*The Vicious Cycle*
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters you recognize from the HP books in this story. All I own is the plot. Everything else belongs to JK Rowling.
Full Summary: TPG/TPW Universe. Oneshot. Little Hailene is very curious about something and decides to ask some of the Malfoy males in the Manor a very important question.
A/N: Just a short little plot-bunny that hit me the other day. I just had to write it! Heehee. Enjoy!
Malfoy Manor Dining Room
Byron Malfoy was right in the middle of sipping his coffee one fine morning when a soft, curious voice broke his thoughts, causing him to look up in surprise. He was met with the sight of one adorably confused 9-year-old Hailene Antoinette Potter Malfoy – who at that moment was peering up at him with wide, silver eyes from where she was standing just at the end of the long dining room table. The little girl already looked so astonishingly like her mother that Byron had to blink several times to make sure he wasn't staring into a miniaturized, blonde version of Harry herself.
Grinning and beckoning the little girl over, Byron set his cup of coffee back down onto the table before pulling her up onto his lap, leaning down and playfully ruffling her blonde pigtails.
"What's eating you, baby girl…? You look like you've got something deep in your mind."
Unsure of what exactly he meant, Hailene just frowned up at him before hugging her porcelain doll tighter to her chest. She shifted slightly against him before biting her lip and looking up again.
"Uncle Byron…How do I make babies?"
The drops of coffee that had just entered Byron's mouth were eventually spat right out onto the floor as the metamorphagus nearly keeled over and stared in shock at Hailene's innocently peering face again. It took Byron several gasping moments to compose himself before he finally managed to clear his throat and stare back at her, his jaw slightly agape in a shocked, bewildered expression.
Hailene's face creased into a small scowl and she glared accusingly at him before pointing to the two dolls she was hugging to her chest. "Garrett and Gabriel said that they already know how babies are made…I want to learn how babies are made too so I can make my dolls have a baby. Can I do that, Uncle Byron? How do I make babies, will you teach me? Is it like a magical spell?"
Byron nearly begins choking on his own breaths again before forcing out a nervous laugh and leaning back shakily against the backrest of his seat. "U—uhm…Hailene…I really think you're asking the wrong person, here…Uhm…I wouldn't really know about this either. Hehe…" He gulped loudly and reached up to wipe the beads of sweat that were beginning to gather along his eyebrow.
Hailene's scowl darkens and she glares accusingly up at him in disbelief.
"But…why? Don't you know how to make babies, Uncle Byron?"
Again, Byron let out another nervous laugh and unknown to him, his dark hair was already strangely beginning to alternate into several bright colors because of his growing agitation.
"Er…I know how it's done, Hailene but…Let's just say…I was never too fond of the process?"
Hailene blinks at him for a couple of time before offering him a bright, angelic smile.
"Then what is the process, Uncle Byron? Where do babies come from?"
"Why do you want to know about this so much, Hailene…?"
"I think I want a new baby sister too!"
Finally succumbing and inwardly telling himself to give up this losing battle, Byron gave the blonde little girl one last smile before he nervously set her back down on her feet onto the floor. When she continued to look up at his tall frame, the metamorphagus slowly began to walk towards the door.
"Ehehe…Uhm…Why don't you go ask your Uncle Anton, Hale…?"
Before Hailene could say anything else, Byron was already racing out of the dining room.
Malfoy Manor Kitchens
"Uncle Anton…? Do you know the process that makes babies?"
Blinking and halfheartedly smirking as he glanced up from the fresh batch of Crème Brulee he had just finished making, Anton Malfoy's eyebrow arched up as he looked into the tiny, approaching figure of Hailene Malfoy not too far away. The 9-year-old had just entered the kitchens through the back door and was now peering up at him with wide, innocent eyes, an adorable smile on her face.
Feigning a sigh and wiping his hands on a nearby towel, Anton promptly removed the chef's hat from his – amazingly enough – still perfectly styled blonde hair and turned around to face her.
"Well…Hailene…I certainly can't say that I'm…unfamiliar…with the process." His strange response brought a smirk of amusement to his own lips and a frown of confusion onto Hailene's face.
"So you do know the process, Uncle Anton?"
Anton's lips twitched in mirth. "Yes, I believe so…Why the strange question, Hailene?"
Sighing in growing exasperation, the 9-year-old pouted slightly as she slinked over to him and pulled herself up to sit onto the stool just behind the kitchen counters.
"Well…Uncle Anton, will you help my Mommy make a baby?"
