None of the character are mine even though I wish!!
Umm..... Jasper and Rosalie are the oldest and the rest are still in high school.
"Just get away from me Bella," my mother screamed filling her glass up with Vodka. All I wanted to do was get a book from the living room but she blocked my way, I should have stayed in my room all she ever wanted to do was fight.
"But I just want to--," she cut me off.
"I don't care Isabella go back to your room," she said taking another sip staggering back into the living room with the bottle of vodka in one hand and the cup in the other. My book was sitting on the coffee table in front of her but I knew she would attack if I tried to get it.
"When is dad getting home?" she never drank when he was here but his business trips were getting longer and longer leaving me alone with her. It was better when she abandoned us, she left 2 weeks before my 12th birthday and was gone for 4 years and one day she just turns and my dad welcomed her back with open arms.
"A girl needs her mother," was the only reason he gave for taking her back but I didn't need her I liked it when it was just the two of us.
"Your father hates it in this house and you as much as I do," she screamed at me.
"No, he hates you being here," I screamed at her.
"Well I'm not going anywhere," she hissed.
"I wish you would, why did you have to come back why did you have to ruin everything!" I screamed.
"Did I ruin everything Bella, ruin your time with your daddy," she said calmly finishing off her drink and picking up the bottle.
"It was better when you were gone," I whispered to myself as I started up the stairs.
"You father loves it that I am here you should hear him moan when I dig my nails in his back," she laughed.
"I hate you," I screamed running up the stairs.
"Right back at you kiddo," I heard her scream as I slammed my door shut.
I choked back tears as I scanned my room for my laptop I needed to talk to them, only people in the world that understood me. I only knew their first names I had no idea where they lived or what they looked like but they were the only five people in the world that I cared about.
We had met in a suicide chat room; I don't think I ever really wanted to kill myself but I found the site and when I logged on they were all there. We moved from the depressing setting and emailed each other every day and talked each every night. I finally found my computer buried under a pile of my clothing, when dad was gone I spent all the time I could in my room I didn't want to risk a fight just to do a load of washing.
I couldn't wait to turn the computer on every night but today when I turned it on there was no one on, you always get worried when someone doesn't log on or email you can't help but think that they ended it.
There was a noise from the computer and I knew someone had logged on and I could feel the biggest smile come across my face.
"Alice, Alice, Alice," My brother screamed running towards me.
"Hey," at ten years old my step brother was almost taller than me. "Did you have a good practice?"
"Yeah we had a practice game and we kicked their ass," he said jumping up and down in his seat.
"Language Matt if mum heard you talking like that she would seriously wash your mouth out with soap," I let the word butt slip in front of my mother when I was 8 and I was hiccupping bubbles for the next week.
"Can we go to McDonalds?" Matt had pulled out his DS and was playing a game.
"Momma said she was cooking us dinner," my little brother was one of my favourite people in the world he usually ignored me and hated it when I hugged him but he loved me when it suited him.
"But I want a burger," he said pouting.
"Maybe momma will make us burgers," unless they were wholegrain wheat free dairy free tofu burgers.
"I want some meat Ally please," he said giving me the puppy dog eyes as well.
"Momma will make us meat," I knew that she would be super pissed that I ever let Matt have meat she is still under the impression that he was ten years old and has never tasted meat. But I couldn't deprive my only brother the taste of meat.
"Tofu bacon and fish isn't enough Alice I need dead animal," he said stamping his foot.
"Fine we will get you some dead animal but you have to eat what mum makes as well," I warned.
"You are my favourite sister," he said hugging me which nearly cause a minor accident.
"I'm your only sister," he was like a drug addict but with cheese burgers.
"But your still the best," he said flashing me a smile he was going to be such a ladies' man when he grows up.
"Oh that's my phone, would you check to see if it is mum," I heard it vibration in my bag.
"You got an email," he announced as I pulled into the drive thru.
"Who's it from?" I asked as I order his burger. I hope it was from Emmett he had a date last night and I didn't get to talk to him at all.
