Warning: some (very vulgar) language is used. Some ambiguity.

- - - - - - - -



…ed, need, need… want, want… want… lust…


What happened? I feel sleepy… how long was I asleep? Was I asleep? When did I fall asleep? Why am I on the floor? Am I… naked?! Oh my god, oh my god…

Oh no, I'm wearing pants, okay… this is okay…

Wait… if that's my bed… why am I not in it? Why did I sleep on the floor? I think… there is someone in my bed. I'm twenty, I don't have sleepovers anymore. So then that means that… did I score last night? With who and… no, I couldn't have… I'm sleeping, or… was sleeping - did I sleep? I can't even remember any more - at least, on the ground in a little makeshift bed. In one-night stands, you don't make a bed on the floor for yourself to sleep in unless you know the person…

In one-night stands, you don't look your partner in the eyes.

I sit up in "bed" and crawl over to my real bed, looking over the lump of a body under the sheets with nervous anxiety boiling over in my stomach.

Did I kill someone? I don't think they're moving…

In one-night stands, you don't have names. In one-night stands, you don't…

Today, the morning of the twenty-second day to count since moving in, there is one guy - that's right, a boy, - laying in my bed. The twenty-second morning, there is one man, a red-haired sleeping beauty, sleeping in my bed. So, on the twenty-first night, I…

In one-nights stands you don't kiss like you mean it.

I got him/ I rescued to fair maiden from his twenty nights of lusting and loathing decision that I didn't take him home? Hook line and sinker? I got him…

He's so cute… he's blushing while he's asleep. How cute! And he's in my bed. He looks so peaceful, so angelic… he must be an angel. He just has to. He seems…

Just like that?

In one-night strands, you don't have names, you don't look your partner in the eyes, you don't have names.


I got him at last?

You don't kiss like you… you don't…

Just like that.

I have to touch; I have tot touch him. I raise a hand. I touch his cheek.

… names. Names. Names…?

Just like…

I take my hand back. Touching him sent an electric shock through my system. He murmurs in his sleep. Did he feel it too? He snuggles closer to the pillow, smiles from a reverie of something. I wonder… is he dreaming? What's he dreaming of? You know… he looks sorta…


My stomach growls weakly and I smile, releasing a little giggle. I'm so hungry… when did I last eat anyway? With my stomach empty, I basically forget that there's someone in my bed for a second, especially the guy I've want for twenty straight nights.

I step out of my bedroom and shut the door behind me, a little habit I picked up from dorming in college. Trust me, if you don't shut and lock your door, you're doomed to loose everything you own.

Quickly, I'm in the kitchen and opening the refrigerator and looking for something to eat. I dunno about you, but bacon and eggs sounds like a good idea.

… sorta familiar.

My memory must be worse than I thought. I can't even remember what happened last night. It feels like I know him, somehow. Do I? Huh…

I try to recollect last night as I pull the eggs from the fridge, rather unsuccessfully, of course. Maybe I should get myself checked for Alzheimer's or something. Can I even get that at my age?

Bending over, I reach for two frying pans, one for eggs and the other for bacon. I set to get breakfast ready for myself… and my guest of course.

In one-night stands, you partner leaves before the sun comes up. In one-night stands, you don't stick around. In one-night stands, you're gone before you know each other's names.


I can't even remember the last time I had anyone sleep in the same room as mean. I mean, yeah, Kenny and Butters are right next door (sleeping together, of course), but I mean like a sleepover or something… although, this probably wasn't a sleepover, if you know what I mean. Or at least, my inner being hopes that it wasn't just a sleepover - the little guy needs some satisfaction too, you know… nonetheless, I haven't had one in a long time. A sleepover, I mean! Not that other thing… stupid perverted mind… I mean, I hadn't had one - a sleepover, mind you - even in college. I didn't even have a roommate back then. It was just me, ya know? I like the privacy though… more time to sleep, I mean. Promise that it was about sleeping… er, no that sleeping that I did last night, I think, but the sleeping that I also did last night… um, no, wait! That's not it… the kind were you… god, never mind! But still, that means that I probably haven't had a sleepover since I was in high school, when I still lived in South Park with mom and dad. Truthfully, South Park wasn't all that bad, I mean, I had friends that helped me out and helped me cope with that insanity that was the population of that Podunk shit-hole. Like Kenny and Butters and…






I see now…

Is something burning? I think the eggs are burning…

Eggs! They aren't burning - I can still save them; hurry, hurry…

"Stan…?" I look up from the eggs slightly from the eggs that I just saved from a burning demise that is my frying pan. I show I heard him, but can't take my eyes off the eggs - I don't want them to actually burn this time. "I, uh… borrowed some clothes. I hope you don't mind…" I shake my head.

