Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I only own the plot, as it was born from my twisted mind.
WARNING!: This story contains graphic yaoi, drug use, and naughty language, not to mention several other things someone like your grandmother may find offensive. You have no excuse not to turn back if this offends you.
Brat's Notes: Um…….yeah..So I broke my writers block, and this is what happened. I really have nothing else to say about it. Ps: If you didn't see the warning above, there's drug use in this, a lot of it.
"Painfully I prepare a release, and poison takes me away"
A Season Of Poison
It's cold tonight, almost unnervingly.
I rub my free hand against my arm, as I shift back and forth impatiently, taking another drag of my cigarette.
Kisame and Tobi, are on their way to pick me up for a party. It's my birthday tomorrow, so they insisted. Just another pathetic excuse for them to get trashed, that's all this is. They may be my best friends, but in all honesty they don't know me at all. They wouldn't want to, I know I don't particularly enjoy my company most days. My friends are a good distraction, but even surrounded by them, I am alone.
Trapped inside my rotting mind, my withering shell of a body. Standing in the cold, the trees bare, their leaves sticky and matted on the concrete in piles all around me, while I impatiently smoke my death. I know, I was meant for something so much greater than this.
This can't really be my life right?
I plunge my hand into my pocket to check my phone for the time; they're half an hour late. I hate waiting; all it leaves me with is time to think. To dive further, and further into the depths of myself, to be left alone with my thoughts, it's not as pleasant an experience as it sounds.
I don't want to be alone in this darkness anymore, but even straining my eyes until they burn with pain, I can't see the light. There is no sunshine, trapped in this eternal night. I'm afraid, terrified like a child, that I will never escape it.
I'm snapped from within myself as my fingers begin to burn, and I notice the stick of death between them has burned down past the filter. I toss it quickly into the can on the porch, nursing my throbbing fingers in my mouth, as I curse to myself.
I'm getting more than sick of waiting for Kisame and Tobi to show up.
I Rummage through my pockets until I find my cigarettes, I'm about to light another as I see headlights break through the darkness, and fog.
I hear the loud trance music, and smell the sweet aroma of a dear old friend as the car screeches to a stop in front of my grandmother's house.
"Finally, it took you guys long enough"
I mutter casually as I slip into the back seat, only to have a pipe shoved into my hands by an energetic Tobi.
"Sorry, Sasori-Sama! Kisame took forever to find they keys!"
The blue haired man in the drivers seat huffs, playfully smacking Tobi on the leg.
"Whatever, it's Deidara's fault, he showed up early, and insisted we smoke with him before we left"
"Hence, we lost the keys!" Chuckled Tobi.
I Sigh "Ah, I see"
Great, this night just keeps getting better. I close my eyes as I think of him, Deidara. We used to be so close, and then he was gone, I was alone again. Trapped in the darkness of my own personal hell. Why he left me, I don't know.
Tonight, is not the ideal night for such a reunion. I really hate my birthday, even more than I did yesterday, maybe more than I ever have.
The wind whistles as Kisame speeds away from the house, looping back out onto the main street. I flick the lighter in my hand, putting the pipe Tobi so eagerly shoved into them to my lips, and taking a healthy hit.
My eyes catch my reflection in the rear view mirror as the bowl burns, and I take every toxic particle into my lungs. Everything pauses for a split second, and I realize, this mask that I wear, my face.
This is how the rest of the human race sees, Sasori Akasuna.
My skin is a sickly pale; from the lack of sunlight it sees. My messy red hair is unkempt, and dirty. My eyes are glassy and red, from the substance coating my lungs; dark circles hang low below them, a clear sign of my insomnia. My back t-shirt hangs all too loosely on my skinny frame.
I look exactly how I feel, like the walking dead.
And I used to be such a happy child, full of life and love, wonder, and hope.
I almost laugh as I watch myself now, a pipe clutched in my calloused hands, as I speed down the road not hanging onto anything. Breaking every law I can in my mind, I haven't been wearing my seat belt this whole time.