"Rosalie," he said giving me a weird look. "Who is she?"
"A friend," I said snatching the phone off him giving him his burger.
"Are you a lesbian?" he questioned with a mouth full of burger.
"Just asking," he said smiling.
Hey Alice, wanna spend some time with baby chat tonight I will try though, I might be on late to keep you company. Oh if Emmett gives details of his date I want a detailed email please. Luv ya
"Come on finish that and eat a mint if she even smells that on your breath I will be the one who gets in trouble," I threw him a packet of mints.
"Come on inside mum will think we are sniffing paint or something out here," I literally pushed him out the door.
You know I don't like to sleep I will wait up for you, hope baby enjoys her time with mummy. Mwah xoxoxox I quickly emailed Rosalie and then followed Matt inside.
"Hey kids," mum yelled from the kitchen as I got inside.
"Hey mum what for dinner it smells great," I said lying seriously it smelt like wet cardboard.
"Veggie burgers," I wanted to gloat I said we were having burger and we are having burger I should wish for something else. Something important and then my step dad came into the room and I wanted to die.
"How is everyone?" he said coming up behind me I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck. He waited until my mother's back was turned and he ran his fingers down my spine and then squeezed my ass. Every time he touched me I felt so dirty, I let out a small whimper when his hands slipped down my pants.
"Are you okay Ally?" my mother whipped around and he pulled his hand out.
"I really don't feel that good do you think I could eat dinner in my room," I wanted to curl up in ball I wanted to hide in my bed; my bed was a safe place once. But now the only safe place in the world was in front of my computer with the only people that really knew me.
"Are you sick baby," my mother rested her hand on my forehead.
"No I just have a heap of homework and want to get an early night," I said making an excuse I just hated sitting across the table from my step father and having to act all happy.
"Sure hun that fine," she said handing me a plate full of food.
"Thanks mum," I grabbed the plate and ran to my room throwing the fake burger on my desk and turning on my computer.
Hey Alice, as soon as I turned the computer on an instant message arrived.
Hi Bella, as soon as her name flashed on the screen I burster into tears.
"How was your day?" my mother asked from the other end of the long table.
"Good," I said pushing my dinner around my plate.
"There was an emergency at the hospital your father had to help out," she said after a long silence.
"I wonder if it is the same emergency as he had yesterday," we both knew that there was emergency my father was having an affair and my mother chose to ignore it and apparently I am the messed up one.
"What is that suppose to mean Edward," she threw down her fork.
"Nothing mother I just hope no one is really hurt," I smiled going back.
"That is very kind of you Edward," she really had no idea of the fact that I wanted to reach across the table and drive the salad fork into her heart.
"Thank you," I went back to eating.
"Did you have your session today?" she questioned.
"You know I did mum," I hated all the stupid questions. I traced the scars on my wrist I planned for months and my stupid parents had to come home early, they were meant to be gone the whole weekend it was meant to be over.
"How did it go then, make any progress?"
"Yes mum I am cured I tried to kill myself because there is too much violence on the TV," she really didn't care if I made progress she just hoped that I would make some brilliant revelation that would help her understand why her life wasn't perfect.
"This is all a big joke to you isn't it," she snapped.
"Yes, this is giant joke that I tried to get away from but you had to ruin that didn't you, "I stormed out of the room.
"Yes when I see that my only child tries to kill himself I stopped and though whether or not I would ruin your day before I called an ambulance," she said following me. No matter how angry my mother got she never yelled she was always calm never a hair out of place.
"I made the decision you could have respected that," she was going to cry I hated making her cry but every night it is the same fight the same thing over and over again.
"Was I a bad mother? You were such a happy boy," I loved my life everything she did was to make me happy I didn't know why I felt this way.
"No mum, you know I love you," I said giving her a quick hug.
"Why don't you go and do your homework," she ordered.
"Good idea," I sprinted up the stairs. As soon as I got into my room I turned on the computer I was hoping that someone was on. I really loved my room that's why I wanted to die in here Emmett said that only girls slit their wrists that next time if I wanted it to stick I should get myself a gun.
