To all those reading my story Silence, I am so horribly sorry, it's not even funny. My plot bunnies just hopped right out the window and off into the dark. It is my new mission in life to bring them back, but for now, I'm so sorry.

Now, to all those reading THIS story (which you must be if you're reading this) I'm sorry again. My writing time has been limited lately and things got out of hand.

Well, now that that's done, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or Pon & Zi (whoever owns them is extremely lucky)

You won't go to Heaven because you'll make all the other angels look ugly.

She swirls the blood imitation carefully as the clock strikes one. It is bitter and unpleasant but it's the only exception to academy law and she'll accept it. (Because he enforced the laws and never – never – could she go against him.) So she waits and waits and waits. Even though she knows she's lying to herself when she says someone has to wait and welcome him. (Stupid girl, he'll never come home for you, wasting your time...)

So she waits some more and sips the bitter tablet water and dreams of what it would be like if he did come home just for her. (And no one bothers to remind her that he won't be home for another three days, she knows...) In fact, she sits there until there are footsteps on the staircase and finally someone has noticed that maybe she's a little too far gone this time.

"Ruka? Why are you still awake?" The curtains are shut to hide her from the sun, casting the dorm into its own personal night.

She stares at him, wordlessly. She tilts her head to observe him carefully, still without sound. Finally she speaks when he fidgets uncomfortably and is about to speak himself. (Because he's not sure if she is sleep walking or out of her mind.)

"Am I a bad person?"

He thinks for a minute, considering his response carefully.

"You could be." She turns her head so that her hair is a wall between them and silently taps the cushion beside her. (Sit with me.) So he does. (Because they are the same and he can't deny her anything.)

"I've done horrible things." She says quietly. There is an atmosphere that begs for peace and silence.

"You've been... manipulative." She turns her face to him and smirks.

"To say the least." Suddenly she frowns, placing her glass on the table in front of her. "Why are you so accepting of me?"

He bites back his reply. (Because I love you, obviously...)

"I've known you for a long time, Ruka." She lets out a sort of half-snort, which isn't quite lady-like, but still manages to be venerable. (She is, after all, still Ruka Souen.)

"And that's given you a tolerance?"

He sighs. "Well..."

"Exactly." She whispers fiercely. Her eyes burn with anger, determination. "I don't understand you. I drag you through the dirt repeatedly, and you still try to defend me. I practically have a one-way ticket to Hell. Anyone else would have abandoned me years ago and yet you're still here."

"You're not going to hell." (Angels are such jealous things, so competitive...)

She looks at him, pondering.

"You seem sure of yourself."

"I am." (Oh how jealous they'd be of you...)

"Why?" (Such beauty and grace...)

He stares at her. She stares back. For a moment they just take in the present situation, both trying to figure out how they always end up in positions like this.

"You're not fully to blame."

"Are you saying the things I've done aren't my fault?" She smirks. "I gave my blood to a man who will never love me."

"He took it."

"I pushed away people that cared for me."

"They left you."

"I've thought about killing the Cross girl."

"You haven't." Her smirk turns to a sneer as her words become more bitter, more deadly. She knows her target.

"I've been sleeping with you in hopes of getting caught. Putting both of our families at risk just for the thrill of the crime."

Somewhere, in a deep, deep part of her mind she doesn't want to believe that sex with him had been sinful. Something inside her wants to believe that if she were threatened she would declare it as love. She knows she never would.

His face is hidden, staring down at things he doesn't see. She's hurt him. (Not quite enough, not yet...) He speaks quietly, the answer she always knew he would give.

"I gave in."

She has an evil, twisted representation of a grin on her face. (She knows how it will end, the last move.) She grasps his face in one hand, blood-red nails scraping his jaw, lifting his eyes to hers. And it's so cold, he thinks, as she presses her cheek to his and breathes in his ear, still grinning that twisted grin. How cold, how cold...

"You weren't the only one."

(She knows she's hit her mark.)

His breath catches and suddenly the air is growing hot. He wrenches her hand off of him so quickly that she is thrown onto her back, still grinning like a mad woman, tears running quickly down the sides of her face.

His skin is fire to the touch and for some reason she can't get enough of the heat. Still reaching for him as he stands but lacking the ability to get up.

He glares at her. (And someone's finally created cold fire she notices.)

"You're a bitch."

And by the time he leaves it doesn't matter if she lied or not because she's finally been abandoned by everyone and she is alone in her world. (You're safe, you're safe, my demons can't come for you...)

And she cries and smiles and sobs and laughs until the sound drives her crazy and she can't tell the difference between them anymore. She stays that way until she just can't take it anymore, until she falls asleep; until he comes back for her again.

And he's still hurt, she's still a bitch, and he still loves her. So he pulls her covers over her and kisses her hair and turns out the light before shutting the door.

(She could never go to Hell.)

When it's shut he shudders and falls to the floor against the wall. He cries.

(He would bargain with the devil to take his soul instead.)

You won't go to Heaven because you'll make all the other angels look ugly.

Ummm, can you say psychotic? Honestly, I didn't even plan on that happening. This story was actually supposed to be somewhat fluffy. I really should stop feeding my plot bunnies leftovers. 0_o

You know the review button loves you, so how about you love it back, hmm?

Until next time.

-Lilly