A/N: This is a repost after I took it down for like two months so I hope it gets a better reaction than it did before. So I was watching Pleasantville for the first time in like forever, and I just got this idea and I think its one of the better one-shots I've done. You can just read it and it will make sense, but it will make a lot more sense if you see the movie. You can tell that I've sort of ripped off some of the scenes, but not too badly.
Summary: She wasn't supposed to want the wild side. She wasn't supposed to have those deep desires of flesh on flesh and blood thrumming like a primal drum. So she pretended she didn't and no one was the wiser. No one except one.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Rights go to Gossip Girl and the quotes and general idea goes to the awesomeness that is Pleasantville.
Where am I gonna see colors like that? You've got to be pretty lucky to see colors like that.
They spend an hour in the back of some car and all of a sudden they're in Technicolor?
I don't know. Maybe its not just the sex.
-Bud and Mary Sue
You'll put on some make-up. It will go away.
I don't want it to go away.
-George and Betty
There are so many things that are so much better. Like silly, or sexy, or dangerous. Or grief. And every one of those things is in you all the time if you just have the guts to look for them.
Chuck Bass was always colored. Everyone knew it. Everyone saw it. Everyone was intimidated by it. He was full of colors that some of us could only dream of possessing. He had the scarlets and the hazels. And onyx.
No one saw it that way. They were scared of him. He wasn't like everyone else. Everyone else just had the whites and the blacks and the grays.
He didn't care. He never cared what other people thought of him. He would cruise by their gray cars in his violent red one and they would just stare. He was wild. No one knew the things that he did. They didn't have a name for them. He was so full of life that he was frightening.
Blair Waldorf saw him. She would look at him and secretly wanted what he had. She wished she knew what it was like not to be gray all the time. She wanted to have the scarlets and the hazels. She even wanted the onyx. It was deep, it was brutal, and it was beautiful. Onyx wasn't black. It was just...onyx. No one really knew how to describe it. No one knew how to define Chuck Bass, either.
This was all a secret, of course. Blair had her perfect boyfriend and her graceful best friend. They were draped in the normalcy of black and white and that's all there was to it. She wasn't supposed to want the wild side. She wasn't supposed to have those deep desires of flesh on flesh and blood thrumming like a primal drum. So she pretended she didn't and no one was the wiser.
No one except one.
People were prejudiced against Chuck. Nate wasn't smart enough to be. He knew proper manners and he knew that people didn't like Chuck very much. But he didn't know why. So they were friends even though Nate got the feeling that there just wasn't something right. He knew Chuck was different than him and his girlfriend. Than his girlfriend's friend. But he didn't know what it was. That was why he was Chuck's only friend. Everyone else just didn't understand him.
Blair allowed this because she couldn't understand either. She knew that he was different. She knew why she was different. What she didn't know was what was so enigmatic about him. She couldn't comprehend why she had the feeling that she had to be around him. Like he sustained her and gave her oxygen. She allowed it, but only for her own selfish reasons. She wished she knew what those selfish reasons were.
There were times when he would turn his hot and penetrating dark gaze on her and she would feel something burn within her. Something would ignite and the embers would glow. This confused her more. She would look down and her heart shaped ring was suddenly a ruby, blood red. Her heart would skip and when she looked at it again, it was gone. It was back to gray.
She would look up and there he would be, gazing at her curiously like she was something fascinating that he had to figure out. He would look away and she wished he hadn't. She wished that she could drown forever in those eyes of his. But she couldn't understand why.
She watched him sift his flesh colored hand through his auburn locks. She looked at her reflection. Her locks were dark like his. They didn't have that fragmented light that Nate and Serena's did. But they didn't have the color either.
She looked over. He wasn't saying anything. The rest of the gray girls would talk to him. Maybe they wouldn't want to, but they did anyway. It was his eyes. Those slanting, smoldering, dark, exotic eyes of his. They pulled you in. They hypnotized and mesmerized and Blair wished she knew what made him tick. What made them do that. Because she was afraid if she looked into them for too long, she would be lost too.
He would reel them and ensnare them to the back of his car. But when they emerged, they were still the dull gray that they always were. They didn't change colors like Blair had heard of happening. She wanted a closer look. She wanted to know. She just... wanted to know. She felt magnetized to him because he radiated of knowledge. He talked of human anatomy and how to manipulate it. He knew the outside world and what went on there. Maybe he would know why she felt so empty.
"I see you looking."
His voice would never cease to send chills up her spine. She ran a hand over the forearm that had sudden bumps over it. She didn't know what it was but she had no doubt who caused it.