"Nah, 'course not," I tell him, turning around to take the eggs off the pan to place them delicately on the plate. "I hope you don't mind scrambled eggs, I was just a little hungry, so I thought you could, uh, use some too…" I look up slowly to him.

G… God!

Dear god, he may be my super best friend, but why'd you have to make him so hot?

So, yeah. He's just standing casually in my kitchen with one of my dress shirts on that's way too big for him in the first place. And is he wearing pants?

"And, you didn't have any clean pairs of pants that I could find, and mine were all wet or something…"

No, of course he isn't! He's really hot.. Oh, god, please let me look at him a moment longer, please? Well, 'cause everyone knows that saying, 'if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.' But, then again, I am the one that's cooking, so… is that backwards?

You know, I really can't believe that this is the same red-headed boy I grew up with. It's pretty unbelievable. Especially that fact that's he's the same guy I've been dying to kiss and, to be blunt, fuck for the past twenty - maybe twenty-one - nights, only to find out that he is that same kid that I grew up with. I mean, back in high school… well, how do I put this? I never he was gay, first off. Though, now that I think about it… he never did date any one. I don't' think he ever dated at all, in fact! But still. He never told me he was gay. I mean, he was my super best friend. And being super best friends, he should have told me! But, I didn't ever really tell him I was half-gay… but I didn't know that I was at the time! I guess that makes us slightly even if maybe he didn't know either… but what if he did?

"Stan?" He asks, snapping his fingers in my face. "Earth to Stan! Do you read?"

"Huh? What…?" I ask, not exactly sure of anything right now. I must be slipping more than I thought. I can only imagine what I'll be like when I'm old and have reason to be senile…

But he just laughs at me. "I said, 'thanks,'" he informs me with that little, tittering smile on his delicate, pink lips - god, help me so I won't stare at them any more, he's my super best friend! I can't help but blush lightly. God, he's so cute! Was he like this in high school too?! I can't remember… god, fuck this!

"Oh," I say. "Sure thing."

He just looks at me with those green eyes of his, licking his lips with his little pink tongue.

Kissing, touching, lust, dragging hands across tender flesh. Those are the image that come to my mind when he does that. I remember he tasted so good; so, so good… I want him again…

No! Stupid fuck!

He's your super best friend!

But last night, we…

Until we figured we were each other, apparently the same people we'd been lusting after for for years now, screw twenty days alone! I must be dreaming. Only in my dreams did I have the gull to ever do anything to him. Let it be day twenty-two. The twenty-second day that I see him at the bar, burning with agony to just kiss him, just to touch him, just to have him feel me a little…

Super best friends…

Last night, we…

"Come on," I say, holding up his plate of eggs. "Let's sit and eat." I think he'll be okay to eat eggs and toast. Not kosher, but then again, I can't remember what is. Maybe I'm already senile and when I'm older and supposed to be senescent like so, I'll actually have a fantastic memory for things that aren't random facts about male sea horses being the ones that get pregnant or other crazy shit like polar bears and bridges in Boston.

"Thanks," he says in a sweet voice again. God… how many times can I say that he's really hot? I think we should count now.

Just saying, but he should not be running around in my house without pants.

Then again… he's hot (look, one already)! So it's okay.

But it's his fault if I end up molesting him.

I'll hold him to that (literally).

"So," he says as he sits at my table to eat. "What have you been up to?"

I shrug. After college, I didn't do much of anything, and that's exactly what I tell him. He just laughs at me. He likes to laugh. I like his laugh.

"That sounds just like you, Stan," he smiles graciously, but I think I can see something mischievous behind that cute exterior of his.

"Hey," I say, pointing my fork at him. "I could do anything I want… you know, if I put my mind to it."

"Yeah?" He asks, leaning forward slightly with a now truly mischievous look on his lips. God, his lips… he's so cute! "Like what?" That makes two.

Like you, of course.

Super best…

Last night…!

Hey, he just opened himself to be attacked right there. I bet he knows it too.

