So, um, I don't even really know what to say here. It's been forever and a day, and I have no excuse other than my muse took an extended leave of absence and failed to leave a forwarding address. This chapter has actually been done for a little bit, I'm just not completely happy with it. Truthfully, I'm still not sure it's there, but I've gotten wonderful reviews lately that encouraged me to post. So thank you so much to those who are still reading/following/reviewing, you guys rock and totally make my day.


"Hey, man," Mark called out as he breezed past his friend on the way to the coffee pot at the nurse's station. He grimaced slightly at the bitterness, but he'd just finished a 5 hour procedure and was in no mood to stand in line at the coffee cart and unfortunately had no intern to do it for him.

"Hey," Derek responded absently.

"How was New York?" He turned to look at his friend.

Derek struggled to suppress his smirk and responded with a cool, "It was fine."

"Fine?" Mark repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine." Derek confirmed.

"What's fine?" Meredith asked as she came up beside the two and began to fill her own mug with coffee.

"I was just asking about the trip. How was it?"

"Oh, it was just great. Let's see the kids still all hate me. Derek forgot to buy Emily a gift and blamed me. The police were called on the party, and then Derek got into a pissing match with Addison's new boyfriend. And to top it off Derek goes AWOL and doesn't answer his phone for like 14 hours on our last night there, totally bailing on me and my friends and leaving me to deal with his fourteen nieces and nephews and his mother who wants to know why we don't have any grandchildren for her yet. Yea, it was a blast," she finished giving Derek a hard stare.

Derek just sighed, "I already apologized for missing dinner with your friends."

"Well, an apology doesn't just get you off the hook," she huffed, reaching for her pager when it starts going off. "I gotta go." She leans in for a quick kiss on the cheek before scurrying off.

"Addison was there?"

"Yea."

There was silence as Mark just stared at Derek for a moment. "What?" Derek finally asked.

"Pissing contest?"

"It wasn't like that. He is just annoying as hell and kept butting in on family matters. I don't even know why he was there."

Mark smirked, "Maybe to keep his girlfriend company?"

Derek scoffed. "His girlfriend. He is nowhere near her league; she could do so much better."

Mark shrugged, "Well she did pass up all this," he started, gesturing to himself, "so I guess she's taking what she can get."

"That's not funny," Derek told him with a sharp glare.

"Really? 'Cause I thought it was." Mark cocked his head. "Or maybe the problem is that you're picturing someone different with Addison." He folded his arms and stared the other man down. "Someone more like, I dunno…you?"

Derek turned and broke eye contact, "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is. Do I really need to remind you that we're divorced."

"No." He paused, "Do I need to remind you?"

"Okay, I'm done with this conversation." He turned to make his way to his office. Unfortunately, Mark wasn't deterred.

"Well, I'm not. What's going on with you?"

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked in an irritated tone.

"You're acting weird, being all broody and pouty. And you're distancing yourself with Meredith. You're starting to act like you did in New York."

"So, what is this your warning that you're going to sleep with my wife again?" Derek snapped as he pushed open the door to his office.

"Hell no. For once I'm in a happy committed relationship. Plus the current Mrs. Shepherd is nowhere near as hot as the former. And stop trying to deflect. What's up? Is this about Addison?"

"Why are you so hung up on me being in love with Addison?" Derek asked in exasperation.

"I'm not! I'm just pointing out that it seems that history is repeating itself and that you need to…Wait, what did you just say?"

"What?"

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing." Derek avoided eye contact as he sat in his desk chair.

"You're in love with Addison?"

"That's not what I said."

"Actually you did. I said nothing about love; that was all you. Freudian slip, perhaps?"

Mark leaned his hands on the desk and fixed Derek with a glare, "Exactly where were you for those missing 14 hours?"


After a blissful morning spent in her boyfriend's arms, Addison dropped Kevin off at the hospital and checked in on Haley before going into the practice. After being gone for a few days, she had a very full schedule waiting for her. This she was thankful for; it reduced the opportunities for recent memories to creep into her consciousness.

"You're hiding something," Naomi noted, eyeing her friend with suspicion. Throughout the day, Addison would pause, as though remembering something, take a deep breath, blush, and shake her head as though waking from a dream.

Addison startled and turned to face her, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. What happened in New York? Was there a problem at the convention? I knew I should have gone with you. Something always-"

"Nae, breathe. Nothing happened, the conference was fine."

