"Gran you need to get up," I lightly knocked on her door.

"Jasper I am sleeping in why don't you go and play with your toys," well at least she got my name right.

"Okay but I have to leave now Gran I have to get to class the nurse is going to be here all day, please be nice to her. No hitting, no kicking, and no calling the police she is here to help you." I warned her she had gone through five nurses in the last month.

"Let Grandma sleep Jasper," she yelled thought the door.

"Fine," I got my stuff together when there was a knock at the door.

"Hello?" the most gorgeous blonde stood in front of me.

"Umm Mr Whitlock?" she read off a little piece of white paper.

"Yeah, she is up stairs in bed she will come down when she wants to, her medication is in the fridge it is all labelled, she needs to have a shower and she has a cut on her arm that needs the bandages changed," I said pushing past her.

"No no no don't leave," she said following me.

"Your not the nurse?"

"I'm a student nurse, I mean I am three weeks away from graduating ," she said following me down the drive.

"You're not a fucking nurse god my day is too busy to be dealing with this shit," I slammed my car door shut.

"Hey attitude mister," she snapped.

"I did my placement with this agency I know exactly what to do, there will be a fully trained nurse checking in every hour and there will be one to take over at three," she snapped.

"Here is my number if anything happens you call me first," I scribbled my number down on a piece of paper and handed it to her.

"Just remember I will be a nurse in three weeks," she said smiling.

"Yeah somehow that doesn't make me feel any better," I threw my bags into the back seat of the car.

"I'm really good at what I do," she said leaning against the car.

"Oh you better because she has broken perkier people than you," I warned smiling she was never going to last.

"Oh if you can do it I think I will be just fine," she laughed going back into the house.


"So can anyone tell me how they would deal with the scenario on page 67" several hand shot up but I was too busy trying to keep my eyes open to even turn page 67. Instead I opened my laptop I needed something to keep me awake.

10.57 Jasper signed on.

Bella: On thank God!

Jasper: shouldn't you be in class?

Bella: computer lab shhh I'm meant to be researching

Jasper: What are you meant to be researching?

Bella: a project I finished weeks ago

Jasper: You're just that good are you?

Bella: You should already know that I am, anyway shouldn't you be in class?

Jasper: I am stealing the WiFi Uni

Bella: Bad boy

Jasper: What they don't know won't hurt them.

Bella: I wish that worked, I mean look at Alice and her mother

Jasper: I know that my rules aren't fair Bella but it is better. I mean what would we do if we knew who she was

Bella: We'd stop it Jaz .... but we are not going to talk about it!

Jasper: Okay well my Gran got a new nurse today

Bella: What happened to the old one?

Jasper: I really don't know but they sent some student nurse

Bella: you left her with a student nurse?

Jasper: she is going to be a nurse in three weeks

Bella: Comforting!

Jasper: yeah I know but I had no other choice

Bella: Hey Rose is going to be a nurse maybe it was her

Jasper: Nah she had a little too much attitude to be Rose

Bella: Oh my little friend you know nothing our Rosie has a truckload of attitude.

Jasper: I will ask her when I get home

Bella: cool

Jasper: It would be

Bella: Oh I gotta go teacher is coming... love you

Bella signed off 11:15

Jasper: Bye I love you too I wrote but she was already gone.

"Mr Whitlock would you like to answer this question," the sound of my name snapped me out of my own little world.

"Sorry?" when I looked up the eyes of the whole lecture hall were on me.

"What question?" I said flipping through my book trying to find the page that everyone else was on.

"Were you even paying attention Mr Whitlock?" the lecture asked.

"Ah no sir I wasn't," telling the truth was sometimes a good thing.

"Hmm glad to see someone that is still honest, but how about we pay a little more attention Mr Whitlock."

"Will do sir," I said slamming shut my laptop and opening my text book.

"Okay Page 69 for everyone who us as lost as Mr Whitlock."



"Who you talking to?" Angela my best friend rested her chin on my shoulder.

"No one," I said quickly saying good bye to Jasper shutting the window.

"Hot internet dude?" she said sitting next to me.

"I don't know if he's hot?" I said smiling.

"What if he is ugly internet dude?" she said screwing up her face. Angela and I had met the first day of school but never really hung out till the forth grade and it was then we became inseparable she meant everything to me. The reason I tried to make something of this shit heap I call a life was because I didn't want to leave her all alone.

"I don't think that will matter," Jasper was Jasper and it didn't matter what he looked like.

"What if he is gross?"

"Look at me Ang I'm not really a super model," I would really be surprised if Jasper didn't run in the other direction when he saw me.

"Your beautiful babe," she said putting her arm around me.

"Blah blah," I said poking out my tongue.

"Where did you meet him anyway?" I had never told her about everyone it was one of Jasper's rules but she had seen me talking to them and I had to come up with something.

"No where," she didn't know that I wanted to end it either.

"Fine if you don't want to tell me that fine but if you are going to meet him I'm coming with you," she warned.

"Well that's not going to happen we have rules," Damn I shouldn't have said that.

"Oh," she said screwing up her face.

"It is nothing like that, he is just a friend," I reassured her.

"Yeah that's what you say but 2 weeks from now you go and meet him then they find you dead in a field somewhere.

"That's not going to happen but I need to ask you something," I had been trying to find a way of asking her to do something for me but I never thought the time was right.

