SLASH BACKSLASH ONE-SHOT CONTEST
Story Name: "Permanent"
Pen name: tuesdaymidnight
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.
To see other entries in the "SLASH BACKSLASH" contest, please visit the C2:
A/N: This story is told from Alice's POV. She doesn't get in on the fun, but she enjoys the show. Yes, I'm a perv. You know you love it. ;)
Call me a voyeuse.
Call me a pervert.
Call me what you will.
I'm just trying to make this compromise work.
I couldn't see it happening, but both Jacob and Jasper described it to me later.
It drove me crazy, seeing Jasper's future, and sometimes mine, disappear. I saw us together and happy between the dark spots, but I had no idea what was going to happen that day. The day Renesmee was born and Bella was turned affected all of our lives profoundly and to the core. I just couldn't foresee exactly in what way the future of my existence would never be the same.
It takes a lot for a vampire to change, something profound must occur, and they are never the same.
Jasper loved me, forever, and that could never waver. That surety is one of the upsides of our monstrosity.
What I didn't know is that a vampire's love could be shared.
I saw it happen to Bella when she set her new vampire eyes on her daughter for the first time. The love she felt for Edward was no less strong, but she opened her now stilled heart to that little girl. A beautiful combination of the love she and Edward shared. I didn't need Jasper's ability to feel the love that radiated from Bella to Renesmee to Edward and back.
I could see Nessie giving her parents all sorts of hell in the future. Her rapid aging would be a difficult adjustment, especially to creatures for whom change was rare and time was a slow-passing eternity. I could see Nessie inheriting some of her father's angst and both her parents' stubbornness. All too soon I could see a runaway excursion to South America, to reunite with Nahuel, who was the only individual she felt could ever really understand her. Those two together were going to cause all kinds of trouble for her parents and for Huilen. Of course, I said nothing to warn them. These were my niece's mistakes to make, and there was no foreseeable danger in them.
Though, I'm not so sure Edward and Bella would agree with me.
Luckily with my current predicament, I could easily feign preoccupation as the cause of my oversight.
Renesmee's birth changed us all, but right now, she was the least of my worries.
Edward managed to keep Jacob away while Bella underwent her transformation. Once she was changed and we were all so shocked at the immediate way she took to vampirism, we all decided it was cruel to keep her best friend away. Jacob had taken those days to cool down a little, and genuinely wanted to see for himself both that she "survived" and to see the "demon spawn" that changed everything. The meeting didn't go well. Bella said that Jacob's anguish nearly suffocated her before he ran out of the house and past Rosalie's guard over Nessie. He phased immediately and ran into the woods where Jasper was also pouting, taking the very same route Jasper had taken. The same route I had followed earlier to try and comfort my husband. When I asked Jake later if he realized that he was following Jasper's scent, he said yes, but in his wolf form it was instinct. He wasn't conscious of the choice.
I witnessed none of Jacob's visit with Bella, as I tried to soothe Jasper's agony the best I could.
Jasper would always struggle with our "vegetarian" lifestyle.
Bella was just an anomaly, an oddity, as if she were always meant to be in our damned state.
He wasn't buying my justifications, my excuses for his behavior, and I knew better than to try. So, I left him to hunt.
Later, Jasper told me he could smell Jake long before he arrived, so he wasn't surprised when Jacob in wolf form skidded to a stop beside him. Jacob phased back into his human form, as naked as the day he was born, initially with the intention to commiserate with someone who seemed in just as much agony at the day's events.
Jake apologized for his nudity, but when Jasper looked up to meet Jake's eyes, intending to tell him that it wasn't a big deal, their eyes met and that was it.
Jake later said it was like every string that was tying him to the world as he knew it snapped and was replaced by the world's strongest cable connecting him to Jasper and only to Jasper. For him it wasn't love exactly, that came later after he sorted through the onslaught of emotions associated with the imprint, not to mention the completely unexpected turn of events. From all the stories and lore of his ancestors, the possibility had never occurred to him, to anyone really, that he could imprint on a vampire, his enemy, and a man.
If Jasper wasn't able to sense the emotions of others, the scenario may have ended differently. He and Jacob may have just been able to co-exist as best friends. Though, some of the Quileute Elders told me that it would have been unlikely. Jake was male and would have sexual needs, and he would want those needs met by his imprint.
Whatever emotions were associated with imprinting, they tore through Jasper like a hurricane, and he never had a chance. As soon as he looked into those puppy dog eyes, he was a goner.
When vampires change, it's permanent.
