Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does.
A/N: My life has been so hectic that I almost forgot about my stories…almost. I'm back now and I've improved in age and, hopefully, as a writer. I'm not perfect, and I also accept that not everyone will like my story. I have to come to terms with that. I'm rewriting Forbidden Love because I want to show maturity in my writing. I will change things, but keep the integrity of the story. This is the story I wanted to write all those years ago, it just didn't translate well. Reading it over, I could tell just how absurd some things were and the lack of thought I put into. Don't fret. This is a new and improved version. I appreciate the love and support
My life is really boring. I know every 18 year old says that, but no my life is really fucked up. My name is Isabella Marie Swan after my grandmother who doesn't even like me. My parents are Charlie Swan and Renee…whoever she was married to now, I can't keep up. We all live in a really small town in Washington called Forks. Forks, population 400, was a dead town to people who passed through just to get to their actual destination. It's like living near the ocean where rich people come and spend their summers before going back to their actual home, but without the fun. I lived a normal teenage life. I went to the only high school named…Forks High. I work at the Macaroni Grill, and I volunteer at the police station where my dad is the chief of police. He seems to have gotten it in his head that I want to go into law, but my real passion is English, and I want to be an English teacher. Growing up in Forks had its perks. I knew everyone and everyone knew me, I was liked and feared mostly because I'm the daughter of a cop, and it's easy for me to get a job because I'm actually a hard worker. I'm not an outside kind of girl so the constant rain and cold weather doesn't bother me. There's also disadvantages of living in a small town. Everyone knows, likes, and fears me. There was no introductions or reinventing myself. People here know me and if they don't, I can count on anyone to let them know about me.
When Edward Cullen came into town and moved into one of the two apartment complexes at night, by morning over eggs my dad was telling me about it.
"He tried to sneak in. Judy told me last night when I was on duty. Can you believe it? A 27 year old man sneaking into an apartment here."
I rolled my eyes as I drank my juice. "Maybe he wanted to avoid the shenanigans and Ms. Judy is a gossip who sits on her porch with binoculars. Stop getting gossip from the old women of the town." I said as I brought our dishes to the sink to wash them. "Cullen…why does that sound familiar?"
"Dr. Cullen works at the hospital. Apparently his son got into some trouble in California. I heard it was some gangs or something. So his dad paid for him to come down here. He even got him a job at Bob's auto shop."
"There you go with the gossip again dad." I said washing my hands. I was getting ready for school when Renee walked in the door.
"Hola family." She said taking my spot on the table. And biting my dad's toast. It was his turn to roll his eyes.
"Hey Renee." We said in unison.
"Did you hear? Carlisle and Esme's son moved into the complex by the Pizza Pit. I heard he got arrested for stealing." She said with a mouthful of toast. My mother was so classy.
"I heard it was a gang."
"I'm off to school." I interrupted the gossips grabbing my book bag and my coat.
Those two talk and hang out more than when they were actually married. Divorce did their relationship some good. My dad didn't date much after they divorced 10 years ago. He maybe went out once with a woman and he came back smiling from ear to ear at 9 the next morning. It was gross. My mom on the other hand dated a lot. She married someone 10 months after their divorce which crushed my dad. That same night I heard him sobbing in the bathroom when she told us. They were divorced longer than they were married, and I don't even remember the guy's name. Then her and my dad hooked up, only for her to step on his heart by moving to Vegas and getting married to Joe. Joe was an asshole who beat her. When my dad found out, I stayed with The Weber's for a week. I only found out my dad beat him within an inch of his life when I heard Renee tell Jane Weber when they got back. She used words like knight and shining armor, heroic, brave and sexy. I recalled my dad's knuckles were bruised for three days. It didn't take long for her to move in with another man. I think my dad gave up after that.
I always respected them for staying together for 8 years. They weren't even in a relationship when my mom got pregnant. She moved to Forks at 20 looking to start over after living with an abusive father and a drunk mother in Tennessee. My dad was 26 working as a traffic cop when he pulled her over for doing 55 in a 25 area. My mom described him as a man who looked good in a uniform whispering for her license and registration and she was hooked. They wounded up at his house the next night after three long islands. The condom broke and I was the biggest surprise of their lives. A month after my birthday, they got married.