"Then what happened? Why are you so out of it?"

"I, uh, I just had my usual run-in with Derek's mom at the graduation."

"That's not it. As you said, that's usual. This is something different." Naomi looked at her with concern, "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Naomi scoffed as she opened the refrigerator, "Oh, you are so not fine. You know, you might as well tell me what you did because you know that I'm going to find out anyway." She grabbed a bottle of water then turned to face her friend.

Addison sighed and leaned her palms against the island. She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes, "I did something really bad," she whispered.

"Ah, come on," Naomi said jokingly, knocking her hips into Addison's, "It can't be that bad."

Addison swallowed. Her fingers dove into his curls as she pulled him closer to her, her thighs gripping his hips as they moved in perfect rhythm. She took another deep breath, "It really is."

"Alright, what did you do that was so terrible?"

Addison opened her eyes and turned to face her friend, the person who had always been there for her and had never judged her. Except in her last indiscretion. "I-" As Addison looked into Naomi's eyes, she felt herself falter. Could she really tell her this, what would she think of her? "I…" Addison sighed, "I went to Junior's and I ate an entire strawberry cheesecake by myself," she mumbled.

Naomi laughed out, "Jeez, is that all? That's nothing that a little time on the treadmill won't cure. I thought you were going to say something huge, like you cheated on Kevin or something. In which case I would have had to kill you, because you guys are so perfect together." She chuckled to herself as Addison smiled weakly. "Oh, Addie, you're such a drama queen sometimes," she said shaking her head as she walked out with her bottle of water.

Addison kept her smile in place until Naomi rounded the corner, then she dropped her head into her hands.

"Liar."

Addison looked up to see the curly-haired shrink walking into the kitchen. "What?"

"Liar. I don't know what just happened, but it's pretty obvious that whatever it is involved you lying to Naomi."

Addison furrowed her brow in confusion, "How do you…?"

"You get this look on your face whenever you're keeping something big, and particularly when you're lying." Addison just stared. "What? I'm a psychiatrist, I'm trained to notice these things."

"Well, I've never really been the best liar," she stared down at her hands.

Violet grabbed her water from the fridge and turned to look at the red-head. "Look, I know that you generally like to talk to Sheldon when things are…not going how you want them too, and I know that we're not really friends or anything, but if you need to talk, my door is open."

"Thanks, Violet, but I'm ok."

Violet shrugged, "Well, the offer stands. Now if you'll excuse me, this child is pushing on my bladder. See ya around."


Derek broke eye contact and began shuffling the papers on his desk. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, let's see, you disappear into the city under mysterious circumstances, can't be contacted for hours at a time, and come back looking like the cat that got the canary while your wife looks pissed. You can see how that would cause an innocent bystander to wonder," he finished with a smirk, settling into a chair in front of the desk.

Derek looked up annoyed, "Please make yourself comfortable."

"Oh, thanks." Mark leaned back in his chair, laced his fingers together behind his head, and propped his feet on the desk knocking over a picture of Meredith. Derek glanced at it briefly before shifting the picture to the side and shoving Mark's feet from the desk. He then returned his attention to the papers in front of him.

Mark chuckled, "Interesting."

Derek glanced up at him, "There's nothing interesting here."

"Oh, but there is.

"There was nothing mysterious about my reasons for going into the city. I had a meeting-"

"I'll bet you had a meeting."

"With Steve Kim," Derek continued, ignoring the remark. "He'd just been named chief of staff and tried to lure me back to New York with a very lucrative job offer."

"Okay, I'll be generous and say that took, oh, three hours, four at the most. That still leaves at least 10 hours free."

"What are you a private investigator all of a sudden?"

"No, just able to do simple math."

Derek stopped pretending to read and looked Mark in the eye. "Why do you care?"

"I'm trying to stop you from doing something stupid, but I'm getting the feeling that I might be too late." He shifted and sat up in the chair, "And I'm tired of beating around the bush. What happened between you and Addison in New York?"

Derek sputtered at the direct question, "Noth-nothing happened. We-"

"Derek, I know you better than almost anyone else. Stop bullshitting me and spit it out."

Derek got up and walked around his desk, before perching on the side of it. "Fine. I—I told her that I was tired of trying with Meredith and that I was getting out and I may have indirectly propositioned her."