This time, Anton really had to bite back a laugh as he turned around again and gave Hailene a wry grin. He shook his head in amusement when he saw her feet dangling in mid-air from where she sat on the stool. "Oh believe me, Hailene…I have thought about the idea in the past but I hardly think your father would appreciate me doing that…In fact, I'm willing to bet he'd have my head."
Hailene blinked to herself a couple of times before she looked up again and frowned at him.
Anton stared right back at her, fusing his eyebrows as he tried to figure out what to say.
"Well…Let's just say because…Only married people can make a baby."
Hailene nodded in understanding a couple of times before smiling at him again.
"So Uncle Vincent and Uncle Byron can make a baby?"
Anton cringed at this and reached up to wipe the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.
"Why not? They're married!"
Anton was uncomfortably silent for a very long moment.
"………It's hard to explain."
Hailene's eyes began to narrow ands she scowled angrily at him.
"But I want to KNOW!!!!"
Anton blanched and finally began to back away from her, taking his newly made Crème Brulee and placing it gingerly back into the magical food storage pantry area. As he did this, Hailene continued to glare at his back until he finally relented and began to choose his words carefully again.
"Hailene…Babies don't just come from…thin air. They…They come from…something."
"So where do babies come from then…?"
At her persistent words, Anton finally sighed and turned around just as he had finished cleaning up the different plates and ingredients all around the kitchen with a single flick of his wand.
"They come from a…Mommy and a Daddy… A man and a woman."
Hailene's eyes widen in surprise and she grins up at him in growing interest.
For another long series of awkward moments, Anton could do nothing but stare at her in dismay. Finally realizing he had lost this one and that he had better run away while he still had the chance, the half-veela cringed to himself and hastily began to walk out of the room.
"Perhaps you should ask your great Grandfather, Hailene."
Malfoy Manor Living Room
"Great Granddaddy…? Where do babies come from?"
Slowly setting his expensive, lacquered black pipe back down onto the elegant coffee table in front of him, Lawrence Malfoy looked up and stared blankly at the angelic face of Hailene Malfoy, watching silently as the pig-tailed 9-year-old walked into the living room later that same day.
She smiled brightly and expectantly at him, blinking several times with her long lashes. Lawrence looked silently at her for a long moment, his own silver eyes blank and devoid of any emotions whatsoever. Finally, he blinked once before calmly dropping his eyes to the book in his lap.
"……From the stork."
Hailene pouted impatiently at his flippant response and sauntered over to him, jumping up onto the couch beside him and scooting closer so that she could lean her head down onto his shoulder.
"But Great Granddaddy! That's not what Uncle Anton said! Where does the stork get the baby?"
Lawrence refused to look up from his book and simply took another puff from his pipe.
"……From the baby maker."
Hailene's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and she glared for a long time at his stoic expression. "But then…Who makes the babies, Great Granddaddy? Who's the baby maker?"
"…A father and a mother."
Frowning even more, Hailene began to pout and crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest.
"But…That's just what Uncle Anton said! I'm confused… YOU just said that the stork brings the babies to the father and a mother…You're not telling me the truth, Great Granddaddy!" She huffed, her voice sounding so innocently confused and accusatory that Lawrence finally looked up at her.
He remained completely silent, however, and just gave her another blank stare.
"I made a mistake…The father and the mother make the baby. There is no stork."
Hailene's face brightened and she scooted over to lean her head against his arm again.
"How do they make a baby then, Great Granddaddy? Do they wish for the baby and it just…POOF! Appears? Just like all those pretty magic spells Mommy and Daddy do all the time?"
Lawrence's only answer was to turn a page of his book.
Hailene was slowly beginning to pout at Lawrence again.
"But…I hear Mommy shouting at Daddy all the time that she doesn't want another baby and that he'd better not get her 'preg-plant' again…Great Granddaddy, what's pregplant? How does a Mommy get pregplant? When will my Mommy get pregplant again? Will she? Will she?"
By the time Hailene had finished her series of questions; Lawrence had already gathered his pipe, his books and was already beginning to leave the living room in a calm and awkward silence.
"………Go ask your Grandfather, Hailene."
Malfoy Manor Libraries
Lucius Malfoy was right in the middle of going through some interesting historical readings bound together near the very end of the manor libraries that afternoon. A small voice out of nowhere had suddenly startled him, nearly causing him to drop the books he held as he whirled around.
At the sight of the adorable, blonde pig-tailed little girl giggling and smiling innocently up at him from the floor, Lucius instantly relaxed and rolled his eyes. He managed a weak smirk as he reached down and acknowledged his granddaughter by giving her blonde hair an affectionate ruffle.