My childhood was always pleasant. I remember riding my bike, my dog Chocolate, spending my summers at La Push with my best friend Jacob and being active in ballet which I loved. There were times that weren't so pleasant like when my Chocolate got ran over, when there was a fire at my childhood home or when Jacob and his dad moved to Wisconsin. Then, there was the tensed relationship my mom and dad had. They tried to hide it, but I heard them argue about money and how my mom was a butterfly who needed to spread her wings. When they sat me down to talk about the divorce, I wasn't shocked.
School wasn't that bad. I was an A student. I was a cheerleader and on the path to being Prom Queen. It was March and that's all anyone talked about that and college. I had applied to a couple of schools in Washington because I wanted to be close to my dad. I already got accepted to Seattle University where I intended on going for a full scholarship after visiting with my mom on instant decision day. We were both ecstatic because there was no way she could afford college on her tips at Debbie's Dine and there was no way my dad could do it himself with bills piling up. I bless the Pizza Pit for taking a chance on me but there were no amount of shifts they could give me that would put a dent on one semester.
I've been through a lot of bullshit, but after school, my job, and my family, I had one thing left to do, experience love. That's why when I heard the news of Edward Cullen's arrival, butterflies bubbled in my stomach. Edward was just under 6 feet. He had penny colored hair, bright green eyes, full lips that hid a perfect smile, and a strong jaw. His muscles were big, but not like muscle man hear me roar big, just big enough so you know he worked out a lot. He was a great dresser, but most importantly, he was an amazing man.
The rumors about him weren't true. In California, he graduated from UCLA with honors. He wanted to be a pediatrician because he loved working with kids, something we had in common. We had more than just that in common; we had been dating for the past year and no one in my nosey town knew.
One Year Ago
Angela and I were grinning from ear to ear about our college visit to UCLA. Not only was the campus bigger than our town, but there were so many cute college guys. Being a hormonal 17 year old, it's hard not to notice when a cute guy winks at you. The look on Mr. Weber's face was priceless.
"Where to first girls?"
"Dad I think we can travel by ourselves. The boogeyman won't get us."
"Yes they will." He said looking at two blonde haired blue eyed boys staring Angela down. Angela was beautiful. She had a beautiful red hair that traveled down her back. She was tall, slim and recently acquired a figure that even made me blush. She wasn't a flaunter of her new attainted beauty. To me she has always been beautiful, but this past summer, when she came back from Florida, she became tanner, slimmer, bustier and all around shinier. Everyone, especially every male teenager and some older males, noticed her change. She was no longer mousy Angela who wore long skirts and had a body like a cardboard cutout. She was even more beautiful. I, on the other hand, have been the same all my life. I had chestnut hair, brown eyes, a C cup bust, rounder hips, and a plum ass standing at 5'5. I loved my curves because I wasn't skin and bones, but I was healthy. I enjoyed burgers and pizza which attributes to my round hips, but I was an active swimmer and runner, leaving my stomach flat and preventing cellulite. I was confident in my skin, but standing next to Angela who was getting even more stares, I may as well had been invisible.
I was just about to assure Mr. Weber we would be fine, when a football hit me on my back.
"What the f…" I stopped mid-sentence when I saw a bronze haired god jogging towards me.
"I'm really sorry." He said while picking up the football. He stared in my eyes and I felt a spark. His eyes widen a little and I had to look down because I was getting red.
"Edward?" Mr. Weber said. He shook Edward's hand.
"Mr. Weber, how are you?" He said forcing himself to stop staring in my eyes.
"Just showing Ang and Bells around the campus. They will be applying here next year." Edward looked down at me again. I stared at the football in his hands. "You know what I remember your dad saying something about you being here."
"Here's a thought, you know the school way better than I do. Why don't you show the girls around?" I blushed and Ang beamed.
"Yes dad. That sounds great. Go back to the hotel and get some rest."
"I'll pick you up at 6."
"Dad we'll just stay with Edward. Right Edward?"
"I have my own apartment. They can sleep in my room while I take the couch."
"I don't know girls." Mr. Weber shook his head. "Bella, how do you feel about that?"