My grandmother would be so disappointed, if she could see me now. The old hag would croak if she knew what truly lay behind this lazy mask I wear. In her mind, I'm still just as innocent and sweet as when I was a child. I'm not a child anymore, I've transcended, become the rotten putrid filth of this planet.
I pass the pipe back to Tobi, holding my breath until my lungs burn, and my head starts to spin. I relish the feel of the smoke as it leaves my lungs, curling, and coiling in the air as it slowly dissolves back into nothing. The circle continues, and in moments the pipe is back in my hands. It's like deja vu over, and over again trapped in my reflection. My contempt for myself growing more, and more with every hit I take, and then nothingness. The sweet cloudy feeling, of the drugs taking my pain away. A happy humming fills my head, and I feel warm, contented, and peaceful. If only for this moment I don't want to hide in my apathy.
I'm free; this faux sense of peace is always just a puff away. Dear Mary Jane is the most reliable friend in the world, she's never left me, she doesn't judge me. She's the only one in the world who looks passed these tired eyes, and this withering body. She embraces me, in a way no other can. She's always here to take me away. I slip my hand into my pocket, to load another bowl, but Tobi stops me, shoving a freshly loaded pipe into my face.
" It's your birthday Sasori-Sama, you get green!"
I mutter my thanks, and bring the pipe to my lips, the cycle being reborn, and continuing until we reach our destination.
We pull up to the apartment a few moments later. As I tap the ashes of my sweet eternal friend, out onto my pants blowing the pipe out gently. I feel like I can do this, I can get through this night. Nothing will change, and when I return to reality, my life will be waiting. The same mundane routine, that always leaves me alone.
I can accept this fate now I'm ready.
I take a deep breath, and light a cigarette as I step out of the car. It seems the whole gang has shown up, to get trashed in honor of my birthday. I roll my eyes, as I exhale, how flattering.
Hidan throws his cigarette to the ground, and runs from the porch to greet me. Slapping my back, and making me wretch on the foul taste of stale smoke.
"Yo puppet! Happy Fuckin' birthday!"
"Thanks" I cough, flicking the ash from the neglected cigarette in my hand. Hidan slips his arm around my shoulders, as I stable my coughing, and take another drag. I can't stand the cocky attitude behind his voice.
"You know, fuckin' Blondie's been raving about seeing you, all god damned night! I thought he was going to fucking piss his pants when you pulled up"
My stomach churns and knots as I calmly exhale. I was wrong; I'm not ready for this. I finish my cigarette in silence, greeting the rest of the gang as I make my way inside. I don't want to see him. My chest is burning, and my stomach is doing flips just thinking about him. About how it all went wrong, how he just left me without a word. Of how I found myself alone, again.
It's only been a few months since we've seen each other, but even that small amount of time seems like an eternity now. I wonder how much has changed? I know that I've changed, morphing into a darker creature every day, falling farther away from the light. From everything hiding in solitude to protect myself, but going mad with loneliness.
He wouldn't like what I've become. I can't let him see this me, this withered shell of a person he once called a friend. I want him to remember the man that I was, that Sasori, the man he laughed with, who held him while he cried. Not this unfeeling, soulless creature, forsaken by the light.
I duck away from sight, as blond flickers in my vision, I can see the hurt look on his face out of the corner of my eye. I don't regret my decision, it can't ever be the way it was, interacting now would only disappoint us both. I make my way down the hall, away from him, into a crowded room. Kisame, Tobi, Pein, and Kakuzu greet and welcome me, I take a seat in the corner only to have several pipes shoved into my face at once. I take my time passing them all only to receive them back in half the time, their idol chatter fills the void of silence in my head, and through it all I hear someone say my name.
Pein slaps my knee, in friendly way as he flops down to the floor next to me, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a brown paper bag, it's tapped shut.
"From me, and Konan, happy birthday Sasori"
I open the bag, and a scent I can only describe as heaven floods my nose. I smile, and thank him graciously. He chuckles, the metal piercing his face, glints in the dim light, and he pulls another bag from his pocket, motioning for me to hold out my hand.
I do without question, he reaches into the bag, and drops a flower shaped chocolate into my hand, winking.