In that moment, Jasper Whitlock Hale, the love of my existence, was changed forever. The love and adoration one feels for their imprint hit Jasper with so much force, his love for Jake was immediate and irrevocable.
Jacob knew he had imprinted immediately.
Jasper figured out what happened moments later.
They both sat, stunned, staring at each other not knowing what to do. The connection was already there, but their thoughts hadn't caught up with them yet.
Jasper told me later that his first instinct was to bolt. He loved Jake now, but he loved me, too. The guilt he felt for his continuing difficulty with our lifestyle paled in comparison to the guilt he felt at falling in love with another. He was later able to joke that it was only the shock that paralyzed him from pulling an Edward and running to the Volturi in despair. Jasper was from a time and a place where homosexuality was not in his awareness. Despite the century and a half he had of existence, despite the fact that Jasper tried not to judge other people for those they could not help but love, he had never even considered the possibility of a relationship with a man.
But here he was, in love with another man.
Jake was equally in shock.
They ran north together.
Jake to escape his pack.
Jasper to escape me.
They ran for hours, beyond the border, deep into the Canadian taiga. They ran together until even Jasper said he could almost remember what physical exhaustion felt like.
I'll never know what transpired during those few days in the Yukon, but Jake would tell me later that it was when he fell in love.
They came to tell me together, but I didn't need them to say anything. I could tell, and I knew from all the gaps in my future that there wasn't any way around it. There were no choices we could make that would change our futures.
"We'll just have to make it work," I told them, though I couldn't hide my anger and sadness from Jasper.
Even though I lacked his ability, I could practically feel the agony that Jasper was undergoing. The Jasper I loved still loved me without question, but he loved the mongrel too.
He loved us both.
There was nothing either of us could do to stop it.
It was permanent.
The death of that dog would mean the death of Jasper.
My love alone would never be enough anymore.
We decided that we needed to tell everyone about what was happening between the three of us, and went to our "family" first before going before the Quileutes.
At first, the major concern everyone had was Jasper's blood lust for Jake, but he assured everyone that something about the smell of Jacob's blood changed to him after the imprint. He had never really desired the blood of any of the pack members anyway, because it smelled less human and more animal, but the scent of Jake registered differently to him after the imprinting. It was almost as if he needed the scent of Jake's blood, but in a different way; not to satiate thirst, more to ensure to him that Jake's heart was still beating.
It took some getting used to for all of them, Bella especially, but deep down, she understood. The need Jake felt to be around her during her pregnancy was probably misconceived as feelings for her. Carlisle reasoned that it was probably instead a desire to be around the Cullen house, more specifically, to be around Jasper. Once Bella no longer became an option to him, because she would never be the same to him as she now was in her vampire form, his childhood crush was gone and he was ready to imprint. It was simply an ironic twist that his imprint would end up being a different vampire. Ultimately, Bella wanted Jacob to be happy and it was obvious that Jasper made him happy.
Without even trying, without Jasper needing to intervene, you couldn't help but smile when the two of them were together.
The Quileute elders were less shocked than I had anticipated when the three of us went before them. I was still hoping for the miniscule chance that they would know some way to reverse an imprint. It wasn't purely selfish. I knew that neither Jake, nor my Jasper would have chosen this. Though, at this point, I don't think either them could entertain the possibility of not being together. The elders had thought that imprinting was meant to ensure strong mating, but this was something else entirely. They had three possible explanations for this anomaly. The first was the notion that maybe imprinting was simply a matter of soul mates, and had no other tribal significance. The second, and most likely explanation, was that because the vampire population had stabilized and enough pack members had imprinted, Jacob was no longer needed to mate with a female. Their third possibility was that because Rachel had been imprinted on, the Black bloodline was almost assuredly going to continue and stay in the tribe.
It sounded to me like they were just grasping at straws, but they didn't seem upset by the occurrence and gave the couple their blessing.
At the very least, it was a cession of the long time feud.
In the beginning, Jasper started dividing his time between our house and Jake's house in La Push, since the treaty had gone out the window. I still got him nearly every night while Jake slumbered, but the situation still nagged me. Jasper was living a double life. We needed to reach some sort of compromise so the three of us could exist together, and spend time together without Jasper feeling like we were competing for his attention.
It wasn't that I didn't like Jake, it was just really difficult to get used to seeing someone else be so in tune with Jasper, protective of him, aware of his needs and wants.
I was jealous, plain and simple.
So, I played the denial game.
I pretended that Jasper just went to school or went hunting everyday he didn't spend with me.