Hey girls as soon as I came online
Edward!!! Hi, Alice said adding a little smiley face to the end of her greeting.
"So if x=90 and y= -29 what does t e-e-equal," she said pushing her glasses further up her nose.
"Does it matter what t equals," I lightly place my hand on her knee just to see how she would react.
"O-o-of course it m-m-mmatters what t equals it is the answer E-e-emmett," she said stuttering over my name and staring at my hand on her knee.
"Why do I need to know the answer," I smiled moving my hand a little further up her thigh tracing little circles on her pale white skin.
"B-b-because you father is paying me to tutor you so can pass math," I smiled as she let me moved my hand further up her thigh playing with the hem of her skirt.
"You can do what all my other tutors do," I moved her hair so I could see her neck she had a nice neck a kissable neck.
"W-what do your other tutors do?" she said stuttered moving closer to me. I was so in she was going to throw herself at me any moment now.
"Well they just do all the assignments for me," I said brushing my lips across her neck.
"What about your tests," she said moving closer to me my hand slipped between her legs.
"I am the star football player no one is going to fail me," I laughed as I kissed her neck.
"I-I-I have a boyfriend," she said weakly trying to push me away.
"Does that matter," I pushed a little hander moving my hand under her shirt running my fingers across her stomach.
"No, no I can't," she said pushing me off her getting up off the couch.
"Are you rejecting me? Do you know who I am?" I jumped up getting really angry throwing one of my books past her head.
"You must be very lonely," she said looking at me with pity in her eyes.
"I am the star of the best football team in the state," I screamed at her.
"And that makes you b-b-better than everyone else," she stuttered.
"Yes it does," I was better than her in every way.
"Your pathetic," she spat without stuttering.
"What the hell! you can't talk to me like that your no one you sit alone with all your loser friends and no one knows who you are," even if there was a rumour that she slept with me she would have been on the map.
"At least I have friends."
"I have friends," I was the most popular guy in school.
"You're so alone you can't even see it I feel sorry for you," how can she feel sorry for me?
"Your life is going to be over I'm going to tell everyone," I spat at her.
"No you won't," she said sounded so sure.
"Because of what you said before I am no one you sinking so low you would even thing of sleeping with me will show everyone how truly pathetic you are," she starting to pack up her books.
"Get out of my house," I screamed at her I was so angry at her because she was right. I could be sitting in the middle of a full room and I never felt more alone. There was five people in the world who I knew were truly my friends and I didn't know who any of them where.
"Goodbye Emmett," she said collecting the rest of her books and running out the door.
When I was sure she was gone I screamed and I felt a little better but not quiet I knew exactly what would make me feel better. I rushed up to my room and turned on my computer more out of habit rather than necessity. Instead I moved over to my bed side table and pulled out my gun, I never fired it but it calmed me the feel of the cold metal in my hand. The taste of the barrel in my mouth the cold metal against my teeth, I could pull the trigger end it all. But my computer beeped pulling me out of my own little world, sighing I put the gun back the draw and slammed it shut.
Hey Emmett how was your date?
Emmett =) Within a second I forgotten all about the gun and ending it.
"What?!" Something woke me I wiping the stream of drool from my chin and realised that I had ruined chapter 12 of my advanced psyc book with a pool of my own spit.
"Grandma!" from the nonexistent light in the room it was after 8.
"Grandma, where are you?" I began to search through all the rooms on the bottom floor. My grandmother hated the stairs so she can always be found on the bottom level of the three story house with 15 rooms that we both shared. It was built before the civil war and had been in my family ever since some people called once a month wanting to turn the house into an Inn or some historic something or rather but selling it would kill gran. It is not like we needed the money or anything.
"Gran did you want something to eat," and then I saw the front door was open.
"Shit! No no," I sprinted out the door in nothing but my pj's.
