Disclaimer- I do not own anything, and never will.
A cold heart will burst
if mistrusted first
And a calm heart will break
when given a shake
A sigh escaped from Callie Torres' lips as she sat down in her normal bookstore. Placing her coffee on her usual table, Callie moved sit in the comfortably padded chair that she loved so much. Music played softly in the air, comforting instrumental music that no one really listened to anymore. Callie loved that kind of music, really. Something so soothing about it, and she could use some soothing. Sighing, she looked down at the unopened book sitting next to her coffee on the table.
"How a Heart Behaves" by Erica Hahn.
Callie must have read that title about fifty times, and the author's name about six hundred times. She still couldn't believe it. Erica Hahn, her Erica Hahn, had written a book. An autobiography at that! She couldn't wrap her mind around it. Had Erica been gone from her life for that long? She guessed that four years was long enough to write a book.
She had just found out about this autobiography earlier that morning from Christina, who really didn't know if she should be extremely excited or completely ticked off. Christina rambled on about it for a good hour and half, though Callie wasn't really listening. She had, however, caught a few phrases such as, "What if there is something important to learn in there?" and, "Who am I kidding? It's going to about how much she hates people.". Callie didn't know what to tell her. All Callie knew was that she was not going to buy that book under any circumstances.
Callie sighed again as she brushed her fingers over the silky smooth paperback cover. She lingered over her ex's name longer than anything. Four years. Four years and yet the simple mention of the blonde's name caused her heart to race. Well, race wasn't quite the right word for it. It was more like a war between her heart and head. Her heart would start racing, and then her brain would remember what happened and that nothing would ever change that, and her heart would then sink very deep into her stomach and continue to break. Callie didn't understand how someone could have such a strong effect on her after so long. She reasoned with herself constantly, saying that it was because it ended so suddenly that she didn't have time to properly process it. That and she was certain that Erica hated her, which didn't help the healing process in the least.
So here she was. Sitting at a bookstore with the book that she promised herself that she would never buy, loathing herself. She had to buy the stupid book. She had to see if Erica had written anything about her in there, and maybe get some closure on this whole situation so that she can finally move on with her rotten life!
But what if she wrote something horrible about her in there? Callie was honestly terrified that that was the case. Erica would have every right to bash her in every way possible, call her every mean name in the book. Callie had cheated on her, wavered on her, and called her bad in bed. There was probably no coming back from that.
God she was nervous. It was stupid how nervous she was. So she did the only thing she could to calm her nerves. She took a deep breath and opened to the first page and began to read.
How a Heart Behaves
by Erica Hahn.
It has come to my attention that it is expected of me to write an autobiography about my life. While I don't want to be a living cliché of my success, it is something that has been advised of me to do. Not only for my career as an amazing cardio surgeon, but for my (supposed) mental health as well. I should mention that I'm not very good with people. I don't know a thing about telling someone about my life or what is important or not. I don't know where to start, or if anyone is even going to read this, but I guess the best thing to do is to start at the very beginning and introduce myself.
Hi. My name is Erica Lynn Hahn, I'm a 39 year old heart surgeon with a world renown technique.
That being said, I suppose my story starts thirty nine years ago in a small hospital in Madison, Wisconsin. I was born in this hospital though I can't say I remember the name. Being eight pounds, seven ounces, I was a big girl even back then. It was a normal delivery, no drugs involved, no complications. Other than that, there's not much I can say about my birth.
I was born and raised in Wisconsin. I lived in the country of the city called Eau Claire, (Pronounced "O Claire" if you're wondering. Not "Ew Claire". That'd be a pretty bad name for a town, in my opinion.) and went to Robins Elementary school. It was a large, brick building school that was all indoors. I could tell you the names of all the teachers that I had while I was going there, but it would be pointless. None of them work there any more, probably gone long before I checked in my late high school years. It was a good school, as good as an elementary school can get I would suppose. I didn't really make any friends there. My only friend was my older brother, and that is how it remains even to this day.
My brother's name is Shawn Michel Hahn, and his biggest pet peeve is when I tease him about his name. "Shawn Hahn." It's pretty funny how it sort of rhymes and his face still gets red when I bring this up. He is a year older than me, born in the same hospital. He went to the same school as me, as well, and we even managed to have the same teachers through out the fifth grade. We were the best of friends growing up. Even though Shawn was very popular among his friends he would still play with me on the playground and call me his best friend. I was very fond of him as well, and still am. You hear that Shawn?
We would play together all the time outside of school. The winter was our favorite. Snow was very fun to play in and one of our favorite things to do in it was build little forts in it. We would try and make them resemble igloos, but they'd always collapsed within a few minutes. So we would build a castle in their place. It was easy to do in the snow, unlike in the other seasons when all you were left with was rocks, mud, and sticks. Our parent's would help us, of course, in the summer to make a suitable fort for the time being, until winter came back.
Our parents weren't planned parents, to say the least. They were both nineteen when they had my brother, needless to say, he was a mistake. A great mistake, as my mother always put it. They married after they found out about my brother, and lived happily ever after. Happily ever after has a big price though. My father's name was Patrick Steven Hahn. He was a big man, very muscular with blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Everyone says both me and my brother look like him. He got a job as a construction worker after my brother was born, and I remember that he always smelt of dirt. It wasn't a bad smell, however. I know that when most people think of dirt, they think of "Dirty" and "Gross". But it wasn't. It was an earthy, calming smell. My daddy's smell.
My mother was the very opposite of him, having dark brown hair and a petite frame. Sarah Michelle Hahn was the very poster woman of motherly figures. Very polite and small, my mother had no trouble finding small jobs in the area for numerous companies. The problem was being able to keep them. It wasn't anything that she was doing wrong. It was just that It was stressful on her body having to take care of both me and my brother, and all that stress made her sick very often. The stress of the jobs weren't our only problem though. With two kids and a house comes big bills. Big bills that we didn't always have the money for. I remember hiding in our attic during rough times, so that our land lord would think we weren't home when he came to collect rent. It was because of this struggle that my mother wanted both me and my brother to become something important when we grew up, so that we didn't have to experience that sort of dread.
It was actually my Mother that inspired me to become a heart surgeon. Well, not exactly a heart surgeon at first. I actually wanted to be an astronaut for many years. I like Space. I like the mystery of it, the vastness of it. I wanted to discover my very own planet. I already had it settled that I would name the planet after my brother, and the moon my mother. Because the moon always watched over the planet like a mom watched over her son. This dream was squashed, however, when I found out that my heart wasn't strong enough. I didn't have any severe condition, it just didn't run as hot as it was suppose to. Needless to say, I was crushed. So I decided that I was going to become a heart doctor, so that I could help all the other little girls out there with weak hearts, so that they could become astronauts, even if I couldn't.
I was in the fourth grade when I discovered that I needed glasses. I didn't want to believe that I needed them. They looked dorky and I was convinced that I didn't need them. So when I first put them on when we were driving home, I started crying. I really started crying. Everything was just so beautiful, it was like being reborn again. For the first time in my life, I could see. I could see everything! The blurs in the trees became single leaves; the blotches of color on the ground became flowers. It was life changing. How is this important? Because this wasn't the last time that I found out I needed glasses.