CAST: Hiro, Leo, Nash, Mia, Jessica, Luna, Alex, Lucia, Mecha-Munster, Ramus, Ghaleon, Laike, Dirty Old Man, Dirty Old Man's Hot Teenage Wife

SCENE: Just Outside of the Nudie Forest

As we open, the group of idiots finally enters the long-awaited nudie forest. On the other hand, sticks pencil in eye, which then proceeds to gush blood See? Good clean fun.

Laike: I see you've finally arrived!

Nash: Oh my god! It's that one guy! And I am just #$% sexy!

Hiro: So, Laike we meet again. You can no longer frighten us with your weapons and clear threats of death. If this story has proven anything, it's that death is only a chapter long. Plus, we saw Godzilla having sex. You really can't do anything to top that.

Laike: Is that so? (drops pants)

Mia: (no longer Gary Coleman) (vomits)

Leo: Oh. . .my GOD! Shield your eyes!


Mia: (vomits. . .blood)

Lucia: #$%!

Nash: Meh. . .it's not that big a deal.

Jessica: I won't allow you to do this, you fiend! (rushes at Laike, staff held out as a weapon. The staff splinters over his naked awesomeness)

Laike: Your puny weapons are no match for my evil genitals! Now it is my turn! (does an erotic dance)

Mecha-Munster: This is becoming a porn fic quite quickly indeed.

Leo: Shut up! (kicks Mecha-Munster, which sets off a chain reaction, somehow clothing Laike)

Hiro: Ha! Now you are wearing the Pants of No Removal! You shall never be nude again!

Nash: (to self) Awww man. . .Also, I'm hot.

Alex: Luna!!!

Luna: What is it, Alex?

Alex: Luna! Luna, Luna!

Ramus: I think he's trying to tell us something! What is it, boy?

Alex: Lunaluna! Luuna!

Mia: (vomits black blood)

Hiro: (ignoring Mia's situation) I think he's a moron.

Mecha-Munster: M-U-S-T T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-E E-N-E-M-I-E-S O-F M-A-S-T-E-R H-I-R-O! (lifts Alex over his head and throws him through Laike, and they both lay motionless and dead)

Jessica: See? Problem solved.

(Ghaleon appears from nowhere once more)

Ghaleon: Oh, is it?

Jessica: Yeah, pretty much.

(suddenly, Ghaleon and Ramus are dueling to the death in an ancient Roman-style arena)

Ramus: How'd we get here?

Ghaleon: God, you need to pay more attention.

Ramus: What? (head explodes)

Ghaleon: Puh-leease, like I haven't seen that a million times before. (head exp. . .no, IMplodes!!!)

(cut back to the nudie forest where our heroes stand in front of the shrine where the dirty old man demands soap in exchange for temporary removal of clothes)

Dirty Old Man: So. . .you wish to bathe naked, do you?

Mia: (vomits kidney)

Dirty Old Man: As I thought. First, however, you must pass the test of the soap!

Leo: Here's some soap.

Dirty Old Man: Then, of course, get naked to your heart's content.

Nash: Don't mind if I do! (strips naked and jumps into bath)

Dirty Old Man: Who are you, to get naked in front of me? I am but a simple old man.

Nash: But you just said to-

Hiro: Geez, Nash, what part of "Dirty Old Man" don't you get? He wants to see someone good-looking naked, preferrably female and without foofy hair.

Nash: (cries silent tears of joy)

Lucia: Well, then, I suppose I'm first! (removes clothes and jumps in bath)

Dirty Old Man: See? Now that's better.

Mia: (stops vomitting. . .and moving. . .)

Leo: I save this for you, infidel! (slices Dirty Old Man into a million pieces. His hot teenage wife runs into the scene in terror)

Dirty Old Man's Hot Teenage Wife: Oh my God! I just got the phone call! (bawls madly over the corpse of Dirty Old Man)

Luna: Oh dear God! Laike's getting naked!