Well, well, well, it certainly has been quite some time since I posted a story here. It's been a bit weird too since I'm use to posting something that resembles writing. At least now ya'll know I'm still alive and kicking.
And now, once again I bring to you a work thought up by the combined minds of Ms. Videl Son, dbz-lover91, and myself. This is a story that's been sitting on the backburner for quite sometime but finally has made its debut. Though this will be a short story compared to my usual works, we had this planned out just the way we liked it.
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the latest insanity to grace the pages of ffn.
It was the most dangerous substance to grace the halls of Orange Star High. Its victims numbered in the millions, if not billions. No one knew if they would be next on this silent killer's death list.
And it was for this reason that Sharpner signed the petition before him. Pen, the nerd that sat in front of him, had been running around the class, persuading people to stand up against the ever deadly dihydrogen monoxide. One could never sleep without danger looming on the horizon.
Don't get him wrong, Sharpner didn't always pay attention to nerds; it was just that Pen had made such a compelling argument against this dihydrogen monoxide. He also felt that he needed to help this sap just this once, especially since he could be next in line to die. "Erasa," he addressed the blonde girl two seats down, "I need you to sign this."
Erasa looked at the petition that was pushed to her. "What is it?"
"It's a petition to rid our school of dihydrogen monoxide. It's a very deadly compound that's just waiting to kill us adults," the jock explained, though he was just repeating what Pen had told him. Hey, just cause the blond wasn't smart didn't mean he couldn't say big words; they just tended to hurt his head when he did.
Just a small price to pay to save his friends.
However, there was a small roadblock in his noble cause: the ultimate nerd aka Son Gohan. "Umm, Erasa, I don't think you'd want to sign that thing."
The blonde girl looked at the boy with innocent eyes. Evidently, she was confused by the Son boy's interference. "But why, Gohan? There something killing students here; I have to do what I can to stop that."
Gohan shook his head. "Dihydrogen monoxide isn't dangerous. It's just two atoms of hydrogen fused with one atom of oxygen. Nothing dangerous there."
Erasa just blinked her eyes in confusion.
"Uhh, you've never heard of H20?"
This time, the boy was met with a blank stare.
"Just sign the thing," Sharpner said. "You don't want to risk your safety, right?"
It was at that moment a person by the name of Videl Satan entered the conversation, her school bag hanging on her shoulder. "What's this about risking safety?"
At this, Sharpner lit up. If there was one person that would side with him to stop this dangerous killer, it was the Satan City Police Force's only useful weapon. "The entire school's in danger Videl," he said. "Dihydrogen monoxide is running rampant in our halls and we have to do everything we can to stop it!"
The Satan girl just blinked her eyes before closing them, taking a deep breath. Setting her school bag onto the floor, she grabbed the list from Erasa and tossed it away; the piece of paper flopping around in the air before it landed on the stairway. "Don't bother with that stupid paper, Erasa," she said.
"But Videl!" Erasa protested. "What if Sharpner's right?!"
"Erasa, Dimwit over there is talking about water."
"That's what I was trying to tell her," Gohan chimed in.
The Satan girl looked at the boy. Before she could say anything though, the teacher walked in, demanding attention from the reluctant students. "Quiet down, quiet down everyone!" the teacher demanded. "We have very little material to cover and a lot of time to do it in." The teacher paused. "Uhh, I meant a lot of material and too little time," he corrected.
Moving towards the front of the room, the teacher pulled down the overhead screen. A couple attempts were made to keep the screen down since it didn't want to be used at the moment, but eventually obeyed. Next, the teacher moved to the door, pulling a small projector on top of a cart from the hall into the room. Setting it up at the perfect place, he picked up a VCR tape that had been sitting on the projector cart and put it into a conveniently located VCR.
Up on the screen, a fiery background appeared with the bolded letters SEX IS EVIL. This caused a groan from the whole class.
That very screen meant the class was gonna have to see yet another Sex Ed video. They had been forced to watch these since they were in junior high and with each video, it got more and more desperate to stop teens from engaging in sex.
And just as they had predicted, the video plunged into the evils that was sex; the usual information of how abstinence was the only way to keep girls from becoming pregnant, STDs from being transferred, and how contraceptives were about as useful as broken umbrella in a thunderstorm. Yep, it was the usual drivel all over again.
However, things livened up towards the middle of the film. Just as the class was about to be told the glorious nature of abstinence, the film faded away to reveal a very unusual sight. Tied on a bed was their beloved teacher, his white hair and mustache giving him away. He was wearing a white gown and angel wings, a flimsy looking halo hovering over his head. The angel get-up, however, wasn't the weirdest thing about the scene.