"I see you looking when no one else is watching," he said walking from behind her where he was hiding. "What is so interesting about me, princess?"
"You tell me."
He didn't. He never did. He just stared. She was his puzzle and she just wished he would put her all together finally. She almost wished that he would move on so she could too. She wanted to see the end. But with him, there was no end in sight. And that terrified and excited her all at the same time.
He was leering at her body in that lewd way he always did. She wished sometimes that he would treat her like all the other girls. Then she wouldn't feel so out of place, so different. Then she wouldn't have to wonder if there was something truly wrong with her.
His eyes stilled on her hand and he smiled. It wasn't really a smile at all, actually. One side of his mouth just seemed to curl up sardonically like an inside joke. No one smiled like he did. No one smirked.
"Looks like I don't have to."
Blair followed the trail of his eyes to her hand. There, resting on her finger was one ruby, heart shaped stone. She gasped. Chuck took a hold of her fingers, drawing them up to the light so it sparkled.
It wasn't going away this time. It contrasted so greatly to the gray that adorned her hand. To her white fingernails and pasty complexion.
"What is it?" she asked, mesmerized by its great and terrible beauty.
"That's what they call red, princess," he told her. "Real red."
She looked into his moving eyes. She was right. He was giving her knowledge. Maybe she shouldn't leave him. She didn't want to. He was just different. She liked that about him. Especially when she shouldn't.
Blair looked over her shoulder to her boyfriend's good natured face. She was about to go to him when she realized Chuck's fingers were still closed around hers. He was studying her again. She looked over at Nate who's brow was furrowed in confusion at the interaction. Blair was confused as well.
"Goodbye, Chuck," she said quietly. He dragged his eyes from the heart that was never separated from her finger. He laid a tender kiss to it and let her go gently.
He let her go. For the first time. For the last time.
When Blair woke up, she was disappointed. She was relieved. But her ring was still that frightening "red" color. And she was still gray. She was still with Nate. She still wasn't different.
More and more she caught him looking her the way that she would look at him. Like he wanted to drink her in, consume her and know what she was really about. He still lured women to the back of his car. That she couldn't understand. Maybe there was no one that was really like him. No one was colored. She was the closest. But not close enough.
Maybe she wanted to be.
When they met again, he took her hand for the second time. They never did things like this but the dynamic between them was obviously changing. It was confusing. He confused her. Her whole world confused her. He wasn't helping.
He laid his lips to her ring again which still shone brightly as the day she noticed it. Nate didn't like it. He didn't say anything. He never said anything. But she could tell. It was the small moments when he would looked confusedly at her hand or at the exchanges that were happening more and more frequently between her and Chuck. It didn't make sense. None of it did anymore.
Blair pulled her hand away gently from his grasp. Who knew what other things he could bestow on her? It was in her humble opinion it was contagious. How else would it spread like that? She thought maybe she was scared. But she also thought that she was easily influenced by people she wanted to believe in.
She wanted to stay with him. She thought that maybe he knew that too. It was the reason he would sit next to her in the diners and offer to drive her places when Nate was unavailable. Nate couldn't be ignorant forever. Because the more often that Chuck did these things, the more Nate would drag her away. She knew he was beginning to see. Chuck saw things in people and his surroundings that were invisible to the naked eye. Nate didn't like that. He liked simplicity. And the more his girlfriend was hanging around his best friend, that wasn't happening. She was getting more and more complicated and it didn't make any sense.
"I have to go," she told Chuck, letting her hand drop to her side.
"Sure you do," Chuck replied. She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he didn't essentially share her opinion on this front. She turned to leave when he caught her arm. She pulled away in surprise. They didn't touch each other like this and they didn't feel like this. She looked down where his skin scorched hers. It was as dull as ever. But his shone brightly like a million stars.
"You don't have to leave with him," he said instead.
"I don't understand," she admitted.
"You don't feel it?" he asked interestedly. "Don't you feel like there's something more? Like you can be more? Don't you want to know if there's more to this life?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Sure you do," he said in that way again. "I know you feel it."
"I don't feel anything," she told him honestly. He took a step back as though he were accepting her answer. That would have made everything so much easier. It also would have made her life obsolete.
He lunged forward swiftly, taking her head in his hands and pressed his lips feverishly to hers. For a moment, she thought she had imploded. She couldn't understand what was happening to her body. She was simply humming. His hot lips were setting her on fire and she never wanted it to end. He pulled away with satisfaction. She gasped at the sensation. He was right. She did want more. But she couldn't want more. That was the difference.
