[ Crazy for Larry ]
*Falling up – after getting the 'tv remote'*
When she returned from Renee's room, Ally crawled up in her bed, her eyes wide open. She felt that her bed was a little too big for her now. If only Larry was there….
"God! I feel so miserable without him," she thought with a sigh.
She tried to close her eyes, to get some sleep but a knock on the door surprised her. A knock on the door? What door? The sound wasn't coming from the front door. It was a metallic sound. She stood up and looked nervously around the room.
"What the… what the hell," she said out loud.
The knock was persistent and was coming from the freezer. With a trembling hand she opened the freezer's door.
She looked inside and almost fainted.
The snowman had disappeared. Instead, there was a Larry… soaking wet. He was wearing the snowman's outfit and the blue blinking nose. He talked to her:
"Hey Ally! I'm melting… Now, there are two possibilities. You join me in or you shut the door."
She shut the door and screamed.
* * *
"Larry. It's me. Are you there? If you are, please pick up the phone. I really need to talk to you…"
She waited on the line a few seconds and sighed. It was about 8 am in Detroit. Larry was supposed to be there.
"Larry, I really miss you. I just can't stand being away from you. Please, if you don't plan to come home soon… or ever, please tell me."
She waited again, like the answering machine could talk back.
* * *
Since there wasn't any decent therapist and she was feeling on the edge of cracking up, she went to John's office as soon as she arrived at Cage & Fish. John looked absorbed by his thoughts. He almost stepped when Ally entered. She closed the door behind her.
"John… I really, really need to talk to you right now!"
"Okay," he said calmly, inviting her to sit down. "Now, tell me what's wrong."
"Well, I think I'm going crazy… a… again. I've been having visions," she began with a nervous giggle. "I-I mean… I'm hallucinating Larry."
John nodded with a serious look. He was the only one who understood her. He remained silent, waiting for Ally to continue.
"I see Larry everywhere. In the… in the freezer and then, this morning… I-I was in the shower. I swear, I wasn't thinking about him at all. Well, maybe a little… but then he was there in the shower with me. He looked so real. He was naked…"
"Po… pokip…" John mumbled waving his hand to tell Ally to skip all the details.
Ally laughed nervously.
"He looked so real. I… I tried to kiss him," she said with her eyes rolling. "Well, you know… but I ended up kissing the towel."
She grimaced by the thought of it.
John nodded again and added: "But Larry wasn't there…"
"No…" she said, trying to fight back the tears.
"Well… Ally, it's okay to miss him. These past weeks you've been acting strong but I can see that you're hurt. If you keep fighting against your feelings the visions will come back. Remember the dancing baby…"
"You're saying I should let them be," she said.
She put her head on John's desk and started to cry.
"I feel foolish to miss him. I mean it's not like we're really, really apart. I mean, we are still together but… apart."
John put a comforting hand on Ally's head.
* * *
She agreed that letting herself feel nostalgic wouldn't hurt too much. She sat at the piano, started to play the intro of the song Larry wrote to her. She started to sing:
Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
But her voice broke. She left for the kitchen, grabbed Larry's favorite teacup. She looked down at it and sighed. She even took a look in the freezer. The snowman was still there with the same simple note:
I'll be back.
"You better be back soon, Larry Paul," she said.
* * *
Two days later she found herself wandering in front of what used to be Larry's office. Since he was gone, she had been looking in the news papers every day, looking for the renting announcement. This morning it wasn't there anymore so she assumed that the office had been rented. She was curious to see if there was any chance that the new tenant was a therapist.
When she arrived next to the door, she stopped and listened. She could hear that someone was inside, unpacking. She opened the door and walked in silently. There was a man behind the boxes, she could see his shoulder but she had a feeling. She approached nervously and gasped.
The man raised his head and their eyes met. His were sparkling. She knew that smile.
"Lar… Larry?" she managed to say.
"Ally! How did you know I was back?"
She stepped back and turned towards the wall, she started to bang her head against it.
"This isn't real," she said, trying to convince herself. "He isn't real."
She turned around. Larry's vision was still there. He lifted an eyebrow with an amused smile. She tried to catch her breath.
"Ally? Are you okay?"
She rubbed her eyes and thought: "Well, this isn't any better. So maybe there's really a man next to me and I hallucinate Larry. Just focus on the reality. Breathe, breathe!"
