So a couple days ago I was watching a buddy of mine play a certain zombie killing computer game. While I'd thought to do a Black Lagoon based zombie fic a couple of times over the past few months, watching my buddy gun down hordes of zombies sealed the deal.
Without further ado, I do not own Black Lagoon or anything related to it, save for my fics of course ;)
"Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug!!!" The denizens of the Yellow Flag shouted.
Rokuro Okajima had spent over a year in Roanapur. Naturally, his birthday would come up sooner or later and today; Rock turned 28. In celebration, the booze was on Dutch and Revy was going to insure that the boss got his money's worth. The gunslinger and the businessman sat facing each other at the bar which was littered with empty glasses, empty bottles, and a puddle of spilt Bacardi.
Revy slammed her empty glass down onto the bar while Rock stared at his as he collected his breath.
"Ya give up?" Revy asked.
Rock's eyes clinched and he tossed the shot back, "Not a chance."
"How long are we gonna let them go for?" Benny asked the boss.
"Till the fat lady sings Benny boy. That or at least until one of'em gets alcohol poisoning." Dutch replied.
Revy grabbed a fresh bottle from Bao and ripped the cap off, spilling just about as much as she poured into their glasses. While Rock seemed to be showing signs of slowing, this next bottle brought back some of the fight in him. He tossed his arm out knocking over the glasses she had just poured.
"What the fuck are you doing ass-wipe?!" Revy asked infuriated.
"Fuck the glasses! Bao, give us another bottle."
Revy smiled, "Boy are you gonna regret this!"
Bao handed Rock another sealed bottle of Bacardi which he proceeded to rip open, the crowd cheering ever louder as he asked, "Ready?"
"Bottoms up." Revy replied.
A quarter of the alcohol drained from both bottles and near simultaneously, they paused for a breather. No one could ingest that much alcohol all at once without simply passing out. Within a few seconds, tensions between them grew higher, both of them eager to begin drinking again.
"Your ass is mine Okajima!" Revy shouted.
"Always knew you wanted a piece'a me Two-Hands!" Rock replied.
"Why you…" Just as she was about to tear him apart, he raised his bottle and opened his throat, once again downing gulp after gulp of alcohol. She quickly followed suit struggling to get more down than him.
Once again they paused for a breather although now they were both clearly suffering the effects of the alcohol.
"Dutch…" Benny asked.
"Yep, it's time." Dutch stood from the bar and said aloud, "Here we go!"
The boss lifted Revy to her feet, while the mechanic lifted Rock to his. They both put their bottles down on the bar before attempting to stand on their own; whoever fell, vomited or reached to grab hold of something first was the loser. Neither of them would ever succumb to a grab, though puking or falling was always an option. Just a few seconds in, Rock began to crumble at the knees and Revy wasn't far behind. They twisted and shifted their bodies in all manner of bizarre positions in a last ditch effort to keep their balance.
Finally, they both gave up the ghost and fell to the floor simultaneously.
"I can't believe they lasted that long." Bao said as he looked down on Revy and Rock.
Dutch chuckled, "So it takes about 4 bottles to put them down. Good to know. How much do I owe you for all this?"
"Are you kidding? Crowd they drew over here, I oughta be payin' you! This was my best night this week." The bartender replied with a smile.
"So what should we do with them?" Benny asked.
"Gimme a hand, we'll put'em upstairs for the night." Bao replied as he grabbed Rock by his wrists.
Benny, Dutch and Bao proceeded to drag Revy and Rock upstairs to a small bedroom, sure to hang them over the edge of the bed face first; if they decided to puke at least they wouldn't drown in it.
They looked on the motionless bodies of their friends with smiles on their faces.
"You don't think they need a hospital, do ya Dutch?" Benny asked.
"Nah, they'll wake up feelin' like death tomorrow but they'll be alright." Dutch replied, "C'mon Benny boy, I'll give you a lift home. 'Night Bao."
"See ya later boys." Bao replied.