"Yes, dearest…? What are you doing in here…? Shouldn't you be playing with your cousins?"
Undaunted, Hailene shook her head at his question and watched curiously as Lucius turned around again and began sorting through more ancient looking textbooks and spellbooks that were hidden in the very corner of the library. Sensing her hesitation, Lucius gave her an expectant look.
"Yes, darling…? What is it you want…?"
His words instantly caused Hailene to relax and she grinned at him, bouncing over so she could attach herself to his left hand. She tugged on it several times to get him to look down at her.
"Grandfather…How does a Mommy get pregplant?"
The spellbooks Lucius was so carefully balancing in his hands ended up toppling back to the carpeted floor. He gaped at her, his silver eyes immediately going as wide and round as saucers.
"I beg your pardon, Hailene?"
Hailene stared at him in similar confusion before she sighed and scowled impatiently to herself as she hugged the dolls in her arms closer to her chest. "You know…Pregplant? Great Granddaddy and Uncle Anton say that only a Mommy and a Daddy can make a baby…And I heard Mommy and Daddy talking about getting pregplant…Grandfather, what does being pregplant mean?"
Lucius chose not to answer her as he bent down and began to gather the fallen books back into his hands. When she continued to stare at him, he bent his head low and made sure to keep himself from meeting her similar pair of silver orbs for fear of having to answer her question.
When after several more seconds, Hailene was still staring expectantly at him, Lucius finally sighed and he stood back up, smirking helplessly as he met her frowning expression in amusement.
"Hailene…Why don't you go to your room and play with your dolls? I'm sure a lot of them are getting lonely without you there…Go on and be a good little girl okay? Perhaps I'll buy you more dolls."
Unfortunately, his words only made Hailene's scowl deepen even more and she began stomping her feet on the ground when Lucius had deliberately refused to answer her question.
"But I don't WANT more dolls! I want a new baby sister!! How are babies made, grandfather? How does a Mommy get pregplant? Can Mommy get pregplant again soon? I want a new baby!"
Lucius was cringing as he hurriedly made his way through the maze of bookshelves around them, sighing in exasperation when he heard his granddaughter's small footsteps hurrying along right after him. As soon as they had reached the very entrance of the library, he turned around again and finally gave up as he shook his head and rewarded her with a weak but otherwise amused smirk.
"Hailene…A Mommy needs a certain...gift…from a Daddy…In order to make a baby."
His words instantly caused the 9-year-old's eyes to sparkle in keen interest and she smiled brightly at him, bouncing up and down and giggling as she hugged her dolls tighter to her chest.
"Oooh…Like a birthday gift or present? What kind of gift, grandfather? Can it be a doll? Or a necklace? If I ask my Daddy to give my Mommy a gift, then I can have a little sister?"
Lucius was still smirking as he adjusted the spellbooks in his arms and slowly walked out of the library, leaving his wide-eyed granddaughter staring expectantly at his retreating back.
"Maybe…You should ask your father."
Malfoy Manor Head Office
Half-asleep after having stared at a dozen boring reports for the last hour, Draco Malfoy blinked up blearily from his desk in surprise. An identical pair of wide silver eyes met his own from where Hailene was peering through the ajar door of his open office. Draco's lips quirked upwards and he chuckled, reaching up and slowly removing the silver reading frames that adorned his face.
Beckoning his daughter into the room, he carefully set his expensive quill and glasses carefully back down onto his table and leaned back comfortably against the headrest of his seat.
"What can I do for you, Princess…? Do you want anything…?"
Smiling and giggling happily at her father's use of her favorite endearment, Hailene shook her head and hurried over to pull herself up onto his lap. Draco chuckled at her antics and leaned down briefly to drop a kiss onto her mane of blonde hair before turning his attention back to his work.
Draco had slipped his reading glasses back on and his attention was back on his work when Hailene had spoken up again. Hugging her dolls tighter in hesitation, she finally leaned back against her father's chest and tilted her head up slowly so she could peer up into his serious expression.
"Daddy…Can you give Mommy a gift…?"
Drawn in by her strange question, Draco set his quill back down onto the table again and raised an eyebrow in confusion. He peered down at Hailene's bright silver eyes again and gave her a bewildered look before reaching for the cup of coffee on his table and taking a small, languid sip.
"And what kind of gift would that be, Princess…? Why would you ask for something like that? Did your mother say anything about a gift she wanted? Is that why you're asking me?" He asked, looking at his daughter again but Hailene just giggled and shook her head, giving him an angelic smile.