"Well," I say, looking away to think like the tease that I am. I can't exactly think of anything if I'm thinking about how cute he is - how many does that make again? I lost count now - you know. I'm pretty sure anyone in my position couldn't. "I could, I dunno…" I shrug. "Do whatever I want, of course."

He blows a little raspberry. Too cute! … What comes after ten? "What'd you major in college?"

I chuckle. He knows he's losing. Or am I? "Business and engineering." He smiles. Shoulda known, he should have.

You know, he's kinda close… if I could just lean in a little…

"Well, what about you?"

"Me?" He points to himself in question.

"No," I say with blatant sarcasm. "The window! Yes, you, who else?" I laugh. He laughs. We laugh. It's nice…

"Well, I dunno, I thought you asked the window? But, I dunno about aforementioned window, but I majored in forensics and French." French? As in, français French? Oh. That's hot. Double-T hot, of course. Dead bodies, however, are not. Oh… that rhymed.

"Isn't that the thing like on CSI and stuff? Dead bodies and whatnot?" He blinks at me.


"You said you majored in forensics."

"Oh! Uh, I meant to sat law. I only took a route study in a minor for forensics." I blink at him. I'm slightly confused. I lean in. Perfect! Just a little more now…

"So, you majored in law and French, taking a minor in forensics?" he nods, I shiver. Damn! This kid had a lot of time on his hands. "Man, how could you stand the dead bodies?" He shrugs.

"I think Kenny got me used to it."

He's like right there now, almost got it… just a little more…

"Yeah?" I ask, very blankly. I'm too busy looking at him and trying to find a way to get closer than really pay attention to anything at the moment. My motives have switched.

"Yeah…" he just whispered back. He knows what I'm trying to get.



Fuck it! I don't care if he is Kyle or - no, wait, I do that he is Kyle, because I…

Just a little more… just a few more centimeters to cover, then…

Names. One-night stands. Tastes. Fingers on skin. Sweat. Lust.

Because I think…

Need. Close. So close, just a little ore…

I think I like…

Funny that a conversation of the science of dead people and how they died got us this close.

No, because I may just love…

He breathes against my lips. He's ready for this. Love me 'til you drug me, honey.

Because I really do love--

"Stan!" Way to go, Kenny. Great fucking timing! I shoot back in my seat. Kyle sucks his lips slightly into his mouth. "Did you score last night?! I mean, you didn't come find us to make us take you home so I assumed…" I stare at him incredulously.

God. I swear. This time, Kenny McCormick will die.


I'll see you in hell, Kenny.

Kenny is just staring at him. Doesn't he know that's kinda rude? Kyle blushes slightly. Well, I don't know that he did, but I almost completely certain he did. Kenny takes a tentative step forward, then goes into a light jog towards him. He circles him once, staring close at him. Kyle's a little confused, I can tell. Kenny sniffs him, which makes Kyle pull a slight grimace, with possible disgust for Kenny.

Kenny then leans down in front of him, leaning against the table for support. He stares at him blankly for a few seconds. I'm a little pissy right now, if you haven't noticed, by the way. I'm ready to hit him. Again. Maybe this time, I'll break a rib or something. Anyone remember where I keep my steak knives?

Then, Kenny's eyebrows shoot up. He quickly grabs him by the collar and pulls Kyle toward him before I can even take one breath. And he licks his nose.

"Just as I thought!" Did he know it was Kyle all along?!

He just licked his nose! What the fuck?

"It's Kyle. How ya doin' old buddy?" Kenny raises his hands and grabs Kyle by the cheeks, and yanks him in quickly, kissing him straight up on the lips.

Kenny! God dammit, I'll fuckin' kill you, you little piece of shit, you're straight out of your mother's womb!

Kenny leans back, licking his lips lightly with a smack. "Yup, you're definitely Kyle alright. Ya taste just like 'im!"

Mother fucking…

Kyle's blushing so hard I think his whole body turned red as he looks at Kenny. "Kenny?! I mean, Kenny, I…" he glances at me, then back at Kenny. Have they… when did they… they've kissed before?!

… piece of chicken shit! That's what Kenny is!

Why am I not aware of shit like this?

I can feel my eye twitching.

"Kenny, you…" I start.

"Stan?" The front door opens. I glare back at it.

"What?" I scream out. Butters, at the door, is shocked and backs up slightly, hiding behind the door again.