"Goodbye, Chuck," she said soberly again.
He smirked. "We'll see."
She turned and went to Nate. Like she always did. It was different this time. Nate was staring at her in shock.
"What is it?" Blair asked. "Is something wrong?"
"What happened?" Nate asked. He put up his hand like he was about to touch her face then drew back instantly as if repulsed. She turned to look at her reflection in his car window. There it was. In one moment, someone had changed her life forever. And it wasn't her boyfriend.
Blair put her hands to the lips that were now the same shade as her ring. Her lips were red. Real red. All because of something that he knew and he had done not minutes ago. She looked into the distance and there he was. Chuck smiled at her. Nate didn't like it.
"What happened?" he asked again dumbly.
"I don't know," she stuttered.
"You can fix it can't you?" he asked.
"You..." Blair said. "You don't like it?"
"No," Nate said instantly. "You look... you look like--"
"Chuck?" Blair asked.
That's when it hit Nate. Chuck really was different. Maybe he was special. But he wasn't Blair. He couldn't be. She was changing right in front of his eyes and he didn't know why.
"You can change it," he said sternly and walked off.
Blair didn't know why, but she wanted to please him. She didn't want to make her boyfriend unhappy. She did was she was asked. She did what she was told. She obeyed orders.
It wasn't Nate asking this time. It wasn't complete awe or confusion. It was anger. Blair suddenly got the scarlet that adorned Chuck like privilege. He was passion. He was fire. He was fury.
"Nothing," Blair shrugged past him. This time he wasn't shy about touching her. He pulled her arm to him and she stumbled. He caught her chin in his hand and he examined her lips. She couldn't understand the thrill she got from that. She didn't want to.
"You let him do that to you," he whispered savagely. "You let him suffocate you."
Blair tried to squirm away.
"This is who I am," Blair said.
"No," Chuck said coldly. "No. This is who you are."
He had reached out and grabbed a napkin. She tried to get away but he wouldn't let her. He put it to her lips and rubbed away the gray lipstick where she tried to muffle her true nature. "You shouldn't have to hide yourself from the world. You're perfect the way you are."
"Stop," she whispered. She couldn't be real with him. She just couldn't do it. She was scared.
"Why?" he asked. Their faces were millimeters apart. She couldn't ignore him and he definitely wasn't ignoring her. He bent and their lips met again. This time it wasn't to teach her a lesson or show her something about herself. He was showing himself something.
They pulled away and her skin felt hot. She felt uncomfortable inside her own flesh.
"There," he said. "That's better."
"You like me this way?" Blair asked, putting her fingertips to her reddened lips.
"Who wouldn't?" asked.
Nate wouldn't. And he knew that.
"I thought you fixed it."
Blair didn't bother fixing herself for Nate. Her ring and lips shone brighter than ever. She saw the looks people gave her when she walked down the street. And she saw the distaste in Nate's cold, gray eyes. For some reason, she wondered what his true eye color would be. She would never know. With Chuck, she didn't have to guess. She knew what he was. And she knew who she was.
"I like it," Blair said strongly. "I'm keeping it."
"Why?" Nate asked incredulously. "Do you want people to stare at you? Do you want them to know that you're different?"
"Maybe I am different," Blair said. "Did you ever think of that?"
Nate sighed. "Don't worry. We can fix this. Just put some make-up on. It will go away."
For the first time, Blair really looked at him. And she pitied him.
"I don't want it to go away."
When she saw Chuck again, she could see the admiration in his eyes. It wasn't just because Nate wasn't trailing behind her like a lost puppy anymore. And it wasn't only her natural lips. When the sun hit her hair, it wasn't just dark nothingness. She could finally give a name to her hair. It was chocolate. It shone when the sun hit it and she didn't care what people would say when they watched her walk down the street. Even if her skin was still gray, her hair wasn't. She knew this when he looked upon her again.
"What?" she asked.
"Your eyes," Chuck said again. "They're like... obsidian pools. They're brown. Like your hair. Like mine."
Blair put her hands to her face. She hadn't even noticed. She hadn't noticed she was changing colors right before everyone's eyes.
"You're beautiful," he told her.
"I don't know how to be," she said honestly. He took her hand again. This time, for good.
"I'll show you."
Blair decided that she liked the shade of his car. It matched her. It matched her heart. He fiddled with the radio as they cruised down the road.
"No Nathaniel," Chuck finally said conversationally.
"I left him."
He looked into her eyes again. "I know."