"Okay," she managed to say, "Please tell me who you are and the image will go away. Tell me your name before I run to kiss you and make a fool of myself…"
Larry laughed and slowly approached her. She closed her eyes, afraid of her imagination.
"I'm expecting you to kiss me but do I really have to tell you my name or you'll remember it by yourself?"
Then he touched her cheek tenderly and brushed her hair away like he used to do so many times. She opened her eyes. Larry was still there, just in front of her, his sweet brown eyes looking at her with pure adoration.
"Ally," he whispered.
"Larry… Are you… are you real?"
He laughed and kissed her hand.
"Well… I guess so."
She touched his face with her fingers. She could feel his skin, she could smell him. He was real.
"Larry!" she exclaimed.
She hugged him tightly, tears filling her eyes. Larry's hands slowly moved up and down her back. It felt so good to be in his arms again.
"Ally, I can't breathe…"
She kissed him, crying and laughing at the same time. He responded to her kisses with a groan.
"Oh, Larry. I didn't know you were coming back…"
"Oh! You didn't? Then how did you know I was here?" he asked, his eyes questioning her.
"I… I wanted to check if there was a new therapist who'd rent the place. So…"
"Did you check the door this time? If you want to talk. I'm still a good ear."
Both laughed and kissed back. He pulled her a little bit closer to him.
"I missed you," he said.
"Please don't ever leave me again," she murmured with tears in her voice.
Ally looked at him, concerned.
"When you say you won't… What do you mean? What about Sam?"
"Shhh…" he whispered, a finger on her lips. "I was hoping we could talk about it later."
"I made a dinner reservation. I was planning to surprise you at your office but…"
She interrupted him with a kiss and said, in a sexy voice: "Mr. Larry. Do you seriously think that I would be in the mood for dinner?"
"No, I was just trying to be a gentleman," he said, raising his shoulders.
He kissed her ear. She shivered.
"And you're in the mood for…?" he asked with a sexy smile.
He took off his glasses. Both looked at the couch, simultaneously.
"Well, Larry," Ally said, playing with his tie, "Six weeks apart. It was… tough."
"Shut up and kiss me, Larry."
He kissed her with a groan of pleasure and they rushed to the couch.
* * *
It was in the middle of the night when Ally woke up in Larry's arms. They had both fallen asleep on his office's couch after a passionate reunion. She was now wearing his shirt and he had only boxers on. She smiled, feeling his breath on her neck. She had somehow forgotten how good it felt to be in his arms. With precautions, she turned around, trying not the fall on the floor.
"Mhm… Hi," Larry mumbled, opening an eye.
"Hey… Sorry to wake you," she whispered, kissing his chin.
He smiled and opened the other eye. He pulled her a little bit closer to him and they stared into each other's eyes without saying anything. And then he kissed her gently.
"Larry, pinch me. I'm probably dreaming."
He pinched her bottom roughly with an amused smile.
"Aaaaahhhh!" she screamed, pushing his hand away. "Are you crazy?!"
"Ooopsie! This is not a dream, this is reality."
He kissed her again and she groaned.
"I just can't believe that you're back, Larry."
"I'm back. Did you seriously think that my snowman would lie to you?"
"Not a minute. He was there to remind me of your note. Just in my room."
"In your room?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well… in the freezer," she admitted with a hesitant voice. "I felt less lonely looking at him. Larry… this snowman is a part of you."
He laughed and let a hand slide down to her thigh. He bit her shoulder.
"Mhmm… the coldest part of you," she added with a sexy voice.
A few seconds later, Larry was on top of her, showing her that he was everything but cold.
* * *
"Larry, maybe we should go. We're working tomorrow."
Both looked at the clock. It was 3 am. He kissed her and stood up, searching for his pants.
"Do you want to sleep at my place tonight?" she proposed, buttoning her blouse. "You still got your apartment, right?"
"Actually, no," he said, sitting next to her and looking at her with a serious look. "I was hoping that I could move in."
"Oh!" she managed to say. "Are… are you serious?"
He nodded, waiting for an answer.
For the first time in months, she remembered Brian, the ring he offered to her when he asked her to move in with him. Then, she remembered the first time she met Larry. He was telling her not to move in with Brian, who had no intention to marry her.
"Are you thinking about it?"
"Larry! Oh! I… I… Wow!"
She caught her breath and looked at him. He was playing nervously with his glasses.
"You can say no. I can sleep here."