I stopped staring at Edward's hands and focused on Mr. Weber's worried face. I smiled. "I think we will be fine. We have our phones on if we need you."
Mr. Weber thought. I don't know how convinced he was. After what seemed like forever, Mr. Weber sighed before saying, "Fine. But I know your dad's number son, and I will call him in a heartbeat. Girls, here's 50 dollars. If you need to take a cab. Call the police then me. I swear boy. You better keep my girls safe."
"Of course sir. I'm going to show them the campus. They can even sit in on my 5 o'clock class. We will grab some dinner, then head to my apartment right there by 7. I have some movies they can watch and some games they can play. I'll take care of them." He said this as he typed his number and address in Mr. Weber's phone.
"Ok girls be safe."
Mr. Weber left us and Edward resumed his staring at me.
"You guys will be fine." He said to me. I finally looked back into his green eyes. I tried not to drool.
The day planned out just as Edward said. We visited every part of the school, Edward telling us about the hang outs, and places to get great coffee. We ran into a lot of his friends, mostly females who glared at Ang and I. Edward was a perfect gentleman. He answered our questions, made us laugh and even brought us some delicious smoothies. Before we knew it, we were headed back to his apartment at 6:50.
"That class was amazing." Ang said. We waiting for Edward to open the door to his apartment.
"I know. Who knew Anatomy could be so fun." I said smiling.
"We're here ladies." He said holding the door open for us. It was a typical college male apartment. He had lots of papers on his table, an old pizza box and half empty Cokes and Red bulls.
"Sorry for the mess." He said while picking up his trash and straightening his papers. He didn't have a normal couch, but a futon. It had a white sheet over it, and it was surprisingly clean. He turned on the TV and some football highlights came on. I was silently happy because I love football. Ang rolled her eyes as she sat down on the futon. Edward made a call to Pizza Hut for two large pies one plain and the other with pepperoni. I was actually pretty hungry after all the walking and tired. I sat next to Ang as Edward washed the little dishes in his sink.
He went to the bedroom and as I turned around to take a peek, I saw him bend down to pick up some more papers. He had an amazing ass. He ran his hands in his beautiful hair. My fingers twitched. He caught me staring at him. He didn't smile, but he looked sad almost. I blushed and turned back to football.
"Pizza should be here in a minute. Here's my DVD collection." He pointed to a pile of DVD's. Angela walked over and started rummaging through it. Edward took her place next to me on the couch.
"How do you like the school?"
"I love it!" I exclaimed like a school girl. I blushed. Edward just smiled.
"I'm glad. Is it your number one choice?"
No but you are. "It's actually SU."
"That's a great school."
"I think I wanna watch Bring it On."
I stared at Edward amused. It was his turn to blush.
"My friends April and Kelly love the movie. They left it here as a joke."
Ang just smiled. I didn't.
"Bella and I love this movie." I nodded when Edward looked at me.
Edward put the movie on and the pizza came. We all sat and ate, but when Ang and I were done eating, we stood and cheered like the girls in the movie. Edward just smiled, watching me the whole time. By the time the movie was done, Mr. Weber came to see Edward's place. He checked all over the small apartment before being content. He sat and we watched Iron Man before Mr. Weber began to yawn. He dropped off our book bags and warned Edward no going out. We reassured him that we were fine pushing him out of the door as we did. He would come back tomorrow morning at 8 to pick us up because we had school Monday morning. Angela took a shower as I helped Edward clean our mess.
"Thanks for today. We really appreciate it." I said as I washed out our cups.
I smiled at him before heading to the bathroom. I knocked on the door letting Ang know it was me. She was washing her face. I turned the water on, got undressed and stepped in. The hot water on my skin was amazing. I noticed Edward had Irish Spring and Dove's Men. No wonder he smelt amazing. He had a razor and a Dove bar. Probably for April and Kelly. I used the Dove to wash myself.I was stupid for getting jealous. I was a 17 year old junior in high school and he is a 26 year old in graduate school. It would never work. Still I couldn't help fantasizing about waking up in his arms, his strong arms wrapped around me, hands touching me all over…
"Bells?" I jumped from my day dream. My hands were on my left breast. I flushed. Thank God for curtains.