Mark leaned forward and placed his head in his hands before dragging them down his face. He took a deep breath and slapped his hands on his thighs before standing up slowly, "Well, okay then."

His right hook caught Derek square in the jaw and knocked him flat on his ass.

"What the hell was that?" Derek sat up wiping the blood from his face, "I'm bleeding here."

"You're lucky I didn't break it, asshole." He rolled his eyes before reaching down to help him up. "Why would you do that to her? I thought you were done screwing with her head."

Derek walked over to the mirror. "I'm not screwing with her. Look at this, I'm gonna need stitches."

"Oh, quit whining, pretty boy, I'll sew you up. Although I should let an intern do it, like you did for me. And you should just leave her alone. She is happy; let her get on with her life."

"She's not happy," he muttered.

"And how would you know that?"

"I know. I know her."

"Well then you should also know that she would have to be certifiable to get mixed up with you again."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Derek asked exasperatedly.

"Are you really that stupid? You were the worst husband ever Derek! Then when she followed you out here you treated her like something stuck to the bottom of your shoe. I swear the only husband worse than you would have to be Henry VIII."

"We weren't all bad you know. There was over a decade of good times mixed in there. I don't think it's such a crazy idea. The kind of love that we have doesn't just end."

"Really? And what was her response to your little declaration?"

"She basically told me to go to hell."

"Exactly." He grabbed him by the shoulders, "Derek you're my brother, but hear me and understand. Addison is done with you. She has moved on. She is never coming back to you again, and you need to let her go and figure out what the hell is wrong with your relationship with your wife and fix it."

Derek pushed him away, "And see that's where you're wrong. She does love me, she still wants me, and that's why she slept with me!"

Mark was stunned, "What?"

"Yea, you wanted to know where I was for those ten hours? I was having some of the best sex ever with the love of my life. That's where I was! So stop talking about shit you know nothing about."

Mark fell back into his chair. "Oh."

"Yea, 'oh'."

"I was not expecting that."

Derek scoffed, "Clearly." The men sat in silence for a while. "So, are you going to sew me up or what?"


Addison stopped by the hospital again after work. When she was unable to convince Kevin to come home with her, she returned to her house intending to drown her thoughts in a bottle of merlot she had been saving. However, as she pulled into her driveway, it seemed that there were other plans in store for her.

She let herself into her home and looked around, "Hello?"

Naomi peeked her head out of the kitchen, "Hey, you're just in time. I'll fix you a plate."

"What's going on?" she asked stripping out of her jacket and hanging it up.

"Well, you seemed a little down today, so I thought we'd have a girls night."

"Personally, I'm here for the booze. Nice stock by the way, Montgomery," Charlotte drawled, dropping into an arm chair, martini glass in hand.

"And Naomi promised to feed me," Violet mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"Thanks for the support, guys."

"Well, I'm here for you, girl," Nae said, handing Addison a plate of her mouth-watering vegetarian baked ziti casserole and a glass of wine. "We have good food, good company, and a movie. And don't worry the food is low-cal," she added with a wink.

"What movie?" Addison inquired, taking a sip of wine.

"An Affair to Remember."

Addison nearly spit out her wine. "Are you okay?" Naomi asked, rubbing her back.

"Um," Addison cleared her throat, "Ye-yeah, it just went down the wrong pipe." She smiled reassuringly at Naomi and studiously avoided Violet's gaze.

About half-way through the movie, the silence was interrupted by the beeping of pagers. Everyone reached for their purse, but Naomi and Charlotte were the (un)lucky ones.

"My last-chance IVF couple just went into labor," Naomi summarized.

"Family is contesting DNR document. Lawyers called," Charlotte read.

"Oh, the life of the Chief," Addison teased with a smirk.

Charlotte rolled her eyes and threw back the end of her drink. "Thanks for the drink, I'm sure I'll be thankful for it when they start with all that legalese." She gathered her things and met Naomi at the door, with Addison trailing behind.

"Sorry, girl," Naomi said, "We'll chat tomorrow, yea?"

"Sure," Addison confirmed, shutting the door behind them. She returned to the couch and stretched out, purposefully not glancing Violet's way. "Let's finish the movie shall we?"

As the credits rolled, Violet reached over and grabbed the remote stopping the DVD. "Well, Deborah Kerr's secret is out, you wanna reveal yours?"