"Gran," I ran down the drive way yelling her name. This always happens I let my guard down for a second and she is gone last time she got on a busy and was half way to Huston before I found her, the time before that she made it to the local super market and began to undress in the frozen food isle. When I reached the end of the drive way I spotted her rummaging through the trash can.
"God what are you doing?" I reached her kicking the trash can away from her, she was chewing a piece of pizza that I threw in the trash yesterday.
"You could have just woken me up," I screamed at her snatching the pizza out of her hand.
"You don't talk to your mother that way Mitchell," he was my father she always got us confused.
"No Gran Mitchell went away remember," I use to tell her that my dad was dead but it was like she was hearing the news that her only son was dead for the first time so if she asks he just went away.
"Who are you then," she said moving away from me like I was a stranger.
" No," she said shaking her head "Jasper is only a baby."
"I grew up."
"So you did," she said looking my up and down.
"Come inside Gran I will make you some dinner."
"I want pizza," she announced.
"I will order us a pizza," I said taking her arm and starting back inside.
"You're a good boy Mitchell," she muttered.
"Thanks Gran." We made our way up the drive way in silence.
"What would you like on your pizza," I asked when we got inside.
"No I've already eaten I am just going to watch my stories," she said making her way to the living room. Five days out of the weeks she doesn't even remember her own name but she can remember the names of every character on the bold and the beautiful and every ridiculous story line they are involved in.
"Gran did the nurse help you have a shower today?" I stuck my head into the room.
"She touches me I don't like it."
"She helps you Gran," a nurse came over during the day when I had classes or work and took care of her; sort of a babysitter with better qualifications.
"She touches me, I don't like it."
"Okay Gran, are you sure you don't want any dinner?" I asked again.
"You said we were getting pizza," she said.
"I will order it," All I really wanted to do was get on my computer it was a little after nine everyone would already be on already and would start going to bed I hate not getting to talk to them.
We all met on the internet it wasn't a sleazy thing none of us were 40 year old men trying to get laid by a teenage girl. We all had own problems but we all had the time to help each other out, it was my idea to keep it anonymous first names only, brand new email addresses that only we knew, we weren't to know where anyone lived or where they went to school the only thing we needed was to find out that the weird kid that sat in the back of my English lecture was Emmett or the girl that I hooked up with at Peter's birthday was Bella. It was better this way.
"Gran the pizza will be here in half an hour," I walked into the living room only to find her asleep.
"Great," I opened my laptop and let it start up as I got her into bed. She fought me slapped me accused me of trying to steal a necklace that she lost years ago, but as soon as her head hit the pillow she fell back to sleep.
Jasper!!!! While I was gone Bella had sent a million messages.
Answer her man, Emmett chimed in.
I'm here Bella, I quickly typed.
Hi Jasper =), she quickly typed.
You two should get a room, Alice said.
A room I have several rooms which one do you want Bella? I wrote as there was a knock at the door.
Oh do you have a room with a window I love windows, she wrote back.
Plenty of rooms, plenty of windows, I quickly paid for the pizza and rushed back to the computer.
So where is Rosalie? I questioned.
"$27.50," the girl behind the counter said with a smile.
"$27, are you sure?" I looked into my Wallet everything was due at once, the rent $119, I desperately needed to pay the electric bill or they were going to shut it off, my car needed petrol and we had a desperate need to eat.
"Yeah $27.50," she said again I now wanted to slap the smile right off her face.
"Okay, okay take this and these off please," I said handing back a packet of crayons and shampoo I didn't need to wash my hair this week.
"Mummy," the little girl at my said whined. "I need new crayons."
"Next week Erica, how much is it now?"
"$18.60," the girl said with another smile.
"Promise," the girl said pouting.
"I promise honey," I said handing over a twenty dollar note at least I was on budget for the week.
"Wanna hold a bag for mummy?" I questioned holding out a bag that had nothing breakable in it.
"Okay," she said taking the bag off me and walking off.
"Change," the girl behind the counter held her hand out.
"Thanks," I grabbed it and shoved it in my purse before grabbing the two remaining bag and running after my daughter.