The teacher was tied to a bed that he was laying on. This seemed to confuse the students. Why would their teacher be tied to a bed?
That was when a short woman came onto the screen. Standing on thigh-length boots, she wore only a leather bra, thong with a devil's tail attached to it, and devil horns on her head. Her hair was tied into pig-tails, trying to give her an innocent look though she was anything but. A whip was in her hands as she stared down at the angel costumed teacher.
"Oh sweet Kami!" the teacher shouted as he raced to the projector. He had to turn the damn tape off before anyone in the class figured out what was going on. He had never meant to show his late night escapade with a dominatrix. His teaching career would be over if it came out!
Unfortunately, every single student knew what they were seeing, except for Gohan. While the teenagers were either grinning in anticipation, staring in shock, or covering their mouths to keep from laughing, Gohan just stared blankly. He didn't know what was going on but the moment he saw the dominatrix, something odd began to occur. Slowly, a trickle of blood began to drip from his nose.
Videl shook her head, embarrassed; not for her but for the teacher. Even as he scrambled to turn the projector off, there was no way he would keep his job.
Looking to Sharpner, she saw his amusement as he kept his eyes locked on the dominatrix. She just knew the jock would want to find out who that girl was. Boys could be so predictable.
Turning to Erasa, she saw her friend trying to stifle her giggles. As the sounds of whip meeting skin could be heard, the blonde had more and more difficulty keeping her laughter to herself.
That was when Videl finally noticed Gohan. He seemed a bit pale as he looked at the screen. A bit odd she thought, until she noticed the stream of blood leaking out of his nose. Acting immediately, she rushed to Gohan's side, trying to stop the bleeding with her hand. When the blood continued to run, the Satan girl had no choice but to use her shirt, putting it right into the gusher. "Can someone stop staring at the damn porno and go get me someone to stop this blood!" Videl shouted, catching the attention of some of the students.
Fortunately, the teacher finally figured out a way to stop the projector. Pulling the power cord out of the electric socket, the projector turned off, removing the image of the video. With a sigh, the man slumped to the floor, relieved that his torture was over.
It was to the sound of voices that Gohan awoke. How long they had been going, he knew not, but they were cutting into his beauty sleep. And as everyone knew, a sleep deprived demi-saiyan was a cranky demi-saiyan.
At the moment, the Son boy found himself lying on a bed; not a comfy bed, but one that would do. The white walls with posters of cartoon characters advocating good health told him he was in the nurse's office of the school. Now how did he get here?
Turning his head to a side, Gohan found a white drape that was meant to give privacy to the occupant of the other bed in the room. Currently, that drape was serving as a barrier between him and what appeared to be the silhouette of a small girl. Upon hearing her voice, the saiyan knew it to be Videl. She was saying something about blood on her shirt or something.
And then the unimaginable happened. Right before the Son boy, Videl's silhouette began pulling off its shirt. It didn't take much for the boy to realize that the Satan girl was now shirtless with the possibility of a bra being the only thing covering her chest.
Oh dear, sweet Kami.
It was because of the overuse of his imagination that the Son boy failed to notice another male in the room, that being Sharpner. What he was doing here was beyond him but apparently, he too had been watching the silhouette of Videl, but unlike Gohan, had plans to get a better picture.
When Videl had managed to temporarily stop Gohan's earlier nosebleed, she had quite a time trying to move the Son boy's body to the nurse. Thus she recruited their blond colleague and together, they both strained and grunted their way to the nurse's office, carrying a very heavy demi-saiyan.
With the stealth of a cat, Sharpner made his move, peering behind the drawn drape as he pulled it open.
Unfortunately for the peeping tom, and fortunately for Videl, the Satan girl had been looking right in Sharpner's direction, seeing his head pop into her line of sight. The daughter of Satan had no delusions that her…"friend" had wanted a quick look at her. That would prove to be his last mistake…ever…
With a war cry, Videl's Fist of Doom rammed right into Sharpner's pretty face, sending him flying into the far wall. Due to his holding of the drape, half of it had been torn off of the rings holding it to the ceiling, revealing the Satan girl in all of her half naked glory. Her usual black spandex shorts covered her lower body while an ordinary white bra covered her assets. A look of pure rage covered her face as steam leaked from her ears.