It was talking to Leah Clearwater, of all people, that really made me change my mind about this arrangement. She and Seth still visited us from time to time. We all did patrols of the area, only less frequently, but whenever they came around our part of the forest, they would stop by. One day Leah was patrolling by herself, and she sought me out for a conversation. She, too, had been scorned by an unwanted imprint, so she sympathized with my predicament. When we were commiserating, she also told me that being in a pack meant that whenever Jake phased, his thoughts could be heard by anybody. Apparently he had a hard time keeping his thoughts about my husband and the things they did together to himself, and Edward confirmed to me that Jake had very visual thoughts.
A whole pack of strangers knew what Jasper looked like in all his glory.
Yet, I had no idea what happened when they were together, because I couldn't see the damn mutt's future.
I knew their relationship was about so much more than sex. It was based on something more powerful than I would ever fully understand, but the sex was the part that bothered me the most.
I knew Jasper was willing to compromise with me on this, and I knew in my more logical moments that Jake never imagined this would happen. Never wanted it to happen. Never even had a homosexual desire until the moment his life became permanently tied to Jasper's through this strange wolfy claim.
If I had to share, I had to share.
But, I didn't have to be left in the dark.
So, I called a group meeting. Jake and I couldn't go on pretending that the other didn't exist. Though, logically Jake didn't have a problem sharing Jasper with me, the strength of the imprint made him wary around me. The only thing that stopped us from fighting was that we both knew it was tearing Jasper up inside, and that wasn't good for any of us.
They came to the house together, and I sat them down on the couch.
"I'm not going to pussyfoot around this," I started.
Jasper's eyes were wide as he felt my determination. Jake looked worried, and this was confirmed when Jasper put a hand on Jake's knee to stop him from bouncing it up and down.
"I want to watch."
"What!?!" Jasper's purr and Jake's resonant voice were in unison.
"I'm not asking to join in. Someday, Jake, you'll change your mind about that." I winked at him, I couldn't help it.
I had been able to surmise that much from my shady visions. I caught Jasper's eye and he grinned. Edward had confirmed that Jasper had thought about having us both at the same time, and thought about it frequently. Enough that Edward had difficulty being around Jasper unless there was something else very mentally stimulating going on at the same time.
I continued. "I don't like being left in the dark. Your entire pack knows what the two of you do together. They know how strong Jake's feelings are for you, Jazzy. I would argue that I'm more directly affected by this than any of them, yet, I'm still ostracized."
Jasper spoke first, "I don't want you to feel like I'm shutting you out, Ali."
"I'm not asking to be a part of all your time together. Jasper and I get our alone time, and I don't want to completely intrude. Of course, to be fair I have to extend the invitation to you, if you'd ever like to be a part of Jasper and my alone time in any capacity."
Jake's eyes widened at me in a mix of intrigue and horror. I knew sharing Jasper was more difficult for him than it was for me. I had reason on my side, but the power of the imprint often seemed to defy such rationality. Since Jasper loved us both, Jacob had to accept it.
Jasper's decision, on the other hand, was made immediately. I could tell.
It appeared that Jake would need some time to mull it over.
Then, he surprised me.
"Sure, sure" he nodded. "It's only fair."
"Really?" For over 100 years I had never been surprised by anything. In some ways, it was nice to feel what everyone else in this world took for granted.
It could be such a burden, seeing the future, and having other people rely on my visions. Jake being permanently a part of my life relieved some of that burden.
I raised my eyebrow at him.
Jasper looked at Jake, then to me, his golden eyes blazing. My Jasper could be a kinky boy. I could tell that the prospect of being watched excited him. Almost as much of having us both at the same time.
He squeezed Jake's knee a little harder and peered at him expectantly.
"Now?" Jake's voice wavered a little.
"There's no time like the present," I smirked.
Jasper stood quickly, and grabbed both our hands. Jake practically had to run to keep up with our speed as we climbed the stairs.
I was a little hesitant at having Jacob and Jasper together in our bed, but some of my visions suggested that before long, Jasper and my time together would be interrupted with blackness. I could only assume that the three of us would be sharing it together anyway. Plus, I didn't want to go down to La Push and try to cram into Jake's bedroom.
So, I angled the chaise toward the bed for the best angle and settled myself on it.
"I want to enjoy this, so make it good."
Jasper knew what I liked.
Jasper winked at me then wrapped his hands gently around the back of Jake's neck, pulling the taller man's head down to his for a kiss.