"No," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck, "My bed is much more comfortable than this couch. Anyway, I don't want to be without you tonight. A… about you moving in, I… I'll think about. Okay?"
Both finished getting dressed. Before closing the door, Larry pulled her to him and hugged her.
"I love you, Ally," he whispered.
She sighed and thought that this time it was different. Larry wasn't Brian. She loved Larry. He was incredible, funny, sexy…
But that moving in this was far away from her romantic visions.
* * *
"Renee… Should I agree about him moving in?"
"Ally," Renee said, offering her a coffee, "Do you want him to move in? I told you I don't mind about it. I like Larry."
Ally smiled. Larry had just left for work.
"I sort of want him to move in but it's just a little confusing. Remember when I first met him and thought he was a therapist?"
Renee rolled her eyes.
"You were already crazy about him."
Ally smiled again.
"Well, Larry understood perfectly Brian's intentions. If he had intentions… Maybe that's also his way of thinking."
"You're talking about marriage? Ally…"
Ally cleared her throat.
"What if he doesn't want to marry me? You know, he's been married, he knows the game. He's got a kid and probably a bunch of ex-girlfriends everywhere in the country all crying over him because he's the most wonderful man… Hmm, what if that moving in this is the only thing he could offer me. No proposing, no wedding cake or flowers, no white gown. No kids. What if…"
"Ally… Stop that 'What if' thing," Renee said calmly. "He's back from almost 2 months in Detroit. Give yourself time. You have to see the moving in thing as THE ultimate test to your relationship."
Ally gasped, almost spilling coffee on the table.
"Wh… what? We don't need any test, okay?" Ally replied harshly. "We really love each other!"
"Okay, okay. Calm down, Ally. I'm sure you'll both survive the everyday routine. Anyway… I'll be there, sneaking."
Ally hid a smile behind her hand.
"The everyday routine can't be that bad," she said with a whisper. "Doing the groceries with Larry, cleaning the house with Larry, cooking with Larry. Mhmm… taking showers every morning with Larry…"
Renee smiled widely and grabbed her coat.
"So that means you made your choice?"
"Are you seriously okay with it, Renee?" Ally asked with concern. "I'll be different. It won't be just you and me…"
"Don't worry about me. I don't know if I'll be around much… now that there's Jackson. Anyway, I prefer the idea of Larry moving in than you moving out," she said, kissing Ally on the cheek.
* * *
Ally was in the unisex, staring at her reflection in the mirror and daydreaming about Larry when Ling arrived. She stopped right in front of her, with ferocious eyes.
"You're thinking about sex, aren't you? Gross!"
Ling rushed into the nearest stall as soon as Richard entered.
"Oh! Larry's back? Great! Please try to focus on the case even though your horny appetite is satisfied. Bygones!"
"I was not… I am not…"
Ally gasped with indignation and searched for an object to throw at Richard. But then she saw the look on his face.
"Ling. Please come out. Tell me what's wrong, Ling."
* * *
Discretely, Ally got out of the unisex and bumped into Larry. She screamed.
"Is it my new haircut? You don't like it? Or don't tell me… you thought I was a hallucination again?"
"Hey, Larry!" she exclaimed, interrupting him with a kiss. "I'm sorry; I just didn't see you coming. By the way, I love your haircut and everything about you."
He followed Ally to her office and they closed the door behind them. He took off his coat and sat down in front of her. Ally couldn't help but stare at him with a smile. If she wasn't working on an important case, she would run to him, kiss him again and…
"So?" Larry said with a smile.
"So? So what?"
"Have you thought about it?"
"Oh! Yeah, I thought about it and…"
"Before you say anything. I really have to tell you something," Larry said, playing nervously with his time. "Maybe your decision will change after hearing what I have to tell you."
Her heart started to bump rapidly in her chest. She suddenly felt very nervous. She could almost smell the worst.
"Last night you were asking me about what happened in Detroit…"
Ally felt weak. Detroit… that name sounded like hell. Detroit… city of the evil-ex Jamie.
"What happened?" she thought with panic. "Something happened? Oh my God! Not again! If he's telling me that he kissed that bitch again. I will… I will… die."
"Larry… oh! I… I don't think I want to hear that…"
She stood up and started to walk nervously back and forth.
"Ally… Ally, wait!" Larry said, wrapping his arms around her waist so she couldn't move. "I can see than you're upset. That's all my fault. I didn't use the right words. I'm probably too excited about it. I have good news, actually!"