"Konan made these, special for the party"
I'm excited as I pop the treat between my lips, the light almost fluffy texture of the chocolate perfectly balanced with the gritty ground coffee. The tastes blend sweetly on my tongue, as I chew. Chocolate is the perfect flavor to cover the otherwise foul taste of the mushrooms; the coffee helps the poison hit your blood faster. Konan knows me so well I love that woman.
I swallow the toxic candy exuberantly, waiting for the sweet poison to hit my blood, and take me away.
I can feel my chest start to flutter, someone hands me another pipe, and by the time it's passed me twice it's getting harder to breathe, harder to keep count of the pipes rotations. I'm starting to feel heavy, but light. As though my soul, still anchored to my chest is trying to escape. Everyone is standing around me I hear my name distantly. Kisame leans close to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. His eyes are glassy, and distant.
"We're going to the kitchen to do some shots, you comin'?
I'm silent for a moment, as I gaze passed him, into the distance. Everything sounds like it's underwater; I have to force the words to come out.
"In a bit, I need to...settle first"
Kisame pats my shoulder, and nods leaving me to myself. Exiting the room, to everyone waiting in the hallway for an answer.
"Sasori will be out in a bit, he's nauseous from coming up, so if you want to hang with him, he's in the bedroom"
Following Kisame's voice I hear an energetic shout.
"Did you hear that Senpai?! Sasori-Sama is in the bedroom!"
Damn that Tobi, he knows that right now I can't make my body move.
He knows that I can't run away, I'm trapped, and I'm starting to panic. I'm more than nauseous, the panicked feeling rising in my body, and the poison coursing through my blood, a potent cocktail threatening to make me sick. I don't have the will to move, I'm too weak to lift the weight of my own body.
He slips into the room quietly, his hands held behind his back. I lower my eyes as he approaches me, gulping air down as I breathe to ease the twisting feeling in my stomach. My heart is pounding, and I can feel it in my toes. I feel the vibrations through the plush carpet as he walks towards me; I hold my breath as he sits down on the floor next to me.
I look up instinctively, and I don't know if it's just my imagination, or all of the drugs, but I swear my ears were playing tricks on me. Sitting to my side, is not Deidara, it's an angel, holding a bong out to me in his perfect hands.
"You're nauseous, un"
It wasn't a question he was asking, he stated the words, as if he knew they were the truth.
I was nauseous.
I took the bong gently from his hands, feeling the twisting and turning subside as the smoke fills my lungs. I open my mouth, but before I can speak he stops me.
"I knew yes, I could hear you with my mind, un"
Of course, how foolish of me. Angels didn't need to ask questions, they didn't need to communicate with words.
"Danna, you're silly, un"
Silly? How am I silly? A cynical, dark creature like me sitting poisoned in the corner. I'm anything but silly.
"I'm not an angel, Danna"
He's trying to trick me, trying to make me think he's Deidara. He can't fool me; the heavenly glow surrounding him is so bright it's almost blinding me.
I take a deep breath, still struggling to make the words come out, my voice seems so hard to conjure.
"Then why? Why...are you so bright?"
He puts a soft hand on my cheek, shaking his head.
"Danna, don't make yourself talk, I know it's hard, un. Just think I can hear you"
He moves closer to me, pressing his forehead against mine.
"I can hear everything that goes on in your mind, un"
He's lying; my mind is a dark and twisted place that terrifies even me.
I think, "Then why haven't you run away?"
I'm startled as almost immediately, he answers me.
"Because I'm not afraid of you, un"
I look into his eyes, the brilliant blue almost invisible behind the onyx of his dilated pupils. I can see heaven fluffy, and white, glowing, and brilliant in those glassy sapphires. Why? I wonder, why did everything fall apart between us?
He really can read my mind.
"Because I was afraid of myself, un"
His breath his hot, and sweet against my lips. I can taste the residue of smoke in the air between us, and I remember the bong in my hands, placing it gently back in his. He pulls away from me, his scent lingering in my nose. I watch him place the bong to his lips, parting them softly as they kiss the surface of the glass.