"Erica, Erica you wait for me," I said running after her I finally caught up to her at the road.
"Maybe you should pay more attention," an old woman snapped when we were waiting for the light to go green.
"Erica cover your ears," she sighed putting down the bag and covered her ears.
"Maybe you should mind your own fucking business," I snapped as the light turned green.
"Come on baby," I said taking her hand and leading her across the street to where I parked the car.
"Please don't be mad at me," I had piled the bags into the back and was helping her do up her seat belt.
"I need new colours," she snapped.
"Well that's just too bad isn't it," I slammed the car door shut and then climbed into the front.
"Your mean," she yelled.
"No I am your mother and I'm doing the best God damn job I can," I screamed bringing the car to life.
"You're a mean mummy," she screamed.
"No, no ,no," I hit the wheel with my fist. "Do you wanna know who is mean your damn father convincing me that everything would be alright and then the moment you were born leaving us."
All I could hear was a whimper from the back seat.
"God I'm sorry Eric I promise you the first thing I buy will be a million crayons all the colour of the rainbow. But you have to understand that mummy doesn't get paid much and I need to pay for a lot of things so we can have a place to live and food," I pleaded.
"All the colours of the rainbow?" she questioned.
"Only if you stop being mad at me."
"I'm not mad," she said smiling.
"Maybe I will get you some paint to," she was my little artist.
"Paint too," she squealed.
"Only if you promise not to be mad at me," I bargained.
"I'm not mad," she said with a giant smile on her face.
"Good, what did you want for dinner?" I questioned pulling into our apartment building.
"Mac and cheese, with corn" she said getting excited.
"What about some peas as well."
"No peas are green that's gross," she was going through a phase where she won't eat anything that was green.
"Carrot then?" I said parking the car and getting out.
"Carrot is orange," she announced getting out of the car herself.
"Yeah baby Carrot is orange," I said handing her a bag.
"Carrot is good then," she said as we got into the lift that took us to the fifth floor of the apartment building we lived in. We had a small 2 bedroom apartment that I loved it was a little out of my price range it was home and I couldn't give it up. I worked part time as a receptionist at a local Doctor office as well as going to school 2 days a week while Erica spent the day with my mother.
"Can I watch TV mummy," she asked when we got inside.
"Go ahead baby dinner will be ready in a little bit."
Within 20 minutes we were sitting on the couch with our dinner watching the little mermaid for the millionth time.
"Where you going mummy?" she asked as I got up.
"I'm just going to get my computer go back to your movie," I said running into my room and got my laptop.
You are so wrong I was added to the conversation as soon as my computer turned on. It looked like Edward and Emmett were having another argument.
Hey guys I typed.
Give us a second Emmett wrote.
Don't listen to them Rose Bella wrote how are you sweetie?
6:35 Bella signed in.
6:37 Alice signed in.
Bella: Hey Alice.
Alice: Hi Bella
Bella: How are you?
Alice: I don't think I can take this much longer
Bella: You need to tell your Mum Alice!
Alice: I can't do that Bella, she loves him to much it would destroy her
Bella: So you have to be miserable scared to go to sleep at night
Alice: We're not going to talk about this now I'm not in the mood
Alice: Fine, how was your day? Daddy back yet?
Bella: Nah not til next week, counting the days till I can actually leave my room
Alice: Your so lucky
Bella: Oh Alice
Alice: Don't you dare feel sorry for me Bella
Bella: Can't really help it Alice
7:02 Edward signed in
Edward: Hey girls!!!!
Alice: Edward! Hey =D
Bella: We're not changing the subject Alice!
Edward: What were we talking about?
Alice: Bella is feeling sorry for me again
Bella: No one should have to go through what you are!
Alice: How are you Eddie?
