Chapter 21: The Phone Call

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Toasty Warm Chapter 6 (Bedward's Lemon) is a finalist for the 2009 Twilight Awards, Best Lemon. Please vote, and read last year's great stories while you're there. Voting closes March 15/2010. Link to copy and paste into your browser: http://forum(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/forum/CuriosityKilled_The_Cat/69076/

Two days after the wedding.

Alice's pov:

The sky was replete with orange and pink streaks. It was going to be a lovely day. Carlisle and Esme were lounging cheerfully in their robes, with newspapers, in the living room. Rosalie and Emmett had left for an early morning run, and Jasper and I were just descending from our lair.

The day previous had presented the expected stress and tedium, and Edward and Bella's colossal practical joke.

The scamps.

However, there were serious matters to be discussed, and there was no time like the present, since Rose was out of the house.

Jazz and I filed into the living room and sat opposite my parents. Carlisle looked up over the top of his paper when we failed to speak. He set his paper down.

"Uh-oh, Mother," he said. "I think our peaceful morning has come to an end." He regarded me seriously. "What's up, children? Spit it out."

"It's Bella," I said hesitantly.

"Oh, God! Is she dead?"Esme cried, panicking.

"No, no, no, no, no," I said, shaking my head vehemently and patting her hand reassuringly. "Nothing like that. They're both fine. All's going swimmingly."

Esme and Carlisle sank back on the couch. I wasn't sure how to say it without sounding like a lunatic. "Um, it's just that ..."

Jasper interjected, "Edward might ought to have made use of Em's prophylactics."

"Huh?" Carlisle fastened confused eyes on Jazz.

"Bella's pregnant," I blurted out. Carlisle gawped at me.

Carlisle and Esme looked at us incredulously. Then, they looked at each other and laughed. Esme beamed.

"Very funny, kids. Now what's the punchline?" my father demanded. He crossed his arms and put one foot up on his knee, and waited expectantly for a great story.

"No joke. She really is. Pregnant." I said solemnly.

Carlisle processed my words, then tried to answer. Nothing came out. He tried again. "She'd never cheat on Edward."

"Of course not. It's his!" I exclaimed.

"But that's just a legend," he protested.

"Legends are often founded on truth," I declared. Carlisle frowned worriedly.

I zoned out, and zoned back, panicking. "Oh, no! You mustn't frighten him. He'll bite her now and the baby will not be able to develop or die. It will destroy her body like a cancer. You must let everything progress naturally. The baby will be a wonderful part of our lives. It must live!"

"A grandchild?" Esme questioned wonderingly.

"yes. A blessing to us all," Jasper said smugly. "Blasted incubus. Always has to show his brothers up," he chortled.

"They're calling today. We can't let on that we know," I warned. "They don't know yet."

"Incredible," Carlisle stated, shell-shocked.

"Yes," I agreed, "but it's going to happen."

"A grandchild!" Esme exclaimed, grinning.

"God works in mysterious ways," Carlisle mused.

"How do we tell Rose?" Esme asked fretfully.

"Don't tell her now. She will find out from them in a couple of weeks, and she will be happy. If you tell her now, it will be hard on her and things won't go as well," I predicted.

"Sufficient to the day are the troubles therein," Carlisle advised. "It's going to be an interesting phone call."

"Today's phone call will just be a normal chat. Two kids checking in while they're away from home," I stated.

"I don't mean that one. I mean the one where they tell us the news."

"That's going to be a great phone call," I promised, just as Rose and Em came through the door.

"Guess I have some research to do," Carlisle said, starting to get up.

The phone rang. Carlisle sat down again. All of us stared at it. Nobody picked up.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "What's wrong with you guys?" he demanded. Nobody answered him, so he picked up the phone.

"Hellooo? Cullen's House of Ill Repute," he joked. "Oh, hi, Edward. Big surprise. Having fun kiddo? Did Bella pop your man-cherry?" Emmett frowned and then laughed at whatever Edward had said to him. "I'm not sure that's physically possible, bro. Here, let me put you on speaker." Emmett punched the button, and we heard Edward and Bella whispering on the other end of the line.

"Hello, son," Carlisle said, breaking the silence.