She raised her head to look at him. He was smiling.
"Larry! Say it! No more suspense. I don't know what to think now…"
"Well, I never thought that it could happen. She really surprised me."
"Who?" Ally interrupted nervously.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed.
"If you'd let me speak. Jamie agreed to move back to Boston. Do you believe it? It means, I'll be able to see Sam every day. You see… nothing to be afraid of!"
Ally sighed half relieved. Sam being closer to his dad was a wonderful thing but she wasn't sure about Jamie.
"I wanted to tell you about Sam before you'd give me an answer," Larry continued. "It involves that he'll probably spend some time during the weekends and…"
"I'm okay with you moving in, Larry," Ally said rapidly. "I'm okay with Sam coming to my place… to our place."
"You… you are? Ally, you're so sweet. I promise I'll behave. I'll be a good roommate."
"I expect you to be more than a roommate, Larry Paul," she whispered, giving him a sensuous kiss.
* * *
When Ally arrived at her apartment that night, she was surprised by Larry. He opened the front door immediately.
"I saw you coming," he said, kissing her.
"What's that smell?" she asked kissing him back.
"Well, I'm trying to cook some spaghetti sauce."
Ally got into the living room. A fire was burning in the fireplace, the radio was playing romantic music and the table was set. She took off her coat and followed Larry to the kitchen.
"Mhmm…" she murmured, hugging him. "I could get used to this. Where's Renee by the way?"
"She's out with Jackson and probably sleeping at his place. This means we can have a romantic evening."
"Interesting," Ally said with a sexy smile. "What's the program?"
"Okay, first the dinner. Nothing guaranteed but I did my best. After that some romantic songs I'll sing to you and finally a massage."
He kissed her again and ran a hand down her back.
"Oh… and a shower… together?" Ally proposed, pulling herself closer to him.
"And a shower," Larry agreed, kissing her with passion.
They did forget a little about the program. The spaghetti sauce was burning on the stove but they didn't care. They ended on the kitchen table between the plates and they made love there.
That moving in thing was a good idea.
* * *
Ally woke up late that morning. She looked at the alarm, sat up in her bed and yelled in panic: "Larry!"
He entered the room with a breakfast plate and orange juice. He was already dressed to go to work. He put the breakfast on the bed.
"Are you hungry, sweetie?"
She threw a pillow at him.
"Don't 'sweetie' me, Larry Paul! I'm late for work! And… you… you didn't wake me up, you… you!"
She stood up and shot him a killer look. He smiled and fixed his glasses. He thought she was cute when she was angry. She opened her drawers, searched for some clothes. She didn't find them and threw Larry's sweaters on the floor.
"Ally, you were sleeping like a baby, I just couldn't wake you… Besides, it's only 8 am. You're working at 9. You got plenty of time!"
"You are so damn wrong, Larry!"
He raised his shoulders with an interrogative look.
"Because I'm a WOMAN! You see… WE, women need more than thirty minutes to prepare ourselves. You MEN go pee, shave your stupid faces and there you go! WE, WOMEN have to shave all of our body's hair, use saccharine shower gel, put cream on and some make-up too… to please you MEN!"
"Geez! Are you okay, Ally?"
She slammed the bathroom door and rushed into the shower. She had locked the door so Larry just stood there, his head leaning on it, just waiting for Ally to get out. When she opened the door a few minutes later, she had a towel wrapped around her but the first thing Larry noticed was her smile. Finally, she was smiling.
"I'm sorry, Larry… I'm about to have my period," she admitted with imploring eyes.
"Oh! Is that it?"
He laughed and kissed the top of her nose.
"Yeah…" she sighed. "These are the two worst days of the month."
"So you're not really mad at me? I was scared… you were just about to call me a pig again."
She wrapped her arms around his neck which almost made her towel fall on the floor. Larry caught the towel with a hand.
"How can I make you forgive me, Larry?"
Larry flashed a sexy smile at her. She shivered but it wasn't because she was cold. He touched her wet hair with his fingers and let the towel drop on the floor. Ally blushed when his eyes left hers to look a little lower. He took a step forward and started to kiss her forehead, her cheek and then her shoulder.
"Mhmm… Larry. I'm… I'm late for work…"
"Me too," he admitted just before his lips met hers.