Edward: I'm good, I got cured today
Edward: Yeah it was all the violent TV I watched when I was a kid
Alice: Your mother must have loved that
Edward: Because I live to please her =P
Bella: I can't help but see we have changed the subject
Alice: wow you saw that did you
Edward: I have been thinking about your little problem
Bella: I really don't think it is a little problem
Alice: it is not a problem I have got it covered
Edward: hear me out
Edward: We'll kill him
7:15 Emmett signed in
Bella: Hey Emmett how was your date
Edward: hey Em
Alice: Emmett =)
Emmett: Hey guys!! What are we talking about?
Alice: Edward is plotting to murder my step dad
Emmett: I was thinking that to, how were you going to do it?
Alice: we are not seriously having this convo are we?
Bella: shh let them plan
Edward: I was thinking a nice shot to the back of the head and then dumping him in a River
Emmett: See with that you run the risk of his body washing up someplace, I was thinking chopping him into tiny little pieces scattering him up and down a highway
Bella: No I think Emmett has the right idea if we all do it they can't pin it to just one of us
Alice: You three need to stop it
Bella: No if you won't tell you mother
Edward: We're all going to find a way to stop it from happening
Alice: Jasper is never going to let you, what about his whole not getting to attached thing
Emmett: Oh please Jasper is so in love with Bella he won't care
Bella: =O he is not! Edward tell them
Edward: Sorry Bella
Alice: Let's talk about this a little more
Bella: How about we talk about how Emmett is in love with Rosalie.
Emmett: Do not
Bella: Do too
Emmett: Do not
Bella: Do too
Emmett: What's wrong?
Alice: No one loves me
Edward: I love you babe
Alice: I love you too Edward
Bella: Aww so cute
Alice: How was your date Em?
Emmett: Let's not talk about that
Bella: That bad
Emmett: It wasn't a date as such
Edward: Did you get lucky?
Emmett: I tried!
Alice: Couldn't get it up?
Emmett: Hey!! I have no problem doing that!!
Bella: Sure sure
Emmett: I do not! You want to come over here and I will show you!!
Edward: She is joking
Emmett: Well she called me a loser with no friends
Alice: Aww baby we are your friends
Emmett: We don't even know each other
Edward: It's all Jaspers fault
Bella: Don't hate Jasper
9:45 Jasper signed in
Bella: Jasper !!
Emmett: Answer her man
Jasper: I'm here Bella
Bella: Hi Jasper
Alice: You two should get a room
Jasper: A room? I have several rooms which one do you want Bella?
Bella: Oh do you have a room with a window I love windows
Jasper: Plenty of rooms, plenty of windows. So where is Rosalie?
Alice: She wanted to spend some time with Erica she will be on later
Jasper: how was your date Emmett?
Emmett: We have already talked about that
Jasper: Oh I'm sorry what else have we already talked about
Bella: We decided how we're going to kill step daddy
Jasper: I was thinking hacking him into a million little pieces
Emmett: That's what I said
Alice: You guys need to get over this
Bella: The man come into your room at night Ally
Jasper: We love you and we want to protect you
Alice: What about never meeting each other and all that crap
Jasper: I can forget about that
Alice: What about Bella's mother why aren't we plotting to kill her?
Bella: Don't Alice
Jasper: What happened?
Bella: nothing Jaz it all good
Alice: she hits her
Bella: Once! I told you not to tell them
Edward: Maybe we could kill two birds with one stone
Bella: stop it, it was just once
Emmett: Getting rid of two bodies will be harder
Jasper: Are you okay Bella?
Bella: It was once! Alice wasn't meant to tell anyone else
Alice: Well if we were talking about my problems everyone here has them
Emmett: I think Edward has the most problems
Edward: You are so wrong
10:05 Rosalie signed in
Rosalie: Hey Guys!
Emmett: Give us a second
Bella: Don't listen to them, how are you?
Emmett: You're the only one who has actually done it
Rosalie: I'm good, actually done what?
Jasper: they are trying to figure out which one of us is the most messed up
Rosalie: What you have the worst situation
Bella: Oh we are planning on killing her step father.
Rosalie: about time
Please tell me what you think..... good/ bad should I continue. PLEASE REVIEW .
Please tell me what you think..... good/ bad should I continue. PLEASE REVIEW .