Absent mindedly, I bring my hand to my face, softly tracing my lips with my fingers. I can't help but blush as I think, it's almost as though his lips were touching mine in a way. The ghost of a kiss, imprinted on the glass.
I gasp as he gently cups my face; I hadn't even seen him set down the bong. I'm shocked when I feel the silk of his lips, against the rough cracked skin of mine. His tongue wet, and warm, trails my lips softly, and hesitantly I part them. Breathing in quickly as his tongue invades my mouth, and I taste the smoke on his breath. Reluctantly, I pull away exhaling, watching as the smoke coils from between my parted lips.
"I was afraid of my feelings, un"
He's pressed his forehead to mine again, the tickle of his breath against my lips making me shiver.
"I had to get away, to think. So I dropped off of the face of the planet for awhile, un"
He's wrapped his arms around me, I hadn't noticed, but he must have moved me. I'm almost sitting in his lap.
"I tried to run from it, I tried to deny it, I drove myself insane, questioning"
He's running his hands delicately through my short, dirty hair, and suddenly I'm almost embarrassed by my poor hygiene.
"And then I realized, that it was pointless to deny it, un"
He's looking so deeply into my eyes, into my mind, that it's almost scary.
"I love you, Sasori"
This time, when his lips meet mine, I'm not surprised, and I part my lips in an instant, letting him take control. For a second, while his tongue caresses mine, I almost have the sensation of bathing in the sunlight, so safe, and warm. The heavenly glow that seems to surround him, enveloping us both. His hands slide up my shirt, and I don't stop him. My skin is on fire, as he rubs his hands over it. It's as though his fingertips are sucking all of the cold away.
He breaks from my lips, kissing my neck, warmth flowing from the moist mark, all the way down to my core. I feel his tongue trail my ear, and he whispers.
"I'm sorry, un. I didn't mean to leave you all alone I know you were afraid. But Sasori, I was meant to save you from the darkness, un"
In that moment, I knew every word he spoke was true. I had never been alone; I had been running from the light right before my eyes, all along. Making myself believe that it had forsaken me, I was a fool.
I think, "This is it, this is the feeling I was looking for, that warmth"
Deidara smiles, his hands sliding my shirt over my head, pushing me down to the plush carpet. The soft material tickles my burning skin. Suddenly, I can feel the ache of his need, he moves to straddle me, and I can practically taste his desire.
I can feel everything, every pressure, and pain. These are his feelings, so why can I suddenly feel them too?
He flings his shirt over his head, his hair glimmering in the dim light, as it falls softly over his bare shoulders. He presses our bare skin together, rocking gently on top of me, and again he gives me an answer to my silent question.
"Because we're soul mates"
He runs his hands down my bare sides; the sensations that fill my body are indescribably pleasant. He's barely touching me, and I'm more than aware of the ache between my legs, my jeans are rubbing against me in a way that's almost painful. The desire I feel is no longer Deidara's alone, I'm drowning in it, lost in a passion I believed I was incapable of.
Overwhelmed, I know I won't stop him. He can have me any way he wants, I don't care. I need this I need him.
I don't need to say it; he already knows I'm sure. We've lost the need to communicate with words; they seem so unnecessary at this point, too trivial. He knows what I want, what I need, and in return I will give him the same.
He kisses me fiercely, and his hands find their way to my pants, undoing the button, and ripping down the zipper. Sliding the impeding article, along with my boxers, off of my hips, too pool around my ankles. I kick them off slowly, watching as his dilated sapphires drink in every detail of my naked body.
He runs his hand cautiously over my arousal, the feathery contact making my heart race my toes curl. A soft moan escapes my cracked, parted lips. He kisses my neck, grazing his teeth over my skin. He kisses my collarbones, my chest, and my stomach. He licks the skin just above my manhood, licking the head gently before taking it into the warmth of his mouth. Those silky parted lips brushing against my heated flesh as he begins to move his head.
For a split second my whole body is filled with a hot liquid light, so bright I have to close my eyes.
