Chapter 5:

It was with a great deal of relief that Harry and Neville greeted September 1st. They toodled off to catch the Hogwarts Express with vacuous smiles on their faces and extreme happiness in their hearts. The marriage law had been repealed posthaste once Cornelius Fudge had been stabled with Alister Moody and Bellatrix LeStrange. The fourth member of their quad was a beautiful dominatrix by the name of Mellisandra Pince. Melly had learned the subtle art of domination from her librarian mother, Irma Pince, and combined it with her father's (Tom Riddle) love of discipline. She straightened the lot of them right up...

The marriage law had actually worked out well for the Malfoys. Narcissa took one look at the differece in equipment between the Potter and the Malfoy and attempted to drag the Potter off to her boudoir to teach him how to use that lovely gift that nature had bestowed upon him. Draco waited until his exquisite mother had disappeared into the bathroom to clean up before 'dinner' and infomed Harry that his parents had never broken their wedding vows to love and honor each other up to this point.

Harry was fine with casting the Imperio on Lucius and forcing him to ingest the modified polyjuice potion (good for at least eight hours) and then directing him to enter the room Narcissa was preparing for him. Cold grey eyes glared into laughing green eyes and a tear traced its way down a pale cheek as Lucius Malfoy faced the fact that he would never be rid of HER! He uncorked the vial of potion and knocked it back while still glaring. A few seconds later he felt his clothing become restricted in his groin area and was amazed when he pulled his shirt away from his tailored slacks and noticed a significantly larger piece of equipment that was not even engorged yet. He squealed like a fangirl watching Dr. McCoy in Star Trek and waltzed into the room where his extremely horny wife was waiting.

Harry smiled sweetly at Draco and mentioned that he did not have to perform for him since he fully expected the law to be repealed within hours. Draco was having none of it. He downed the gender changing potion and informed Harry that any child he/she and Harry produced was going to be absolutely gorgeous. Harry just shrugged his shoulders and sighed. After all, who was he to complain? Sex maniac, teenage boy who has just discovered hormones... sounds like a match made in the potions lab, doesn't it?

Just for the fun factor Harry apparated back to the Dursley house with his new wife and went about introducing her to the relatives. Dudley took one look at the stunningly beautiful Draco Malfoy-Potter and broke down in tears of rage and jealousy. He could be heard sobbing his heart out and begging piteously that Draco leave Harry and become his eternal love. We will not tell you what Vernon thought of the blonde bomshell whose measurements were 38, 24, 34. Petunia and Marge managed to swallow back their vitriol when the little blonde wrapped herself around Harry and after kissing him silly answered their question of what did she see in him. To misquote Legally Blonde, "If you ever saw his penis you would not ask such stupid questions..."

Harry, being the perfect gentleman he is, acknowledged that Draco was not a slouch either. Not only was he/she beautiful, intelligent, and talented, the tits were incredible. When Draco giggled and cooed that he/she would like a string of pearls to prove that that statement was true all three of the older Dursleys grunted and wiggled about a bit.

Neville had many of the same problems that Harry did. Too many spouses wanted his undivided attention constantly... Originally he felt rather bad about having sex with Luna because he knew that Harry had intended to make an offer for her hand to her father just before the marriage law went into effect. Luna explained in no uncertain terms that Harry was busy with three Malfoys and she did not intend to be 'all noble' and miss out on a good shag because someone else was trying to feel 'all noble.

Snape also gave him to understand that he had conjugal duties and he expected his share. He irritated Neville so badly that the last thing ever heard of from Snape was that he had been relocated to Excessively Perky's attic where he lounges about wearing her pink silk bustiers and french lace knickers. When not dusting the house while dressed in a French maid's uniform complete with heels and fishnet hose he studies old footage from Rocky Horror Picture Show and practices the Time Warp.

Ginerva started to give him her two knuts worth when she was hit by three stunners and had to be taken to St. Mungo's for a nice long stay. The same rumors that told us where Snape was also whispered that Ginerva escaped from St. Mungo's and joined the bachelor party circuit as the adult version of 'pin the tail on the donkey'...