Have I Ever Told You I Love You?
A Short Numbuh 3/4 Story
Disclaimer: I Do Not own Kids Next Door. If I did, Wally would've proclaimed his love long ago.
Cold. That's what I was. Dreadfully, dreadfully cold. And not because of the wind, which chilled my body. Not because of the icy rain that was pouring all around me. Those things made my physical body cold, but what really made my cold was inside.
I always hid. Always. Not physically, mind you, but mentally. I had spent so long building up my "bad boy" exterior, that I used it as a wall, a mask. No one knows how cold I am inside. No one can see.
Expect Kuki. She can see it all. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but she can. She sees through my exterior, into my cold heart, but doesn't say anything. Maybe she is a stupid as she acts. Maybe she doesn't know what she sees. But she sees it all the same. And it worries me. It worries me that she may know what's going on inside my head. No one knows whats going on inside my head.
And that's why I'm here. Laying in the grass, in the park down the road. In the rain. In the cold. But I don't feel it, because I'm always cold. I'm laying here, wishing to just disappear. To be like a magician and say "abra cadavra" and POOF! no more Wally. It's not that I want to die. No, no, no. I just want to disappear. Go away. So I won't have to feel the pain.
The others don't know. I mean, of course they don't. They just see a tough Australian guy who will kick a bad guy's butt in his sleep. All except Kuki.
It always goes back to Kuki. I close my eyes and shake my head rapidly, as if that simple motion with get her out of my head. Her smile, her laugh, the way her hair flows when she skips (which is most of the time), the way her arms wrap around me when she's giving me one of her famous "bear hugs". I sigh softly, wishing that she was with me now.
I sat up quickly, not believing what I had just thought. Did I just wish Kuki was here? No, no I couldn't have. No, I wouldn't have. It must've been impulsive. It must've been! I thought, frantically. But no matter how many excuses I came up with, I knew that my wish had been pure. I did want Kuki to be there. I always wanted Kuki to be there. To be here. With me.
But I could never tell her. She'd never want me. A guy, who could have a mental breakdown at any moment. A guy who doesn't even know who he is. Never.
I sighed, trying to fight back tears. Why are you crying!? I thought, angrily. This isn't who you've made yourself, Wally. You've made yourself to be strong. You can't let one girl ruin this for you! But in my heart I knew that this wasn't just about "one girl". This was about me, slowly falling apart. This was about my exterior standing strong, but at the cost of everything inside crumbling away. The tears, salty and hot compared to the cold rain that was still falling on me, fell down my face in little rivers. They just kept coming and coming. I let out a sob that was edging at the back of my throat with effort; it had been so long since I had cried that I had to force it out of me. I had thought that the next sob wouldn't come, but after a few seconds of sitting with silent tears falling still, it came. Then another. And another. Until I was sobbing freely, my whole body shaking as I curled up in a ball in the muddy grass.
I had never felt so alone.
A/N Oh no, poor Wally! What will happen?? Keep a look out for the next chapter. And Remember R&R!! :)