Another new story!!!!

Full Summary- Bella is blunt, loud, and crude. Emmett is her brother, Alice is her best friend, Jasper is Alice's lover, and Edward is Alice's brother that Bella has never met. Edward is shy and has trouble expressing how he feels. So how is he going to handle Alice's crazy ass friends? Then what happens when Edward falls in love with Bella? Can he suck it up and tell her or will he always be known as 'That guy' or 'Whats-his-face'?


"Bella where the hell are my Cheetos!" Emmett screamed from the kitchen looking at the spot that once held a bag of cheese Cheetos.

"I don't know!" I said but it sounded more like " I rono!" because of all the Cheetos in my mouth. Emmett came marching into the living room, so as fast as I could I swallowed the cheesy goodness.

"Are you sure you don't know Bella?" He said suspicious.

"Jeebus, can't a girl watch Law and Order without being accused of steeling a bag of chips?" I said while hiding the bag under one of the couches pillows.

"Okay then explain to me why your fingers are orange," he said looking at my crusty orange fingers.


"I don't know what your talking about," I said sounding offended.

"Hand over the chips," he put his hand out and I reluctantly gave him back his chips.

"Your such a cow Emmett!"

"Is that your way of telling me I'm hunky?" he said raising his eyebrows. I laughed, of course he would turn my insult into a complement.

It is sunday, and I'm piss bored.

"When is Alice coming?" Emmett shrugged scarfing down on his chips. Alice and I have known each other since the beginning of college, and we have been pretty tight ever since. Emmett is my brother so I'm forced to know him, but he's not to bad. I guess.

"Honey I'm home!" Speak of the devil and the fucking devil will come through your door with a lousy Ricky Ricardo impression.

"Yo!" I said not looking up from the T.V.

"Hey Alice! Jasper!" Alice has been with Jasper since after we graduated college which was a year ago. Jasper is a pretty chill dude most of the time, but give him some beers and you got yourself a monkey on crack. We are all pretty close, and probably always will be. Emmett and I are single which means Alice is constantly trying to set us up but they all end up the same way: epic fail. Well not always, rarely I would get good sex out of the deal, but like I said rarely. Emmett is a slut. I'm surprised he hasn't caught a disease or something.

"Guess what guys!" Alice said, when Jasper went to the kitchen. We were currently in my house, where Emmett and I lived. Emmett was unemployed and wasn't interested in changing that status, and I am a well known author, known for writing stories that will make you cry and question the sanity of the world. That's right, me Bella Swan, writes deep shit.

My house was a nice three story building in a secluded area. My house had four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a living room, a family room a.k.a the game room, a wrap around porch, and a slamming pool outside , of course a slide, oh and a swing set. One guest room was on the first floor, two were on the second floor, and my bedroom was all by its lonesome on the third floor, which was how I liked it. I never had to worry about hearing things I wasn't suppose to like cough-sex-cough.

Emmett's room is on the second floor and when Alice and Jasper stay over -which is a fucking lot- they use the other room on the second floor, so that room is pretty much theirs.

Alice sat next to me on the couch and I'm not gonna lie, the fact that she's bouncing is getting on my fucking nerves.

"Okay Alice, What?" I asked hoping the bouncing will stop!

"My brother is coming to visit me!"

"And this involves me how?" The way she was looking at me was very suspicious

"I need a huge favor Bella!"


"But you didn't even hear what I was going to ask!" She pouted

"Fine tell me."

"Can he stay here with us?" she said giving me those damn puppy dog eyes, luckily she has done that shit so many times I have grown immune.

"Hells to the no," I replied

"Puh-puh-please Bella!" she pleaded

"Fuck, fine! For how long?"

"Oh just a month or...three." she whispered


Then she went into a very detailed story about how since christmas was coming up – it is now October 16- that she would love for her brother to stay until then, since she hasn't seen him in person in about 2 years. I have never met her brother, but I'm pretty sure he's nice. I hope. So I agreed. I really hope I don't regret this! She hugged me and went to call her brother about the good news. Jasper gave me a beer for which I was very grateful.

"Thanks ho," I said taking a big gulp.

"No problem. Um, bitch?"

"Thats right!" I said. Ah I'm teaching him well.


"Ya Alice?"

"He's coming Friday!" Whoop-de-fucking-doo!



I really don't like airports. Where is Alice? I let out a relived sigh when I saw her car pull up. I threw my luggage in the back seat and got into the passenger seat.

"Hey Alice, I missed you." I truly did. Phone calls weren't enough.

"Me too Edward! I can't wait for you to meet my friends, oh and Jasper!" Oh ya her boyfriend.

"I'm excited too," I said staring out the window. Unfortunately I'm very shy and I hate it. I'm hoping her friends won't pressure me into talking. I have only seen pictures of her friends that she has sent on e-mail, and they seemed nice. She sent me an individual picture of each, with their names so I wouldn't have to deal with the whole awkward Whats Your Name Again conversation. I wanted to ask Alice if her friend Bella was single because I couldn't help notice how beautiful she was. But being me I won't ask.

We passed by a nice neighborhood and headed to a street that led into the woods. The street went uphill to a beautiful three story house. Wow, this is were Bella lived?

"It's awesome right?" Alice said noticing my awed expression.

"Ya, very beautiful." I grabbed my luggage and I followed Alice to the front door. She unlocked the door with her own key and she let me inside. The kitchen and the living room were connected and the whole place felt very spacious and comfortable. The kitchen had white everything, but with black granite and very expensive looking appliances. The living room had nice crème walls with a very impressive High Definition flat screen.

In the living I recognized Emmett, Jasper, and I must say the very beautiful Bella. Bella was sitting on the couch leaning her head on her hand, Emmett was in a oval wooden chair that had a orange cushion, and Jasper was walking towards us.

"Hello, Edward I presume?"

"Yes, that is me. Hello Jasper." He shook my hand then he gave Alice a kiss on the cheek.

"Everyone my brother has arrived!" She made it sound as if I was a celebrity or something.

"Ah Eddie my man!" Emmett yelled from his chair. I tried to ignore his nick name, hoping that it was a one time occurrence. Bella was still staring at the T.V. Oblivious to the fact that anything else was going on. Alice glared at Bella but she didn't see, but Emmett did.

"Ow! What the fuck you kick me for?" Bella screamed rubbing her leg. He looked at her then at me, she followed his eyes and she finally seemed to recognize she had a visitor.

"This is Bella, but I'm sure you already know that." Alice winked at me. What was that about?

"Heeeyyyyyyy....ya I forgot your name," she said nonchalantly

"Um, Edward." I said feeling awkward

"Yaaaaaaaa," she sighed "I'm not going to remember that." she said shrugging. I nodded and looked at my shoes, since I had no idea what to do now. I heard someone cough in front of me alerting me of their close proximity. I looked up to see Bella staring at me with a smirk on her face. "Don't move!" she ordered. My eyes widened as she walked around me, eyeing me up and down.

"Umm," I said feeling VERY awkward

"Shut it and stop fidgeting!"

"Okay." After a few more minutes of her expecting me, she stopped and stood in front of me again. She looked at me as if she was disecting me with her eyes which made me extremely nervous. Then after another minute of that she broke out into a breathtaking grin.

"I have finished my analysis!" Bella screamed happily.

"And..." Alice said smiling.

"Your brother is HOT!" That was when my face got red.

So what do you think? This chapter was to introduce you to the characters and locations.