Rogue was fuming. She could feel her skin prickle as she tried to keep her anger at bay. She was far from the mansion now, some where deep in the woods in the back. She looked around; not knowing how far she had ran after Logan's confession.
She shook out the numbness in her arms, "Yah can't cry. Yah can't cry. Yah can't cry…" Rogue repeated the mantra over and over again. She could feel her sanity drip away with every word.
She covered her mouth to keep from screaming.
This wasn't happening. All this time she had always wondered where and who her parents were. She had dreams about them, made up of people she knew or once knew.
It was the only thing that kept her together when she was little and moving from one foster home to another.
She could still remember the day when social services came and took her away from her aunt Irene. She had begged, pleaded, and cried to them to let her stay.
Irene was a mutant, a seer, blind and very old. Too old to be taking care of a three year old.
Rogue could still remember Irene holding her tightly, making her promise to be good and that her mother was always going to be watching over her.
Rogue slumped back against a tree.
Mystique was a shape shifter.
She could have been watching Rogue all these years, for all she knew.
Rogue carried her head in her hands, "Ah'm gonna go crazy."
Why couldn't Mystique take care of her?
Why couldn't she tell Logan once she saw him again?
Why couldn't Mystique tell her?
Rogue wiped away her tears as she sobbed by herself in the forest.
It was beginning to get dark now. She lost track of time and couldn't figure out how long she had been out.
Maybe Logan didn't feel like he should be looking for her.
'Good,' Rogue thought, pulling her legs close to her chest 'I don't want to see his face anyway.'
Rogue massaged her neck; she must have fallen asleep at an odd angle. She twisted her neck, thinking where to go next. She didn't have the stomach to return to the mansion.
She wished that her friendship to Domino hadn't been cut off. She could have used a friend at the moment to talk to.
"What now?" Rogue whispered out loud. She rubbed he arms; the air was beginning to get chillier.
"You go home. What else is there?" responded a familiar voice behind the tree Rogue was sitting in front off.
Rogue knew that voice; it was now tattooed in her mind forever. But she sat still, not daring to move, hoping in some ways that she was hallucinating.
The large oak tree was the only thing keeping them separate now, each of their backs lying against the tree.
"I know I shouldn't be talking to you, Anna. If it means anything, I'm sorry that I hurt you."
Rogue snorted, "Doesn't mean much at all." She shrugged as if Mystique could see her. "Not like Ah meant much at all to you anyway."
"That's not true!"
Rogue shook her head. Wiping the tears furiously away, she hated to cry. She never wanted to cry, especially now in front of Mystique.
"Anna, I know that I haven't been the best mother. But I made sure where ever you that you were protected."
"Please, why should Ah believe yah?" Rogue could feel the heat spread across her face at the mention of her name. She never told a soul what her real name was. It was something she thought she could keep to herself forever.
Fresh new tears began to fall as Rogue tried her best to settle her breathing.
"I know what you must think of me." Mystique said after a while. "I'm cold, heartless, and ruthless." Rogue heard the other mutant sigh, "But that's only part of me. The other part of me…"
Rogue shook her head. "Whatever."
"I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you. I think it was right after I had a mission to break into this anti-mutant group or something. Anyway I was surprised."
Rogue rolled her eyes. "So Ah was an accident?"
Mystique didn't sound guilty or ashamed, "Not an accident, but a blessing."
"That's just a fancy way of saying that Ah was an accident." Rogue banged her head softly against the tree. She really didn't want to hear this.
"It doesn't matter what you call it. You were a blessing to us." Mystique sounded like she was smiling.
"James and I. I don't think I can ever erase the look of shock on his face. He was so happy."
Rogue blinked, not believing the other woman for a moment. She couldn't believe that Logan had a cheery bone in his body. He was more of the subdued type in any "happy" situation.
"He was happy?" Rogue fought the urge to walk over to the other side to be with Mystique.
"He couldn't wait to have a child. He was already talking to you; he kept hinting to me that he wanted a boy. But I caught him a few times saying that he wouldn't mind you being a girl. He said that he always wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle."
Rogue bit back a smile and snorted. "Never knew that Logan was so sentimental."
"I wasn't talking about Logan. I am talking about James." Mystique said with some anger in her voice. She sounded so strain, as if she was holding back her own tears.
Rogue gulped; of course she was talking about James. She knew all about Logan's forgotten double life from Kitty and Bobby.
She fidgeted a bit and stretched out her legs. "So, what happened next?"
"We had planned everything out. We were going to run away to where James used to live when he was younger. I had this vision of James working in the woods, me cooking and cleaning the house with you in your toy room. Everything was set and done. We even had a few of our things packed, but some members on our team became suspicious. They could tell something serious was going on between James and I, besides the fling they thought we were having."
Rogue nodded, not very sure that if she should say something or not.
"It was Sabretooth who told Thorton that I was pregnant."
"How did he know?"
She could hear Mystique give out a loud sigh. "He was always jealous of me and James. Jealous of James because he had me and jealous of me because I was taking James away from him. I still don't know how he managed to figure out that I was pregnant."
Mystique stopped talking, soon Rogue heard her begin to sob.
She wasn't so sure what to do next.
Mystique was her mom, and she wanted to comfort her, but it was still too weird.
"Ah know that part of the story. Y'don't have tah repeat it if yah don't want to."
