quite flustered, made a grab for his towel hanging on top of the tiled wall.

His face went red immediately embarrassed. "Oh God," Carlton whispered out in abrupt horror, "you're kidding me." So much for the shower thought Carlton.

Wrapping a towel around his waist he saw O'Hara rushing past the rookies, taking in his appearance. Carlton was dripping wet, water sliding down his broad shaped shoulders, and sculpted chest, into his navel. His hair was out of place but it seemed to have that sexy wet look usually associated with when coming out of the shower. Rather uncomfortable already, Juliet could only imagine that the rookies got more than an eyeful. Come to think of it Juliet had never seen Carlton with as much as a shirt un-tucked and top buttons undone. Looking at O'Hara, Carlton was at a total loss for words, repulsion written all over his face.

"Uhhh, sorry about that Carlton, I didn't even see them head in here," Juliet stammered. Staring at the empty space behind Juliet, he gulped, paling even more before taking off towards the bathroom stalls.

In the stall Carlton sat down on the toilet with Shawn's gaze seared into his brain. Lassiter ran his hands through his hair, then rubbing at his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about the way Spencer was staring at him, watching, and seeing everything, even the words "Shawn" dying on his lips as he thrust into his hand. Of course it was whispered, but he could tell Shawn read his lips and knew exactly what was said. In the stall he ended up finishing off, cleaned up and got dressed. Now to face the music.

Coming out fully clothed and heading down the hall, O'Hara stopped him "You know you should really report this to the Chief. That was a violation of privacy Carlton!"

Turning to muster up his best glare considering how shamed and degraded he felt at the moment, he exclaimed, "I really don't want to talk about it O'Hara!" as he sternly rushed to the coffee pot, suddenly taking note of several women giggling like a bunch of school girls behind his back.


Carlton was embarrassed, more like morally disgraced or even publicly humiliated. Red suddenly came peeking back up his neck and the tips of his ears. His face was a shade of crimson and he couldn't hide it. God this was such a shitty day Lassiter thought. Sitting in the Chief's office, along with the chief herself, were O'Hara and Spencer. This day could seriously not get any worse.

"Ahem," Karen cleared her throat. "Well Carlton, I know this awkward predicament we're in . . . well . . . let's go over this . . . those women had no business being in there, I agree . . . and uhh . . . "

Turning away she looked to O'Hara, feeling the same awkwardness as her, both being the only women in the room. "Well . . . you were walked in on while umm . . . while you happened to be…." Karen paused trying to find the right words.

"Polishing your gun," Shawn threw in giving a heavily effective smile.

The chief turned her head trying to hold herself from bursting out laughing while O'Hara just gave a small smirk. In turn Carlton just got redder and sunk lower into his chair.

Not able to take the uneasy stares, giggles, and uncomfortable silence Carlton blurted out, "Look Chief!" Pausing he realized how loud he had yelled, then softening his voice he stuttered through the agonizing stares now on him,"Uhh . . . I was stressed and, I mean . . . I thought . . . oh come on! I'm a guy I was just trying to . . . look . . . the gun range really wasn't helping with all the stress lately and I thought maybe . . . " He sighed exasperatedly and rubbed his face with his palm. "God this is so embarrassing!" he uttered impulsively, covering his face with his hands.

"He's got a point chief, well the embarrassing part too, but a guy has a right to . . ." Spencer budded in with as much seriousness as Carlton had in his eyes about the problem.

"Please stop right there Mr. Spencer I really don't want to know where that was going," Karen disrupted rolling her eyes.

"Carlton, I didn't say you did anything wrong by . . ."

"Polishing your gun!" Spencer finished. The chief actually glared at him this time.

"Mr. Spencer, this is not the time for jokes."

"Right Chief," he exclaimed, still smiling.

"Look, Carlton that is perfectly normal. Now the only ones who will be punished are the women who entered the men's locker room."

Still staring at the floor, Carlton could not meet eye to eye with the Chief.

"I just wanted to inform you on this predicament that it's definitely not your fault this happened and so we are all clear on what happened. There may be some awkward rumors or lewd comments spread about the department, so if anyone hears something that may be inappropriate please come to me and I will see that it is never said again."

"Oh, you mean like the one confirmed about Lassie's Glock actually not being the biggest weapon he carries on his person?"

The Chief just cleared her throat slightly trying to get her voice, taken by surprise by Shawn's comment. Juliet however was looking in the total opposite direction, eyeing the ceiling corner as if there were an invisible spider crawling up the sides, like she never heard a word he said. Lassie though, gave Spencer a narrow look, actually taken aback by the comment. Surprised he said it with such a serious tone. But this was not the place to make lewd comments like that, no matter how endearing it may be to hear coming out of Spencer's mouth.

Thoughts going to Shawn's mouth I'm sure he could do wonderful things with it .Mentally kicking himself he sat up a little straighter in his chair. Geeze Carlton get your mind out of the gutter. Shawn, of course, had a full spread out grin that reached all the way to his eyes, not even aware of what was going through Carlton's mind at the moment.

"Or the fact that there's now a pool going on as to who can frisk Lassie first and give him a full cavity search," Shawn exclaimed with a lopsided grin plastered across his face

Okay maybe things could get even worse."Arrggg!" Carlton grumbled frustrated, putting his head in his hands.