"Hi Dad. Just wanted you to know everything's great down here, not that Alice hasn't already told you," Edward said happily.

"Hey! I've been good!" I protested.

"How's our daughter?" Esme asked.

"Still kicking. You won't get rid of me that easily," Bella laughed. "Thanks for letting us borrow your island, Esme. It's perfect."

"You're most welcome, Bella. But you two had better not treat it in the manner you treated Edward's room," Esme warned.

Cacophonous laughter met this remark, and we all chuckled along with our brother and his mate.

"Listen!" Emmett commanded. "Two bears choking!"

"Are we in trouble?" Bella demanded through her laughter.

"Heaps!" Carlisle smirked. Bella was in trouble, technically. But everything would work out well in the end.

"Oh, we just couldn't resist. Bella incorriged me, uh, encouraged me." Edward giggled.

"Hey!" she yelled playfully. We heard a slight scuffle. Then it sounded like they kissed.

"It's okay, we deserved it," I admitted. "But don't you two get cocky. Next time you try it, we'll get you but good.

"Truce," Edward declared.

"Not on your life!" Esme declared loudly.

"Ooh, I'm frightened, Mommy!" Edward said mockingly.

"You should be. I'm redecorating at your expense, using the gaudiest materials I can find," Esme warned.

"Ouch. Bella? Protect me."

"So what are your plans for the day?" Carlisle asked.

"You don't ask them that! Jasper protested. "Too much information, Carlisle!"

"Oh, we're just going to go out and soak up some sun," Edward said dismissively. "I'll show Bella around another day. She's still really tired. Too much wedding stress, Alice!"

"Oh, sure. Blame me." I rolled my eyes. I wasn't about to explain to him why Bella was tired. I wanted my niece and my new sister to be healthy and, eventually, immortal.

"Make sure you show Bella the parrots, Edward. They're so cute!" Rose ordered.

"Okay, Rosalie. Well folks, I think we'll say goodbye. We just wanted to make sure you were still speaking to us."

"Barely, son. I'd watch your back when you get home if I were you. Mother is going to make you pay."

"Forgive me, Mom. Please? I couldn't resist."

"No. But I still love you. It's a good thing you're cute, Edward, and that you married my favourite human. Now you take care of her, and both of you behave yourselves."

"Yes, ma'am!" Edward promised.

"Nicely!" Esme ordered.

"Yes, Mother!" they chorused.

"We love you," Bella reminded us. We all answered her back.

Yes, Bella, we all love you. Be well. Be safe.

After a torrent of 'goodbyes', Edward made to hang up the phone.

"Edward?" Jasper yelled at the last possible second.

"Yes, Jazz?" Edward asked curiously.

"Have a nice nap." Jazz disconnected the line before Edward could finish saying "What?!"

We all looked at my husband, and dissolved in laughter.

I picked up the phone and dialled it. Everyone looked at me curiously. "Hello, Billy? It's Alice Hale. Is Jacob alright?"

"Oh, hello Alice. Jacob is .. as well as can be expected. He's behaving himself, and following orders. I think he's sorry for what he did," Billy reported.

"My family will be glad to hear it. I just wanted you to know that we just spoke to Bella and Edward. They are fine. They seem very happy. I thought Jacob would want to know that she's safe and well."

There was a small pause. Billy exhaled in relief. "It was mighty nice of you to let me know. Thanks very much, Alice. I'll be sure and pass the news along."

"Okay, Billy."

"Thank your family for me. Especially Edward. He's ... a good person."

"Yes, he is. Thank you, Billy. You take care now."

"I will. Goodbye, Alice."

"Bye, Billy." I hung up the phone. My family was staring.

"They really are fine, then? Both of them?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes. Honest. He didn't hurt her. Unless you count the venom, he never will." I stated firmly.

"Amazing love story, isn't it?" Esme murmured sentimentally.

"The best," Rosalie confirmed, smiling. I smiled back at her.

Yes, a most amazing love story. And it was only beginning...

The End.

Put me on Author Alert, because the honeymoon fic is coming soon. It's called "I Hunger For Your Touch". And if you liked this story, please, pretty please, review. It's Christmas and I'd like to hear from you.