The next morning, the sun shined through the cracks of the curtains bringing Revy's eyes to slowly open, only to reveal the vomit laden wooden floor of Bao's spare bedroom; good thing their friends put them down as they had.
"Ah fuck." Revy stated before letting the contents of her stomach loose once again.
Across the room, the sound of Rock vomiting caught her attention, "That you Rock?"
He spit up a couple times and replied in exhaustion, "Yeah. Yeah it's me. You okay?"
"Happy fuckin' birthday." Revy drearily replied.
Rock chuckled slightly, "Thanks."
They proceeded to slowly stand from the beds and get their bearings. Rock walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Revy followed and did the same. As she patted down her cheeks with wet hands, Rock observed her in a haze of alcohol induced euphoria.
He swayed over to her and with no warning, wrapped her face with his hands and planted a kiss on her. In a massive haze herself, she barely even reacted to his gesture.
He pulled away from her a few seconds later and through the dense fog in his brain, managed to apologize, "I'm sorry. I just know that one of these days, this city is going to kill me and I don't want to die having never done that."
Caught off guard, and not entirely sure what had happened was even real, Revy replied, "Yeah, sure don't worry about it."
It's always funny how mere words can clear your head of just about anything, "Don't worry about it? That's it?
She stared at him for a few moments in contemplation of whether or not she should kiss him back. Alas, she replied as per her usual, squashing the discussion before it turned into something more complicated, "Yeah Rock, don't fucking worry about it."
She walked towards the door, turned and offered Rock a weak smile, "C'mon, we should check in with the boss."
They slowly and carefully descended the stairs to the bar. It was empty this early in the morning, though something wasn't quite right; it was eerily quiet. Normally even this early in the morning, the sounds of Roanapur could still be heard. But as they walked towards the bar, the silence was deafening.
"You hear that?" Revy asked being more in tune with the heartbeat of Roanapur.
"Hear what?" Rock asked.
"Not a fuckin' thing. No cars, no screams, it's dead fuckin' quiet." Revy replied as they took a seat at the bar.
"Bao?" Revy called.
The proprietor of the Yellow Flag slowly stood from behind the bar with his back to his friends.
"There you are. Is something going on out there?" Revy asked.
He remained silent and motionless bringing her to quickly lose her temper, "Earth to Bao, anybody fuckin' home?"
He slowly turned to face them and all they could do was look on, frozen in fear. His skin was a pale grey, his eyes as white as the dead, and his movements incomprehensibly drawn out.
"What the fuck…" Revy asked when suddenly and without warning, the previously slow moving creature leapt across the bar, knocking her off of her stool and flat onto her back.
Sober in seconds, she forced her arms forward keeping him at a distance as he violently lashed at her, his jaw chomping at the air between them.
"ROCK!!!" Revy shouted.
Rock gained his composure, reached down and pulled him off of her, throwing him with all his might against the bar. He reached down and helped Revy to her feet, her right hand instinctively wrapping her cutlass which she racked against a table. Bao slowly got to his feet and began to advance on them.
"Revy…" Rock began only for her to cut him off, "I see it Rock."
"What the fuck is going on?" Rock asked.
"What? You've never seen 'Night of the Living Dead'?" Revy replied.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me?!" Rock shouted.
Bao began to charge at them bringing Revy to raise her gun as she quietly uttered, "Sorry Bao."
She squeezed the trigger, a 9x19 piercing his skull and ceasing his assault. They walked over to his body and knelt beside him, examining him for evidence to support Revy's theory that he was in fact undead; a zombie.
"Look at him; poor bastard's already decomposing." Revy remarked of his dark veins and grey skin.
"The pale eyes…" Rock reached down and placed a hand on his skin, "…he's even cool to the touch."
They simply knelt for a moment out of respect for their dead friend, before Rock broke the silence, "This isn't possible."
"Pretty fuckin' compelling evidence here that suggests otherwise Rock." Revy stood and ordered, "C'mon. If this means what I think it means we're about to have a long fuckin' morning."
She walked towards the door, Rock following quickly, "Where are we going?"
"Safest room in town." Revy replied as she slowly opened the door.