"Uh, Kenny disappeared so, I though that he was over here…"

"Yes! He is!" I scream, then take a deep breath. I need to calm down. I sigh softly. "Please, just get him out of here…" Butters nods, stepping in and closing the door behind him, unlike his boyfriend! He looks up and blinks at the redhead being smothered by the aforementioned boyfriend's hugs and rants of, "it's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Every time I look at Kenny now, I just seem to get a little angry 'cause he's always doin' something'.

Butters pauses before the table, one hand raises slightly in the air. He looks so feminine right now! You know, with the pose that a girl sometimes takes when she's offended or confused, on hand raised in the air and turned slightly, looking incredulously at so-and-so, which happens to be Kyle right now. "Kyle?" He asks, a little smile pulling to his lips now. But right now, Kyle's too busy trying to get Kenny off of him. I help. By hitting Kenny over the head.

"Ow!" He shouts, backing off with a grunt. "Ya didn't have to hit me!"

"Yeah," I say, glaring at him as he rubs his head slightly. "I kinda did." He glares back at me. I then lope my arm around his neck, looking back at our counterparts quickly while the greet each other after a long time. I smile, because both of them are - mostly the fact that Kyle is - smiling. "Look, dude," I say, turning back to poke Kenny's nose. "Back da' fuck up for a minute, 'kay? So, tell me why you know how he tasted." I say softly, right in his ear, digging my finger into his cheek with a curious and disgusted frown. He slaps my finger away slightly.

"Okay, okay," he says, frowning back at me. He looks over his shoulder, so do I. Butters and Kyle are just smiling, being happy and such. He looks back at me, then we both look downward to hide our voices from the other two in the room. "But only if you tell me what happened."

I frown at him. "Okay," I say, sighing slightly. "We were about to… ya know," I say, making a stupid and pointless circular motion with my hand.

"Have sex," he interjects, as if he already knows. I grunt.

"Yeah, that," I shiver lightly with a shake of my head. "But anyway, before we got there, he and I, uh… moaned," I feel so awkward. Why am I telling Kenny this? Because I need to know. Or else the thought of them having kissed before would kill me. "And, you know that like rule from the invisibly obvious book of one-night stand rules that everyone knows even though it doesn't actually exist? And how one rule is that it's okay if you, like… call out for someone else because… stuff and such," God, get on with it! Where am I even going with this? Kenny nods blankly anyway, but watches me intently as if he's absorbing all of this slowly. "Well, we both kinda did, but we called out for each other before we really… uh, realized who we were… and…" Kenny nods, staring at me still. It feels like he's trying to look into my soul or something. "Can you stop with the staring thing? It's kinda freakin' me out." He nods, but still stares at me. I grunt a sigh. He laughs.

"Just kiddin'," he says, raising his hands in mock defeat again. Then we're quite and he stares at me. "Go on…" he says, slightly sing-songedly.

I glare at him. "That's it…"

He nods blankly again. "I see," then turns back to look at Butters and Kyle, who're just havin' a grand old time, I'm sure - much more than Kenny and I. "So you didn't realize it was Kyle until after you almost fucked him?"

"Yes, now what's the story about you two that I obviously never learned about?"

"Oh?" He asks, turning back to me. "What?"

"The thing about you kissing?" He looks at me like I have a third eye. Do I…? Whatever! "You said it tasted the same as before or some shit like that."

"Oh." He grunts that out, looking back at Kyle. He doesn't answer me. God, I hate this kid sometimes! So I tackle him to the wall. Then I hear Butters and Kyle both scream.


After peeling me off Kenny, Butters clung to Kenny instead while I fumed off on Kyle. Not in the way I'd like to vent to him, but this works too.

"What's got your panties in a wad?" Kyle knows I don't wear panties. He knew last night. So why's he asking?

I shrug. But what hasn't Kenny done (or, rather, who)?

Kyle punches me lightly in the shoulder, very playfully; like we used to do. "Lighten up, okay? It's no big deal." I stare down at him - he's much shorter than me. Does he know? Maybe he does. He seems like the type that would know everything. He smiles brightly up at me and tugs gently at my hand. I smile back.

Hey, I can be calm until he leaves, at least.

I'm just hoping he doesn't leave; for Kenny's sake and my own.

But mostly my own sake, of course.

- - - - - - - -

Not nearly as good as the first chapter; I'm really, really sorry if I scarred your soul permanently. If you want, you can stop reading and imagine it ended at the first chapter (or after Kenny breaks in, because it's good up until that point, in my opinion… please read & review, thank you!)…