Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.
BrandNewOrange gave me the prompt: Kisame, Hidan, and a doughnut. This was born from it. I apologise in advance ;)
Will Murder For Treats
By Nanaki Lioness
It was a little known fact that Akatsuki's lair- affectionately known as The Bat Cave to certain members- was actually quite a resourceful area. Despite outward appearances as being merely a cave and nothing more it housed bedrooms, a wonderfully decorated dining room, two lavish bathrooms (though only one had heated towel rails, they all lamented) and the general air of being quite luxury.
It also included a large kitchen complete with various items that rarely got used, mostly because none of them knew what the appliances actually did. Much to Kakuzu's chagrin it often ended up with various members ordering take out and blaming each other, completely screwing up his budget for the month and making him wish murder upon his comrades.
Today, someone had ordered a box of Dunkin Donuts.
Today, someone had eaten eleven of the twelve available sweet treats.
Well- maybe not alone, but regardless of how they got into such a position, it left Kisame and Hidan standing next to the innocuous box on the kitchen counter staring each other down.
The innocent doughnut was a simple plain iced one. Not very fancy, but incredibly delicious- both Akatsuki members knew this, and thus the battle commenced when Kisame put his hand out for it.
"Don't you dare," Hidan hissed, barring the action with his hand.
"Why? Because you want it? How is that fair?" Kisame retorted, withdrawing his hand slowly.
Hidan took advantage, snatching at it quickly, leaving Kisame to smack his hand away. Hidan drew his scythe menacingly, once again putting a hand out to the iced goodness, but Kisame wasn't intimidated. He drew Samehada and guarded the box, giving Hidan a glare that suggested it would be unwise to continue the argument.
"Why don't you just break it in half?" Kakuzu asked from his spot at the table, sitting with Itachi and sharing a look that suggested they both thought their respective partners were insane.
"I'm not sharing it with that heathen," Hidan intoned, eyes locked to Kisame's.
"There's an easy way to settle the argument," Itachi informed them, rising to a stand and stepping between them. He reached into the box and plucked the last doughnut from it, walking away and out of the room with it.
Both criminals stared in disbelief at his retreating back, finally turning to Kakuzu. Hidan was first to speak, snarling angrily at his partner.
"Kakuzu you cheap-ass, why can't you just buy more fucking doughnuts?"
"I didn't buy them in the first place."
"Why don't we have more nice things like that anyway?" Kisame agreed.
"Seriously Kakuzu, we wouldn't fight if we had this kind of thing around more."
"You're blaming me for your inability to share?"
Two glares on him suggested that yes, they were indeed. Kakuzu sighed, slipping from the room to escape the unfair accusation, leaving Hidan and Kisame alone once more.
Kisame was rummaging around in a cupboard, pulling out a box of strawberry Pop Tarts instead. Hidan's eyes lit up and he snatched the box from his fellow Akatsuki member.
There was only one wrapped treat left inside.
"Here we go again," Kisame sighed, taking the box back once more as Hidan locked his hungry eyes onto him. "Shall we break it in half?"
"I'll break you in half, seriously. Give it here."
Kisame stared at the box once more and handed it over. "Fine," he sighed. "You win. Go wild."
He let a smirk rise on his face as he left the room, heading to the power cupboard and flicking a switch. A screech of annoyance as the toaster died met his ears and he laughed to himself. That scream alone was worth the wrath of the other members for the sudden loss of power across the cave.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! :)