The Chief decided now was the best time to speak up, "Mr. Spencer, I will ignore your first comment, but do you think you can find out who's running this pool and report back to me as soon as possible."

"Oh, come on! I think it'll be fun to watch Lassie squirm under all those lusty gazes." Karen just glared in his direction.

"Ok, ok, I get it," Shawn backed down.

"Carlton, I'm going to need you to just stay on your feet and ignore the mobbing woman. If anyone of them gets too out of line come to me, and I'll put them in their place."

Carlton just nodded, still staring at the floor.


Back in the bullpen Lassiter idly sat at his desk. Staring intently at his paperwork trying very hard to ignore the ongoing jokes and whispers at his expense. Obviously they were good jokes that benefited him in many ways, but it was so embarrassing.

Suddenly an average looking young woman came up to Lassiter with a couple of friends trailing behind. "Excuse me detective?"

Lassiter had nothing left to do but look up, hiding how painful it really was to look them in the face. "Yes?" He asked with his usual intense glare, hoping to scare them away.

"Well my friend wanted me to ask you . . . ," She began giggling, "well…umm . . ." even more giggling.

Lassiter's face began to redden from anger building up inside. "Just spit it out woman!" he blurted out.

"Well how does it feel to be the biggest rooster in the nest?"

Lassiter arched his eyebrows in surprise and confusion. "Excuse me?" he questioned hesitantly.

More giggling. I wonder as Head Detective if can I get away with murder by strangulation, with the entire bullpen as witness. "What she's trying to say is that you most definitely know how to pack heat," another young rookie spoke up smirking, glancing down in his direction.

Still at loss of the situation Lassiter followed her eyes towards his crotch. "Oh," a pause of realization he immediately blushed,"Oh . . . ooohhh!" he swallowed hard, not sure what to say.

"Uhh….look I have a lot of paperwork to finish. Will you please just all go away?" he added with as much venom as he could after being asked such an uncomfortable question.

"Oh, come on, you know you are amazingly sexy right now," someone else spoke out. Soon there was a raid of questions, swooning, 'ooo's and awww's', and Lassiter suddenly gained a phobia claiming he was becoming claustrophobic from the hoards of woman whom have surrounded his desk at the moment, practically smothering him.

"It was like watching a porno live!"

"Oh my god, I think my knees almost melted into jell-O."

"I'm sure you pleasure most girls quite nicely?!" If it was possible, Lassiter thought he might just cry.

Standing by, Juliet was trying to get them to stop invading Lassiter's space, which is when Shawn stepped up to the plate. Shoving to get to Lassiter, he grabbed Lassie's arm tugging him up from his chair. "Ladies leave the detective alone I'm sure you'd hate it if someone invaded your privacy and caught you doing something naughty." Another rookie reached out trying to grab a hold of Lassiter's arm "He is so mine, I saw him first." Soon Ladies were clawing their way at them.

Lassiter actually had this terrified look on his face caught in the middle of the fire. I'd rather have a go at a game of Russian roulette he thought. The Chief and O'Hara were now trying to pull these rabid beasts away from their prey, as the rest of the station stared in awe and horror.

Shawn immediately did the only thing he knew would work. "Back off ladies! He's mine because I most definitely got to him way before anyone."

Then he lunged at Lassiter, pressing his lips tightly onto his. Their mouths crushed together as Shawn slipped his tongue past Carlton's lips, going in for the kill. He knew the only way they'd believe he was serious was for him to prove it. Shawn grabbed the back of Carlton's head running his fingers though his hair, as his other arm groped at his coat lapels. After a minute Carlton gave in, melting into Shawn's arms sliding his tongue out to meet the others. They ceremoniously explored each other's mouths while Carlton reached out to grab at Spencer's waist bringing him closer. Carlton wrapped his arms around the younger man's body standing chest to chest, lip locked, while shoving his tongue down another man's throat in the middle of a police station.

For the most part everyone backed off, staring at the two in surprise, horror, awe, amusement, and jealousy. Finally pulling apart breathlessly, Shawn and Lassiter both stared into each other's eyes trying to figure the other out. Soon Shawn stood up straightening his clothes with a huge shine in his eyes and a smile on his face. It was more of a satisfied smile. The kind he makes when he solves a case and is always right.

As Spencer walked off, Lassiter just stood there in shock, but for some reason the shock began to wear off as a goofy smile melted onto his face. For some reason Lassiter really liked it. More like loved it. And actually you know what Lassiter absolutely thoroughly enjoyed it!

Glancing at Lassiter, Juliet took note of the huge grin spread on Carlton's face. It was the type of grin he only got when he received a new gun or when Shawn wasn't around to annoy him. Dumbfounded Juliet tried to suppress her gasp.

While walking away Shawn glanced back at the Chief. "Just cracked the case chief, problem solved." Then glancing towards the ladies, "I'm so the first to frisk Lassie thus winning the pool. I'll be back to collect my earnings," Shawn cockily smirked. "Oh, and definitely going to be the first to give Lassie a full cavity search and I take that quite literally." He winked at a still dim-witted smiling Lassie, heading down the hall and out the doors.