Anthropophagi


||Just some random idea that came to mind… an idea so incredibly screwed up I have not a clue as to why I am writing and publishing it, but, you know… I felt like writing something… and yeah… and there's always the fact that my fangirlism for some pairings lead to some very screwed up… crack-fic ideas. Yeah…

||Disclaimer: I do not own Bakugan. If I did, there definitely would have been more scenes featuring the Vexos, and I'd try to have Mira interact a bit more with the Vexos during her time with them. And likely, she would have fallen madly in love with Gus and stayed with them, and laugh cruelly as Ace's head was blown off by whatever the hell would be able to blow his head off. *deadpans*

… I am not fond of Ace…

||Implied Gus x Mira and off-to-the-side implied Shadow x Mylene, with those two, Spectra and Volt just kinda randomly there… and darling little Lync-chan in the starring role of a freaked out and very naïve child! Beware, the OOCness of it all may actually break your brain~! I know it broke mine!

||Lync gets the wrong impression (helped along by Volt) after witnessing a rather awkward scene.


"VOOOOOOOLT---!! GUS AND MIRA ARE CANNIBALS TOOOOOOOO---!!"

"…" Volt, Spectra, Shadow and Mylene all blinked simultaneously as Lync stood panting in the entrance to the room, ornate doors still swinging with his sudden arrival. He stare back with wide, frantic eyes, until Spectra finally managed to break the silence with the most literate statement he could come up with in face of this declaration. "… Hmm?"

"CANNIBALS!" Lync was bounding into the room now, waving his arms madly. "THEY WERE TRYING TO EAT EACH OTHER'S FACES OFF! IT WAS TERRIFYING!"

Shadow and Mylene shared a bemused look as Spectra stiffened suspiciously and Volt let out a soft, "Oh… are you saying you saw… Gus and Mira…?"

"I SAW THEM TRYING TO EAT EACH OTHER'S FACES!"

"… And why," Spectra said slowly, his masked gaze boring into the young boy, "would you come… to that kind of conclusion…?"

"BeCAUSE," Lync began, a panicked wail threatening to force his voice to break, "I SAW SHADOW AND MYLENE DOING THE SAME THING AND I TOLD VOLT AND HE TOLD ME THEY WERE CANNIBALS!"

At that, the two 'cannibals' in question promptly started choking on their own spit, air and protests as Spectra switched his gaze to Volt, who coughed surreptiously.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Lync shrieked, pointing a quivering finger at the failing-to-recover Darkus and Aquos brawlers. "I KNOW YOUR EVIL SECRET! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN THIS MADHOUSE OF CANNIBALS! YOU'LL NEVER EAT MEEEEEEEE---!!"

And with that, Lync spun around on his heels and dashed for the doorway… only to be stopped when a frying pan swung around the doorframe and connected soundly with his face.

The frying pan fell to Gus' side as the blue-haired boy carefully stepped into full view, glowering down at Lync as he crumpled to the floor as Mira appeared at his side, twitching and fidgeting nervously. He looked up, an apprehensive, guarded expression on his face. Strangely enough, he couldn't look Spectra in the eye... "… Lync is very sick… he's deranged… and having delusions… I wouldn't listen to a thing he says… if I were you… I'll just… take him to the hospital wing…"

"And I'll help!" Mira said hurriedly, bending down to slip her hands under Lync's shoulders as Gus went for the feet. "Eh heh… the poor thing, he's… you know… very sick… and all…"

"Ugh…" Lync's eyes fluttered open, and he lifted his head groggily… to find himself being carried away. "Ah… NO! NO! SOMEONE, SAVE MEEEEEEE! THEY WANT TO EAT ME, CAN'T YOU SEE THE FRYING PAN?! THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME, DON'T LET THEM EAT ME, I WANNA LIIIIIIIIIIIVE---!!"

"… Cannibalism?" Spectra asked dully as they listened to Lync's fading screams as he was being whisked away. "… Really?"

"He's a kid. I couldn't tell him about how his colleagues were making out with other colleagues," Volt explained bluntly, sending Shadow and Mylene into another spaz/coughing fit. "It seemed like the least harmful explanation at the time…"

"… I think you just made things worse…"

"… I think I did…"

"…"

"Are you going to have Gus brutally murdered now?"

"Yes."

"… Okay."


||Now, did I say it was OOC, or did I say it was OOC? Very short… but hey, it is nothing but a silly little oneshot that I wrote in celebration of being so good with my NaNoWriMo. Ah yes… very proud I am… the story itself is a piece of crap, but it's all good for as long as I get my word count…