"What's wrong?" she said getting panicky.

"Clam done nothing is wrong it's just if something ever does happen," this is why I hadn't told her she is an over reactor.

"What is it?"

"Okay if anything happens to me?" I tried again.

"What is going to happen to you Bella?" she questioned throwing her arms around me.

"Nothing, say there was an accident or my mother does actually carry out her threat of killing me," I tried to come up with something that didn't involve me killing myself because she would freak.

"So you wrote a will Bella your 17 please I'm not listening to this," she said beginning to get up.

"No, no," I said grabbing her hand and pulling her down.

"I will show you," I said opening up a window.

"If you tell me you have some secret website you want me to look after because you know I can hardly read my e-mail," she warned.

"I want you to send a email for me, I have already written it all you need to do is send it," I said logging into my email.

"They all have who they need to be sent to all you need to do is press send," she was just staring at the computer screen,

"This isn't the email address I have," she said.

"No its not, I made it especially to do this. Now the pass word is your name and you only send these if I am dead okay?"

"Are you really this scared of your mother?" she asked.

" Tell me you will do this you won't go on until I'm gone," I asked.

"I don't want to talk about you dying Bella," she said turning around.

"Your my best friend in the world you need to do this for me Angela," I rested my head on her should and pouted.

"Fine but I won't like it," she said crossing her arms.

"Thank you," I said kissing her cheek.

"Do I get an email?" she asked after a while.

"You will find out when I die," I joked.

"That's not funny Bella," she snapped.

"Of course you get a letter babe you're the most important person in the world to me," I pouted.

"Can I read my letter now?"

"No," I said packing up my books.





"Well at least tell me Creepy internet dudes name," she said following me out of the classroom.

"Emmett," I didn't want to tell her it was Jasper.

"I have a Cousin named Emmett and he is hot maybe it is the same person that would be so cool."

"Yeah it would," at least I would know who he was.

Bella's letter

My beautiful people,

I know this may sound corny but if you're reading this I'm dead.... no I'm not a ghost or anything like that I just wrote this before whatever it was happened. I always hated the thought of something happening to one of us and because of Jasper stupid rules we would never know. No offence Jasper. There is nothing that you could have done to stop this from happening so don't stress unless one of you killed me and then shame on you. But let's face it we all know how it happened I just couldn't take it anymore.

Rosalie you are the strongest and amazing mother I have ever known do not let anyone especially you mother tell you anything different. Never doubt yourself because you know what is best for her and I know that we sometime don't get alone but I would have loved if you were my mother.

Emmett you are a wonderful person you need to stop caring what other people think. Just be yourself and people will love you I promise.

Edward you are the most amazing and honest person I have ever known and I am honoured to have been in your life if it was only for a moment. Please don't try and kill yourself again because the world needs you and you're going to be amazing.

Alice what can I say you're one of my favourite people in the world. You have the biggest heart and have helped me so much with everything; I think that I will you're the best thing that has come out of our little group that fact that your still alive and have made the lives of five other people better. I need you to do something for me call it the last wish of a dead girl you need to tell someone what is happening. Babies tell your mother what is happening is wrong and it shouldn't be happening to someone as amazing as you.

Jasper I love you. I know we say it all the time but I truly love you, it hurts when I cannot talk to you. I dream about you every night and the one thing I regret in my life is that I never got to meet you. You're rules were stupid Jasper and we should have been able to meet each other.

I'm sorry I just couldn't take it anymore it wasn't your fault there is nothing that you could have done but the world doesn't need me.

I love you all so much and you were always in my thought up until the very end.

I will love you all forever

Isabella Swan.


Time slowed down, everyday it got slower and slower every second felt like a minute, every minute felt like an hour. School felt like it went for years I knew everything they were trying to teach which made it even worse. I could have graduated early I got accepted early into every Collage I applied to but my mother and father thought it would be better for me if I finished high school with all my friends. What they didn't know was that it was this place that made me slit me wrists the most.

I wished I could have just stood up to my parent when they taken control of my life when they started to fuck with it.

I just stood in front of my locker staring at the lock.

"You going to do anything Cullen or are you just going to stand there all day," someone came up behind me and pushed me into the locker.

"I was planning on standing on your way all day," I didn't even feel it when I was pushed against the cold metal of the locker. My whole body was numb; the only thing I could feel was the burning from the scars on my wrists.

"You're a fucking smartass Cullen," he said punching me in the stomach.

"At least I can spell my own name," I smiled just a little.

"Do you have a death wish Cullen?" he spat at me.

"Why are you going to kill me?" I said pushing him back.

"I'm going to kick your fucking ass," he said swinging at me but the oaf was so big and predictable I was able to easily get out of the way causing his fist to hit my locker.

"You wanna kill me go ahead, come on kill me, Kill me!!" I screamed at him.

"God Edward, what the hell is wrong with you?"He said looking at me with fear in his eyes like a little puppy that has been hit with a rolled up newspaper for the first time

"If you're not going to kill me fuck off," I said turning back to my locker.

"You need help man."

"No I just need to be left alone," I muttered to myself. Everything would have been okay if they just left me alone.

I hope you like this chapter, sorry it has taken so long for me to write but I am in the middle of like three stories all gotta wait their turn.

Please review tell me what you think.