That chill ran up her arms again. She looked down. She was still gray. There seemed to be a glow about her complexion, though. Maybe she wasn't pasty like she previously assumed, but porcelain.
She couldn't describe it, but she knew something was coming. The drove under the trees and Blair looked up. And she couldn't look away. She could feel Chuck's encouraging smile. She knew she was coming. She was making her descent into what she had heard other's refer to as Hades' Underworld. But all she saw was colors. All she saw was beauty. All she saw was she never wanted to leave.
Maybe that's what it was. Maybe she was Persephone and she had already eaten the pomegranate. But it didn't matter. Because this was where she was and this was where she would stay.
The petals descended prettily from the leaning trees. They landed softly in her hair, caressing her with their pink softness. She pulled one gingerly from her brown locks and examined it.
"Its beautiful," she murmured.
"It is," he agreed. She looked over and he wasn't looking at the petal at all. He finally pulled up and parked where there seemed to be an endless see of green blades as though she had never seen before.
"What is this place?"
"Its where we're meant to be," he said simply.
The moon was even more beautiful than it seemed back where she was from. Back everything was pleasant and gray. Back where everything was the same. She put her hand on the door beside her. Already, her nails were a vibrant scarlet. She was already changing and he was looking at her like there was nothing else in the world that could ever be as perfect as her.
She didn't know how long they were sitting before he was gazing at her in that sultry way that reminded her of the things he inspired in her. He made her feel things she wasn't even aware existed. She knew now that she could never go back. And no one could ever make her.
"You are... amazing," he said like it was the most honest truth he had ever experienced. Then she was looking at him. Really looking. She knew that no one really ever saw him. But now, there wasn't really anything that was wrong with him. He was perfect. She could see through the colors that he wasn't any different than the rest of them. He wasn't any different, but he was just better.
That's when her ruby lips descended on his, taking him, for the first time in his life, by surprise. He trapped her head instantly with his hands pulling her across the seat. He buried his fingers in her wild locks, delving deeper and deeper into her mouth.
Then he felt it. He gasped, wrenching his hand away as though he had been burned just by mere surprise by the sudden heat. Color was blooming across her chest. It spread across her neck, down her arms to her hands and covered her face with its beauty. He gazed at her. He had never seen a woman so colorful before. He tentatively brought his hand to her chest again. Her flesh was scorching. It was burning him alive and he wanted to jump right into the fire. He brushed her hair from her face.
"You are so beautiful."
She looked in the rear view mirror. She put her hands to her face as though it wasn't even real.
"What's happening?" she asked breathlessly. He brought his hands to her face again, and tilted her chin so he could see into her eyes.
"Do you see?" he asked. "Do you see now what you've been missing?"
"I'm scared," she confessed.
"Its okay," he vowed. Her fingers found their way to his chest, to the buttons on his shirt. Her lips moved greedily over his again and he took her to him. He leaned her back on the seat, hovering over her. And suddenly, she wasn't scared anymore.
Blair didn't know how long it had been. All she knew was that this was how things were supposed to be. Her clothing wasn't barring her way anymore. She was covered in his scent as his damp flesh was pressed against hers. They stared up at the stars.
Suddenly, she felt something drop on her nose and she sat up quickly. She felt this warm hand on her spine comfortingly.
"What is it?" he asked. She felt it again, this time on her shoulder. She pulled his jacket over her shoulders, trying to shelter herself from it. He looked up at the sky and smiled. Then it started pouring down. In a sudden spasm of fear, she wrapped her arms around his waist, hiding in his skin.
"What is it?" she whispered.
"Rain," he said gently.
"Rain?" she asked skeptically. "Real rain?"
She held closer to him.
"Here, I'll show you."
He pulled away and hopped over the door of the car into the now wet grass. She stared at him in his unbuttoned shirt and wrinkled pants. His hair was getting matted down by the moisture in the air. He held out his hand for her. She slowly removed herself form the interior of the car and joined him.
"Don't be afraid," he told her. "Everything is going to be alright."
"Are you afraid?" he asked. She slowly straightened.
"No," she answered honestly. "I'm not afraid anymore."
I'm with you now.
They sat back in the car as he kissed her fervently. She now liked the reds and the scarlets. It warmed her when she was afraid. This was new territory and she wasn't going to be afraid any longer. They lived in their world of color while the rest wallowed in gray.
She knew how to be now. She watched how the rest couldn't understand them. She was colored like him and no one understood. No one knew Chuck Bass the way she did. The rest lived in their white, black, and gray. Chuck and Blair loved in color.