My hands find their way to the long silky mane of his hair, tangling in it, pulling and caressing while I try to stay still. It feels like soft feathery down between my fingers, and I find myself rolling it around absently, just to feel it more. I'm tugging on that silky mane, and he's moaning around me, the vibrations driving me crazy. I feel like I can't stay still any longer, I shudder, and twitch under his touch.
I can hear him smiling, satisfied with every reaction he gets. I know this overwhelming feeling can't last forever, he's already thinking of pulling away from me, of going farther. I want him so badly, I don't even care, I just don't want this to stop.
He moves off of me to rid himself of his own pants, my eyes can't help but travel downwards. Taking in the sight of his lean body, the glow of the dim light highlighting every delicate feature.
I flush as my eyes fall on his manhood, standing proudly between his legs. The devious smirk on his face makes me swallow hard. He's watching me, like he wants to devour my very soul.
He puts his fingers to my lips, and I take them into my mouth hungrily. His skin is salty, and I can taste the residue of THC on his fingertips. He pulls his fingers from my mouth, hastily placing them at my entrance. I know this is going to hurt like hell. I spread my legs open wider as he pushes the finger inside of me. I wince as, he adds another finger without hesitation, and I can feel myself stretching. The muscle being pushed beyond it's normal limits, I can't really tell if it hurts, or if my body is just reacting to how I know it should feel.
I don't even care, somewhere in the midst of my confusion, he's added another finger. The way he's twisting, and turning them inside me, making me squirm. I never said I was a patient man. I've been thrusting my hips against those fingers, since they began their intrusion. I'm not saddened by the loss as they reluctantly withdraw from inside me, and he's pressing his aching manhood against me.
I close my eyes, and sigh as he pushes inside of me, it stings, but I feel no horrible pain. I open my eyes to gaze at his face while he sheathes himself so deeply inside me. His eyes are closed, a light flush painting his sun kissed cheeks. He looks lost, deep in concentration.
His breathing is steady, and even, he wraps his arms around my shoulders, sighing as he pulls me to sit in his lap. His hips starting a slow, intoxicating rhythm, which I soon begin to mimic with my own, rocking together in a harmony all our own.
I loose myself completely, letting the beauty of our symphony take my senses. I meet every one of his movements precisely with my own; he buries his face in my neck kissing my skin tenderly, as he pants against me.
His hand has snaked its way between our bodies, to gently grasp my neglected arousal. I'm gasping, panting, and pleading for release while he strokes me, almost to softly. I can feel his lips curl into a smile against my neck, and he speeds up. His hand stroking me with rough, and quick movements, his hips pausing only to slam into me harder, and harder.
By now I feel like I should be screaming.
The pressure building in my spine, the heat pooling in the pit of my stomach, twisting, and turning knots of pleasure that I can't seem to get enough of let me know that sweet release is close. Seconds, or minutes away, I don't know time seems too trivial to keep track of.
He pulls almost all of the way out of me pausing again, and slamming back inside of me. Hitting my prostate dead on. A brilliant white light replaces my vision, and a calm almost serene feeling overcomes me, in tingling waves.
He muffles his moans, kissing my lips sweetly as I feel him release inside of me. Lazily, he continues to thrust, riding out the sweet bliss of his orgasm.
Thinking about him filling me so completely, pushes me over the edge. I bite his lips roughly as I spill myself in his hand.
Panting, and sweaty, blood running from his lips, he pulls away from me, licking his messy hand clean. His eyes never leaving mine.
He holds me for a few moments longer, before pulling out of me, and searching the room for a towel. He cleans us up, gently, and helps me replace the clothing I shed. Once we're dressed, he pulls me back into his lap, placing the discarded bong in my hands, and stroking my hair gently as I take another rip.
He places the glass to his lips, finishing the last of it. When he whispers, I can feel the smoke tickle my ear.
"I love you, I'll never leave you again, un"
I Smile, still unable to coherently form the words to physically answer him. I think, "I love you too"
His smile fills my heart with warmth, and softly he kisses my forehead. Tonight ended up better than I could have hoped. Maybe, just maybe his wings alone will be enough to carry us both into the light, I can only hope.
Even if we stay trapped in this darkness together, I don't care.
I Just never want him to let me go.