I got this idea while brushing my teeth this morning... which is weird because I usually get my ideas in the shower. But I guess they're both weird places to get ideas, huh?

Ah... inspiration is sich a random thing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"You haven't gone home!"

"Yes I have!"

"When?" Leah asked, suspiciously.

"Two... three days ago?" Jacob answered, faltering. He couldn't actually remember.

Leah raised her eyebrow in apparent victory while Jake sighed in defeat.

They were a few miles off of the Cullens' place, doing their usual patrol of the morning (before he went to go see Nessie) when Leah attacked him about not going home and being with Nessie all the time.

Well, thats what I need her for. Jake thought, almost affectionately. Somebody to keep me grounded- and to remind me that I need to go home sometime.

"And you guys aren't even having sex. I can't imagine how whipped you'll be then." Leah muttered.

Jacob heard, froze and blushed, something that Leah couldn't help but snigger at.

He's such a...

"Shut up! Its not like that!!" Jacob yelled, still blushing.

"How cute." Leah cooed, and laughed gleefully.

Hm... I could probably take advantage of this. Because God knew, Leah loved torturing her pack.

Jacob remained silent – an embarrassed silence – and Leah waited until he got control of his blush. Torture was best served unexpected.

"Hey... lets have sex." Leah suddenly said. This time, Jake faltered on his step and nearly fell flat on his face. Leah snorted and stopped to point and laugh at him.

"Your- your such a virgin!" Leah managed through her laughter. Jacob reacted to sex the way Seth used to react to her period- don't speak about it.

Jacob growled in annoyance and tackled her, cutting her off and making her gasp.

"Shut it, Clearwater." Jake murmured, strangely husky. He was on top of her, his body completely molding into hers as if he belonged there. Leah was far too focused on making Jacob uncomfortable and Jake was too annoyed for either of them to pay attention to their position.

"Awww, somebody's embarrassed." Leah said, smirking.

"Sex." She said. Jacob stiffened before glaring. He wasn't embarrassed of the word but he was waiting for her to bring Nessie into it.

"Sexual intercourse." Leah continued, not at all detered by his glare, far too accustomed to it.

"How many ways can you say sex?" Jacob muttered. Leah took it as a challenge.

"Intercourse, sexual relations, mating, copulation, nooky, whoopee, bonking, boinking, boffing, a roll in the hay-"


"-quickie, fornication, coitus, coition, seduce, ravish-"

"Okay, okay, I got it!" Jacob yelled, strangely horrified by the strange bit of knowledge she had. Leah looked like she was going to continue so he did the only thing he knew would silence her.

He kissed her.

Just because Jacob acted like a virgin, didn't mean he was one.

Hes still cute though.

Leah wrapped her legs around Jacob's waist, her arms touching his chest, feeling and memorizing every perfect muscle – in her opinion – there.

In that moment, she was glad that he never wore a shirt.

Their kiss grew intense, there normally rapid heartbeat doing double time. They breathed heavily through their noses, not at all wishing to part. They did eventually, each breathing laboriously, their chests rising to meet each others'.

They stared into each others' eyes, each heavy with lust. Leah squirmed when she felt Jake's growing erection, making Jacob wince.

"Leah..." He pleaded. It was too late, he wanted her.


"Your... your supposed to go home." Leah mentioned with half lidded eyes.

"Later." Jacob answered, as he removed her shirt. He was pleased to find that she wasn't wearing a bra and sucked her breasts greedily.

"O-okay..." Leah whimpered and reached for his shorts at the same time as Jake, who reached for her own.

They didn't get home until after dark.

Uh... I have no idea what happened. It was just supposed to be a funny, short little thing but turned into this. I couldn't bring myself to write the lemon for some reason.

I hope you liked it anyway.

Please review!

And feel free to tell me another way to say sex- in a review of course!