"Not particularly," Addison started tidying the room, bringing the plates and glasses to the kitchen.

"Are you sure about that? Because you look like you're going to explode." Violet followed her into the room, watching as she loaded the dishwasher.

"Of course. I'm fine." Addison took a large gulp of wine.

Violet smirked, "You know what F.I.N.E. stands for don't you? It's-"

"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. I saw the Italian Job too, thanks."

"I'm just saying in this instance it seems to fit."

Addison rolled her eyes, "Whatever, I'm fi- I'm okay."

"Okay." Violet took a seat at the bar and just watched Addison until the kitchen was spotless.

Addison ignored her and continued to clean. Once she was finished she took a glance around to see what else needed to be done.

He teased her bringing his lips within millimeters of her own before pulling back, laughing at the growl of frustration that was forced from her throat, before gasping himself as she flipped them over taking control as the dominant slipping her tongue into his mouth as her hand trailed slowly down his abdomen to her destination.

She shook her head hard to dispel the memory, and anxiously searched for something else to do.

"Having trouble finding another distraction?" Violet smirked, having watched the entire scene.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're annoying?"

"Many times." Violet shifted in her seat, "Mostly when I was hitting too close to home. Either way, I choose not to let it affect my self-esteem." She paused, "Most of the time anyway. And especially not now because I know that I'm right. Now spill."

"Alright." Addison sighed, "Something…something happened…in-in New York."

"Okay."

"I-" she faltered. "You can't tell anyone this." Violet nodded. "I went to my niece's graduation party and Derek, my ex-husband, was there with his new wife.

"The intern he left you for," Violet filled in.

Addison's eyes darted to her, "Well, resident now, but yea. Anyway, he was being a total jerk and ass to everyone, especially his wife. Somehow I was caught in the kitchen and privy to a very personal conversation between him and his wife and after she left he told me it wasn't working, that he was getting out, and that he thought I'd be interested."

"Wow. And what did you say?"

Addison shrugged, "I told him off. And told him I was absolutely not interested."

Violet nodded, "Well I can certainly see how that can have you upset, particularly given your history, and…," she trailed off, looking closer at the red-headed woman. "That's not it, is it?

Addison shook her head shamefully, "No." She sighed, "He showed up at my hotel after Kevin left and he was being extra charming and telling me everything that I had been dying to hear from him for years, and then we were in the elevator and he was so close and smelled so good and felt incredible and then I-I," she ran shaky hands through her hair, before gesturing again, "I-I couldn't think with him that close and I was pushing him away, then he told me he loved me and, and…" she trailed off.

"And?" Violet prodded gently.

"And-and then I-we, he…" She sighed, "Next thing I knew, I was lying naked in bed next to my ex-husband."

"What happened the next morning?"

"I left before he woke up."

"Have you talked to him?"

Addison shook her head, "No, he's called, but I won't pick up."

"Why not?"

"What the hell am I supposed to say?"

"How do you feel about what happened?

"I-It was a mistake. I love Kevin, I am in love with Kevin. Kevin is great, he is wonderful, loving, caring, attentive, everything I want in a man."

"But?"

Addison looked at her in confusion, "What but?"

"It sounds like there should be a but to that statement."

Addison sat down at the kitchen table, "But Kevin is not Derek." She placed her head on her folded arms, "I am so messed up," she mumbled to the table.

The ladies sat in silence until Violet broke it with a question she couldn't hold in any longer. "Well, was he any good?

"What?!" Addison's head popped up so fast she was almost dizzy. "That's your question?"

"Hey, I'm full-on second trimester here. Soooo?" she urged.

"It was-" She closed her eyes briefly.

Her head was thrown back in a soundless moan as her fingers clawed desperately at the sheets. His mouth did not cease its movement as his fingers joined in the pleasurable assault, forcing a groan from her throat.

Addison turned to face Violet. "It was multi-orgasmic."

"Multiples?" She inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Multiples." Addison confirmed.

"Sounds like it was worth it to me," Violet said with a smirk.

Addison smiled her first real smile all evening, "Why aren't you being more judgmental?"

"Well, for one I am a licensed board-certified psychiatrist. I spent years learning how to listen without judgment. Two, I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is. I am in no position to judge."


So, what do you think? ::Anxiously awaiting feedback.:: Be kind, I'm low on scotch. ;-P