"Why your low life scum! I should break you in two!" she screamed, unleashing her fury. However, instead of making good on her threat, she pulled what remained of the drape in front of her, covering her up once more. Not once did she take notice of the wide-eyed Gohan, who had another nosebleed just threatening to leak out.
It was a few seconds later that the Son boy noticed that Sharpner hadn't been knocked out as he usually was by Videl. Turning his head to the blond, he saw the jock pry himself from the wall and dust himself off. A couple mumblings of how he had gotten dirty left his mouth before he noticed the conscious Gohan. "Well, looks like Nerd boy is awake," he observed out loud.
Walking over to the boy, the jock sat at the edge of the bed, looking right at Gohan. "You know, I think it's time you and I had a talk," Sharpner said, causing the demi-saiyan to look at him oddly.
"You and I both know you're not the innocent guy you pretend to be," the blond said. "I've seen all the girls after you and I get it. You're trying the 'weak guy angle' with them and it works. I don't begrudge ya that. That's how virgins work."
This caused the Son boy to blush from embarrassment.
"But one day, you will come to realize, just like me, that the best girls are the violent ones."
Gohan blinked his eyes. He had no idea what Sharpner was talking about. Girls chasing him? The only one he knew of was Videl and she had stalked him around the first couple of days after he arrived at Orange Star. Now the jock was relating that to violence? What was he trying to get at?
"Let's take Videl. When you finally become a man, like me, you'll see that chicks that can knock your lights out are firecrackers in bed. There's something about a girl dominating a guy that's really turns a guy on."
It was here that Gohan's thoughts began to drift. If he wasn't mistaken, that domination thing was similar to that homemade "movie" of their teacher's. Though he didn't see the charm behind that sort of thing, the Son boy couldn't help but replace that dominatrix with Videl. It didn't hurt that the Satan girl had her hair in pigtails, not to mention her devil-like temper.
Oh crap, that nosebleed was coming back.
"Plus, it doesn't hurt that she's bloody rich," Sharpner continued. "And Hercule's her dad, so anyone that can snag her can get the One and Only to train them."
What ever less than innocent thoughts Gohan had had at the moment evaporated. Why was money so important? And Hercule? That wasn't much of an enticement in his opinion.
Suddenly, the drape separating the boys from the girl in question was moved, revealing Videl in a yellow and blue shirt; the word RICE in bolded red letters written on the front of it. With the placement of the letters, Gohan had to look away with a slight blush. His view of what was underneath that word was still in his head. "I'm sure my dad would appreciate your words, Sharpner," she said sarcastically. "Personally, I would beat any boy with a bag of hammers if that was their intention."
"Hey babe," the jock replied, acting as if he hadn't heard a word she said. Probably was the case as well. "Glad you could join us. Me and Nerd boy here were having a man-to-man talk."
Videl rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I heard. Now quit filling Gohan's head with such stupid advice. He's the only smart guy in the school and he'll need all of his brain cells to stay that way."
"Brain cells are overrated," Sharpner scoffed.
"Only for you." Turning her attention to the demi-saiyan, the Satan girl took on a softer tone. "How you doing, Gohan? You feeling better?"
Not able to find his voice box, all Gohan could do was nod his head.
"That's good. I have to admit, you had me worried for a moment."
Gohan looked at her face, completely avoiding her shirt. "Y-you were?"
Videl nodded her head. "Yeah. I don't think I've seen someone lose so much blood before and that's saying something."
Grinning, the Son boy began scratching the back of his head. "It's not the first time I've bled."
"Paper cuts don't count, Nerd boy."
The sound of cracking knuckles could be heard from the Satan girl. "Either keep your mouth shut, Sharpner, or enjoy a knuckle sandwich."
Before there was a reply, the school nurse entered the room. "I see my patient is up," she commented upon seeing the teens. "And it's about time for you able-bodies to go back to class."
Nodding, Videl made her way to the door with Sharpner following her. Once they had left, the nurse went to work. "Okay Mr. Son, lay down. From what I've been told, you've lost a lot of blood, so about an hour's rest should be sufficient."
"I'm not really that tired," Gohan replied.
"So you're ready to go back to class?"
Just before he answered, the Son boy had a vision of a classroom full of people teasing him. He had been the only person to pass out from the video from earlier so naturally he'd be a target of jokes, especially about his lack of sexual experience. "I think I should have some rest after all."
A small smile covered the nurse's face. "What ever you say, Mr. Son."
Making himself as comfy as he could, Gohan couldn't help but slip into unconsciousness.
RyRy tested; MaMa approved.