Mystique sniffed, she could hear her daughter's voice quiver.
"Do you want me to go on with the story?" Mystique asked, still sobbing.
Rogue didn't answer her back, for a moment Mystique thought she would say 'no'. But instead, "Yeah…Ah need tah here this."
Mystique nodded, she was glad to continue the story. She had kept it to herself for all these years. It felt good to let it go.
"After the fight, I realized that James wouldn't come for me. For a while I just hid in the forest, thinking that Weapon-X would come hunt me down to finish their experiments on you and me. For a while I honestly thought that I would die in the woods , I kept thinking 'I'm going to lose everything and everyone'."
"So what happened?"
"I had a friend who lived in Mississippi; I went to her for help."
"She was a sweetheart." Mystique smiled. "She wanted me to name you Marie."
Rogue wrinkled her nose. "Marie? Really?"
Rogue jumped, surprised to hear Mystique laugh out loud. It sounded weird, not because it was Mystique laughing, but because the laugh sounded just like hers'.
"I didn't like it much either. James, when he thought I couldn't hear him when I was asleep would call you 'Anna'. It was his grandmother's name."
"L-James picked out my name?" Rogue asked astounded.
Rogue didn't try to fight back the tears that were now falling, cascading down her cheeks. It was one thing to find out that Logan was her father. But now knowing that Logan picked her name and was happy to be having a daughter made it sound so much more real.
"Anyway, after I gave birth to you, Irene told me that Weapon-X was coming after me and that if I didn't leave then I would be captured. Along with you."
Rogue couldn't see anymore, the tears were obscuring everything. "You ran to save me." It wasn't a question. From the memories she had absorbed from Logan, Rogue knew that Weapon-X was a very heartless group.
"If they had gotten you then you would have never had a chance to live. I didn't like it, but I had no other options."
Rogue could hear Mystique closer to her. "Ah know."
She could feel Mystique moving closer this time. "I thought leaving you with Irene was for the best. When I found out that social services had gotten involved with you I decided to come back and check on you."
Mystique was sitting next to her now. The blue skinned mutant was still crying. Rogue kept her eyes glues to the ground, trying hard not to notice that Mystique's hand was resting on top of her hand.
"I hated those houses that they picked for you. Every one of them rejected you because of your beautiful hair."
Rogue squeezed her eyes tightly as Mystique caressesed her hair. She felt like a little girl again.
"They called me 'skunk head'." Rogue's voice was hallow as the memories of those foster homes surfaced in her mind. She could remember some of the foster parents separating her from the other kids because they knew she was a mutant. The children weren't any better; they made her life a living hell (throwing rocks, threatening to cut her open and other things). But the times at each home were short.
"Where yah watching over me?" Rogue asked, she knew what the answer would be.
"Yes. I never had the heart to be too far away from you. Despite Irene's warning I did always find a way to report on the foster homes or disguise myself as a social worker to get you out."
Mystique was a bit surprised when Rogue rested her head on her shoulder. It made her finally feel accepted by her daughter.
"Ah had a good foster mom for a short while." Rogue felt oddly comfortable, not more than a couple of hours ago Mystique had tried to hurt her and now…
"Was that you?"
She could feel Mystique nod her head. "Yes."
"Yah used to make me call yah 'mama'." Rogue sniffed, 'Becky' had been her favorite foster parent.
"Hmm. For those few years everything seemed perfect."
Rogue could feel sleep overwhelming her. She tried to stay awake, but her body was defying her.
She wanted to stay up as long as possible and talk with Mystique. Deep down in her heart she knew that this was probably the only chance they would ever get once they returned to their normal lives.
"Sleepy?" Mystique asked with a sad smile, she rubbed her daughter's back soothingly.
Rogue nodded, "Yah still smell the same." It was true; Becky always smelled like wild flowers, it made her feel like she was five all over again.
Mystique didn't say anything for a while, she just watched Rogue try to stay awake. "I really am sorry for what I put you through… and what I will put you through."
Rogue opened her eyes again. "We're always going to be on different sides. Aren't we?"
Mystique closed her eyes, desperately trying not to believe that she would one day have to fight her daughter.
"I don't know." Mystique laid her head against Rogue's, inhaling the smell of her hair; she could still remember combing Rogue's hair and tying little ribbons. "I love you, Anna."
Rogue was already fast asleep.
Mystique slowly laid Rogue down on the bench outside the mansion. She was sure it was better this way. She had survived without Rogue not knowing, now…
She honestly didn't know anymore.
"She's always been stubborn to talk to."
Mystique smiled at the rough tired voice. "She got that from you." She turned around to see Logan, looking exhausted and –of course- upset.
Whether he was upset with Rogue or her, she wasn't so sure yet.
"How did she take it?" he asked, his eyes were locked on Rogue. She didn't look too upset.
"She seemed to take it pretty well."
Logan shook his head with arms crossed against his chest. "That's because you got to handle the calm after the storm."
Mystique eyed him; she could still remember the times where he would just hold her. She had had a lot of partners in the past.
But James was the exception.
"We should talk about this."
"By 'this', do you mean our daughter?" Mystique rolled her eyes.
Huh, didn't think dust could grow on fan fics.
There is a part three to this.
I'm glad a lot of you enjoyed the first part. Hope this one was just as good.