* * *
Ally had the idea to make Sam's arrival the more welcoming possible. Even though, he was just supposed to visit her… their apartment a weekend she wanted him to feel home. She decided to take Larry shopping. It took him everything to follow her into boutiques and shopping malls. He was complaining all the while but deep down inside, he felt happy that Ally was thrilled about Sam moving to Boston.
After that crazy day, both laid on the couch, very exhausted. Larry let his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. He smile, thinking about all the ice cream waiting for Sam in the freezer and the toys they had bought for him. Larry was really looking forward to give Sam the magician kit he had found for him. He wanted to practice some tricks in front of Ally just to make sure that it was working and be reassured that Sam would be impressed by his daddy's performance.
"I'm happy," Ally said, breaking the silence.
"Oh! What about?" he joked.
Both laughed. Larry tightened his embrace.
"I have everything to be happy. A nice couch, a comfortable pajama and the man I love just beside me."
Larry smiled brightly and stared at her with his brown eyes sparkling.
"Do you know what I just thought?" he asked.
Ally raised her shoulders. Larry wasn't sharing his thoughts very often.
"I told you before, Larry. I have trouble reading you."
"I just thought… Something flashed into my head. I had this image of you with a baby… our baby. I mean, not now… but I don't know… someday, it would be nice."
"Oh!" she exclaimed, her heart missing a beat. "Are… are you serious?"
He nodded with a sweet smile.
"I know that we are just at the beginning of our relationship but it seems like…"
"You're considering having a ba… baby with me, Larry? Mmm… yes… someday?" Ally interrupted with a nervous giggle. "W…why?"
"Because I love you," he simply said.
Ally started to cry. First, there was only a few tears falling down her cheeks but in the end she was sobbing in Larry's arms.
"Is it the PMS again?" he asked with a teasing tone.
"No… no," she managed to say, trying to catch her breath. "I'm just so… happy."
"Please… don't run to buy diapers right away! I really don't miss that part of having a baby…"
She laughed and hugged him tightly.
"Larry… I love you."
They kissed tenderly and Ally thought that she couldn't be happier.
* * *
Like all sweet dreams must come to an end, something happened a few days later. The kind of thing that you'll remember all your life and still make you feel the pain and remember all the details you would like to forget.
Ally was in Larry's office discussing about a case she was working on, when the phone rang. She sighed and watched Larry pick up the receiver with a pen in his hand. Probably a client…
"Larry Paul," he said distantly, smiling at Ally. "Can I help you?"
He dropped his pen on the desk and forced his eyebrows.
"Jamie? Is that you?"
Ally raised her eyes to the ceiling. "Not her again!" she thought. When her eyes got back to Larry, she saw that his face was pale. He seemed shocked. Ally felt that something bad had happened.
"W… what do you mean?" Larry asked with a trembling voice. "I don't…"
Ally could hear someone screaming on the line. Larry let the phone drop on his desk while his other hand went to his mouth. He could barely speak. Ally took the line.
"Hello?" she said timidly.
The screaming was even more powerful and then a calm voice asked:
"Larry? Are you there?"
Ally offered the phone to him but he was staring at the wall with empty eyes.
"Larry is just next to me. I'm… I'm his girlfriend… Ally."
The woman sighed.
"Hi Ally. I'm Kate… Jamie's sister. Is Larry okay?"
Ally looked down at him. Never had she seen him this way.
"He is, huh… no I don't think he is… Tell… tell me what happened."
She took Larry's hand in hers and tears started to fill her eyes. Somehow, she already knew.
"Sam… Sam got hit by a bus."
Ally squeezed Larry's fingers tightly and felt her legs weakening. Larry's eyes were cold.
"Oh my God!"
"He's in the intensive care right now. We don't know if he'll survive."
Jamie's cries became hysterical on the other line. For the first time, Ally felt for her.
"Listen," Kate said, "I really have to go. We're at Detroits general hospital. If Larry wants to come…"
She hung up and bursted into tears in Larry's arms. They remained silent before Larry started to speak slowly.
"I really have to go to Detroit. I have to see… him."
Ally nodded, trying to wipe away her tears. Larry stood up and took his suitcase, like he was going to court. He took off his glasses. There wasn't a single tear in his eyes.
"Larry…" Ally said taking his hand again.
When he finally looked at her it was like he was seeing through her.
"We have to go now," he said coldly.