"I said Edward seems smitten with you?"
I pushed the curtain back. "What are you talking about?" I asked stepping out wrapping on of his huge towels around my body.
"He can't stop staring at you." She said brushing her hair. "I think you two should watch another movie while I got to bed." She suggested.
I brushed my teeth and washed my face as she went out and faked being tired. If I knew her, she would be reading Jane Austen.
"I chose another movie." He said. He was watching Harry Potter.
"I love this movie."
"Good come watch it."
We didn't watch the movie. Instead we talked all night. We talked about our families, friends, school, football, TV shows, movies, food, books, and pretty much everything about ourselves. I learned he wanted to be a doctor, but he loved working on cars and motorcycles. He was a straight A student who was in many clubs. He loved to play football but only for fun. He was so nice helping out at the hospital. He attended church every Sunday and had an active role in tutoring special needs kids. He was perfect. So perfect that I couldn't share my flawed life with such a flawless person.
"I wanna know more about you."
I shook my head. "Not much to tell."
"Come on Bella." He pouted. I sighed and told him all about me.
"I know I haven't done much and my story isn't as amazing."
"I'm not comparing our experiences. I just want to know about you."
"Because you're interesting and beautiful. If you were Chief Swan's daughter, I would have kissed you already."
"Why don't you?"
"I just told you why."
"I thought maybe because I'm 17." I looked down at my hands.
"I'm not going to pretend that it won't be an issue," He grabbed my hands forcing me to look into his eyes "I can wait until you're older, but that's just going to make us both unhappy. I've spent too much time being unhappy. You coming here has been the happiest I've been in a long time. I won't do anything unless you want it. I just want to get to know you better."
I leaned in to kiss his cheek. I felt that spark again and before I knew it, I was straddling him sucking his tongue. He didn't move. He seemed to be resisting. I stopped. I'm sure I looked like a mad woman. My hands were on his strong broad shoulders and I was breathing heavily. I wanted to continue kissing him. I wanted him to run his hands on my thighs, cup my ass, and pull my hair. My hormones were out of control. I looked in his eyes. He looked pained.
"I'm sorry." I said getting slowly getting of his lap. I took a moment to appreciate him in his tank top and UCLA sweatpants. He must have changed when Ang and I were in the bathroom because he was wearing jeans and a 49ners shirt earlier. I thanked myself for bringing sweatpants and shirt from Victoria Secrets as pjs. I noticed something poking through his pants and without thinking I grabbed it. He jumped off the couch. I put my hands on my mouth.
"It's fine. I got carried away. You should get some sleep. It's 5 am." I looked at the clock by the TV shocked. Had we really stayed up that late talking? I walked to his room and as I closed the door I saw him pull his hair.
The next day Edward made us some eggs. I was exhausted after getting only three hours of sleep and noticed Ang was out of bed. She packed our bags but left my clothes for today and toothbrush. After getting dressed in my skin tight jeans, and Forks High sweatshirt, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on some lip gloss, and put my long hair in a high ponytail. Edward and Ang were laughing when I walked in the living room. They were at his small table in the middle of his kitchen eating eggs, toast and coffee.
"Morning sleepy head." Ang said.
"Morning." I said taking a seat and a long sip of coffee. I avoided Edward's gaze.
"My dad will be here in 20 minutes. So eat up." She got up to wash her plate.
"I'm not hungry." I said scolding at Edward. He gave me an icy glare back.
"I'm going to the store. Anyone want anything?"
"No." Edward and I said in unison glaring at each other.
"O K." Ang said tip toeing out of the kitchen and giving me a sympathetic glance as she closed the door behind her. I got up tossing the eggs in the garbage, upset at being wasteful, but angry that Edward was angry at me. I went to the sink turning the water on, when to large hands gripped my shoulders turning me around and picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and ran my hands in his hair as his mouth attacked mine. The water was running and the room was spinning but all I could feel was his mouth on mine, his hands touching me in all the spots I wished for last night. I felt us move from the sink to the wall by the fridge as he grabbed my hands and pinned me to the wall attacking my neck. I moved on him wanting these jeans to disappear along with his pants. I made a noise I never made before when he let go of my hands and pulled my hair out of the ponytail. His mouth trailed to my cheek, forehead and mouth again. I opened mine to permit his tongue in. He tasted so good like hazelnut and mint. He stopped and stared at me. Breathing heavily, he let me down despite my protest.
