Title: Twintastic Troubles

Author: darkmoon666

Pairings: Fred/George, Harry/Bill, Remus/Hermione/Severus, Ron/Tonks, Ginny/Sirius

Warning: TWINCEST

Summary: Fred and George come out to their parents a few days before Christmas, along with Harry and his significant other . . . . And a few other shocking couples join the mix, too. GW/FW, BW/HP, RL/HG/SS, RW/NT, GW/SB

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or his friends, his enemies, and the many other people who make his world amusing for a bored student.


Mrs. Weasley screeched. Loudly; her voice caused eardrums to rupture. Or, it would have, had the twins not placed her under a Silencing Spell moments before.

Fred and George watched from the safety of the couch as their mother stormed as she paced with lips and jaw working furiously, soundlessly. Luckily, she was still under the spell. Really, how were they supposed to know that telling their parents the truth was going to cause such uproar?

The twins, natural soul mates since birth, had finally decided to tell their parents of their relationship, closer than even brothers. Since their father was in the hospital, they decided to tell their mother, and later on their father. To say in the least, their mother's reaction was a blow-up, much like the explosions in their room as they experimented with potions and Muggle solutions for their joke shop.

In their seventh and last year of Hogwarts, the entire Weasley was staying at Grimmauld Place, including Bill and Charlie (though minus Percy because he was still a stuck-up prick and the hospitalized Arthur). Harry and Hermione had joined the group, as well as Harry's Godfather Sirius and multiple members of the Order of the Phoenix (of which George and Fred still weren't members, even though they were seventeen).

~~~ooo~~~

Dinner that night was an awkward affair. Mrs. Weasley chopped furiously at vegetables, actually using a knife rather than her wand to expel some anger. Fred and George weren't up to any of their usual tricks; instead, they set everything on the table by hand. Seventh years were allowed to use magic on the hols so they could practice for the NEWTS, even though they were more than five months away.

"Did you tell her?" Harry curiously asked the twins over dinner. Similar red heads nodded positively, and Harry smirked. "I take it went well, then, hmm?"

He was glared at by two sets of hazel eyes. Harry's hands went up defensively. "No need to take it out on me!" he yelped, attracting the attention of Mrs. Weasley, though none of the three noticed.

Since the twins were sitting on either side of Harry (Mrs. Weasley had wanted them separated somehow, and Harry was her buffer), they each had the ability to poke him sharply in the sides, under the table.

The Weasley matriarch stood with a bustle, her face heating up. "Is Harry involved in that too?" she questioned angrily.

Knowing what she was talking about immediately, Harry's arms rose, his elbows resting on a shoulder of each twin. "And if I said yes?" he asked peculiarly.

"Harry, you can't be gay! What of Ginny?" she exclaimed.

"Mother, please, leave them alone! Besides, I'm already taken; I'm sorry to disappoint you, Harry," Ginny told the room with a saucy wink.

"What are you talking about?" Mrs. Weasley said at the same time Harry replied to the redhead girl, "Nothing to worry about; I'm quite satisfied by my own significant other, and it's not these rambunctious twins here."

"I'd hope not," Bill told Harry from the other end of the table. The teen smirked at the elder man and shoved the twins' arms from the back of his chair. He walked around the table and plopped in Bill's lap. Bill's arms tightened around Harry's waist as he rested his chin on the bony shoulder.

Molly paid no attention to her eldest son and 'adopted' son Harry. Her gaze was fixated on a squirming Ginny. "And who are you with, Deary?" she asked tersely.

Sirius palmed his forehead and exchanged fed-up glances with the girl. "That would be me, Molly," he said, raising his hand slightly in the air.

"She's just fourteen!"

"It's not stopping me, either," Ginny commented as she, too, left her chair to sit on her love's lap. Sirius gently kissed crown, and the girl's face glowed, pleased.

"I suppose now's the time to say I'm pregnant?" Hermione mused aloud.

Severus, sitting across from her, hit the floor in a dead faint, sliding under the table.

The bushy-haired girl ducked her head under the table but came up the next moment with an amused smirk on her face. "Hmm, and here I was thinking he could take a joke…"

"Are you really serious?" Remus asked worriedly. He wasn't a fan of Severus in person, and vice versa, but he still worried about the couple, especially as Hermione was too smart for her age. Secretly, he wanted both of them…in bed. However, Remus wasn't the one to speak up.

Hermione gave Remus an interested glance when he turned his head away, and planned on asking Severus, once he woke, if he'd be interested in a threesome.

Sirius answered Remus' question. "Nope, I'm Sirius. Nice to meet you Mister…?" All he got was a glare from Remus, and an amused glance from Tonks.

Tonks' hair turned a bright orange color, matching that of Ron, her boyfriend. "Oh Ronniekins," she teased. The gangly teen's face turned a bright tomato red as the clumsy woman stood. She literally fell into his lap, tripped up by Severus' limp arm sticking out from under the table. She scowled at the sprawled limb (though it was quickly pulled completely under the table by Hermione, who had dropped from her own chair to protect her defenseless lover, and hopefully wake him up) but made herself comfortable in the youngest Weasley male's lap.

Molly's eye twitched. "How did this happen?" she asked, her voice scarily neutral. She was glaring at Sirius, but Harry answered, and she finally directed her attention to the teen, seemingly surprised to see him sitting on Bill's lap.

"You see, we found a couple bottles of fire whiskey in the cellar, though of course it wasn't labeled and didn't taste like fire whiskey as it was really old. Then Hermione remembered a Muggle game called Seven Minutes in Heaven, where two people have to spend seven minutes together in a closet… To tell the truth, we tried to get Ginny away, but she stole the whiskey, and by this point we were all really knackered, so she joined in and ended up with Sirius… And everyone kept the couples to this day," he finished.

"When did my baby girl get drunk," she questioned scarily. Harry gulped and slid down in Bill's lap.

"The other week, when you, Charlie, and Remus were visiting Dad in St. Mungo's," Fred replied. After all, the entire point of conversation was his and George's fault.

The mother's eye twitched again, closely followed by the other. "So you two got together…and stayed together after playing that ridiculous game?" she questioned testily.

George smoothly answered, "Of course not, Fred and I've been sleeping together since fifth year!"

Everyone smacked his or her forehead. And George was supposed to be the smart twin.


Huh, I was NOT expecting that, I can say for sure…. Originally, it was a Fred/George coming out story…that included Harry…but that escalated to include Bill/Harry…. And it went on from there.

So please review :)

~Moony