Jacob's body was stronger than a human's. He could heal very quickly, but he still didn't have the strength of a vampire when he was in him human form, so Jasper had to be gentle. This meant that Jake topped for Jasper, which Jasper was surprised to find he really enjoyed. If he wanted to have anal sex as a top, all he had to do was ask. Without a strap-on, though, I couldn't give him that particular pleasure. Of course, given vampire anatomy, it required the use of plugs made of very strong materials to get Jasper used to controlling the clenching of his muscles. I didn't ask for details.
I thought it was going to be weird, seeing my husband dominated that way, but seeing the two men kiss was surprisingly quite arousing.
Jake, I could tell, enjoyed being with someone of Jasper's strength. He didn't have to be gentle in return. No matter how rough he wanted to take things, Jasper would never be harmed by any of it.
I watched their lips move slowly together, and I saw Jake's tongue dart out into Jasper's mouth. Jazz moaned and the noise he made was different from any other I'd heard him emit. I wondered what it was about Jake, other than our size and differing anatomy that was so different from being with me. Maybe it was the difference in body temperature that Jasper enjoyed. Maybe it was that Jake was softer than I. Despite his massive physique, he was still human and delicate, and I could understand why that would be appealing.
I could feel the love and contentment filling the room as Jake's hands came up and ran through Jasper's hair. He tugged on it a little, and I had to fight off a second surge of jealousy. He knew Jasper liked having his hair pulled.
Of course he did.
He loved Jasper as much as I did.
He wanted to make Jasper feel good.
Two gorgeous male specimens were going to be making love right in front of me.
Shut up and enjoy it, Alice, I told myself.
So, enjoy I did.
Their kiss deepened, as I watched Jasper's hands ghost down Jake's back and cup Jake's muscled, round ass.
Then, Jasper began to walk backwards and once the back of his knees hit the bed, sat down on it, pulling Jake down on top of him. It was beautiful to watch, really. Jasper was so tender with Jake, but he let Jake feel as if he were the dominating one. The vampire had to be in control of the situation, but Jasper knew Jake liked feeling his lover's vulnerability. Since Jasper's body was anything but vulnerable, he had to show it in different ways.
Jake crawled on top of Jasper's lap, their lips still attached, parting only when Jake needed to take a breath. Jacob slowly started to unbutton Jasper's shirt, one by one, slowly revealing the carved planes of my love's chest. With his human eyes, Jake couldn't see with full clarity the scars that covered Jasper's body, but they were obviously visible to him. Each and every one a permanent reminder of a painful past.
Our union had released us both from the pain, memories, and horrors that we each had endured alone, and despite the scars, or maybe because of them, Jasper was always beautiful to me.
Jake began kissing Jasper's chest, kissing the scars the way I sometimes did, to reassure Jasper that he was perfect. I loved Jake in that moment, for the way he loved Jasper. I could control my jealousy because of that which we shared.
Jasper could feel my jealously retreat, and he turned to smile at me as Jake pushed the shirt from his shoulders.
Jake climbed off Jasper's lap then, and settled on the floor between his legs as Jasper perched at the edge of the bed, feet on the floor. I knew that it could only take a split second for Jasper to remove their clothes, but he never once was impatient. He let himself enjoy the sensations. Revel in the warm touch of the russet-skinned man.
Jake unbuttoned the fly on Jasper's jeans. Commando as usual, my husband's beautiful hardness stood proudly at attention. As Jasper raised his hips slightly, Jake slid the denim down, to the top of Jasper's boots. He made quick work of the well-loved cowboy boots that he wouldn't let me replace, and the jeans quickly followed.
Once the garments were no longer an obstacle, Jake settled on the floor between Jasper's feet and plunged his mouth around Jasper's rock hard erection. Other than the fact that Jacob needed to breathe, there was something very different about the way he performed the act. It was wet, sloppy, and he made loud slurping noises. Jasper seemed to be loving it.
By the looks of it, he wasn't going to last long,
"Baby, I'm so close," Jasper moaned.
Jasper chuckled at my amusement and twinge of envy.
His laughter didn't last long as I noticed Jake's hand disappearing between Jasper's legs. Jasper's hips moved up, and I realized that Jake was working his fingers to penetrate Jasper while simultaneously sucking his manhood. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, because it didn't take very many pumps before I could see Jazz's body go even more rigid as he came. Jake kept Jasper deep in his throat as my husband tossed his head back with a scream of ecstasy. I watched Jacob's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed around Jasper's now-worshipped cock. The first time, Jake had been afraid to swallow, but the venom that ran through us didn't act as a poison unless directly inserted into the bloodstream.