"I shouldn't have done that." He whispered. "I'm not this kind of man." I noticed the bulge again. He said something else as I sank to the floor to sit down feeling dizzy. He turned the water off. There was my glass and coffee on the floor. Thankfully it didn't break. I must have knocked it down with my leg when he picked me up. The kitchen is so small and I was close to losing my virginity in it. After a minute, I stood up with his help.
"What are you doing to me?" He asked me.
"I don't know."
"This is crazy."
"Yes Bella. I'm a man and you're a…"
"If I was 21 then what?"
"We'd be on my bed."
"So pretend I'm 21."
He shook his head.
"Fine. Let's wait until I'm 21. We can just talk and date."
"You're not going to wait around for that Bella. You're young. You should date and live your life."
"Don't lecture me. I don't wanna date anyone. I wanna date you. I like you. I don't care about our age difference. I've never been able to open up to someone so quickly like I have with you. I told you things I haven't told Ang, why? Because I believe you could mean so much to me." I stood up, not caring my feet were getting wet with cold coffee, and put my hands on face looking at ever beautiful inch of it. "I want this. I want you." I said pleading.
He closed his eyes. "How?"
"We can do this. I'll come on the weekends. I saved enough money to buy a truck from Bob. We can hang out on the beach, stay up all night talking and kissing." He laughed. "We can go to dinners and dancing. We can build something for a year. Then when you graduate and I graduate. You can come back to Forks. We can tell everyone that this is real. We can move to Seattle together and start our lives." I let go of his face. "I feel something here. Call me crazy. Call me naïve, but I won't let this go without a fight."
Ang knocked on the door, but Edward and I didn't move an inch. We stared at each other. "We can do this." I whispered as Ang knocked again.
"Bells, my dad is here. Open up."
Edward nodded. I smiled brighter than ever before. I hugged him tightly and returned it. "We can do this." He whispered back before kissing my cheek.
And we did it. We had a crazy, romantic, challenging, fun, meaningful relationship. He came to Forks on weekends and I went to California that summer, after a well laid out plan for my dad and Renee and saving every penny I earned, surprisingly Edward paid for my ticket and pretty much everything else that summer despite my protest. He truly was amazing and our relationship was carefree. We got into some trouble by going to someone's house and playing in their pool. Despite the fun we had, we had some arguments. When we got weird stares or whatever, he would try to break up with me.
Our arguments were intense and thought provoking. He challenged me not just emotionally but intellectually. He knew so much, experienced so much and had a lot to teach me. When I was packing up to leave at the end of August. I found myself in a full blown relationship with a man. There was one thing about our relationship that we haven't been explored, a sexual one. Besides some intense making out and feeling over clothes, Edward hasn't touched me. It was mind blowing how after pulling out all the stop, Edward still wouldn't budge. He was strong and after a while I gave up. He assured me it will happen. I told him it should happen on my birthday.
So when March 1st came, he took my virginity. I turned 18 and I was deflowered by my 26 year old boyfriend. It was nice the touching, feeling and exploring part of it, but when it came down to do the deed, it hurt like hell. It wasn't like the movies or shows where you see a wince here and there, but the man and woman both come at the same time. No, losing your virginity hurt. He made me cum, when he touched my body and licked me, but there was nothing magical about him entering me for the first, second, or third time. I didn't bled or walk funny. It just hurt like hell. He always said sorry and kissed my neck when he came without me. I knew after the third time, when it was starting to feel good, that he was very good at his job and the fourth time, I came.
Edward and I faced a whole other challenge. Our hometown. People in California and New York, where we spent a weekend to go to a Kings of Leon concert, didn't know us. These people did. So after school, and a shift at the Pizza Pit, I did my homework, ran for an hour and waited until Forks went to sleep. I snuck out when I heard Charlie snoring and ran to my boyfriend's house. I knocked twice, our code and when he opened the door I said, "Hi."