* * *
It took them everything to get a flight to Detroit. Larry yelled that it was an emergency and he threatened the airport employees to sue the company. Ally had to ask to calm him down. The flight seemed endless. When they arrived in Detroit, they took a cab to the hospital.
"Damn it! Can you just move a little faster?" Larry asked the cab driver with an impatient tone.
A few minutes later they were in the hospital reception. Larry ran to the intensive care section without asking for permission. Ally followed him.
A woman, looking a little like Jamie, except for the hair, was waiting for them in the corridor.
"Hi Larry," she said with a polite smile.
"Where is he?" Larry asked, not caring about salutations.
"Larry… wait…" Kate began.
Jamie's sister looked down at the floor and played nervously with her fingers.
"Where is he?" Larry repeated again.
"Larry… Sam just passed away."
Ally felt like the floor was opening beneath her feet. She heard someone crying. It took her a few seconds to understand that she was the one sobbing.
"No… no," Larry managed to say, shaking his head. "That can't be…"
"He was severely injured."
"That can't be! I… I was just on my way to see him… Where's Jamie?"
Ally couldn't believe that Larry was showing no emotions.
"Larry. Please leave Jamie alone. This is not her fault. She's very shocked right now. The doctors had to give her some tranquilizers."
"I don't care about Jamie!" Larry said with an angry tone. "I want to see my son."
They made their way to the room where Sam was lying. Larry rushed to him and got down on his knees just next to the bed. Ally sat down and through her tears, she looked at the little boy. The kid who was so full on life, so spontaneous and intelligent was now gone. She could see the body on his little forehead. His body was covered but she could see that his legs were curving in a strange way. Life was so unfair.
"Hey buddy," Larry said softly.
He brushed away a lock of his son's blonde hair, kissed his forehead and took something out of his pocket.
"I brought something for you. Look at this…"
He had a ball in his hand.
"Let me do a little magic trick. I'm sure you'll like it…"
Ally couldn't say anything. She could just stare at Larry who was looking at his son with adoration. His lips started to tremble. He made the ball roll in his hand but it fell on the floor and rolled further.
"I lost it…" Larry said, his voice breaking. "I lost it…"
Then all the emotions came out.
He broke down, his hands covering his face.
Ally rushed to him and took him in her arms.
"It's okay, Larry. It's okay to cry."
He bursted into tears and held on to her as she started to rock him softly.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
* * *
The first thing Larry did when they got back to the apartment was to take a garbage bag and throw away the gifts they had bought for Sam. Ally watched him from a distance with her heart broken. A week had passed since the funeral. Larry had barely talked to her. Sometimes, he could sit and stare at the wall for hours. Ally didn't know what to do. In a way, she could imagine the pain he was going through. Sam's death made her remember the death of her own little sister. And of course, she couldn't help but think about Billy. "Why do young people have to die?" she was thinking. Ironically, her grand-parents were still alive. "There is no God!"
"I better work on the Roger's case," Larry said, looking for his suitcase.
He sat at the kitchen's table and began to search through his papers. Ally sat in front of him and took his hand.
"Larry… Maybe you should take a break…"
"Oh! What should I?" he asked with an impatient tone.
Larry pushed her hand away which made Ally feel like crying. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him. She was determined not to take anything personal. Larry was going through a difficult time.
"Larry. Sam just died. Maybe you should…"
"Geez! Thank you for reminding me that! I just forgot…"
He stood up and made his chair fall on the floor. He took his head between his hands.
"I know it's hard for you, Larry. But believe me… it's hard for me too. I really loved him," Ally said with a trembling voice.
"Well… yeah! You've seen him what? Two times? You don't have a clue about how I feel right now!"
Ally was about to tell him that he was wrong, that she knew what it feels like to lose somebody you love but she remained silent. Both stared into each other's eyes. Ally remembered that Larry had told her one day that when she'll have a child, she'll be stunned by the capacity you'll have to somebody. She sighed and took a step forward.
"Larry… if I could take away your pain…"
Tears started to fill his eyes, she touched his arm slightly but he backed away.
"I bet that in a way you're happy about this," he replied harshly.
"What… what do you mean?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable.
"Well see… Jamie is definitely out of the picture. Sam too… Maybe that's just what you wanted," Larry said, his voice rising with anger. "Here we are, Ally McBeal… just YOU and me. Is your little selfish person satisfied now?"