Once Jake licked Jasper dry, Jasper reached out and pulled the larger man up for a long, lingering kiss, so passionate I could almost feel my toes curl. When they broke away my husband looked Jake squarely in the eye and said in his low, sexy voice, with the ever-present twinge of drawl, "How do you want me?"
For the first time Jake looked at me since we had all entered the room.
"I think we should ask the audience," he said playfully.
Hmm, a girl could get used to this.
It was like directing my own, personal gay porn.
I giggled in spite of myself, and flitted over to the bedside table, pulling out a few items that Jasper and I used for play.
A blindfold and a ball gag.
When your senses are so acute, having them deprived made the act that much more arousing.
I handed them to Jake, and then perched on the chaise so I was closer to the two men.
"You," I pointed to my man. "On your hands and knees."
"You," I pointed to the dog who loved him. "Take him from behind."
Jasper got on all fours in the middle of the bed. Jake crawled up to him and slipped the blindfold over his eyes, quietly asking him if it was okay. They obviously hadn't been together long enough to remotely explore the realm of possibilities. Jasper's enthusiastic nod was enough for Jake to continue. A little thrill shot through my body. So rarely did the eternal and undead get to experience something new, but soon I would be able to play with fire and ice to my heart's content.
Jake then placed the ball in Jasper's mouth, asking again if it was okay. At Jasper's insistent nod, he tied the gag behind his head.
Once the gag was tied, Jake grabbed some lubricant and spread it on his fingers. He prepared Jasper so lovingly I was touched at how much he cared. He needed Jasper to be relaxed so Jasper didn't clench and deny access. After Jasper was generously lubed, Jake spread more onto his own impressive length, and pushed in slowly but firmly.
I could see Jasper's body relax ever so slightly as he adjusted to the intrusion, and a low groan, almost inaudible even to my heightened senses, came out from behind the ball gag. Jake did his best to grip onto Jasper, though the hard skin made it difficult to dig in with his fingers, but Jasper responded by stilling his bucking hips, so Jake could take control.
Jake pounded in and out of Jasper's ass, as Jasper began to let go and writhe beneath him.
Jasper's buttocks were beautifully curved, and his sinewy muscles flexed with unearthly grace as Jake's thrusts pushed him forward and back. I allowed myself to focus my gaze on Jacob's beautifully muscled body, which, unlike Jasper's, was glistening with a fine sheen of sweat.
I got more turned on by each thrust, feeling the lace dampening between my legs.
I pictured how I could add myself to the scenario, and found that there were many ways I would enjoy being a part of equation. Instead of Jake's hand reaching around, stroking Jasper's impossibly hard member, I could surely think of a way to take care of it without interrupting Jake's rhythm.
With years of experience under his belt, and indefinite stamina, I figured that Jake, the horny teenage pseudo-human would easily be the one to climax first, but my husband surprised me with the abandon he was taking in his seemingly submissive position. It seemed nearly no time at all had passed when the telltale signals of release were visible in Jasper's body language. I could see that Jake was in tune with my lover's responses, and he speed his pace both with his hips and with his right hand.
I found myself squirming on the chaise.
The passion in the room was palpable.
Despite the frigid temperature at which we ran, with the addition of Jake and the heat generated between the two boys, the heat of the fervor in the room nearly started my dead heart beating again.
They came together.
In an explosion of bliss that was overwhelming.
Jake collapsed on Jasper's back, and even though he wasn't exhausted himself, Jasper allowed himself to buckle under the weight and they lay together in a tangle.
Jake recovering physically.
Jasper recovering emotionally.
Almost immediately after removing the blindfold and gag, Jake fell asleep, curled around Jasper's left side, as Jasper slowly stroked his hair. Then, Jasper turned to me and gestured toward the bed.
I needed no hesitation.
Even though we were the same temperature, Jasper made a shivering motion as he pulled me to his right side. With Jake beside him, my body registered to him as cold. He eyed me hungrily as he fed off the lust that surrounded me after the show I just witnessed. My eyes turned toward the sleeping man beside us and I couldn't help but smile. He looked so peaceful and happy. I had never seen contentment embodied so perfectly.
I wondered if even I could come to love this shapeshifter, who loved my own dear Jasper fully and unconditionally.
I would never be the same as Jasper was to Jacob, but I had a feeling that he would be able to love me, at least as a close friend or confident. Likewise, Jake would never be my mate, but I knew from now on, things would never be the same.
In that moment I realized I could no longer see my future.
When vampires change, it's permanent.