The Copy Cat and his Uncle's Grandson.
I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter so don't bother asking or suing.
Chapter 1: The Snake Lady that Sought or The Boy Who Lived To Be Taken.
Little Whinging, Surrey, England, 1985
"No wonder my great grandfather left those bastards!" Anko muttered to herself in disgust. "We Malfoy don't care about squib mudblood mongrels of an equally squib ancestor, family or not."
"I should rip all the blonde roots from his head!!" She shouted only to be glared at by the people in this dreary but neat looking neighborhood. "Now I have to tell Kakashi his uncle has been dead for a couple years instead of debriefing him or retrieving him from a long term espionage mission, what kind of spy immerses themselves in that damn world just cause his daughter happened to be born with their "abilities", he was only supposed to spy here and send back useful stuff not get married and have children!? At least I don't have to run down his children, that Petunia kid of his is probably the most pathetic thing alive, I mean he sent for authorization to teach her his art only to send another letter saying he had to use a seal to silence her since she tried to turn him in to this government as a spy and called him a freak like her sister."
Hopefully this Akimichi relative is more tractable, Anko thought to herself. I mean his father, grandfather, and great grandfather faithfully reported every year and even sent some promising students to the hidden continents, though that was more the great grandfather and the grandfather mostly sent reports and some decent reports. But then the Father kept sending stuff that Kakashi's uncle's reports contradicted and the guy never sent anyone our way, though Sasumo only sent us that Rock Lee kid and that orphan girl Tenten. What the hell, what's the worst that could happen.
2 hours later, outside the Surrey Police Department.
I'm going to kill that fat bastard and his horselike wife!? Anko thought to herself as she exited the building just minutes before the explosive tags detonated. Just my luck that most of the police force here were exiles/spies from Iwa, but thanks to a little creative work I think I have set back their little spy/recruitment ring back for decades. Now how to get out of the trouble I'll be in if the Hokage and Council find out I was caught, I know the old man will be sympathetic since I was betrayed by a supposedly trusted source but with who my master is I doubt they would believe me.
"Anko." Spoke a white masked figure from the trees away from the blaze in the distance. "Report, how were you captured."
"The Akimichi's Great Grandson works for this firm here called Grunnings and is apparently a front for Iwa." Anko stated knowing her life was on the line even though this was one of the Hokages most trusted Anbu, even if he was a boy. "Here is the proof."
The boy snatched the papers from her hand without hesitation, and seemed to process it instantly. "I see, this is bad for our village. We need to somehow destroy their capabilities here without making any more scenes like you just did."
"If it helps one of the cars was full of vague but incriminating evidence, I removed anything that could have made it implicate the village or any of our spies while making it messy enough that it will lead to Grunnings." Anko reported immediately.
"You realize you'll never be able to be assigned out here again or at least for a decade right? Unless of course they don't have enough proof to link you to the crime, then you could possibly be used again." The masked boy responded in a monotone way.
"I understand that but the Dursley's are a loose end." Anko bit out still angry.
"Raccoon just took care of the Vernon's father and Osprey reports that the fat fool only knew what to do with you because of his father's instructions," Itachi Uchiha stated after taking off his mask just minutes before a patrol car passed by making himself look like a confused kid was child's play to him, meanwhile Anko used the camouflage jutsu to hide among the trees. "Osprey took his memories of you and any information he had on us, soon he will be hauled in and his Iwa masters will have him killed for his uselessness."
"What should we do about the failed mission though? The council will have my head if I go back empty handed!? I'm so close to Special Jounin and they'll probably bust me down to genin!!" Anko whispered to him harshly.
"Not my problem," Itachi stated emotionlessly. "if you had a child of potential or at least a child one of your mission objectives complete you would get off or at least deal with a minor punishment. But the "Dursley's" son is pathetic, out of shape, and spoiled too much to even make a horrible genin, your only other choice would be finding an heir of Sasumo Hatake and that is impossible since his daughter Lily is dead along with her paramour and her son, and then the other daughter is the mother of that pathetic lump and wife to Vernon."
"Damnit!" Anko growled to herself as she made her way quickly to number 4 privet drive trying to think of a way to salvage the situation.
"Remember to stay out of my way freak!" Came the voice of that little bastard Dursley from around the corner of the house, that was her target. What Anko saw surprised her since there was a slight kid with badly repaired glasses wearing clothes too large for him moving to garden the flowers as the fat lump went inside.
"Hurry up boy!" Vernon's loud voice bellowed from inside the house.
Hearing the shout and the words Anko recalled a drugged haze as she passed out from the drugged tea and before that was the image of this same boy peaking out from a small room under the stairs. Suddenly it hit her, here was a kid that had to be a relative of the fat bastard that was in reasonably good shape and best of all he probably has plenty of info overheard from the fat fool and his buddies, a win win situation all around that is until Osprey caught her attention.
"I think this Vernon is a informant for the stick wavers." Osprey told her once they met in some trees near the house but outside the wards Osprey showed her. "Judging by the ward seals he must be pretty important to their efforts to make sure we don't "taint" there circle of influence with our lesser selves."
"Then it looks like we need our own little information source." Anko drawled as she noticed the glasses wearing boy wander outside the ward seals, knowing that this was more important than before she acted decisively.
"Hey kid!" Anko said as she suddenly dropped next to him. "Name's Anko!"
"Hi...miss Anko..." The boy responded shyly as he shook her extended hand only for light to ripple over his body and his eyes roll up into his head as strange markers evaporated like smoke from his body, before he had even passed out Anko had him over her shoulder and shunshined away before any kind of stick waver could have responded. Knowing that the slight bits of magic that their squib heritage gave them mixed with body energy that became known as chakra would mask any trace they were there.
"Oh boy." Osprey muttered as their was suddenly a great many pops in the area as the stick wavers appeared, some already sending what they called spells his way, as a stunner hit he cursed Anko's recklessness just before his shadow clone popped when they tried to grab him, leaving them nothing but a manikin with certain seals hidden inside to make it appear as the work of a fellow stick waver.
Authors Note. Here's a response to a challenge posted in Alysiastorms profile. Wow, strange days ahead huh? How will little Harry deal with the knowledge of being kidnapped? How will others deal with him not being a Akimichi? For that matter what about him having no info they can use? Find out next time.