"Grandfather says…That a Daddy has to give a Mommy a certain…gift…in order for a Mommy to get pregplant and make a baby! Can you give Mommy a gift, Daddy? I want a new baby! I want a new baby sister! Can I, Daddy? Can I have a new baby sister—" She stopped talking and frowned when she realized that her father was no longer listening to her and was now choking on his drink.
Draco was still in shock and was still gasping for oxygen as he tried to answer her.
"H—Hail—Hailene…Wh—who told you—"
Hailene blinked innocently at him in confusion, waiting until her father had finally managed to clear his throat enough for him to speak. As soon as he was able to regain the use of his voice, Draco let out a strangled sound and gave Hailene a thoroughly scandalized look of shocked dismay.
"Hailene…Where in…Merlin's name did you hear something like THAT?"
At her father's cracking voice and the way he was obviously trying hard not to keep his voice from shaking, Hailene scratched her head cutely and tilted her head to the side with a slight shrug.
"Well…I asked Uncle Byron how babies were made…And he said there was a process…And when I asked him what that was, he told me to go and ask Uncle Anton to explain…"
Draco took another long drink from his coffee before nodding hastily at her.
Hailene began to pout up at him again in her growing impatience. "And then when I asked Uncle Anton…He said that a Mommy and Daddy make a baby…And then when I asked him how…He told me to go and ask Great Granddaddy to explain it to me. So I looked for him and I did!"
Draco stifled his laughter as he imagined the look on his grandfather's face.
"And he said that a Mommy and Daddy wish for a baby and then she can get pregplant. And when I asked him what pregplant means, he told me to go and ask Grandfather to explain it."
Draco sighed and buried his head in his hands. "And then…?"
Hailene scowled at him, crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a demanding glare.
"And then grandfather said that a Daddy needs to give a Mommy a special gift in order for her to get pregplant! Daddy! I want a new baby! Can you gift Mommy a gift already, Daddy? Can you? Here, you can give her my dolls as a gift! I want a new baby sister! Please, Daddy? Pleeeease?"
Unfortunately, Hailene failed to notice the way her father was blanching as he sighed and began to massage his aching temples in a mixture of helpless exasperation and amusement.
"Hailene…I'm afraid that things are…Not that simple." He stopped and looked extremely uncomfortable as he turned to face her, swallowing audibly just as he began to choose his next words. "A baby…Well…I suppose we can say that a baby comes from inside a Mommy…"
His words immediately caused Hailene's eyebrows to rise up in shock confusion and she stared at him as though he had just said something similar to pigs and horses being able to fly.
"H—huh? But…Why does the baby come from inside a Mommy, Daddy…?
Draco cringed to himself and forced a nonchalant expression on his face he answered her.
"Because the baby…grows…inside a Mommy…"
Suddenly interested, Hailene hopped off his lap and stood on the floor in front of his chair. Giving him a wide, curious smile, she jumped several times and tugged impatiently onto his sleeves.
"Is that what being pregplant means, Daddy…? How does a baby get into the Mommy…?
At this point, Draco was looking extremely uncomfortable and he was trying very hard not to redden as he gulped audibly and tried to force himself to answer Hailene's innocent question.
"I suppose…You could say that a Daddy…'plants' the baby into a Mommy?"
Unknown to him, the Head of the Malfoy family was beginning to break out into a cold sweat. Fortunately, his daughter didn't seem to notice this and just continued to peer up at him with wide, curious eyes – her angelic expression changing from one of confusion to that of keen, genuine interest.
"Oooh…I see…Will it hurt Mommy, Daddy…? How does a Daddy 'plant' a baby into a Mommy?"
Draco stared at her for a long time and eventually, an awkward silence fell upon his entire office when Hailene continued to stare right back at him – clearly demanding a reasonable answer. When after several more minutes had passed and Hailene was still staring expectantly at him, Draco snatched his reading glasses back off his table, shoved them onto his face and looked back down.
"Go ask your Uncle Byron, Princess…"
Malfoy Manor Courtyard
"Uncle Byron…? How does a Daddy 'plant' a baby into a Mommy…?"
Byron couldn't help smirking weakly as he tore his gaze from the courtyard fountain and found himself – once again – staring into Hailene's innocently curious expression several feet away from him.
"…………Go ask your Uncle Anton, Hailene."
A/N: Hale should really consider asking a woman these things, eh…? I have NO idea what inspired me to write this. Just seemed like a cute idea… *giggles* Hope you all enjoyed that! If some of you have any more suggestions or requests for oneshots involving the TPG/TPW universe, just let me know. I'd love to hear all your suggestions and ideas! Cheers! :D