Ally stepped back and felt that tears were starting to fall on her cheeks. Larry seemed surprised by his own reaction. He put a hand on his mouth and looked down at the floor.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Ally…"
"Larry," she managed to reply, taking her coat. "I know that you're hurt. I understand, believe me… but… but I'm not gonna let you talk to me like this. I… I'll just go outside… I don't know where but I have to go."
As she was making her way to the front door, Larry stopped her by hugging her from behind.
"Ally, please… don't go! I need you…" he said with a pleading voice that broke her heart.
She couldn't move an inch. It was the first time in a week that Larry was letting her to be close to him. He had been avoiding her proximity. She couldn't even take his hand a moment ago. Larry had his arms around her when he started to sob. Ally couldn't find anything to say, all she could do was rub his arms tenderly. They just stood there a moment. Before she had the time to realize it, Larry had a hand under her shirt and was running his lips on her nape.
"Larry…" Ally whispered, trying to back away, "What are you doing?"
He made her turn around to face him. A second after, his lips were on hers asking for a passionate kiss. She tried to resist at first, thinking it was wrong to feel desire instead of sadness. But then, when he made her coat fall on the floor and started to caress her through her clothes, she forgot about everything. She responded to his kiss with a groan. He took her to their room where he made her lay down on the bed. He moved on top of her to kiss her but he stopped. He searched her eyes and just stared at her for a moment. Ally tried to read what was going on in his mind but she couldn't figure. He had never looked at her this way. His eyes were sad but then, sparkling at the same time. She had the feeling that they were trying to tell her something.
"Ally… I love you."
When he put his lips on hers again, his kisses tasted salty. Tears were falling from his eyes. He tenderly took off her clothes and began to make love to her like he never did… like it was the last time.
* * *
A few days later, Ally was in her office, trying to concentrate on a case when Elaine came in.
Ally raised her head to look at her secretary. She sat on the chair, her hands on her knees. She stared at Ally without saying anything.
"What is it, Elaine?"
Ally was intrigued. Elaine wasn't the type to sit down calmly. She always had something to say.
"Hmmm… Well," Elaine began, clearing her throat. "It's Larry…"
"Wh… what about him?" Ally asked in panic.
"Well, Nelle just saw him at the bar. Maybe you should go see him…"
Ally caught her breath. Larry was still trying to recover from Sam's death. He had gotten back to work but Ally knew that he wasn't feeling any better. At least, he was opening up a little more to her.
"Oh my God! Is he… Is he okay?"
"I don't know, Ally. From what Nelle told me… he's a little drunk."
* * *
When Ally arrived at the bar with Richard, she saw Larry at the piano. He was more than a little drunk. The top of the piano was covered by empty drinks. He was trying to play a note after the other but didn't achieve it. From where she was standing, Ally could see that he had troubles to even stay sitting.
"Poor guy…" Richard sighed.
Larry was the only client at the bar. Nothing surprising, it was only 10 am.
"Richard, could you just stay there a minute. I guess I'll need your help to take him home. I just want to talk to him a moment."
Richard nodded, feeling it wasn't the time to argue or say anything.
Ally slowly approached Larry. By the time she arrived next to him, he took two more drinks.
He raised his head up as Ally sat next to him. His breath smelled like vodka.
He smiled at her and she took his hand.
"Are you okay, Larry?"
"I… I'm feeling so… so damn good. I was just… writing a song for Sam…"
He laughed and looked up at the ceiling.
"The truth is… I don't even know if he can hear it."
Then he started to cry in Ally's arms.
* * *
The next day, when Renee got back from work she found Ally curled up on the couch. She was still wearing her pajamas.
"Hey, Ally? You took the day off?"
Renee sat down next to her and saw the look on her face. She was pale and her eyes were puffed like she had been crying all day.
Ally was gazing into space and had a piece of white paper rolled in her hand. Renee took it out delicately and red;
Dear Ally. When I woke up this morning, I took a look at you and realized how much I love you. Loving you doesn't give me the right to mess up your life. I had to leave. This time, I don't know if I will ever come back. Please, don't wait for me. I don't want you to be sad; I want you to move on with your life. I love you. Larry.
Renee took Ally in her arms and kissed the top of her head.
"Oh my God, Ally…"
"He left a note again," Ally said with a trembling voice. "I… I lost him. Larry is gone… gone. This time, there's no snowman waiting outside…"
"He left something else…"
Renee raised an eyebrow as Ally bursted into tears.
"I'm pregnant, Renee."
* * *