On the walk home from school, Ritsu spotted something other than the moefuck walking beside her that caught her interest. A store had a picture in black and white of thin shirtless men striking lethargic poses and crying hanging in the window. It reminded Ritsu of something she needed to do.

Mio, who's eyes were fixed up at the sky because it was so mysterious and shit to her, noticed that Ritsu had stepped into the shop they had just passed without so much as a "G'bye, Bass playah."

The sky gave Mio the feeling of how insignificant and fleeting the mortal existence can be. In that moment, she decided to stimulate the economy by whatever means possible, convert to Christianity, and then jump off a cliff, for whatever reason.

The bassist considered following her friend into the store, but eventually decided against it because hairbands don't have feelings. And Ritsu herself was a useless addition to anyone's party, just like Shana in The Legend of Dragoon.


Ritsu, who had successfully barrel rolled into the store without any pistol injuries, looked around until she found what she was looking for. It was a small black desk fan. She went and paid for it with fuckyen, then ran out of the store to catch up with Mio. She had to switch from walking to running because they're two different actions like in an RPG. Fuck.

With her new fan in hand, she could now place it next to the small white desk fan she already owned and take a picture of them together to prove she wasn't racist.

"Mio! Wait up!" Ritsu called out to a middle-aged, sickly looking stranger, wondering if his name could also be Mio.

It wasn't.

The drummer considered calling him a pedophile, but didn't want to be shot. She realized that if zombies with hands that resembled tree branches that only came out at night didn't carry guns, this man would need one.

Ritsu ran like fuck.


After a few minutes of running, Ritsu saw the bassist up ahead. The drummer took off her hairband filled with rage and threw it at her. Even after feeling it strike her, Mio took no action and continued walking because she fucking hated Active Time Battle. Ritsu frowned, picking up her hairband, which had changed colors from yellow to purple, putting it back on and running up beside her friend. Mio seemed opposed to conversation, probably because their religious views conflicted, and having nothing to do with Ritsu being a bothersome son of a bitch.

"So, have you watched any Haruhi lately, Mio?"

"Ritsu, I'mma let you finish, but Endless Eight was the worst shit of all time!"


"That's not true."

A unanimous unspoken agreement to agree to disagree followed the two girls home. However, they could still both agree that if it doesn't say Kellogg's, it's not made by Kellogg's.